Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 88

Thread: Having Urges to be sexual with men

  1. #1
    New Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    3

    Having Urges to be sexual with men

    I have been crossdressing for many years and have urges to be with a man and experience the female side of sex but have suppressed ituntil now. The urges are getting greater but I don't know how or where to go to experince the affair I am looking for. Any help out there? Jennifer

  2. #2
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    4,410
    You don't know how or where?

    How did you go about having sex with women? Where did you go to find a sex partner previously? I think those would be the place to start.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    NY & PA
    Posts
    9,797
    Hi Jennifer! I have read and realize that for many, it is a fantasy that some do choose to live out. Only thing that i can say is that be careful, use protection, and it may not be what the fantasy actually is, and sometimes, the fantasy should remain just that...a fantasy. I did notice that you put in a previous post years ago that you are "bi" so i am kind of confused here...

  4. #4
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Southeast WI.
    Posts
    2,624
    Jennifer all kind of sites out there. Google crossdressers admirers or alterative lifestyles. You should find something.

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,842
    Jenn, most of us have had fantasies of being a woman with a man. Mine confused me for years. I thot I had suddenly turned gay!

    But, parts is parts. That's how I worked it out. I was attracted to the idea of being a woman at the mercy of a man. But, NOT attracted to male parts! I was simply a straight crossdresser off fantasizing!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    A Sweet Girl Roxanne Lanyon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    North East Georgia
    Posts
    359
    Oh, Lord! I too have those fantasies at times! Sometimes I feel I want to belong to a sweet man and make him so happy, maybe as my husband! Oh, what do I do?
    Roxanne
    As Sweet As I Can Ever Be

  7. #7
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Madison AL
    Posts
    3,854
    I too have thought of this fantasy but quickly realize I can never feel all the feelings of a woman because I an neither physically or mentally totally wired as a woman. With out that, then I can NEVER totally feel all a woman feels. So the fantasy stays a fantasy.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  8. #8
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,017
    As others have said, many have these fantasies. Does looking at a man's body get you sexually excited so it could be seen? If not, then it probably is just a fantasy that you want a man to treat you like a woman, but not to have sex with them.
    Hugs, Ellen

  9. #9
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,192
    Hmmmm.
    What are you doing Friday night, Jen?

    ..... just kidding.
    Hey, I completely understand. These feelings are common. I have them. Don't act on it....especially if you're in a marriage or relationship.
    If you are looking for a first time experience or to hook up, please be careful out there. I have a few gay bars (mostly a lesbian bar) I frequent from time to time, and it's a fine safe place. But bars, IMO, are horrible places to develop a relationship or find someone suitable to fairly & decently entertain your experiment.
    Good luck.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  10. #10
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    San Francisco Peninsula
    Posts
    1,661

    There's a lot to think about

    I followed up all those urges in my 20s, and am glad I did. Mostly my partners were just nice sweet guys and I am super happy to draw on those experiences- as the memories are enough so i know what it is like and can more easily forgo it now and relive the moments in my fantasies.

    Years later I realized how incredibly fortunate I was to have unknowingly played Russian roulette with AIDs so many times and won. There are lots more STDs now and I wouldn't take that chance again. So protection is super important, even with highbrow partners. You really have to get to know someone before you have a clear idea about STD potential. This is a drag, since it unprotected sex is really what delivers the intimate fleshly pleasures and lets us feel what we are seeking.
    The bad part is that the sexual satisfaction we want so badly doesn't last- we want to do it again, to repeat, or to change this or that. But in one night stands we are betting against some serious odds. After the STD risks became known, I made a promise to myself not to expose myself again, but placing myself in temptation, my promise vanished. Afterwards, I lived in serious dread for months, having risked trading off my health and ability to partner with a future wife and have a family, for what was less than a minute of fantasy fulfillment. That cured me of thinking with my arousal hormones.

    The other big thing is that real human being men have feelings, and objectifying people as sex objects really isn't satisfying. If you have had sex with women, think of the complications. Much of the experience with men will be the same- the dance of communicating intent beforehand, the misunderstandings, the awkward parts, the pain, the confusion of sensations, the newness, the messiness, the after its over awkward parts, and more importantly, the shall we see each other again, and the fact that it usually isn't a relationship that is going anywhere.

    Yes, I got to be the woman, and it was a deep and impactful experience. But it isn't fun to have a bunch of people in my life that I didn't really know, and where we [even though it was friendly and uncomplicated at the time] used each other, and now I have to forever depend on them not surfacing again.

    I have discovered to my relief that sex play with toys is more reliably better paced, less complicated, more to the point, and much safer than with real people- if I am looking for emotional role play and sexual satisfaction. It removes the need to use others as sex objects, or be used. And it works well as a sex fantasy practice that is not competing with my real spouse.

    If I were seeking an LTR to hopefully experience what ellbee did, I'd go to gay meetups and outdoor activities and get to know the variety of men. I would take time to develop my awareness of my feelings, enjoy friendships first and let the sexual part develop in an atmosphere of trust and positive intimacy. That way I could actually have more and better sex, and not succumb to the Russian roulette danger of changing partners all the time.

    I found that generally gay men were not attracted or turned on by my feminine clothes, but gently understood them as symbolic of my wanting to be the feminine partner. That said, i didn't get much time dressed up. I get far more satisfaction in that area just from wearing my dresses out and about and enjoying my flirtatious walk. In my experience the "straight" men looking for sex were conflicted and wanted fast secret sex- I'd choose a gay man who is out and comfortable with himself any day over that option for a relationship.
    Last edited by phili; 10-02-2018 at 02:46 PM.
    We are all beautiful...!

