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Thread: How do you feel about women?

  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    I think you'd find a lot of those also deeply rooted into (NOT GAY) as well.
    These are the Guys you'll find in park restroom getting a fix.

    Quote Originally Posted by GBJoker View Post
    Dawn

    I feel like I suddenly have to attatch a massive neon sign flashing the words "Warning, Warning!" at the top of every one my posts.

    Based on my experiences with the people I have interacted with in the past five years, a feminist is some one who wants female supremacy and domination. .
    I know what you mean. These women have what you call "control issues". They just want too control you and have you at attention. If you meet a woman w/ this issue, you don't have too live with it or her just because it's your first piece of ass. That would be "pussywhipped".

    Quote Originally Posted by GBJoker View Post
    The reason I would dump a girl, or guy for that matter, who masturbated while dating me is simultaneously simple and complex. I do not know how to make a person happy. I don't know what presents are acceptable in this society. I don't know what acts are acceptable. I am physically incapable of comprehending what I can do to make a person happy in a relationship.
    Dude, your dreaming. We as men are not all that. Just because she wants a toy doesn't mean you've failed at a relationship. Or,is there something else your not telling us regarding your "build" that you feel that women will disown you because it?
    Last edited by MysticLady; 07-26-2013 at 04:40 PM.

  2. #52
    Aspiring Member Leona's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ErinSassyPants View Post
    I find myself wondering what effect dressing like, presenting as or feeling inside yourself to be a woman has on your feelings about and views of women.

    So my questions are

    How do you think you see women differently now than you did before you had the experiences you now have(dressing, presenting to the public as female, transitioning etc)?
    Absolutely no difference at all. I already had a great deal of respect for what women put themselves through to be pretty, and I already had a solid feeling of equality with women and I desire to see that feeling encoded into law. I already loved women as they are, with or without hair on their legs, chins, and wherever else, with or without makeup, etc. And I was already strongly attracted to, shall we say, less mainstream women (including not only physical size but also what's between her ears). And I had already rejected all of the stereotypes and misogyny built in to our society.

    How do you think you see women differently than cismales?
    I generally like women more than men. Of my closest friends, only two are men. The women definitely outnumber the men. Around where I live, cisgender males are quite likely to also be male chauvinist pigs, and I really can't stand being around such people, whether they're male or female.

    Is there something you admire more about women because of your experiences?
    Not so much admire as envy. I'm envious that women get to be women all the time and nobody really has a problem with that, except the aforementioned male chauvinist pigs.

    Do you consider yourself a feminist? and if so how much do you think that is because of your experiences as feminine/female?
    I used to. More recently I've determined I'm not really a feminist anymore because my eyes have opened to the ways that women get superior treatment over men, particularly when it comes to abusive relationships, getting out of them, and getting medical help dealing with them. So now I think I'm more of a humanist: all people should have the same rights.

  3. #53
    GG SO of CD ErinSassyPants's Avatar
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    I swear I left a perfectly nice thread right here just last night...

    Corinne, I totally agree about the gentleman stuff and the be a man which of course equals don't be gay! We are harming our boys and our men immeasurably in ways far less people examine than how we are harming our girls and women.

    GBJoker, I know you said you have left the thread, if you happen back by I just wanted to introduce myself. Hello, I'm Erin and I'm a feminist. I don't want to dominate the world I only want to dominate...oh sorry wrong forum to be serious though I and the feminists I know have zero desire to have more than equal rights. Most of us are mothers and sisters and daughters and we have no interest in putting our sons and brothers and fathers and friends in the position of dealing with what we are currently dealing with. But I don't mind if you have issues with the term feminist, you are not alone. I can't tell you how often I hear people say "I am for equal rights but I'm not a feminist or anything" I don't understand that sentence but I understand that the media and maybe (I've never met women as you describe them and I meet alot of feminists) a few women who portray feminism as being about something besides equal rights for everyone. So if the word doesn't work for you that's ok. If you believe that people are equal without regard to their gender then I think that is more than many people can say.
    Erin
    I wear the sassypants in the family.

