I told my wife..... Here's to a promising 2010!

[KristinSkye]

This is very long so if you want the Cliff's notes just read the paragraph before the first list and below



Around New Years someone posted a thread about what their resolutions might be if they had them. I posted my small list and my number one was "1. Tell my wife about my CD'ing". I joked saying "The first thing is going to be tough, but I figure I have all year to do it" because I honestly thought it wasn't going to happen.

Well I did...She was coming back home from a weeks trip back to our hometown. I made a plan that morning that I was going to tell her. I had to pick her up from the airport on my lunch break so I knew that I wouldn't have enough time to proplerly tell her so I made myself tell her I had something very important to tell her after work. That turned out to be kind of a bad idea because she was very anxious and worried all afternoon but I knew I had to do it otherwise I would just get home from work and chicken out like I've done a million times in the past 4 years.

Well I got home and she immediately wanted to talk. I told her she should eat dinner before we started because she hadn't eaten all day and I didn't want her to feint lol. She said she was too anxious and couldn't. The mood was so intense I can't even explain it. I started to spew out the line I had been practicing all day and immediately stopped, I went and got some water and tried once more. Finally the words came out "I have been cross dressing since I was 15". She couldn't come back with a reply so I went on: "Hun, I've never told ANYONE this before. I've been painfully keeping this secret to myself for almost a decade", instantly all my anxiety and nausea went away, I felt like a ten thousand pound weight had just been lifted off of my chest.

At this point she was still just sitting there. I broke the ice and told her that she can ask me ANYTHING she wanted. I had come prepared with a sheet of answers to questions I felt she was going to ask me. Thank you so much for your thread about talking to your SO's Marla, it was my saving grace. The first thing my wife asked me was "So are you, uh, you know, um..." I said "Gay or Bi? No..." We both chuckled that she couldn't spit that out Then she went down the list:

• Why do you like it?
• Is this some kind of kinky sex fetish?
• Do you want to become a woman?
• Have you been wearing my clothes?
• Aren’t you satisfied with me?
• When do you do it? How often?
• etc

Al-throughout the Q & A she was physically trembling and I could tell her mind was running . I can't imagine the stress she was under, but I think she handled it very well. She was never accusing or angry even though she asked me thing like was I borrowing her clothing or using her makeup. At this point I think she just wanted to learn about me.

After she was done asking her questions I went down the rest of my list of questions I thought she was going to ask. She told me that she might be a little distant for a few days while she deals with the news....BUT, after that I think she relaxed a little bit and got a little curious:

• Do you have a girls name? - Yeah, Kristin, last name Skye, spelled S-k- (she finished the last name for me :P)
• Do you have a wig? - Yep.
• What color is it? - Explained the color the best I could.
• Can you do makeup? - Yeah, but I'm not very good.
• Do you stuff a bra? - Kind of...I use things call breast forms that are way better.
• Do you own any clothes? - Yeah, I used to have a large collection that I purged, but I'm starting a new collection. (told her a few things that I have so far)
• How do you hide "him" - (We'll keep the answer to this one off the record :P)
• What are you favorite clothes? - Short skirts, jeans, tight tops, heels and boots.

Those kinds of questions continued and each question had a side conversation. For example when she heard my reply to her question about makeup she said "well maybe someday I can help you and do it" or when I told her about one of the shirts I had "well if we're going to do this then one of the best parts will be me getting to borrow some of your stuff!".

She also brought up going out as two girls. I told her this is one of my biggest fantasies and explained some of the stories that you all have posted about going out with your SO's. She was open to the idea, but when she had the bad thought of me getting hit on while we were out she panicked I little bit. I told her that it is something I would like to do some day but we should take it slow for now.



Anyway it was a long conversation, but I'm so glad that I finally had the courage to have it. Neither of us really got any sleep that night. She was still very nervous, startled, excited, and scared about the whole thing and I was so happy to have shared my cross dressing with someone that I didn't want to sleep.

Anyway, I just want to thank everyone on the boards. Without you wonderful people that day really may have never come.













OH! And I forgot to mention the best part. He last question was "So when do I get to meet her?". She said whenever I was comfortable to let her know so she can prepare herself ^_^

[Nicole Anne]

Oh Kristen that is awesome. Sounds like you did it properly and she is seeing a positive side to it. You go girl. Contratulations. Hope

[Tiff Rivera]

[SIZE="2"]
WOW Kristin!
I read this three times, lol... I truly could not be any happier for you. I am so glad it went well

Please let us know how the two of you are doing. I wish you both well!
[/SIZE]

[DiannaRose]

Kristin Skye, that is absolutely wonderful!

