Depression.......

[Christina Horton]

Hi as some of you might know I had a date tonight and she canceled, Here's the link to that story.....http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=126059 My girl friends Roberta be for she left to go home after the Vango meet, She said " now don't be depressed hun" . I told her that it takes a lot to depress me. That got me thinking I never really have been depressed before. Even when I could not go out dressed I just got happier.

So how have you girl deal with your own problems in the past. I am hoping that if you tell people how you got through it and were you are now it might just help them be happier and have more fun with life.

I have always been a happy person and never really get down. The girl friend prob I have (meaning the lack of a girl friend) I weighing heavily and I want to meet my dream girl and I need her to like my CD other wise if she can't then I don't want her . That will not get me down but in the small case that it might I would love to know how to help myself to get out of the funk.

SO lets help out or fellow sister brothers and SOs with some great advice here. Thanks for you time.

[ErikaLeigh]

Well I say look on the bright side and just know that you didnt have to go through the getting attached part before finding out it wouldnt work.

And to get out of the funk............ GO SHOPPING!!! (and a pint of ben & jerrys wont hurt either)

[jasmine57]

I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you. Like Erika said, try a little shopping. When I get depressed, nothing cheers me up more than a new outfit.

[Karren H]

Awwwww. I rarely get depressed but I have a sure fire way to get undepressed... CHOCOLATE... Lots and lots of it.. And maybe move somewhere further away from the Artic Circle!

[Gillian]

In the past three years I have had a real excuse to be depressed but have not fallen into the mode at all
I left a job that was stable of income but had a total psycho as a Managing Director a Bully and a letch, a man I loathed, but the money was good, so Ileft to do my own thing, literally I am an Interior Designer and went to work with a small company who wanted to start a division with me running it, Anyway you get the idea.

In the past three years I am out of pocket probably £75 grand UK pounds. This is reason 1 for being depressed
Reason 2. In June this comapny was forced into liquidation due to the recession. My part was busy, very in fact but that wasn't enough, so in June I was faced with no income and losing our home.
Did I lose faith, no! I am one of lifes optomists I love life never have it easy as many do but always manage to survive somehow. I picked up a good job in a wonderful company two weeks after I was finished and am doing OK if not Magnificent.

I always look for the good in people and that has cost me dear in money and faith, but still I believe in the good of others and though not a church going christian, I live by the code of doing kindness and being of good spirit.

I could have easily got depressed and given in but my spirit wouldn't let me quit!

[Kate Simmons]

As they say Hon, stop looking and that person will find you.

[Christina Horton]

Thank for all the good advice. As I said I am not depressed and I always look on the bright side of life. I hope this will help others that might be.

As they say Hon, stop looking and that person will find you.

Hay fro the last 8 years I have not been looking and that did not help. LOL . So I guess I will have to continue doing so.

[MAJESTYK]

I agree with Karen chocolate, lots of chocolate!!! ..I am sorry it worked out that way for you though.

[Loni]

as a life long person with depression, it comes and goes, even to the point of mini mood changes a day.
hard to tell someone when they are down "it will get better" but it will.
no drug, or food, etc will cure you, only give you something to focus on..good/bad in one.

much better she was a no show, than getting dumped in the middle of the date.

must be something about truck drivers...we have a hard life..with no life.

.

[Slim Jim]

I have always been a happy person and never really get down. The girl friend prob I have (meaning the lack of a girl friend) I weighing heavily and I want to meet my dream girl and I need her to like my CD other wise if she can't then I don't want her . That will not get me down but in the small case that it might I would love to know how to help myself to get out of the funk.

I can tell you this in case you haven't figured it out already. cd-ing on the first date is a very bad idea. It's almost a 100% guarantee that the girl will cancel on you.
You can certainly tell the person what you're about without doing this on the first date.

[Nicole Erin]

maybe start dating men instead?

[Christina Horton]

maybe start dating men instead?

Oh is that a proposal hun!!! EH EH EH!!!!!!

No I am not interested in dating men......unless he has billions of $$$$$ and will give me it for dating him lol.

[sherri52]

Christina: Try just getting a date. Near the end of the date tell her about your cd'ing. At least give the girl a chance to know you a few hours before you decide to tell her. She may not be the one and you won't tell her or maybe you do tell her and she decides your not the one. At least have a night of enjoyment.

[Rogina B]

What Sherri said....Talk first,have a good time,and if it is worth telling,THEN SPILL THE BEANS!! Get back on the horse after you have fallen!

[Sarah Doepner]

There are big differences in types of depression, some are situational and others are brain chemistry. For the latter you really need professional help that could even include medication. A do-it-yourself approach to clinical depression could be a disaster.

For the situational depression, like having nothing work in your favor for an extended time, chocolate, shopping, dressing and most important, accepting yourself all can help. The best thing is to understand yourself enough to admit there is room to improve, but have enough confidence to know that other peoples issues are theirs alone.

[TerryTerri]

As they say Hon, stop looking and that person will find you.

I really agree and my personal thing is:

Instead of looking for the 'right' person, focus your efforts on 'being' the right person.

Many years ago when I was initialy getting sober my sponsor had me descibe my idea mate to him. Then, he pointed out that if the person who fit that description walked in the door they probably wouldn't have anything to do with me (at that point in time) because I had nothing to offer. That was my lead-in to realize that if I want a mate with qualities I desire, I need to work on having those qualities myself (such and intergrity, honesty, faithfulness, intimacy, communication, etc.). So, I say to others when they are talking about finding that 'right' someone. Be the right someone!

btw, my spouse found out VERY early in our dating (like on the first date, she asked a question that she didn't really realize what she asked. I took a deep breath and told the truth.) about my CDing. Due to the way it was handled, telling her the truth and not trying to hide or deceive, I ended up impressing her more than the "negative" of the CDing.

[Nicole Erin]

The dating scene in general sucks.

Right now a relationship is the last thing I want. However, I imagine if I ever do decide to start dating again, it is not gonna be fun in the least.

See when people are younger, say like teens and early 20's, it is easy, everyone is mostly on a level playing field. The older one gets, the more differences and baggage come with finding a person to date.

I mean like me - Alright, looks are low on the priority list cause I am not good looking myself (how many people really ARE after they hit 30?), but I would not want someone with a lot of health problems or mental issues like a bipolar or manic depressive. I wouldn't care about her income. If she were to have young kids, NOPE. Religion and politics are not issues.

Well the point is, it is so hard to find a good match for anyone.
For someone who has good looks, a lot of money, and a good personality, well they have their pick of the choice but for the rest of us, we have to work around our shortcomings.

Christina, the best thing to do is to try several different people. Don't take rejection personal.
Think of finding a good mate like looking for your car keys.
You look in the dresser,Not there, behind the lamp, nope, on the kitchen counter, nope, atop the fridge, nope, in the pants you wore yesterday, nope, on the bathroom counter, HA! there they are!
Once found, none of the failed spots matter.
Even if you THINK you have dating prospects, STILL keep looking with it in mind "If Jenny doesn't work out, I will try Nancy, if that doesn't work, I will call Brenda, then Julie, then Tammy, then..."
And never really count on any one of them. Assume they might be no-shows and keep looking.

Shallow method of dating? Yes, but that is how a lot of guys do it, they will hit on everyone they can. You might get 1,000 "no's" but then 1001 will say "yes".

Now go get'em you fiesty bitch!