I'm on the GG side. We need to start taking resonsibility for who we are

[Tree GG]

One bright spot: in the early to mid adulthood of boomers, CD's were sick and perverted members of society. Now, although they may not be embraced as good-ol-boys, I think there is at least a bit more tolerance than that. Progress has been made - albeit slow, it's still progress.

As far as honesty goes, absolutely the trust and what else are you hiding is a factor with a wife. How's about kids, siblings and in-laws? When is coming out selfishly inflicting an emotional burden on a loved one vs. sharing who you are? When does seeking acceptance of a part of you warrant the cost? Case in point, my mother lost a son and husband within 12 mos and 12 days of each other. A heavy loss - would coming out to her now be liberating, adding additional loss, allowing her to experience new lifestyles, beneficial to him or her in any way? Now I lost the same brother and father AND found out my husband is TG in that same time frame - I can't answer those questions with any certainty.

Not saying hiding is the best policy, but I think the CD has a huge responsibility to know how big a piece CDing is to his life and needs to share that intimate detail with compassion and respect for his position in others' lives.

[Leah B]

When watching TV series, a crossdresser was in the series. Then my SO said, just like that: if you ever do someting like that I´ll pick up the kids and leave.
That´s not an invitation to tell her :(

Preempt her. Take the kids first and leave her a note and picture :)

[EmmaJane TS]

Hi Michelle,

Told the wife and now I'm getting divorced! TBH there were other factors in us splitting up but CD'ing played it's part. It is great advice though hun but remember it takes two to tango and if your SO is against CD'ing then regardless if you tell (rather than being caught) it still going to be an uphill battle.

[Karren H]

Well my wife does know and doesn't like it... Personally I'd rather she didn't know.. That make me a liar, fine... An out 31 years marriage is good and strong, but only because I put my family and wife first, always... If theres time left for Karren... That's great... And I'm a good husband to my wife which is what she wants and what I want...

And I disagree the most familys and SOs would not have a problem if they found out.. To the contrary, the Totaly accepting SO is a myth and doesn't really exist except in our minds... Wishful thinking.... The GGs that aproach totaly accepting are more like a high degree of tollerence... Ask anyone... Its different levels of tollerence not acceptence after all who really want their mate to want to dress and act like the opposite sex!

And the GGs here, god love um, are biased... The tolerate more than anyone... The ones that don't tolerate are not represented here because ..... Well they don't tollerate!! Lol. Daahhhh...

So that's my story and I'm sticking with it... Right wrong or indifferent...

Karren

[vbcdgrl]

Not gonna let you have it, Michelle. I agree with you. It's sad that so many of us have to live this way. I wish I had a magic solution, you know "live happily ever after", but I don't think there is one. Everyone has to deal with it in their own way. As for me, I'm a 2X divorcee. Neither of my Xs knew while we were married, and this caused a lot of stress in my life. I recently "came out" to my most recent X, and she's OK with it. But, of course, she doesn't have to live with me.....big difference.

Vikki

[Kerry Owens]

Thank you Michelle, and Karren I don't know what your definition of "totally accepting" is but evidently the standard you're looking for is something far beyond reality. I never had a problem with Lawren or Lo's cross dressing ever.
I've seen far worse stuff that a man can do, and Lo is a angel compared to that.

[Marissa_Black]

Thanks so much for the wonderful post. I agree with every word in your post as well as all the punctutation!!!

[cocopuff's girl GG]

Thank you for seeing it from our side michelle. It's not thhe fact of finding out as you can see I'm ok with it for the most part, still kinda weird yes but it's because most of us grew up with it planted in our heads that boys do this and girls do that. The ones who come out and lay it all out on the table and start with the attitude(This is me so deal with it) those are the ones who family's get's crushed and then the CDer is standing there in a ablivious acting like he just can't understand what's wrong with his GG. She went nuts on me well Duhhhhhh what did you expect when you just throw it out there and are not willing to let in sink in and not willing to consider her feelings. Basically you are saying this is who I am and what I like to do and if you don't like it or can't accept it then start walking.... and don't let the door hit you on the way out. I'd just like to say Thank you for litterally walking in our shoes for a moment and seeing things like we see it.

[linnea]

When watching TV series, a crossdresser was in the series. Then my SO said, just like that: if you ever do someting like that I´ll pick up the kids and leave.
That´s not an invitation to tell her

My SO has made virtually this same statement on several occasions. While I would like to have a relationship based on the whole truth, for the time being (probably forever), I will try to continue my relationship on "most of the truth." Of course, if the shoe were on the other foot, I might feel betrayed and disillusioned. On the other hand, I think that I might understand my SO's fears about telling me something so surprising (shocking) as my CDing would be to her.
In my estimation, the investment we have both made in our relationship--a relationship with many strengths--is too great to risk at this time (likely ever).

