Technically I am a MIAD. However I haven't worn a dress in years. I wear mostly leggings and associated "comfy clothes" like tank tops and tees. Fem jeans and shorts, panties (the only underwear I own) sports bras, padded bras (no forms) I shave my body except for my goatee. I get my nails done on a regular schedule. I identify as male. I just enjoy the clothes that I choose to wear. Am I a CD? Sure. But mostly I'm me.
One of the unspoken things that complicates the discussion is what we mean by the 'man' part of MIAD. I am now a confirmed happy MIAD, because I define man as a broad category- anyone either male anatomically or generally masculine. I think what drives the desire of many of us to want to leave the 'man' part behind is that we feel we want to be free of all the associations with manhood- the rules, expectations, outmoded or negative traits that are allowed for and indulged in by men, etc.
I resolve all this by saying I am a mirl, a male and a man who is also girly frequently. Each of us who likes MIAD basically is ok with being a man and then reaching out to enjoy all that dresses mean to us. We can see that we are men, and yet we want to wear a dress. I found 5 different reasons for me, and each exists without the other, though they interact somewhat.
-sensual: the rustling of the dress hem , the slithering of the bodice lining, etc
-sexual: I love to feel desirable and to emphasize my waist and hips, with clothes signaling my receptivity
-fashion: I love the range of colors and patterns and to be a walking painting
-permission to feel and behave like a woman is allowed to- in nonsexual ways: this is harder to explain, but I can feel it all through my body- more relaxed, energy flows differently, lighter, more aware of all sorts of things
-political: having been bedeviled by being in the closet, I want to blow off the closet doors for everyone and get this whole unnecessary painful constraint over with- worldwide!!! Ok.. just saying
We are all beautiful...!
That's a key for me. All my life I was inclined to laugh louder, cry easier, hug strangers, ask the silly questions, etc. There was no actual reason why I couldn't do those things. I know more enlightened men than myself who can do those things but when I was play-acting a cisgender male I didn't allow myself those things because I was concerned they'd "blow my cover." Now my cover is gone and I can actually let those natural impulses flow -- as they say in the trade, I can be my "authentic self." That's a huge payout -- that's probably the most motivating of all the factors that flushed me out of the closet. (Of course, now I have to learn how to be that person I never allowed myself to be all those years. )
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
Not Me !!
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I am with you Judy Its either all or nothing and I want to be mistaken for a woman.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Minority, different, categorized, unusual, offbeat, odd, peculiar… Society seems to want to categorize everything to make better sense of it in their minds. Sooner or later we all stand out. For better or worse I am who I am, and find good supportive people/friends here. Take care, Brenda
The whole thought of a man wanting to wear a dress is something that can be difficult for some to understand. I can only imagine what it was like for the women of the early 20th century seeking emancipation from the restraints that had been placed on them "forever". Today women in the world are still struggling to get this emancipation that some women now have. Men need emancipation also. True freedom is being able to be who you want to be, but with freedom comes responsibility. We all should be able to dress comfortably as we choose without ridicule, yet remember that there are times and places that some attire may not be appropriate. If you want to dress like a hooker remember that Walmart might not be the place to do it. This sound like common sense, but it's amazing what can be seen in Walmart from both men and women!
Phili, I liked a couple of things you said;
-sensual: the rustling of the dress hem , the slithering of the bodice lining, etc
-fashion: I love the range of colors and patterns and to be a walking painting
-permission to feel and behave like a woman is allowed to- in nonsexual ways: this is harder to explain, but I can feel it all through my body- more relaxed, energy flows differently, lighter, more aware of all sorts of things
(I really get this, to me it's like my senses being more aware, aroused, fine tuned with what is going on around me)
To let yourself go free with how you are feeling at a particular moment, whether it be filling up your senses, or enjoying the fashions that many of us want the total freedom to enjoy. Stop and smell the roses, feel the wind on your skirt and legs. Men rely too much on there sight, they need to be emancipated also, it's just that they don't know it.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Definitely not a MIAD!
When I dress I want to feel and be perceived as a woman. When society sees you as female we are allowed the freedom of expression I crave..
Best Wishes, Paula
Phili,
let me elaborate a little on this and maybe add something:
On my part, I don't want to leave the "man" part behind. As I said before in this thread, I like being a man. I'm fine with providing, protecting, I can do things around the house.
Rather, I would love for all those expectations, rules, obligations etc. not be a part of what it takes to be a man. Many times it feels like you have such a narrow line to walk. Deviate just a little and it's guaranteed that there would always be someone to take you back to the fold. It feels like "you can't be this, this and that, that and those two things there, and oh, forget about this too...
I am sure that I can do everything that the society expects of me as a man, and have demonstrated it many times. Yet why, in light of everything, it it taken away by my wearing women's clothes? Many a female friend told me that she would loose respect for me if I wore a skirt.
