Needless Markups

[TxKimberly]

OK, so it was Neiman Marcus Last Call. believe it or not, my wife asked me to take her there yesterday to look for gifts for a couple of little girls in our family. At one point I had to kind of giggle and so my wife looks at me.
"What's so funny?" she asks with a curious look. I pointed at my 6 year old daughter who was following me everywhere, and then at the 6 week old son I had been carrying since we entered the store.
"Well, they may have plenty of questions about my fashion interests, but I don't guess many of them are questioning my sexual orientation today!" That made her laugh and so that's a good thing. I like it when we can laugh about what I am. As long as we are seeing the humor in it we are OK.
So as my wife is looking at little girl things, I have my sleeping son in my arms, and my daughter following behind me, and I'm looking at big girl things - namely gowns. I was sort of hoping to find one that I could afford for SCC. I found a KILLER gown, with a complex red and black pattern that I would have looked killer in, AND it was on the size 12 rack, AND it was selling for about $120! I grabbed it, filled with joy at the thought that I was no longer relegated to wearing an "Ehh" gown to SCC, but would instead be wearing a "That's freaking awesome!" gown! I took the kids back over to my wife and told her I would prefer not to spend that kind of money with out trying it on first. To my surprise my wife was completely cool at the idea of my taking it to the dressing room, so I off loaded the children on to her and set off. As I approached the dressing room, it struck me that I had never done this - tried on clearly female clothes while very clearly presenting as male. The thought actually made me a little nervous. So as I enter the dressing room area, two SA's are chatting at the desk and paying me no attention, so I'm not sure if I'm supposed to check in with them, or just go to the dressing room. I actually spun in a little circle while my brain locked up. First I headed for the mens dressing room, then thought "Nah, your probably supposed to check in" and so I turned back to the desk. I see they are still ignoring me, so figure maybe they don't want you to check in with them first and spun back to the dressing room . . . and find it locked . . .
Just as I'm puling my hand back from the door handle, this cute little SA walks up behind me.
"Do you need a dressing room sir?" I was probably blushing dark red as I held up the gown, and so decided to go on the offensive and make a joke about it.
"Well, so much for my master plan of sneaking past you with it!" I told her with a wink and laugh. She shook her head back and forth with a knowing smile of her own.
"It's not a problem! Just follow me!" she said as she led the way and unlocked a room. Considering that not one of the young ladies there was phased, I'd have to guess that they have seen a lot of guys before me do this.

Well, turns out I was stupid. The gown was hanging on the size 12 rack but it was a 10 and came no where near fitting my fat butt. I guess I'm shallow, because it depressed the hell out of me for the rest of the day that I wasn't going to be able to wear that stunner to SCC. On the other hand, I DID take a new step for me by being bold enough to take a gown into a dressing room while in male mode. :-)

[PretzelGirl]

I'm sorry it didn't fit. From the sounds of it, it would have made your trip.

I see they are still ignoring me, so figure maybe they don't want you to check in with them first and spun back to the dressing room . . . and find it locked . . .
Just as I'm puling my hand back from the door handle, this cute little SA walks up behind me.
"Do you need a dressing room sir?" I was probably blushing dark red as I held up the gown, and so decided to go on the offensive and make a joke about it.
"Well, so much for my master plan of sneaking past you with it!" I told her with a wink and laugh. She shook her head back and forth with a knowing smile of her own.
"It's not a problem! Just follow me!" she said as she led the way and unlocked a room. Considering that not one of the young ladies there was phased, I'd have to guess that they have seen a lot of guys before me do this.

I think this is the experience level a lot of the rest of us would like to get. I believe if you can joke around without sounding like you are deflecting, then it disarms most people and eases tensions (if they exist to start with). You do this well and I think that is one part of what makes your experiences so good.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Darn it, Kimberly, don't that just p*ss you off? The size thing I mean. I've done that so many times, find something on the rack that I think will fit, and just gets my heart racing, only to find somebody put it back in the wrong place. I hate that.

Don't you worry, girl, there's another gorgeous gown out there with your name on it, just waiting for you.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Jonianne]

Kim, I think the neatest thing is the freedom to be open and honest in your life without having to keep deep dark secrets from your wife and others.

[Raychel]

Don't you just hate when that happens, You find just the perfect item, only to find that they don't have your size.

Anyway congrats on the big step.

[BettyCooper]

Kimberly, there are many different kinds of triumph in this life besides getting the great dress, and I think that you definitely had one!

[LindaTS]

Size 12 and fat butt? I should be so lucky. Oh well, such is life.

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Kim,

That's a cute story. What a bummer that the gown didn't fit and I totally understand how you'd be depressed for the rest of the day, I would be too. Oh well sounds like you'll be going dress shopping again soon.

I've also tried on gowns in boy mode. I was with my wife in JC Penney and when it came to trying them on, my wife suggested we go to the nearest fitting room. It was the women's one of course and there was a line. Inside all the cubicles are actually sealed off little rooms and so no one can see anything. I stood there holding a ballgown on my arm (as is my wife) with a couple of GGs both in front of us and behind us. The two young girls behind me just looked at me and smiled, presumably they thought I was just holding the dress for my wife. No one said anything though. Btw ... I take a size 12 too!

