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Thread: Why are we hetero CDs always mistaken for gays, bis or transexuals?

  1. #26
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Right on Melinda, about legs!

    I am a leg man, and dress mostly to see a great pair of long legs, in hose, and heels. I would like a future wife, to dress up, too, but, no success, yet. Jeans are the almost always worn gg item.

  2. #27
    Feeling Good today AmberTG's Avatar
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    Just a note here about the term "gay" and the term "bi". The term "gay" means that you are only attracted to members of the same physical sex. The term "bi" means that you are attracted to members of the same physical sex and also members of the opposite physical sex. So, to say that the term "bi" is not a valid term just shows a lack of knowlege, an ignorance of the subject matter. My question would be "Why do people make statements about things that they know nothing about?"
    "I see your true colors shining through, your true colors, and that's why I love you,
    so don't be afraid to let them show, your true colors, true colors are beautiful, like a rainbow"

    "Without change,something sleeps deep inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken!"[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #28
    Member brenya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmberTG View Post
    Just a note here about the term "gay" and the term "bi". The term "gay" means that you are only attracted to members of the same physical sex. The term "bi" means that you are attracted to members of the same physical sex and also members of the opposite physical sex. So, to say that the term "bi" is not a valid term just shows a lack of knowlege, an ignorance of the subject matter. My question would be "Why do people make statements about things that they know nothing about?"
    very well put, rite on!

  4. #29
    Blushing June '07 Bride Sheri 4242's Avatar
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    My short answer would be to paraphrase a book I read a few years ago: "Heterosexual crossdressers bother almost everyone . . . (b/c in no small part) there is a congruence of sexual orientation."

    To take this a step further, to M/M John Q Pulic, "gay crossdressing" would make sense. Ironically, it doen't make sense to the heterosexual crossdresser, and it makes no sense to many (most) gay men.

  5. #30
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    Hi, I as always like to post , is your soul male or female. I had an interesting meeting with one of my male poker playing friends yesterday. He duz not know I cross dress, we were in a post office as he had a lot of packages to send out, I had some buz there to, well we were talking an the postal clerk was chimeing in when he said that the next postal clerk was kind of shy when THE BOYS talk about women. My friend comes out with why do women like all these gay good looking guys they get these beutiful women . I kind of looked at him an the clerk an said that is why I have my ears pirced an wear ear rings , I have a small diamond in my right ear an small loop in my left. He looked at me an said you are not gay are you, I said not right now an you are to ugly not my type. The clerk laught, I am getting more an more brave when people put any type an am starting to stand up an be counted, Good luck all .

    Josephine

  6. #31
    Senior Member Robin Leigh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
    And I say this by experience, because I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past that thought this way even though they clearly experienced my maleness, by having sex with me when we both were super-sexily dressed in lingerie. They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated by society.
    When I was young & uninformed, I assumed I must be bi because I was attracted to women but I also liked dressing up. I was very shy around GGs (and still am, a bit) and my first sexual encounters were with other males, but I was never en femme (except in my imagination). It was fun, but it never really satisfied my true desires. When I finally did experience sex with a woman it was like a whole different universe. And when I met a bi girl who liked to play with me dressed up, I thought I was in heaven! :D

    I'm glad I explored my sexuality in my younger days. When en femme, alone, I sometimes fantasize about being with a man, but I know it's a fantasy & I'm not really interested in the reality.

    I generally tell my girlfriends about my bi history before I tell them about my CDing. And generally, the bi thing is easier for them to understand & accept at first than the CDing.

    Robin
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    Diagonally parked in a parallel universe

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toyah View Post
    I think you only have to look at some of the posts here that state you must like men because you are a CD to see how ingrained the Gay Bi prejudice about us is and then hey you just throw that one in I may be Bi.
    I really dont see any difference between Bi or Gay both want men I dont. Its quite simple to be a hetro guy and be a CD being Bi is a cop out if you are Gay fine admit it and get on with your life
    There are people who don't like to limit their sexual activities to just one gender Toyah---no "cop out" We just like to go both ways---after all why not? Are you really suggesting that a person has to either like men or women but can't like both?
    Last edited by MsJanessa; 05-31-2007 at 11:13 AM.
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  8. #33
    Barbara
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    I am amazed at the amount of thought and information that has been presented here. Thanks to all for the education! There are so few people that I have met that really have thought about this subject, from any aspect of it and so only express the "canned" opinion of the majority of non-thinkers. I take every opportunity to promote acceptance by saying things like I wear a dress on occcasion or I wear my wifes underwear. Usually gets a laugh but does open doors to thought. Even Tom Hanks mentioned he was wearing his dates panties in the movie Dragnet, got a laugh, but who knows what Tom Hanks wears in private? Actor Rober Vaughn (Man From U.N.C.L.E. televsion show) (shows my age!) was the the male stereotype in all ways yet in many movies he is shown in a corset and lots of lace. What is his secret? Was he trying to show that this is an acceptable behavior?

