Quote Originally Posted by SashaHeat View Post
My therapist asked me if there was anything traumatic during the time i started dressing. Absolutely yes. I grew up in a household where there was constant fighting between everyone in my family, culminating with my parents divorcing between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. My father always told me that I was no dammmm good throughout my childhood.
I'd like to give a small warning here. It's easy to look for and find some "cause" for our dressing, but it just might not really be what did it.
And - trying to find a "cause" tends to suggest that there might be a way to "fix" or "cure" it.
Not too likely.


To show you what I'm talking about, take what happened with me:

Like you, I had a father that thought I was no good. He even frequently told me I would never amount to anything.
I remember swearing that when I grew up, I'd be NOTHING like him.
How easy would it be to say that I extended that to mean that I even rejected my own male-ness, or at least masculinity?

BUT

I can remember that I always wanted to be a girl - even before all this started.
And since I can't blame the effect on a cause that hadn't happened yet, I had to think about things again.

Nowadays, I think his hostility toward me was BECAUSE of my 'girly-ness', not the other way around.
I wasn't the rough-and-tumble "chip off the block" he was looking for. I was too soft, too sensitive, too much "like my mother" - and I now believe that he couldn't (or wouldn't) deal with it.