I know about the weight lifting...happened to me too, though my wife wasn't nearly as calm about it as yours. But I felt so much better for having finally come clean.

Some of the others will also tell you this...even though she has accepted this for now, don't push her into accepting more. She has a lot to digest, and it sounds like she has a good digestive tract for it, but there is undoubtable some shock she's feeling right now as well. Let her set the pace, as much as possible.

But I am so thrilled for you, Kristin! God bless you and your wonderful wife!

[Di]

Very happy for you There might be some ups and downs just answer everything you can as honestly as you can and tell her no more secrets from here on out.If she wants other gg's to talk to tell her about thr FAB forum. Best Wishes to you both.

[FireflyGG]

Yay!!! I am so excited for both of you. It really could not have gone any better than that. You guys remind me of how it went down with Melissa and myself. I'm the only one in her life (beyond the board) who knows and we like having that secret to ourselves and fitting Melissa into our lives is an adventure.

One thing I would suggest is if you find that Kristin is becoming more of a romantic interest with your wife, instead of just a gal pal, you may want to try this. I told her that I already know the male side, and even though it's the same person, there are definitely some differences between the two. So I wanted an opportunity to date Melissa. First it will take place at home where we're both comfortable. Getting used to each other and enjoy some time together. but eventually I want to go off and leave her at home to get ready on her own and then pick her up and take her out on a real date. Just the two of us.

I think you're wise to give your wife as much time as she needs to digest it all and be prepared to answer a couple of questions repeatedly that will make her feel more secure (I had 2 that kept asking every once in awhile "just to be sure" ) but because Melissa was so open and honest, I was able to settle in quite quickly.

I wish the both of you many happy experiences as Kristin finds her own place in your marriage.

[helena.gcd]

oh Kristin!!! I'm really happy for you, girl!!! It seems that your SO is going to be OK with your CDing. Well, you have read it here thousand of times: Don't move too fast and let your SO set the speed at which she is comfortable. Good luck hon.

[debbeelee1]

Congrats Kristin! You are on the right track! Just think how next New Year's is going to be!

[StaceyJane]

I'm so glad that you were able to tell your wife. It will make a big diiference.

[KristinSkye]

Thank you everyone for your kind and congratulatory words! That is exactly what I was talking about in my original post, you all are the best ^_^

Some of the others will also tell you this...even though she has accepted this for now, don't push her into accepting more. She has a lot to digest, and it sounds like she has a good digestive tract for it, but there is undoubtable some shock she's feeling right now as well. Let her set the pace, as much as possible.

I know I need to let her do the pacing and that's my plan but she is the kind of person to take in big bad news and then never talk about it again and I'm just afraid that if I don't casually bring it up or talk about it going forward its just going to become that "thing" that I do. I really want her to be involved. That's why I'm planning on introducing her to Kristin the weekend after this. Do you think that is too soon?

answer everything you can as honestly as you can and tell her no more secrets from here on out.If she wants other gg's to talk to tell her about thr FAB forum. Best Wishes to you both.

I did tell her that from now on I know there is no reason I have to keep any secrets from her. I think she liked that. I also mentioned that there was a Loved Ones and FAB forum that she could go to if she needed advice on how to deal.

I also asked her if she would care if I was on the boards while she was in the room as kind of easing her into the idea and she said it was ok, although I was on here last night while she was busy elsewhere and as soon as I heard her coming down the hall my hand hit that red X faster than you can blink your eye...silly programmed reflexes

One thing I would suggest is if you find that Kristin is becoming more of a romantic interest with your wife, instead of just a gal pal, you may want to try this. I told her that I already know the male side, and even though it's the same person, there are definitely some differences between the two. So I wanted an opportunity to date Melissa. First it will take place at home where we're both comfortable. Getting used to each other and enjoy some time together. but eventually I want to go off and leave her at home to get ready on her own and then pick her up and take her out on a real date. Just the two of us.

That's a really cool idea Firefly, I will keep it in mind, thanks

[lavistaa62]

for all the negative stories we hear, it's ones like this which reinforce my belief of the power of female love and compassion.

[Miranda09]

It appears like you both handled the news quite well Kristin. From the sound of it, after a little period of adjustment, I think the 2 of you are going to have a very exciting time this year.