    I ramble, sorry. Someday things will change and we can be as we wish.
    Barbara

    Let it Blossom - Let it grow

  9. #34
    Yea Stacie is not my real
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    Some of us here are TS, But most people have other thoughts of what we are because of the lack of educating the public on being transgender. Most CD's never leave the safty of their house, Because of the fears of getting caught. Untill the public understands us we will always be put under catergories were not.

  10. #35
    Enjoying Life marie354's Avatar
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    I think that they class so many as "gay" is that is something that they can understand. They can't understand any of the other aspects, it just confuses them, so they just think what they know.
    It's sad, really, There aren't any two people alike in this world, and some just like to classify us in that general category to make it easier for them.
    I wish that they would just get with the program and get up to date.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #36
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Ignorants is the reason some thinklike that but they wont do the homework
    and find the truth of the matter
    Angie

  12. #37
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Even we in this community are often confused and don't always get it, so it shouldn't surprise us that the general public is not well-informed. We get so many threads here that ask, "Am I gay?" Fortunately, we're here to help each other figure this stuff out, but unless and until we're able to educate the public at large, there will always be misinformation out there.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #38
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    It also does not help that society tags us onto the end of the gay scene as they do not know where to put us.

  14. #39
    That's right, I did it Sharon's Avatar
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    It's my experience that most people confuse transsexuals for crossdressers, but it doesn't really matter to me what people think, other than those who know me.
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    Marilyn Monroe

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    Guess you need to wear a bumper sticker "I'm not gay... I'm just really happy, ohhh and pretty too..". Hehehe
    Love Karren
    i love it

    Quote Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
    They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated by society.

    What do you people think?
    Because a guy wearing super-sexy lingerie is less likely to be discriminated against than a non hetero individual?

    Your logic troubles me.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  16. #41
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    Of course I'm speaking 4 myself and all hetero CDs

    Quote Originally Posted by MsJanessa View Post
    What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.
    My comment never intended to be interpreted as if I were speaking for all people in the forum. Obviously, I'm speaking on behalf of ALL HETERO CDS in the Forum, including myself, although of course, my posting is open to comments from everybody, like yourself. I hope this clears up this apparent misunderstanding.
    Last edited by espaniola; 05-31-2007 at 11:07 AM. Reason: Correction

  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToyGirl View Post
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    Guess you need to wear a bumper sticker "I'm not gay... I'm just really happy, ohhh and pretty too..". Hehehe
    Love Karren
    i love it

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
    They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated by society.

    What do you people think?
    Because a guy wearing super-sexy lingerie is less likely to be discriminated against than a non hetero individual?

    Your logic troubles me.
    Sorry I got you confused. Yes, IN MY PARTICULAR CASE, of course a hetero guy wearing super-sexy lingerie IN PRIVATE with his girlfriend is MUCH less likely to be discriminated against than a bi or gay guy who is openly gay or bi, because the latter will OBVIOUSLY be known for dating guys, or going to gay bars, or having a SO of the same sex.

    Even if the gay or bi is in the closet, there are sooo many clues to immediately finding out his sexual orientation, like having gay magazines as opposed to having girly magazines, or staring at guys in the street or at the mall, rather than staring at girls.

    Also, as far as I know, gays and bis have very different mannerisms than straight guys (including CDs): gays and bis are more emotional and effeminate when they interact with others (specially other guys), and hetero CDs are as rude and "unemotional" as the guy next door, even though they (we) enjoy immensely wearing sexy women's clothing, and feeling "feminine" (sexy) by ourselves or with a girl companion.

    But this is just my opinion, based on my particular experience. My point here is: I DON'T LIKE TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A GAY OR BI, BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO MEN SEXUALLY, and when you crossdress, the immediate inference is: He's gay! He's bisexual!
    Last edited by espaniola; 05-31-2007 at 11:57 AM. Reason: correction

  18. #43
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Stereotypical thinking

    Quote Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
    Also, as far as I know, gays and bis have very different mannerisms than straight guys (including CDs): gays and bis are more emotional and effeminate when they interact with others (specially other guys), and hetero CDs are as rude and "unemotional" as the guy next door, even though they (we) enjoy immensely wearing sexy women's clothing, and feeling "feminine" (sexy) by ourselves or with a girl companion.
    Not necessarily true of ALL gays, bis and hetero CDs. Not everyone is going to fit the mold of whatever group they belong to.

    Quote Originally Posted by espaniola
    But this is just my opinion, based on my particular experience. My point here is: I DON'T LIKE TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A GAY OR BI, BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO MEN SEXUALLY, and when you crossdress, the immediate inference is: He's gay! He's bisexual!
    So, why do you care what others think? Is it because there's a stigma attached to being gay or bi, or is it because it makes it harder to date? Personally, I hate it when people assume I'm a lesbian, but that's because it means men won't flirt with me. If it didn't interfere with my dating, I couldn't care less what people assume about my sexuality.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  19. #44
    life is a journey Mitch23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jess(SO) View Post
    okay,
    many of us GG's have actually (before we discovered your cding) have stumbled across gay sites/chatrooms that you have visited on the net .. and I am one of those.
    Secondly so many have lied even when first questioned about those sites and other things before you first came out to us ..... if you have lied about that what else have you lied about ???.
    3rdly so many continue to visit the same/similar sites. Then there are the lengths so many will go to to hide their online activity ........ it sure as heck don't gve us room to believe what we hear from you, and so if your partners are having trouble believing what they hear, why should mr/mrs average believe any different.