  11. #11
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    Its a fantasy because you are a male and don't have the right parts to feel it as a woman would.
    If you wish to live out your fantasy just be very careful and wear/have him wear protection.
    Sometimes you need to hear its a fantasy and leave it as such.
    If you are gay thats one thing but if you aren't gay why then why?
    If you are thinking you might be gay then you aren't because if you are gay you would know it already.

  12. #12
    its important mykell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    jer-sea shore
    Posts
    4,097
    i would imagine you would have to go to a bar, its hard to trust something like this on-line, in my area they have a meet-up where they let "admirers" attend the functions, some keep the activities private

    Others talk of these urges and when push came to shove it was an unfullfilled fantasy....good luck....
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 10-06-2018 at 04:21 AM. Reason: link removed this is a support forum
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  13. #13
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,756
    Tracii,

    As far whether one knows whether or not they're gay, not picking on you, but weren't you married a couple of times to women?

  14. #14
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Wherever there is a Sale or Macys, but mostly Baltimore MD
    Posts
    3,368
    In a word "Don't", Most spouses will not appreciate having an affair. It's a great way to turn a happy marriage into an expensive divorce.
    Kelly DeWinter
    Find Kelly at:
    Kelly's Blog
    Flicker
    [COLOR=#2e8b57

  15. #15
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    4,912
    I don't mean to offend anybody, but no friggin' way! . But as there are several different "drives" for CDing, Certain types of CDs would be more prone to entertaining such fantasies (or acts) than others. Those that identify as women to a degree, while not actually TS or gay, could, conceivably, consider such things. Those of us who are "escapists" and heterosexuals who are very attracted to the female form might not identify with women and likely would not be attracted to men. So I think a CDer being attracted to men or not is dependent upon what kind of CDer one is.

  16. #16
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    Yes Rhonda Jean I was and it was a mistake both times.
    I always knew deep down it was not "who" I was but we do things to try and live life to societies standards.
    There are plenty of gay men married to women and I'm sure you know that.
    When I "came out" it was the most affirming day of my life because I was finally honest with myself.

  17. #17
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    76
    Hi Jennifer,

    I don't know if you're still married or how accepting your wife/partner is...or if u have any kids or anything... but I would advise against trying to build a sexual relationship with another partner outside of your spouse. My cd husband did so before we got married and it nearly ruined both of our lives (i am not exaggerating).... if you do go down that route... please be very careful and get tested before and after for any STIs .... ive heard people that go to certain fetish events or on fetlife to meet people with similar sexual fantasies...

    Another idea... would your spouse be interested in doing some reverse role playing with you? other than actually finding a man to fulfill your desires?

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    NO! there is no help here in helping you find another mate, I will advise you to work it out with your partner and maybe she is willing to do role reversal with you.

    Hopefully you will find some answer for your fantasy without endangering your health or present relationship.

    If it is only a fantasy it can be a tragic one.
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 10-06-2018 at 04:23 AM. Reason: comment breaks the rules
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  19. #19
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,450
    In New Zealand, we have some nice gay clubs, spa, sauna, gym, pool, "swings", private rooms, gay cinema.
    While nice, and safety is important while at the premises, you're still running a risk
    a) viruses
    b) if your in a relationship, you'll end up carrying a secrete all the time
    c) you might enjoy it so much, it becomes additive.

    They are "wham bang thank you very much mam" shops
    Gay bars, at least you have a chance of a longer term relationship, dinners, movie nights etc.
    My friend has been in a 20 year relationship from such a meet up, he's a "Top" and loves girls like us.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  20. #20
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    pembrokeshire
    Posts
    138
    I also had this fantasy of being with a man and after i had acted on it i wish it had stayed a fantasy did not enjoy it at all

  21. #21
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SW Michigan
    Posts
    3,762
    There are some adult book store type places where there is very casual sex with men and CDs. That's not for me, but I've met men on porn/dating websites. Post pics or videos of yourself as a horny little tramp and you'll get some attention. Most of the men that you attract will be married though. They're looking for sex outside of their marriage but actually getting together with them is hit or miss, mostly miss.
    Last edited by Ressie; 09-28-2018 at 06:54 AM.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  22. #22
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,756
    [QUOTE=Tracii G;4285192]There are plenty of gay men married to women and I'm sure you know that./QUOTE]

    Yep. A good friend of mine was married for nearly 30 years t a woman, now married to a man. His wife knew, too. His story of dealing with being gay and married to a woman, having a family, a close, religious, publicly visible extended family is much like very much like many of our stories of living similar lives as transgender.

  23. #23
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    32
    I have had these urges as well, many times. They seem to come and go like the pink fog. Sometimes the two match up, sometimes not. Last January it was so strong I could barely take it. Eventually for me it went away but in the past I've had a friend who is gay and I've messed around with, mostly just oral sex. It seemed to be exactly what I would need to get it out of my system for awhile and then I wouldn't be thinking about it again and I'd go back to a more heterosexual lifestyle. Weird how that works. Unfortunately he has since moved away so I'm out of that friend with benefits. Oh well.

  24. #24
    Member Read only April T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    137
    I've had the urges and have acted on them. I like to be with men when I am dressed. I like being the pretty one!
    Last edited by April T; 09-28-2018 at 01:42 PM.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,630
    90% of the time, the fantasy will be far more enjoyable than reality. Definitely not something to engage in on a whim. Do you even have any experience with the “mechanics”? Proceed with extreme caution.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State