[Di]

Karen...... WRONG!!!!!!

You said.....".the Totaly accepting SO is a myth and doesn't really exist except in our minds... Wishful thinking.... The GGs that aproach totaly accepting are more like a high degree of tollerence... Ask anyone... Its different levels of tollerence not acceptence "


In my case and I know many others just like me...that searched and wanted a relationship with a cd/tg...took me a while to Find THE one I totally clicked with....but there is unconditional love...and total acceptance.( from us both)...I want Sherlyn to be happy...whatever road that leads is fine with me,,,from part time Sher time to 100 percent Sher.
You also said "after all who really want their mate to want to dress and act like the opposite sex! " GUILTY....I try to spark her into dressing whenever it wans......

So just as there are as many different types of cd,s...there are just as many different GG's

[Kieron Andrew]

GUILTY....I try to spark her into dressing whenever it wans......

i can prove to this being true! shes had me helping her lol

[kathy gg]

.. To the contrary, the Totaly accepting SO is a myth and doesn't really exist except in our minds... Wishful thinking....

Karren

It's always good to know I am a myth and don't exsist....and Marla gg and Di {Sherlyns' gg so}....none of us exsist either...thanks Karen. Nice to know we are all figments of your imagination.

[claireswife-gg]

I'm often asked why our relationship works so well.

Talk talk talk talk talk talk.

Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty!

Be kind every day.

Do nice things for each other.

Understand that each partner can experience a rollercoaster of emotions at any given time, and they MUST talk about it.

That's it. The big secret. :D

[Wendy me]

well my wife knows and is not supportive at all we have made some steps forward ... a myth ??? no for me a wish .... and i am hopeful that one day she might be more open to it.... the supportive S.O> is not a myth... more a dream or a goal to strive for....

[Carin's Wife GG]

It's always good to know I am a myth and don't exsist....and Marla gg and Di {Sherlyns' gg so}....none of us exsist either...thanks Karen. Nice to know we are all figments of your imagination.

I am not a figment of anyone's imagination except perhaps *the great and mighty always out there* karen!

I will join you and the others in the imaginary role of celebrating GG if you will have me!


Louise.:

[Carin's Wife GG]

I am not a figment of anyone's imagination except perhaps *the great and mighty always out there* karen!

I will join you and the others in the imaginary role of celebrating GG if you will have me!


Louise.:

marry her in June!


A VERY pissed off Louise GG.

[Karren H]

Karen...... WRONG!!!!!!

You said.....".the Totaly accepting SO is a myth and doesn't really exist except in our minds... Wishful thinking.... The GGs that aproach totaly accepting are more like a high degree of tollerence... Ask anyone... Its different levels of tollerence not acceptence "


In my case and I know many others just like me...that searched and wanted a relationship with a cd/tg...took me a while to Find THE one I totally clicked with....but there is unconditional love...and total acceptance.( from us both)...I want Sherlyn to be happy...whatever road that leads is fine with me,,,from part time Sher time to 100 percent Sher.
You also said "after all who really want their mate to want to dress and act like the opposite sex! " GUILTY....I try to spark her into dressing whenever it wans......

So just as there are as many different types of cd,s...there are just as many different GG's

Your one in a million, Di.... How about mythical... hehehe.... I don't know why I argue with a woman... I know I will always loose.... happends wevery time!!! So say there are 350 million people in US and Canada.... 50% male, 75% over 18, 5% crossdress, and 50% are married and you two are the only accelting GG's around...... That's 0.0000305% Rounding error... hehehe One in 3.25 million to be exact....

Karren

[Kate Simmons]

Hmmm, Just one thing to say. When I first joined here, I advised a CD to "fess up" to her SO. Man, did I get hammered for that. So, guess the thinking has changed in a year, then?

[Taurus44 GG]

Hi there Karren,

I too am one of the imaginary type of GG's that you spoke of. I not only enjoy my partners dressing, I do most of the purchasing of the outfits, including picking up wigs in various colors, applying make-up and photographing the tranformations for us to enjoy looking over afterwards. However, I do understand, where many are coming from, society still has a long way to go before all people can feel comfortable to just relax in thier own skin. But, a life of duality within a relationship isn't a life I would wish on anyone, nor would I want to be in such a situation. Even though I certainly do empathise with the why it happens. And I do understand any GG partner that might freak out upon finding out such info, having not a clue or an understanding to the concept. The GG's feelings would have to be considered as well, she's built a life around what she now believes was a lie. She's in shock, she has to rework her entire world's concept about who you are and how that relates to her. She will probably be questioning her entire being as well, she might even start questing her own womanhood. Some will pull through this some won't.