    “The greatest obstacle to connecting
    with our joy is resentment.”
    ~ Pema Chödrön ~

    A Guide to Overcoming Envy

  4. #54
    Just can't help myself! Brenda456's Avatar
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    I like women. Wouldn't mind being one.

  5. #55
    Member kathtx's Avatar
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    Yes, I'm a feminist. But since the word "feminist" seems to mean different things to different people, here's what I mean by it. It's about respecting people of both genders as individuals. I don't think anyone, male or female, should be forced into narrow roles on account of their gender. I think people should be treated respectfully in the workplace, regardless of gender. I think salaries should be set by performance and value of contribution, not by gender. Women, and men, should have the option of full-time careers, staying at home with the kids, or a part-time mix of both, and that choice may change with time. Not all women will make the same choice, but we should value the work they do regardless of whether it's running a company, flying an airplane, teaching a class, or raising a kid. Same goes for men. The right way to understand this is that some *people* want to run companies or teach kindergarten, raise kids or fly airplanes, become secretaries or become surgeons, and we should respect that choice regardless of the person's gender.

    To a feminist, women are not better than men, nor are they worse. Women and men are different in many ways, similar in even more ways, but they both should have equal rights and equal voice in society, at work, and in a family.

    To a feminist, women have the same rights to sexual expression as men. We should stop sending the message that it's a healthy part of growing up for men to sow some wild oats while simultaneously sl**-shaming sexually active women.

    In short, to a feminist, women are people. "Humanism" might be a better word, but that already means something else (though I'm a "humanist" in that sense too).

    For those who don't agree with feminism, I'm not going to get dragged into an argument about it here. This isn't the setting, and I don't have time for an extended argument. I will recommend the book "The Gender Knot" by Alan Johnson for a discussion of why its in the best interests of men, as well as women, to support feminism. For an eloquent one-line explanation of why it's in everyone's interest to be feminists, I'll paraphrase the poet A.D. Hope to say it's folly to think we can expect a servile womb to breed free men.

  6. #56
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GBJoker View Post
    Based on my experiences with the people I have interacted with in the past five years, a feminist is some one who wants female supremacy and domination.
    Ah, OK. So then we are just disagreeing about terminology. Your definition of feminist is no better than the worst kind of misogynist male and I too wouldn't support that. The reason I think people get less upset about it coming from women is that women are starting from a disadvantage IMO and need to be louder and more forceful than men to assert their rights and equality.

  7. #57
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    My answer is no to all the questions except the last one when I would say yes I am a feminist. Sometimes that word is associated with militancy and extremism to the point where some women even deny they are feminist. But you can't be anything other than a feminist if you believe that women shouldn't be expected live their lives in a way that would be never be expected from a man. The fact is that despite considerable progress in the western world, women still suffer disadvantages that men never face. I get irritated hearing from white heterosexual males complaining how tough a time they're having and calling themselves a minority. Please!!!!

    So if I was to suggest there was one thing I would admire about women it's their ability to get on with it in the face of difficulty and having to dilute their expectations and dreams in order to deal with the practical reality of life. Men often seem to have their heads in the clouds.

  8. #58
    Member Sister Rachel's Avatar
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    Since I became less closeted (and worried) about my CDing/ gender identity issues, I've certainly become more sharply aware of the gulf which exists between masculine and feminine social norms, because I have been observing women as "people rather like me", rather than a separate section of humanity ( huwomanity?).
    It's recently become clear to me that women have the harder task in life, fortunately they also have the inner strength to cope with it ( I am, of course, dealing in huge generalizations here).

    On a lighter note, I am now amazed by the nimbleness and dexterity of the female hand .. I find coping with "hooks and eyes", the clips on suspender belts, the small and strangely positioned zips in skirts and dresses a real challenge,and I'm not a clumsy "banana-fingered" bloke/ blokess, I'm a guitarist!