I'm with Gilian on that men need emancipation too, it's just many don't know it or realize it.
Funny this topic should come up now. It has probably been six months since I last posted. I am in the process of writing a re-introduction that almost nobody will read. Somewhere below I have included an excerpt from it.
It is hard to determine the number of people who feel this way but I must take issue with their views regarding crossdressing. They feel that "looking like a man wearing a dress is degrading and insulting to crossdressers and hurts our cause to be accepted by the public. Help us by not doing it." I will not out the author, but the content is one of the reasons I stopped participating.
I don't know what makes you better than me. I don't know what makes your cause more important than mine. I never thought you were hurting my cause. Hell, I never knew I had a "cause". But, since you forced me to have one, my cause is to look like a man wearing a dress and be accepted by the public. When you pretend to be the opposite sex, I do not consider it degrading and insulting to me, a crossdresser, and I would never ask you to not do it. For some people here, the all inclusive crossdressing umbrella is very small.
This is pretty simple, a man wearing women's clothing is a crossdresser. Pretend I want to blend in while shopping at the mall. I put on a pair of women's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and even a wig. I am blending in but could have looked almost the same in men's shorts and t-shirt, full makeup and a wig. That means crossdressing in public is all about wearing makeup and wigs? That makes no sense.
I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.
Tracy, welcome back!
Your point is quite right. Those of us who are not fully "en-femme" / do not try to pass are still part of this community & it is a shame if a very small number think that we are somehow not real members simply because we do not fit their ideal.
Since i joined the forum i have not noticed any particular comments like this and have always felt welcome here, so hopefully this was an isolated example.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter what "category" we fit into. What is important is that we can be who we really are.
"The only way is onward. There is no turning back."
Lucy23 wrote:
Many a female friend told me that she would loose respect for me if I wore a skirt.
Why lose respect? I don't lose respect of countless women wearing trousers, I don't like it but still respect them.
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
Very well said Tracy & Nic.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
I wish I knew. Their reply was more along the lines of "Because..." and couldn't seem to muster up any logical explanation. That is not to say I would disrespect that they don't like it at all.
A couple of weeks ago I was at a local variety shop when I saw a young fellow wearing a small black skirt and what I think were very colourful tights or leggings. He acted very natural and unconcerned.
Then two days later I saw him again skateboarding on the sidewalk near my shop, similarly dressed. Obviously a miad!
I wish we had more trailblazers like him!
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
Since I posted this thread I have been reading many posts where someone expresses similar ideas. I usually suggest to them that they are really miads. I am also encouraged by the replies to this post both posititve and some not so, but still civil. We have a great community here.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
Tracy Irving wrote:
I guarantee I can blend in with the public better as a guy in women's clothing than a guy in women's clothing, makeup and a wig. I just won't be what you want me to be. But, I will be happy.
Very interesting observation, and I wish I had the nerve to do it.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
Transgender is the umbrella term for what everyone is that dresses like the opposite sex
,wears makeup, performers
, drag queens, gender ****s,panty boys, gender queer,sissies,Crossdressers, transvestites.......(Miads)
If you are non gender conforming you are a Transgender, that includes the invented term "miads". A skirt is not a dress and the kid is a Transvestite because he wears clothing only. He is under the Umbrella.
Last edited by dynastycarol; 09-06-2017 at 11:36 PM.
Salerba I guess in a loose definition I am I prefer skirts to dresses, but more or less the same thing. For almost 2 months outside of work I wore nothing but skirts.
Andronous makes who look better then many pretty women.
You see them modeling and performing sometimes as show girls.
If you get out like I do you will know about the many transgenders in different stages that look so real that most don't know.
We say they look fishy!
Girl she looks lovely like fish.
Phili,
What drives me is AGP , it's not so much wanting to shake of the male side as wanting to be seen and accepted as a woman. it's why MIAD doesn't work for me , OK the literal translation is to love yourself as a woman but there is more to it than that.
My integration is gradually happening which will finally be complete when I move into my new home. I know there will have to occasions when the appearance of a man has to return but it still won't be an in between state.
im ok with the crossdresser definition for myself but if 'miad' is more you than go do that.
Thank you for posting the graphic. I was going to type something similar, but you and the visual aid said it better.
Just for the record, I am not a MIAD, but I have no problem whatsoever with the OP's description of his lifestyle. It's right for him, and that's what is important. It's a great big, wonderful world out there, and like the song says, "you gotta go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do, with whoever you wanna do it with."
This is the first time I have noticed your Post. AND you hit me right on....I must admit
that I am a "MIAD" and have a mustache also.
I never thought of what you call a MIAD, but it fits. I do not go out of the house dressed,
I do under dress all the time, and wear Fem Jeans. I wear a bra, because I fill our a "B"
cup very well.
Thanks for finding me, Now I know where I stand.
Rader