Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: I am a lost married cross dresser

  1. #1
    New Member Fancypants's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Ky
    Posts
    5

    I am a lost married cross dresser

    I have been married over 40 yrs. We raised our kids. All along she knew I crossed dress. She played along with it sometimes but now we don't share. We do what she wants. I like ladies I can share my feelings. I have even wanted to take hormones but don' t know the 1st step.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member ronda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    southeastern Pa
    Posts
    884
    sounds like you need to sit down and have a long talk with your SO and discuss your feeling with her and find out where she is with what you want to do. hrt is a serious thing to think about best i can say is talk to your doctor about that get to know the side affects first then if you still want to do that move foward with your doctor to advise you Hugs Ronda
    hugs
    Ronda

  3. #3
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    5,924
    Quote Originally Posted by ronda View Post
    sounds like you need to sit down and have a long talk with your SO and discuss your feeling with her and find out where she is with what you want to do. hrt is a serious thing to think about best i can say is talk to your doctor about that get to know the side affects first then if you still want to do that move foward with your doctor to advise you Hugs Ronda
    Agreed! See a gender therapist to see where you're really at with all of this. Keep your wife in the loop.

  4. #4
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Shopping at the mall, in the Pacific NW USA
    Posts
    2,088
    I agree with everyone else, your wife and you need to discuss all of the issues that are going on. If you aren't communicating, she might think that everything is fine.

    Good luck!
    Dana Ryan

  5. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    8,393
    You have been married for over 4o years, then you must be getting close to 60 something. Going all the way at this stage in life is not impossible, but a little
    hard on the body.
    Have a talk with your wife and your doctor together; maybe you will get a strait answer as what you can and cannot do.
    Rader

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jacqueline Winona's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    1,051
    A step at a time, friend. You bring up three or four importnat things to consider, fancypants. 1) You have dressed with her knowledge but now she isn't interested in participating. This seems to be pretty common, but if you still can dress, with her knowledge if not her participation, you're still better off than most. 2) Not sure if the dressing is related to the fact that you do only what your wife wants to do, but that could be a very big problem. Is what you want to do related to dressing all the time? If so, then try to think of other htings to do as acouple. Is she just insisting on her way, even if dressing has nothing to do with it? If so, you need to let her know how this bothers you. 3) You found the right place to share your thoughts! 4) Hormones suggests you really need to think about what you want- are you feeling like you're in the wrong body? Do you really want to change your body? Think about these things, then talk to her about it.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Posts
    43,781
    Hi FP, One thing to think about is, Is this going to wreck your marrage is that something that you are ready for at your age.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  8. #8
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    South Western PA
    Posts
    24,704
    So a show of hands.... who has been married 30 plus years and doesn't do "what she wants"? lol.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    Like others have suggested, you may be well served by having a conversation with your wife....make that more than one. She can't read your mind and you can't read her's. But before you start talking, do some research. There are a number of threads here on how to talk with your SO about CDing. Start there and begin to appreciate the kinds of issues, objections and fears that are likely to come up. And be prepared to answer these questions.

  10. #10
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Here,There,Anywhere
    Posts
    457
    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    So a show of hands.... who has been married 30 plus years and doesn't do "what she wants"? lol.
    Karren
    You Rebel.

    Fancypants
    Friction is sometimes good in a relationship but must be handled with kid gloves, Your wife comes first always. Sit down and disscuss your feelings for her and your respect for her and then share your feelings with her.

    Wishing you peace of mind

    Thera

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member kendra_gurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    673
    Karen I am always the boss at my house as long as the wife is away at the time..42 years and counting

  12. #12
    Girl underconstruction Paulette's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Northern Calif.
    Posts
    1,533
    OK ladies just to set the record straight, I wear the pants in my house(men wear trousers) and I am the boss, because my said I could call my self that. I also run the house ,the vacuum,dishwasher, and the washing machine. I to have 43 years and yes, Karen my hand is up in fact both are in the air in answer to your question.
    Just and older girl trying to experience all that life can bring.
    "Life is not a dress rehearsal"

  13. #13
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    South Western PA
    Posts
    24,704
    Quote Originally Posted by kendra_gurl View Post
    Karen I am always the boss at my house as long as the wife is away at the time..42 years and counting
    and she gave you a noterizied note... lol.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  14. #14
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    NW Washington State
    Posts
    2,898
    [SIZE="4"]This is another of those threads that sort of confuse me. Like is there a question here? Is the question about HRT, or about a relationship going downhill? Or both? Or just a rant to get attention?