[Stephanie-L]

I too have had great service in Needless Markup, in fact I sent an email to the corporate office about the wonderful help I recieved when shopping there for a new bra, alas they didn't have my size either. It's too bad that the gown didn't fit, I am sure all of us were looking forward to photos of you in it, you would look stunning as usual, I'm sure.....Stephanie

[Sara Jessica]

Looks like a day of shopping is in order to find THE perfect gown. I can think of worse ways to spend a day (or 2, or 3 )!!!

[Jilmac]

Kimberly, I would have been willing to take that size 10 off your hands. Too bad it was on the wrong rack, it probably would have looked gorgeous on you. I never tried it at Neiman Marcus, but I have taken a cart full of womens clothes to the locked dressing rooms at my local Goodwill while dressed in drab and none of the SA's gave it a second thought. I've also done it at Gap, Old Navy and Walmart with similar results.

[deja true]

Ha! Too bad for your size 12 loss, hunny! Nya, nya!

(Geez! I know that karmic blunder is gonna come back and bite me!)

But, as for the inside joking about the whole gender thing... Congrats! I love it when me and the gf (I just came out to her last month) get into that, too. It's more than just a shared joke, ain't it? It's a shared intimacy that means she's thinking good things about you both!

When she calls me and the first thing she says is "What are you wearing?" in that giggly mock stalking voice, I smile so wide inside and get a lump in my throat!

What fun, huh?

[diannecourtney]

Wish I could look on the 12 rack. It would be so girly.

[Miranda09]

Great story Kim, but even tho your stories are giving me more and more encouragement to try something like that, I'm still not sure I have the fortitude to go through with it. Besides, finding my size is always difficult as I would likely take a size 16-18 tall in some killer gown or LBD!! Would have loved to have seen that gown on you tho..sounded awesome!

[TGMarla]

I grabbed it, filled with joy at the thought that I was no longer relegated to wearing an "Ehh" gown to SCC, but would instead be wearing a "That's freaking awesome!" gown!

I've never seen you in an "Ehh" gown....EVER! Every one of them has been stunning.

So shut.....

.....up!

I love you, too. And kudos to you for your latest step forward.

[docrobbysherry]

I was trying on some new acquisitions last nite.

I SQUEEZED into a size 6 dress. But, trying on a pretty size 10 dress, I was about 3" from being able to zip it at my chest! Without breast forms even!

How fancy do the girls dress, at the SCC, Kim? I'm WORRIED NOW!

I WILL say, I found the "try on" part of your story quite INSPIRATIONAL!

[Melissa Rose]

Kimberly, I hate it when that happens so I feel your disappointment. One time I found a dress I liked in my size, but it did not fit right. When I went back to get the next size, none were to be found. Grrrrr. I'm sure you will find another gown and look fantastic in it. It may even be a better one.

I never have tried using the women's dressing room while drab, but I've tried on women's clothing into the men's dressing room and no one has ever commented on it. A sequin evening gown may be hard to sneak in, but almost everything is easy.

[kellycan27]

Kim
Did you ask them to check another store for your size? or could you possibly have them order one?
Just a thought.
Kelly

[MsJanessa]

I'm sure you know by now that different labels have different ideas on sizes did you ask if they could order one for you or find it in another store or was it the last one? Maybe that's why wife didn't have a problem with you trying it on at that price, because she knew you wouldn't buy it as it was too small---GGs can tell by looking sometimes----nice to know though that she is that cool with your dressing

[Kathi Lake]

Kim,

Bummer on the dress. Kelly has a great point - have them call around. Also, don't be afraid to shop in male mode - they usually don't care. All I have been asked to do if I shop in male mode is use the men's changing room. No biggie.

On the gown, at least you have the order correct - have a place to go where you need a nice gown and then find the pretty gown. I found a pretty gown, and have no place to go with it. I hope someday to go to an event like SCC or BeAll. Until then, my pretty gown is relegated to the closet.

Kathi

[TxKimberly]

Kim
Did you ask them to check another store for your size? or could you possibly have them order one?
Just a thought.
Kelly

No I didn't. Since it was on the "last chance and we are gonna chuck this dress" rack, I doubted there was much point to it

[JenniferR771]

how was the 6 yr old with the idea?
I am comfortable in drab at my favorite thirft store because the girls know me. Last week i was a little uncomfortable with a new 18 yr old male cashier. I found 4 nice dresses to choose from and put them into my cart along with 3 pair of shoes. Plus a red wig. I headed for fitting room and there was an 18 year old girl customer perched on a chair right outside of the little rooms. She was waiting for her mother. i killed a few minutes at a distance. Waited more minutes. Waited more. Finally I couldn't wait anymore and I went into a fitting room right in front of her--dragging the shopping cart full of dresses into the room with me...tight fit! LOL. Got a brief stare.

[Teri Jean]

Kim sorry to hear the loss of the sale but the SA is very nice to help. I am surprised that of all people you would have not done this already, I mean it is like finding your big sister has not kissed a boy yet. LOL Well I am sure there will be other firsts down the road. Huggs to you and your wife.

Teri

[Christina Horton]

Thats why I had my high school reunion dress made. I looked for the right dress for months but could not find the dress I liked in my size. I found a few but allways to small. I hope one day I find girl like yours someday. I hope you know how lucky you are...so lucky. Have fun shopping.

PS. The months of shopping was not a wast of time for me , just got me worried that I would never find it. Huggs.

[Charona]

I have learned - the hard way - to check the size label on the garment itself instead of relying on the label on the rack or hangar. Doesn't matter if it is a male or female garment, either. Even then you can go wrong.