Why Pretend You are a Girl?

[DaphneGrey]

I have been distressed lately at the amount of crossdressers, who list there gender as Femail on social networking sites. It just seems a littlle dishonest to me. If I offend anyone I apologise in advance. Are you just pretending? Or has the psudo annonymity of the internet given you an outlet to extend the fantasy?

Before you flame know that all of my web pages facebook etc list me as male and show both facets of my gender expression.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Daphne-

I guess for me it depends on how they phrase the question. If they ask for "SEX", which to me means my plumbing, then I check the "M" box. If they ask my "GENDER" which is betweeen my ears and not my legs, then I answer by checking "F" because that's how I feel about myself. I feel more female than male, though I am a male. If there were a third box labelled "TG" or "none of the above" or "why do you ask", I would probably check that.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Kathi Lake]

Daphne, we talked about this on this thread earlier. It all boils down to why you are posting as a different gender? To pick up on guys/girls? To make money? To get feedback on your appearance? Is it really wrong? That's for the person to decide themselves, not us.

Kathi

[Tamara Croft]

Uhm... your signature... Jersey Girl's don't pump gas... isn't that saying you're a girl? Bit of a contradiction if you ask me... You're name here is Daphne... that's a girls name... isn't that dishonest? It's not your real name is it... why you getting your knickers in a knot over it?

[DonnaT]

I believe that since I am trans, then I am part male and part female. So is it wrong to say I am female when there is only one choice, and my image is female?

[michelle64]

why some lie i dont know....i am a guy who crossdresser and do not really care what others think...i use too but that was 20 years ago..i know who i am so may be they are just jerks and have serious mind issues...no need to lie about it....if some would just quit lieing to there GG it would be better,,heck i have met tons of GG's over the years who are more then willing to date a CD and are ecstatic about the lifestyle...quit lieing...you will find a great GG if you just stop the lies

[Christina Horton]

I am male by birth , Male in most of my life , I am Female by choice and by nature. So am I wrong?

What you should ask is why dose it bother me. Maybe you have not excepted your self yet. Or have you I don't know. All I know that it's my choice and I will be me. So if I put female on something (and I do) It's what I want to do and if someone thinks it's lieing well I guess I lie every time I go out dressed, or even when I go out in drab to cuz I am 70% fem so whats the lie hun. After all I always have to give a reason for being me so why should it be any different here.

Now I am not offended or mad just a little bug by the question , just a little.

[Nicole Erin]

you can be who or what you want on the web.
Why do you even care if people list a gender opposite their birth one?

And mostly - coming to a site with mostly trans folks is not the place to sit there and complain about how people present their gender.

Think what you want, I doubt this post will stand anyways cause someone will probably find this more offensive than the OP.

OMG the OP is right, I too am appalled that some list their gender as "femail".
Now if it were a genetive male listing it as "female" there wouldn't be a prob but to say they are "Femail"? I can't believe it, what nerve!

[kellycan27]

If I pretend I am a girl, I don't have to explain why I have breasts, long hair,wear dresses,nylons,heels, and make-up. Much easier that way.

Kelly (playing nice)

[Sarah Doepner]

Why pretend I'm a girl? Sometimes I just get tired of pretending I'm a man. I don't do it to decieve anyone (probably couldn't if I tried), but to get a little balance in my life.

[Angelofsomekind]

I haven't checked in a while, but last time I did they didn't have a MtoF CD as an option.

Anytime I put female as my sex I always state that I am a CD somewhere in my profiles.

[Sheila]

Perhaps it could be that for some, listing their male name could lead to being outed as a CDER, and loss of various friends, family members and even jobs if friends go hunting for them by male name .

It could also be that their Fem self is as real as their male self, and so enables some to socialize without having to take the risk of going out the door, in fact they can socalize with family and friends and interact with them as their female self without their friends knowing they are crossdressing ............ could actually lead to an easier coming out to those folks later on if they decide to eventually tell those family and friends ............ just a thought and just my

[Wen4cd]

I avoid the social networking sites. I have one yahoo mail account listed as female, but I only use it to correspond with people who know I am a crossdresser. I think in that context, it means "you can address me as female if you like."

[Joni Marie Cruz]

If I pretend I am a girl...

But, but, you mean...I mean...what are you saying? Do you mean...? OMG! <rotflmao>

Hug you, girl.

-Joni Mari

[Lorileah]

because I can? worked for two years on a poker site, I'd say it was a dang fine bluff

[Tamara Croft]

Don't you just love people who post threads like these then instantly log off...

[PaulaJaneThomas]

What makes you think I'm not a girl. Is there something odd about my avatar?

[Holly]

Daphne, your supposition suggests that people, by declaring their gender as female are pretending, when in fact, the pretending may have been all those years declaring they were male when their heart and their head was telling them something different. If you're content to list your gender as male, Daphne, I think that's great. But the fact is, who is in a better position to declare their gender than the person who's life is living it? For myself, I'm just tickled pink (no pun intended) that I have finally found a peace in my life that had been missing for oh, so long. Tell you what... I won't get distressed at your identifying yourself as a male if you will return the courtesy and allow me and the others here and elsewhere the freedom to be who they are as well and not let yourself get all distressed over it. Deal?

