Are we the same?

[curse within]

Again am I the only one who feels this way? It has been stated in here if not once than hundreds of times that CDers are Cding Transgenders,the labels are one in the same. I ask how can that be? Sure we may start out the same but that is where the simularitys stop..

1.the two labels support men or women who enjoy wearing the clothes intended or designed for the sex they were not born as..

This they have in common

[COLOR="black"]2.The desire to wear makeup ,wigs,painted finger nails and toe nails, shave in areas males are usally not known to shave or try to promote hair growth where females normally lack.

Crossdessers are not interested in presenting or passing themselves as the sex they were not born as. Crossdressing Transgenders are..

Breast growth or reduction..

Crossdressers do nothing in this department they just like the feel of the clothing not to enhance the look. Crossdressing Trangenders will use forms or wrap to reduce or enhance the breasts..

Tucking or Stuffing....

Crossdressers again only like the feel of the clothing no need for enhancements or hideing

Going by a male or female name to fit the sex you were not born as..

Crossdressers are at peace with the sex they were born as.. Crossdressing Trangenders are not and desire to become the sex they try to mimic..

Now here are the differances pointed out with no anger no depression and no hate.. True we are all Crossdressers however we are all not Transgenders. Sure some of you are gonna tell me I havn't peaked or reached a level that yourat..NO I HAVE SORRY.. That being said I am in no denial as I don't really think Transgenders will ever understand. Sure if I pushed myself I could probable achive your levels but I don't want that or to be a crossdresser period!.. As a crossdresser if I was to feed the Bit*h she would only want more and to give in and allow myself to do that would evolve me into a Transgender.. I do not want anyone ,spouse ,friend , family or kids to support my dressing in anyway.

Sure we share the same label but I think thats about all ..

[Shelly Preston]

I would put it slighty different

We are all part of the transgendered community

We have Crossdressers and Transexuals

Transexuals are drive by a desire to change but will not necessarily change completely

Crossdressers can arrive at a similar point up to but not including transition

A slight but subtle difference

[Samantha Kelsey]

Maybe its because many CD's want to go out with their lovely clothes on that leads them to go into other things (makeup etc) in the hope that they can blend in and keep out of trouble. I do most of the things you mention but have no desire to be a woman. I think that there are many different classes (if classes is the right word) of CD's just as there are many differences in all other groups of people. We simply tend to throw all alikes under the same label. If we didn't therewoud be too many categories to handle. Whatever just keep smiling.

[Lora Olivia]

Not sure just what you want to know here. Do you just like the feel of the cloth of women's clothes..or is it a sexual thing for you and that is why I feel so much pain in your post. The only thing that I can tell you is that in the crossdress transgender community as in all things in life there are all the colors of the spectrum. An infinite variation of possibilities. And as for why you wouldn't want support from someone is just beyond me, we all need support for something

[Daintre]

The diversity even in just the CD community is huge. On the one end we have those who just like to wear woman's clothing and on the other end we have those who wish to present as female all the time. Between those two ends we have all levels of CD'ng. My belief is that you will rise to a level of CDing where you are comfortable, you may be in the closet and be very happy, or you might be happiest being out and about. There is no progression that must be followed.

On the transsexual side, there is a need to strive to become the person who inhabits the brain and the heart, if that doesn't match the outer shell. I can only speak for myself here, I feel I am a transsexual, I will never be in a position to have SRS, and I can live with that, but I embrace all the feminine qualities I can. I know also that some will never be free until they reach a level they can accept.

Sorry if what I have written is difficult to follow, but I do hope it helps.

[curse within]

Yes Shelly we are ALL a part of the Transgender community including the Crossdressers who do not wish to dress...

Now can a crossdresser be Transgender? Yes of course Transgender Labels cover a large area of crossdressing including the desire to become female Nothing wrong with that but within the name says gender and Trans but just as a crossdresser with no desire to become ever even for a minute female drop the "Trans-gender"..

I don't mind being called a Transgender because I know it's not true ..

Shelly thanks again nothing wrong with labels just want to remind folks of the ones who differ within the label..I am not angry ,surpressed, and everything else that I get accused of, I just differ in opinion thats all..

