Had interesting conversation at dinner.
My wife (K) says "I was kinda freaked out last night", and I was like "well, yeah, but you'd had a hard day and a session with your therapist, and you weren't sleeping. So it was to be expected."
K: "So we don't have to talk about this stuff every day?"
P: "Nope, let's not mention it"
So then she totally starts asking me questions:
K: "So what'd you buy the other day, no pants right? You didn't buy anything pink did you?"
P: "I bought some jeans, cargos, a couple of capris, and some tops, a couple pink, one orange, one blue, and some sandals."
K: "I thought you'd buy skirts?"
P: "I may exchange something for a skirt and a blouse - I thought about that."
K: "wasn't that weird? I guess they thought you were shopping for someone else?"
P: "Nah, they knew it was for me, I got a fitting room. I don't care what people think. The SA was nice - I called first to make sure it wouldn't bother anyone."
K: "Well, that was nice of you to call."
P: "It was a little hard to try on shoes out in public, but I did that too."
K: "So do you like wearing the stuff?"
P: "Yes, very much so." (Not the answer she was hoping for!)
K: "Would it help if I gave you some mascara and eyeshadow colors I don't use?"
P: "Sure hon - I'd love it. I appreciate how hard this is for you, and how hard you are trying, and as I said last night, I appreciate it with every fiber of my being. I love you!"
K: "It's OK, I guess, if you shave your chest if you need to."
P: "You sure? I think I'd get it waxed in Tulsa, lasts longer, and less stubble."
K: "Geeze, that hurts - are you nuts? I hate getting waxed!"
K: "There's a wig store in Tulsa"
P: "I'd like to check it out sometime, but I have a wig, just so you know. I'm sorry to spring stuff on you, but I am trying to only tell you stuff when you ask - I don't want to push stuff on you."
K: "Is it long? What color is it?"
P: "It's dirty blonde, probably close to my original natural color when I was younger, and it's medium length, curls around my face. It's nice - my therapist liked it."
K: "You showed your therapist?!?"
P: "Yes, via skype."
We talk about other stuff after that.
So we go home, watch some TV, and she tells me this is all really hard, and crys on my chest a little bit. She tells me there's not enough wine in the world to solve this for her. She tells me that she keeps thinking about the future, what may happen. I tell her I know, and that I'm so sorry. I hold her for a little while. She takes a bath, comes to bed with me.
She is really trying hard. I feel bad this is so hard for her. But she's really moving fast too.