    About the only thing I can address here is the statement "We do what she wants". Stand up to your wife and be a man. Take charge and problem solve. Don't be selfish, and also don't let her be selfish either. Most of all, be the man she fell in love with rather than the wimp who begs her to dress up like a girl. Look at that one from her point of view. No wonder she has taken charge herself, you can't be trusted to lead.
    [/SIZE]

  15. #15
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    11,799
    Quote Originally Posted by Fancypants View Post
    I have been married over 40 yrs. We raised our kids. All along she knew I crossed dress. She played along with it sometimes but now we don't share.
    Stop and think "what did it do for her?" Did it gain her anything but you dressing, doing YOUR thing and then having a snack or falling asleep? I may be totally off base here but on average the guys who do this tend to be sort of self centered. They want it THEIR way. Now..
    We do what she wants.
    That happens after you have your way for years.
    I like ladies I can share my feelings.
    Then I suggest you start sharing. See most the posts above. When you don't talk you don't share.

    Now this is the real kicker.
    I have even wanted to take hormones but don' t know the 1st step.
    And THIS is why when GGs come to this site they freak out and have concerns. You are not a cross dresser if you want hormones, you are a transsexual (although I have doubts there too...somehow I believe all you really want is boobs. or you somehow believe that if you are on hormones you will magically turn into a woman). What do you want from your wife? Do you want a wife? Or do you want someone who will play your games with you? BTW the first step in hormones is knowing that they are not reversible. When you go and get changes, you get to keep those changes. This is the classic GG worry...she didn't marry a woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn Marie View Post

    About the only thing I can address here is the statement "We do what she wants". Stand up to your wife and be a man. Take charge and problem solve. Don't be selfish, and also don't let her be selfish either. Most of all, be the man she fell in love with rather than the wimp who begs her to dress up like a girl. Look at that one from her point of view. No wonder she has taken charge herself, you can't be trusted to lead.
    Although I agree with the sentiment this will lead to a bigger train wreck than the "I wanna dress up". You don't force your partner to do anything. It is not what a marriage "is". Turning the tables won't help and will likely just widen the chasm (or poor FP will be back next week telling us how her wife of 40 years is now her EX-wife). The man she fell in love with liked dressing. That was stated. I am trying real hard to stay away from what was described as "misandry" in another thread. Why would being gruff, macho and forceful be the correct move here? That is virtually what most TGs here are trying to get away from.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  16. #16
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Here,There,Anywhere
    Posts
    457
    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn Marie View Post
    [SIZE="4"]This is another of those threads that sort of confuse me. Like is there a question here? Is the question about HRT, or about a relationship going downhill? Or both? Or just a rant to get attention?

    About the only thing I can address here is the statement "We do what she wants". Stand up to your wife and be a man. Take charge and problem solve. Don't be selfish, and also don't let her be selfish either. Most of all, be the man she fell in love with rather than the wimp who begs her to dress up like a girl. Look at that one from her point of view. No wonder she has taken charge herself, you can't be trusted to lead.
    [/SIZE]
    Lynn Marie
    You are so right. Take charge of the situation and put your foot down.
    Now, that this little problem is handled let go blow something up

    Thera

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member TeresaL's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    666
    Quote Originally Posted by Thera Home View Post
    Lynn Marie
    You are so right. Take charge of the situation and put your foot down.
    Now, that this little problem is handled let go blow something up

    Thera
    I only got help when I took a stand. Still have to have talks, though.

  18. #18
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,842
    My goodness, Fancy! I can't imagine ANYONE who's been married NOT thinking, "Over 40 years together? That's AMAZING!"

    You've done your duty, raised your kids, been a good, faithful hubby, (I assume). If u want to do your own thing now, with the few healthy years u have left, why shouldn't u?

    Is there a SUPER SAINT here willing to throw the first stone? I certainly HOPE NOT!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    Member max's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    246
    Nm not gonna discuss that here.
    Last edited by max; 08-02-2012 at 02:17 AM.
    “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

    Mary Anne Radmacher

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State