[trannie T]

It is impossible to put most of us in to a specific category. Each one of us brings a unique set of motivations, needs and values.

[Tracii G]

Over analyzation IMO.
CW why do you say if you feed "her" she will cause you to do something you don't want to do?Like have SRS?
Are you the type that has to take everthing to the extreme what ever it is?I know people like that and they constantly make bad decisions.
Not saying that you do, you seem intelligent for the most part.
You need BALANCE.

[battybattybats]

Transgender covers all people whose gender identity or gender expression is not stereotypical.

Transexuals are transgender because their gender identity is not stereotypical to their birth anatomy.

Crossdressers are transgender because their gender expression (and sometimes gender identity) is not sterotypical either. Some try to pass and some don't whether they are non-conforming in gender identity or not.

Drag Queens, again, not stereotypical.

Camp gays, butch lesbians, metrosexuals, effeminate straight men and masculine staright women... alll non stereotypical and all transgender.

Androgynes and the genderqueer and genderfree are all transgender.

Gender expression and gender identity are not binary either. Someone can have one of either male or female, neither, both and to varying degrees of both!

Just remember, whether for you it's just gender expression or gender identity there are people here with varying amounts of either and both but we all are transgender!

There is no such thing as a non-transgender crossdresser. A non gender-identity crossdresser yes, but in gender expression they are still transgender.

[Kelsy]

As a crossdresser if I was to feed the Bit*h she would only want more and to give in and allow myself to do that would evolve me into a Transgender.. I do not want anyone ,spouse ,friend , family or kids to support my dressing in anyway.

..

The she you refer to is you! I think you have some serious things to sort out.
It might be advisable to seek some professional help.

Kelsy

[Angie G]

We are the same as far as dressing gos But we do it for many different reasons so we are the same but different. do you know what I mean hun.
Angie

[Tracii G]

CW said he had seeked thrapy but it didn't help well find another thrapist that works with GID issues maybe the thing to do in this case.
The CD thing remember is a drive or urge for a lot and we act on a fantasy for the most part at least for me thats the case.
If you don't like CDing don't do it.

[Michelle 51]

Why make it so complicated.Just do it if it makes you feel good and leave the deep stuff for the professionals who make a living telling other people what they think makes them tick.All i know is this dress i'm wearing right now feels pretty good as it slides over my full slip and pantyhose.

[GaleWarning]

I am a heterosexual male who likes to wear woman's clothing. I am me, regardless of whether I am dressed in drab or en-femme. Were it considered "normal" for men to wear clothing of either gender (as it currently is for women), I would not be "classified" as a CDer.
Society at present labels me as a CDer.
I am definitely not transgendered.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm a CD, and I'm pretty sure I'm NOT TS. But, I do more body modification work than most of the TS folks here! I REALLY enjoy CDing!

I think CDing is supposed to be fun! CW, if it's not fun for u, u should just stop! If u CAN'T stop, and u want to, I think u definitely have issues!

It sounds like someone who's afraid to go to sleep! Because if u do, you're afraid you'll turn into someone else when u wake up! That's NOT rational!

[Nicki B]

I'm a CD, and I'm pretty sure I'm NOT TS.

By most people's definition, TG is not the same thing as TS? But TS is a often classed as a subset of TG?

CW, sure 'cross-dressing' only describes a behaviour? 'Trans-gender' is an attempt to describe 'why' - and as Batty says, it covers a very large, very diverse group of people?

It's also an attempt to focus on what is common to us, rather than what divides?

[Kate Simmons]

Just being yourself covers a multitude of "sins" my friend.

[Wendy me]

we are all people ..... just some of us are more "INTERESTING" than outhers...........food for thought when we stop putting labels on who we are it might confuse the rest of the people less... and make us all fit in better..............

[curse within]

we are all people ..... just some of us are more "INTERESTING" than outhers...........food for thought when we stop putting labels on who we are it might confuse the rest of the people less... and make us all fit in better..............