    There's no "specific experience" here, just developing awareness, I think.

    I don't know what a "cismale" is? .. .. I think I see women differently to the way most of the men I work with do .. I don't join in with sexist "banter" and try to stand up for girls who are subjected to it, but then most seem to know how to fight their own battles!

    Do I consider myself a feminist? .. um .. well .. I was brought up in the 60s and 70s by a stepmother who might have (or at least then would have been) described as a militant fundamentalist feminist, and for a teenaged boy ( albeit one worried that "he" was really a "she") it wasn't a good experience! .. but, yeah, all power to the gentler sex, if that makes sense?
    It's complicated, then again it's simple ... where did I put that skirt?

  9. #59
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Cismale is just short for cisgendered male, and cisgender basically means your birth sex matches your gender identity.

  10. #60
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Next best thing to looking and interacting with them... Is being one!
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

    http://youtu.be/kR7NlgwVHHg

  11. #61
    wishing on a star! Rebecca Star's Avatar
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    The "us and them" debate starts again. Seriously, both sexes in this day and age experience discrimination. None of this will change until the world (errr...people), place and accept both sexes on an equal footing.


    hugs

    x

    Rebecca Star

    PS where does "Mast*****e"come into this? Always like these threads, they always go somewhere you'd never think possible.
    Last edited by Rebecca Star; 07-28-2013 at 10:12 PM.
    ~ it's not how the world sees you but how you see yourself that counts ~
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  12. #62
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Unfortunately if you're bio male you get really gross things happening if you don't m/b at least once in a while so unless you're getting tonnes of sex you'll run into problems.

  13. #63
    Aspiring Member Brooklyn's Avatar
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    I know what feels feminine to me, but still have lots to learn about what being a woman is like. CDing got me interested in hair and makeup, and now I’m surrounded by women all day! I hear frank conversations about sex, birth control, jerk boyfriends and husbands, child care, aging parents, and everyday realities women deal with. I admire how well women form relationships and how resilient many can be.

    I’ve also experienced being hit on by creeps, grabbed, assaulted, as well as some of the more pleasant aspects of presenting as female.
    I’m probably more fond of women and more deferential to them than typical cismales. ‘Would gladly get paid $0.80 on the dollar if I could magically transform into a GG, even though I’d seriously have to curb my makeup addiction.
    Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

  14. #64
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    What Ashley said.

    I do enjoy getting pedicures in my favorite color, I always feel like I'm on the exclusive Team F instead of Team M.

    Women rock!.....sometimes I want to be one. I don't know why, I just do.

  15. #65
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebecca Star View Post
    PS where does "Mast*****e"come into this? Always like these threads, they always go somewhere you'd never think possible.
    No idea but it was from an earlier post about not wanting a partner to engage in it.

  16. #66
    GG SO of CD ErinSassyPants's Avatar
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    I'm really enjoying many of these posts, thank you all for sharing.
    Erin
    I wear the sassypants in the family.

    “The greatest obstacle to connecting
    with our joy is resentment.”
    ~ Pema Chödrön ~

    A Guide to Overcoming Envy

  17. #67
    Senior Member Amanda M's Avatar
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    I find that dressing produces in me a mental state in which I seem to have a heightened awarenes of things feminine, including social attitudes. Experience has taught me that this also means being less combative, more open to discussion and slows me down to the speed of life. That being the case, I think dressing does influence my view of women in general.

    Broad generalizations are misleading, but here goes. I seem to view women - and have done for years - as more emotionally mature than most men. I notice too, that they seem to have á much greater level of empathy with others, and ability to compromise, and a surprising resilience and staying power. All of these qualities are admirable as far as I am concerned.

    Am I a feminist? I do not know. Suffice it to say that any discrimination of ANY grounds makes me uneasy, and the abuse of power in any form does get be angry.

