I'm sorry your marriage has taken the turn that it has but it doesn't sound like it's a recent development and the fix may not be quick either. I'd highly recommend a marriage counselor for the two of you, but make sure it's someone well versed in CD so they focus on the root problems that need addressed instead of getting hung up on CD.
Control well may be at issue here...CD is something your wife isn't able to control and that alone could make her uncomfortable. It'd be nice if she'd at least agree to a time when you could dress so you wouldn't have to feel apologetic for it. My recommendations to the two of you is to focus on mutual respect, relinquish control over the other, find something in common you can enjoy together, and always treat each other with dignity. Sometimes with a long term marriage, after 20+ years they discover they don't have a lot in common and growing dissatifaction develops...they must both re-fall in love with each other and that requires positive time spent together and positive interaction when so doing. I have learned so much from marriagebuilders.com where they have tools such as emotional needs questionairre, and books such as Lovebusters and His Needs, Her Needs. There is a vast forum where there are experts to lend advice and it's all very helpful.
I don't think this is all about CDing, but I wish you the best in your desire to put your marriage on good footing.