[Bobbie Bee]

Kristin, like everyone else, I think that's great and I wish you both all the happiness in the world. I think working up the courage and facing the heat was amazing on your part. For all of us, it's a roll of the dice; some of lose and some of us win. One day I will do as you did. Best wishes to you and yours.

[Kerigirl2009]

Kristen, Congrats just remember now that that 10,000 lb weight is lifted from your chest your wife is holding onto a lot of that extra weight you released and she may not be able to take hold of it all the time. She might need a break every once in a while. I hope all goes well and that she will share with you that other side of who you are. Good luck and remember listen to what she is saying. Don't just hear her.

[sherri52]

That's great Kristin. From what I read it sounds like your wife is going to be very supportive. Congrats to you for taking the courage to bring it out. It is much better when we tell than when we get caught or get outed by someone else.

[KristinSkye]

That's great Kristin. From what I read it sounds like your wife is going to be very supportive. Congrats to you for taking the courage to bring it out. It is much better when we tell than when we get caught or get outed by someone else.

We both agreed that me coming to her and telling her was much better than her finding out some other way. The ONLY thing she was mad at me for was that I didn't tell her years ago, but she also understood how difficult is was telling her after 4 years of knowing each other.

[pattyv]

Kristin: What a beautiful story. I'm so happy for you and your wife.It is obvious that your wife is an intelligent person, and like most intelligent people has a curious mind.Your honesty in all matters will make her relaxed, and I can see that, notwithstanding the immediate confusion your revelation might cause her,she will be the one to push the envelope further.I also detect great intimacy in your relationship, and this will weather all storms. You are leaving the darkness of winter, and spring will bring a host of new blossoms in your marriage.

[Holly]

Kristen, that's great news. I can only enforce what the others have said and moderate your enthusiasm. Your wife will continue to process the information and you may very well see her go through different stages of understanding. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, just be prepared to reinforce your position and to support her in her quest to understand what you are going through.

As an aside, your fantasy about going out as two girls can have some unexpected (and humorous) situations. My wife and I had gone to the theater to see The Producers a couple of years ago. I was en femme and we were both dressed nicely for a formal evening out. After the show, we stopped at a lounge to enjoy an adult beverage. A nicely dressed gentleman riding a handicapped scooter approached our table and started hitting on... MY WIFE!! Although it turned out okay (the man had been enjoying adult beverages for some time and his wife came to the rescue), it was one scenario we had not envisioned and took us both by a bit of surprise. My wife confessed later that she was flattered and I sure don't blame her. I must confess I felt somewhat helpless as the "girlfriend" when it first started.

My very best wishes as you and your wife join on this journey together.

[angelfire]

Awesome news Kristin! Definitely a tough thing to do, but it's definitely for the best in the end. Hopefully once she has had time to digest it, everything works out really well for both of you, as I'm sure it will.

[carolinoakland]

wooo hoooo yay!!!!!! doin the girlie dance wooo hoooo. go step on a scale girl cause I know you're feeling weightless... thank you for sharing this... now for the rest of it...
one. and this is soooo big and important...RESPECT. HER . BOUNDARIES.

Remember this as important... you feel relieved that you don't have to be in the closet, but guess who's in there now? Yep. Her. And she can't talk about this with anybody she knows. Which is how women work through things, with their family and friends. But she can't share this can she?? So, be there for her. And know that the best thing of all is that she wants to meet 'her'. let her know that you are you and that you love her. Carol

[JamieG]

It sounds like you're off to a great start Kristin. Just know that your wife may go through periods of confusion and less acceptance; I know mine did when I told her. If this happens, please, be patient and understanding and be as supportive as possible. Don't try to move to fast and always keep the lines of communication open. I wish both of you the best!

[aggi123]

wow I am soooo incredibly jealous of you. I have the courage to tell my friends, but my girlfriend scares me to death. Congratulations!

[ReineD]

Wow, congratulations! I am so happy it went so well.

If it seems that your wife is less accepting after a little while, it will only be because there are things that she doesn't understand. It will not mean that she is changing her mind. Should this happen, you are more than welcome to invite her to this forum and join FAB.

Also, please try to be sensitive to her feelings, even more so than usual. Some wives are reluctant to tell their husbands when they feel it is too much, for fear of seeming non-supportive.

[Michelle Lynn A]

Wow... Truly I don't think that could have gone any better for you. You will be in 7th heaven in a few months. When I told my girlfriend it went good but not anything like that Hugs Michelle

[NathalieX66]

Friggin' Awesome!