    Such a good thread to follow, this one! Very illuminating.
    If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!

  18. #68
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    Hi Erin, I've been dressing for 66yrs. I've always loved the women dressed .
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  19. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by ErinSassyPants View Post
    Do you consider yourself a feminist? and if so how much do you think that is because of your experiences as feminine/female?
    I've learned not to touch questions about feminism on the internet with a ten foot pole, mostly because of all the 'civil unrest' on the internet about this subject. A lot of it comes from twelve-year-olds (figuratively speaking) of the white straight male category, thinking that just because they don't see the problem it isn't there. Anyway, sometimes, the amounts of ignorance and idiocy are just too big to even bother doing something about it.

    In one sentence, I believe that all human beings deserve equal rights and opportunities. Nature made us what we are and there's no denying that there are differences between man and woman biologically/physically, which may also have an effect on how we behave. Still, probably needless to say on this forum, our biological makeup or our physical form does not define who we are, what we may become or what we can do. Humans have surpassed that stage a long time ago, probably around the time we learned to make fire and use tools if you catch my gist..

    As for the more 'political aspect' of feminism, I would love to support their cause as a man, but that seems contradictory. I can try to hold the door open to them like a true gentleman, but what I probably should do is get out of the way and let women open the door for themselves.

  20. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zylia View Post
    As for the more 'political aspect' of feminism, I would love to support their cause as a man, but that seems contradictory. I can try to hold the door open to them like a true gentleman, but what I probably should do is get out of the way and let women open the door for themselves.
    Speaking from experiences w/ the wife. They want equality but "also" want the old school on how too be treated. Want the cake and eat it too, comes too mind. A woman that wants equal rights will go out there and mingle w/ men in a manner that "she's equal and not subservient" but wants to be cuddled, caressed, admired, and "treated like a Lady". If you want too be treated like a Lady, then act like one.

  21. #71
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    I find the whole 'holding the door open' controversy puzzling. I hold the door open for everyone, male, young or old and same is done for me. It's politeness not a political or cultural statement. It's not just door holding it's a general attitude of civility and politeness to everyone we encounter. It's what we all should seek for the society we live in. It's not a male female thing. The actions and attitude of extremists whether they be misogynists or over zealous feminists should not be considered normal.

  22. #72
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    It's not only about actually opening doors for women, it's a metaphor for a host of things society as a whole can do to help women (specifically) advance in their lives. You can open a door for a lady and probably no-one gets hurt in the process, but it's a great example of a symptom of this 'patriarchal' society we (used to) live in, in which women need to be caressed and taken care of by men. I can't really speak for any woman, but it all seems rather paradoxical, probably something I would struggle with if I were in their shoes (metaphorical speaking again of course). That's why I feel kind of helpless when it comes to feminism. For men, it's a complete catch-22 situation.

    And yes, I open the door for anyone too.

  23. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zylia View Post
    You can open a door for a lady and probably no-one gets hurt in the process, but it's a great example of a symptom of this 'patriarchal' society we (used to) live in, in which women need to be caressed and taken care of by men.
    Hi Zylia

    Then why, do I, keep reading posts and threads about women freaking out over guys wearing dresses, nail polish, don't embarrass me or the kids, we're a partnership but, I still want my man to be a man, yaddi, yaddi, yaddi.

  24. #74
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    Don't ask me, ask them

    At gunpoint I probably would have said that western civilization as a whole isn't nearly as far with this whole 'equality' thing as we all think. It's not just that there are too few women in boards of directors, inequality is ingrained in our culture and that's probably why everyone is OK with the more harmless examples of inherent unequal behavior. But that's my two cents as a genetic guy with nothing but my own meandering experience.

    You know what really scares me? In a dystopian future where everyone is equal, there's no more crossdressing because every kind of attire is acceptable for everyone

  25. #75
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    I've always though of women as equals. You treat each other with respect. The caveman days of dragging them into your man cave is over.

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