[Rebecca Lynn 33]

I personally don't use those sites. If I was to ever do a page for Rebeecca I would try to leave it blank I don't know if you can. I can not let Rebecca be known to my family or most if not all friends. So I can understand why some people would do female. Itry to be as female as possible when I dress and try to stuff my male self into Rebecca's closet.

This is just my opinion,
Rebecca

[kellycan27]

But, but, you mean...I mean...what are you saying? Do you mean...? OMG! <rotflmao>

Hug you, girl.

-Joni Mari

Gosh Joni,my boyfriend had that exact same reaction. The proof is in my genes.....er jeans.
Kelly

[DaphneGrey]

Uhm... your signature... Jersey Girl's don't pump gas... isn't that saying you're a girl? Bit of a contradiction if you ask me... You're name here is Daphne... that's a girls name... isn't that dishonest? It's not your real name is it... why you getting your knickers in a knot over it?

Thanks for pointing that out Tamara, I sort of assumed everyone on here got that I was a guy, so I didn't feel the need to clarify that in my post. If I were trying to be dishonest I would have had to list as Daphne GG. I am talking about other websites like face book and my space.

If it will make you feel better I will change my profile to something more androgynous.

I asked this question seriously because I am genuinely curious. I wont lie I do find it distressing to an extent so I am hoping some thoughtful post's will help me understand and grow a little bit.

Forgive me for thinking a public forum was the place to do that.

Sorry you find that so offensive.

Not that is anyones business, but my wife had surgery this morning Just after I posted I had to log off as she was in recovery. So let me beg your forgiveness again for thinking my wife was slightly more important than my immediate attention to this thread.

Moving on Perhaps I should explain my position a little better. I am not saying this because I think I am right it is just how I feel. Please do not be offended.
I present most of the time as rather androgynous and I swing to the very feminine edge of the pendulum. My facebook account lists me as Daphne as was pointed out a female name. I do list my sex as male and under my info I list that I am Bi gender along with my given name. On the internet and in real life I give the people I interact with the freedom to use what ever pronouns they want and to to call by my Male or female name whichever makes them more comfortable.
I am one hundred percent comfortable in my skin either one of them actually. For this I feel very blessed I have presenting the way I do and being honest with everyone I meet online or in person has opened up a world of acceptance I wouldn't have thought possible. I guess that is the core of who I am and how I deal with my unique condition.

I appreciate the honest and thoughtful answers, I really do. Very often I am asked why do so many Crossdressers do this and do that? Frankly this is one of those questions. And quite frankly to an outsider or cis person who notices these things, it can be quite off putting. It comes across as dishonest (so I am told by my non gender variant friends and contacts who have noticed)

Look you love or hate me or what I have to say I don't really care. I do not come here for validation thats why I no longer post pictures and such. I asked the question because I want to know. Plain and simple.

[Starling]

Kellycan make me laugh.

Lallie

[Tamara Croft]

Thanks for pointing that out Tamara, I sort of assumed everyone on here got that I was a guy, so I didn't feel the need to clarify that in my post. If I were trying to be dishonest I would have had to list as Daphne GG. I am talking about other websites like face book and my space.

So because this is a CD site and you assume people think you are male, that's ok? How is it ok here and not on facebook or myspace? And let me say it again, your name is not really Daphne is it... but that's ok because this is a CD site...

And you do what you like to your profile, doesn't matter to me if you list yourself as a cooker... As far as I know, there isn't an option on facebook or myspace to choose CD... and as most CD's present as female, they will put female on their accounts... I still don't understand why you have such an issue with it.

[suchacutie]

Of course, that means there is no incorrect way either. Once we stepped over the line and found that we had a feminine side to ourselves, and especially once we embrace the physical changes, the emotional changes, the voice changes, and the different mental approach to present ourselves in a feminine way, even with a plumbing change (transsexual), there is an ambiguity that we all face. For me, Tina has a specific e-mail address. It's not his in any way. When the transition occurs and Tina appears, the only thing left that male is the plumbing and the chromosomes. The rest, the part that can be changes, is changed to feminine.

When do you think we should cross the line to put F in that box? When we dress and use the Ladies room? When we're on hormones? When we've had SRS and other feminization surgury? Even then one could argue about chromosomes if one wanted to! There is never a good answer! One must go with one's convictions and emotional attachment to whichever gender is in the mind.

As has been said many times here, gender expression is a choice. You are asking an unanswerable question. I'm sure most of us here make it clear that we are transgendered. At that point, the box labeled "sex" means very little!



tina

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Irrelavant by either posting male or female..especially if your putting a picture up of yourself as a female...call yourself whatever you want to call your self...bottom line is you are who you are...for someof us that means we're both male (by what's between your legs) and what is in your emotional make up or DNA and that's female....if you want to call yourself a dog feel free to do that as well...it's whatever you feel comfortable and approrpriate with....simple huh????

Hugs...

Stephanie