    Then there are the many threads of the type " .....do you dream of being with a man when dressed", ....HELLO and you wonder why society in general equate cding with bi/gay tendancies.

    Those are just my thoughts and questions, just my 0.02
    yes before i came here, i belonged to a contact site which had a cd section. i had some very interesting replies and met one or two nice friends through it. but mitch is quite a genteel little girl and is not about to give her honour away that easily!

    mitch

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptLex View Post
    Not necessarily true of ALL gays, bis and hetero CDs. Not everyone is going to fit the mold of whatever group they belong to.


    So, why do you care what others think? Is it because there's a stigma attached to being gay or bi, or is it because it makes it harder to date? Personally, I hate it when people assume I'm a lesbian, but that's because it means men won't flirt with me. If it didn't interfere with my dating, I couldn't care less what people assume about my sexuality.
    Agreed, not everybody fits the mold, but the majority of male gays and bis (CD or not) act differently in public from the majority of straight males (CDs or not). I care, because THAT'S NOT WHO I AM. I like girls, period. And, as you admitted it yourself, IT DOES INTERFERE WITH MY DATING, big time.

    For god sakes, don't you realize how "rude", agressive and "coarse" I am when I write? Would you ever think a gay or bisexual guy would write like a jerk, just as I do? Gimme some credit, please! LOL

  21. #46
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laugh

    Quote Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
    For god sakes, don't you realize how "rude", agressive and "coarse" I am when I write? Would you ever think a gay or bisexual guy would write like a jerk, just as I do? Gimme some credit, please! LOL
    If you've never met a crude, aggressive gay or bi guy (you're lucky) or a hetero that isn't that way . . . you need to get out more.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  22. #47
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Guess if you don't want to be mistaken for something your not then maybe you need to find a different hobby, one with more clearcut definitions? Hehe Fishing? Cycling? Ice hockey? Star Trek fanatic? At least with cycling you could still wear spandex.... But then again it would be hard to tell if you were hetro or not.. Lol

    Guess you could always try Not Giving a S**t what other people think... As a fall back position maybe??

    Works for me...

    :D

    Love Karren
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  23. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by MsJanessa View Post
    What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.
    Thanks for representing, Janessa!

  24. #49
    Junior Member Caroline's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
    Agreed, not everybody fits the mold, but the majority of male gays and bis (CD or not) act differently in public from the majority of straight males (CDs or not).
    It is easy to make such a claim, but I would be interested to see what credible evidence, if any, you have to support your contention.

    Furthermore, I find it interesting that you are concerned when you are categorised as something you maintain that you are not, yet are apparently quite happy to make an unsubstantiated claim that the majority of gays, bis, heteros, and CDs act differently from each other in non-sexual situations.

    I care, because THAT'S NOT WHO I AM. I like girls, period. And, as you admitted it yourself, IT DOES INTERFERE WITH MY DATING, big time.
    Has it ever crossed your mind that your lack of success in the dating department may have absolutely nothing to do with you CDing? It certainly hasn't restricted me in any way, but then I am open about my CDing with any woman I am interested in.

    For god sakes, don't you realize how "rude", agressive and "coarse" I am when I write? Would you ever think a gay or bisexual guy would write like a jerk, just as I do? Gimme some credit, please! LOL
    Clearly that is meant as a joke, but it is in questionable taste and some may find it as discomfiting or offensive as you do when girls/women categorise you as gay/bi.

    Frankly, I fail to see what your problem is apart from being someone who does not believe that he is as successful at dating as he would like to be.

  25. #50
    Member Cindyloo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
    I'll tell you my opinion about this first, and then I expect to receive opinions from you all.

    My opinion is, society wrongly equals someone being feminine to someone wanting to be taken sexually, as a woman. Society considers it is impossible for a "feminine" male, to act and function both socially and sexually as a male. They always associate wanting to be beautiful and sexy, especially by wearing "prohibited" women's clothing, to liking men, as well as wanting to act and feel like a woman all the time (much less of a "real" man, but "acting" as a man for social convenience, for power and position).

    And I say this by experience, because I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past that thought this way even though they clearly experienced my maleness, by having sex with me when we both were super-sexily dressed in lingerie. They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated against by society.

    What do you people think?
    I think we had the same girlfriends. Most people do assume that if you are a man with fem qualities you MUST be gay. Society has grown up to believe that a man has to be macho with manly traits. Your not a man if you display any type of feminine signs. It's a shame that we have to hide our feminine side to be a man. I believe a complete man is one that can express both his feminine side as well as his manly side without prejudice. I do display some feminity when I am out as a guy and do get smirks and gawks from both sex's at times, but I just say **** them. I'm happy for who I am.


    Cindy

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