I'm torn between feeling, its inexcusable to deceive the ones you say you care for and being somewhat understanding of the older generation. What happens if they find out by accident anyway? But, then of those that have been in their marriages from way back in the old days of where it really was deemed a mental illness or some other extreme nonsense to have done any of the things we do now, its just really difficult for me to be overly judgemental about some of the choices people made back then. So many people hadn't haven't a clue who they were/are and some never will. Sometimes it's just not fair to speak on another's situation unless you've walked in their shoes or at least have a few more details of. But, when coming out to the partner, being self serving or arrogant about it isn't acceptable, that's for sure.

Rosa (GG) Who still has so much to learn

[Carin's Wife GG]

Hi there Karen,

I too am one of the imaginary type of GG's that you spoke of. I not only enjoy my partners dressing, I do most of the purchasing of the outfits, including picking up wigs in various colors, applying make-up and photographing the tranformations for us to enjoy looking over afterwards. However,

I do understand, where many are coming from, society still has a long way to go before all people can feel comfortable to just relax in thier own skin. But, a life of duality within a relationship isn't a life I would wish on anyone, nor would I want to be in such a situation. Even though I certainly do empathise with the why it happens. And I do understand any GG partner that might freak out upon finding out such info, having not a clue or an understanding to the concept. The GG's feelings would have to be considered as well, she's built a life around what she now believes was a lie. She's in shock, she has to rework her entire world's concept about who you are and how that relates to her. She will probably be questioning her entire being as well, she might even start questing her own womanhood. Some will pull through this some won't.

I'm torn between feeling, its inexcusable to deceive the ones you say you care for and being somewhat understanding of the older generation. What happens if they find out by accident anyway? But, then of those that have been in their marriages from way back in the old days of where it really was deemed a mental illness or some other extreme nonsense to have done any of the things we do now, its just really difficult for me to be overly judgemental about some of the choices people made back then. So many people hadn't haven't a clue who they were/are and some never will. Sometimes it's just not fair to speak on another's situation unless you've walked in their shoes or at least have a few more details of. But, being self serving or arrogant about it isn't acceptable.

Rosa (GG) Who still has so much to learn

Thank you! (I am still pissed though!)


Louise.

[NewBetty]

Karen...... You said.....".the Totaly accepting SO is a myth and doesn't really exist except in our minds...

In my case and I know many others just like me...there is unconditional love...I want Sherlyn to be happy..

You also said "after all who really want their mate to want to dress and act like the opposite sex! "

GUILTY....I try to spark her into dressing

I was lucky enough to be in a relationship where gender roles were not set in stone. We could be who we were. In fact, my wife was more courageous and embraced non conformist behavior with more zeal than I. I know her concern was only that I might find I liked men better(I don't!), and I hadn't dressed except since we experimented with it together years ago.

Now she's gone and I've been dressing obsessively for weeks, but I still sense her acceptance of me and her desire for me to find whatever makes me happy.

[Shelly R]

A BIG thank you for the post and your thoughts Michelle, excellent!
My hat's off to the rest of the GG's in this world for their understanding, and love.
My exwife supports me 100%, just can't be married to a woman. We still talk. There is hope

[claireswife-gg]

Well, so nice to know I'm imaginary. LOL.

My spouse is in transition and I'm having the best time of my life.

[cocopuff's girl GG]

Add another figure it to your imaginary GG's Karen. I am accepting because I want him to be happy and because I do love him. Still fairly new to the idea but I have a great SO who goes slow and respects my feelings as I respect his. I'm sorry your SO wants to know nothing about your CD lifestyle but there are some of us who know and can be ok with it. It does take time to get use to but they say time heals all wounds. If someone does a poll on accepting GG's I wonder how many there would be. Count me in.

[Carin's Wife GG]

Add another figure it to your imaginary GG's Karen. I am accepting because I want him to be happy and because I do love him. Still fairly new to the idea but I have a great SO who goes slow and respects my feelings as I respect his. I'm sorry your SO wants to know nothing about your CD lifestyle but there are some of us who know and can be ok with it. It does take time to get use to but they say time heals all wounds. If someone does a poll on accepting GG's I wonder how many there would be. Count me in.

I think some are envious of supportive SOs.


from an figmant of the imagination.

Otherwise known as Louise.GG