Wendy I couldn't agree more but I think there is confussion within the ranks of the label....I feel that some should be a little open minded about others situations and choice of lifestyle... There are reasons for some to choose not to progress and hateing the fact ...That they are stuck with a gift (curse ) that doesn't fit into thier lifestyle... Examples , wife doesn't like it, or the person with the gift (curse ) doesn't like having it shouldn't mean that they get stoned because others enjoy it..

To come here as a support Forum and be ousted for fighting the desires is just wrong..We all have been in negative situations and have many years with the hardship that Crossdressing can bring. .. So instead of beating someone up through post of negative threads because the individual did not agree with how accepting improved thier live doesn't mean it will improve others lifes ,we are all different.

This is a close knit community perhaps to close because most all of the memebers are on the same level of thinking when it comes to the examples I have provided. Sometimes it just makes me sick to see some responses to the painfully true everyday life of some members .. To be so selfish inconsiderate and sometimes out right rude.. I don't think they know they are being that way and truley believe they are helping with no intent to harm, if anything just a big mis understanding. I just wish everyone would step out of the box, thier comfort zone and relize every persons lifestyle and situation is different.. Thats why I ask are we the same?

[battybattybats]

I am a heterosexual male who likes to wear woman's clothing. I am me, regardless of whether I am dressed in drab or en-femme. Were it considered "normal" for men to wear clothing of either gender (as it currently is for women), I would not be "classified" as a CDer.
Society at present labels me as a CDer.
I am definitely not transgendered.

Incorrect. You are absolutely and most assuredly Transgender! Not transexual but transgender. A metrosexual who doesn't even wear womens clothes is transgender because they are still not conforming to the gender expression stereotype so you most certainly are!

[Hali]

Curse within I read three to four threads that were initiated by u, it looks as if u want the entire pple or at least a large number of pple from this forum to entertain your ideas on how to stop, end, extinguish crossdressing and you are not getting the right feed-back, well, you may never get it cos most of the pple on this forum have chosen the easiest way-out of tackling CDing this way is “acceptance” cos when a CDer accepts it brings more benefits:

1- one can dress as much one wants
2- harness ones CDing potential
3- make more friends on this forum
4- while away a pleasant time etc, etc, etc

on the other hand if a CD chooses to end CDing the options are to look for solutions from religious organisations or religious point of view (am sure most of the world religions abhor CDing), the next option is to go to therapists and pay them money to help u out in discovering urself which might help and will not “heal” the CDing urges or one can go to the extreme and allow for extreme methods of curing CDing which most of the time is futile.

From my own understanding the pple on this forum have given up the fight cos most of the members have been struggling with CDing for over 40, 50, 30 years or much more or much less and couldn’t find a solution most have tried all methods including attempting suicide but to no avail so they want to try the other method which is “acceptance” and like my own case CDing become easier after acceptance. Before accepting, i couldn’t control the “bitch” like u refer to CDing, the urge was too strong to fight but these days I can even say no to the “bitch” and give “her” some alternatives like visiting this forum and chat with other CDs which saved me so many days which otherwise on “those” days I will have to CD.

If u want to express urself the way u want to more than the way u are doing on this forum then open ur own forum and invite “like minds” to join u and stop trying to get the pple on this forum to enjoy ur discussion, cos the same way u get annoyed wen other CDs don’t give u the right answers might be the same way other CDs get annoyed wen u try to take them go back to that “old” path of stopping/discouraging/hating CDing cos most of us here are a bit over CDing as a life problem.

Lastly, the happiest days of my life in recent years started after I accept CDing as part of me cos like one of my Doctors told me when I was having Ulcer that the reason why my ulcer persisted was because I refuse to accept that am an ulcer patient so I tend to eat the wrong food, drink the wrong drinks and have a life style as if I don’t have ulcer, everything changed when I accept that am an ulcer patient and now am healed of my ulcer, the same goes to my CDing. People also say identifying a problem is about 50% of solving that problem, and CDing is a problem so once u accept it u will find it easy to control and deal with.

For everyone information CDs are not necessarily sissies, gays or other deregatory names the society tend to picture us or Hollywood stereotyping of CDs, not that there is something wrong with beign a sissy or gay….. no! but we are kool pple warm and much more, and CDs are nt weak we can fight in any war or conflict just like women do or the so called straight/strong men, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Sorry! Sorry! For such a long post.

[curse within]

Sosoft,

Does it not say Crossdressers.com? Open to all forms of crossdressing? I'll stop making it me about them once it becomes just that ..I should be able to post any thought I feel as long as others in the PROS AND CONS of crossdressing feel as you have just stated in proveing my point..

So if I am wrong then maybe the owners of this site should rename it SUPPORT FOR ONLY PEOPLE WHO WANT AND ENJOY CROSSDRESSING ONLY


I can give two you know what less what the regulars of this site think of me I am only here to support those who have trouble with crossdressing and the issues faced with it..

So thank you for your insight and have a very soft day..Yes it's obvious what I am doing so please remember there are two sides to every coin..

[Holly]

Wendy I couldn't agree more but I think there is confussion within the ranks of the label....I feel that some should be a little open minded about others situations and choice of lifestyle...

CW, shouldn't that cut both directions? I'm quite happy with my life. But it is not something that just fell into my lap... I have worked hard to get to the point I am today. Life is not about what we are given, it is about what we choose to make of it. If you are content being "cursed" (your own self-description) then fine. For myself, I am a subscriber of the, "If life hands you a bag of lemons, make lemonade" way of living. I certainly did not chooses to be CD/TG/TS/DQ or any other label anyone would like to paste on me, any more than I choose to be left or right handed... it is just a fact of life. I simply choose not to hate myself for who I am and embrace to opportunity to see and experience life from what many would say is a unique perspective.

There are reasons for some to choose not to progress and hating the fact ...That they are stuck with a gift (curse ) that doesn't fit into their lifestyle... Examples , wife doesn't like it, or the person with the gift (curse ) doesn't like having it shouldn't mean that they get stoned because others enjoy it...

Here is where I hope you can help me to understand something that I confess I have difficulty with... why anyone would choose to be stuck being unhappy. We always have choices, CW. If we find ourselves in situations where we are not happy, we can choose to change the situation. Granted, it is often not easy, but nevertheless it is a choice. We can also choose to adjust our thinking, choose to make the best of the situation we find ourselves to be in. Of course, we can also choose to do nothing at all and remain unhappy and hateful, filled with self-loathing... I don't understand this last choice at all and as I said a moment ago, perhaps you can help me gain some insight into that mode of thinking.

This is a close knit community perhaps to close because most all of the members are on the same level of thinking when it comes to the examples I have provided. Sometimes it just makes me sick to see some responses to the painfully true everyday life of some members .. To be so selfish inconsiderate and sometimes out right rude.. I don't think they know they are being that way and truely believe they are helping with no intent to harm, if anything just a big mis understanding. I just wish everyone would step out of the box, thier comfort zone and relize every persons lifestyle and situation is different.. Thats why I ask are we the same?

Yes, this IS a close knit community and you are a relatively new citizen here. I would hope that instead of judging us as "selfish, inconsiderate, and rude", that you would take a bit of your own advice and step out of your box and get to know us before labeling us as mis-understanding, mis-guided people. If you really take the time to get to know us, I believe you will find that rather then trying to get everyone to conform to a single way of thinking, we celebrate the differences we have. By our very nature, we are all "different" from the norms society has come to expect and as such sensitive to differences.

I do so appreciate the honesty of your posts and I hope that you are able to find the peace that is currently lacking in your life.

[battybattybats]

As much as I think Curse within is wrong and harming himself by fighting CDing etc I do agree that this place should include viewpoints i think are wrong.

[Shelly Preston]

CW
I understand your problem

We have similarities but we are all different individuals

Most members come here looking for the support as to how live with or improve with their crossdressing

Have we had people try to stop in the past
YES of course we have but most if not all have returned to dressing at some point

It is an amazingly difficult thing to stop ( some would say impossible)

Yes it can feel like a curse or a gift depending on how you view it

As has been said it may take the help of professionals experienced in gender issues to help you