Needing some advice...

[Jennaie]

Just the statement that you made saying, "at first, she was uncomfortable with it", tells me that you are heading down a dead end road. You love her? you want her? you better let her wear the panties and you be the guy.

If the situation were different and she actually loved the fact that you liked to play dress-up and be the girl, it could very well work, but women who only tolerate your dressing because they care about you soon grow tired of "the other woman".

A woman needs to feel that she is the only woman, that she is adored and that you only desire her.

I'm just saying.... so be true to yourself, but be realistic about it too.

[Rianna Humble]

I appreciate all the great help. It looks like she and I will have to have a talk this weekend. If I start out by explaining gently that while I enjoy the panty wearing and play we have, I have an urge to take it further, I guess I'll just have to lay it out there and let the chips fall where they may. Here's hoping it goes well...

Whilst this has also got to be about what you want, you are in a relationship where the wants and needs of both partners are paramount.

I would not start by explaining your urge, but by asking her about her feelings. How does she truly feel about the amount of dressing and play you currently have? How would she feel about you taking it a step further?

Then you can explain about what happened last time and emphasise that you don't want to make the same mistakes.

If she asks why you never told her this to start with, be honest and tell her about your feelings both then and now.

Don't just set out your stall and let the chips fall where they may (to mix some metaphors), make her understand that you want to respect her feelings and she will be more likely to respect yours.

[lilmissemily]

I wouldn't say that she was "uncomfortable" at first, I'd just say she didn't understand. She says she enjoys our occasional play, and even surprises me with purchases of new panties. My concern now is how to incorporate full dressing –*if at all. If it's something she would rather me do in private without her, I do understand – I just have to know.

[Christina Horton]

in my previous relationship. But there wasn't much to it –*I never went out dressed, was usually only dressed when me and my GF were being sexual, etc. Only a few times did I dress fully without there being a sexual element......
I'm 100 percent convinced I'm straight...... Once I purged, I thought I would be happy just wearing panties and lingerie. Because honestly, panties are what excite me the most.......The reason for the thread is that now I'm starting to feel what was a first a slight urge to dress fully. But it seems to be growing, thus my need for help.........You'll never know what it means to me.

Ok been dressed for sex is also how alot her got started and it progressed to the point of going out dressed. There are some whom only dress at home , ETC. Everyone is different and will want more or less then others. If you think (SHE) is wanting out and to go out dressed then guess what hun......I think (SHE) will one day push it and be OUT.

You say your straight , so am I and lots of girls here to , But we need to express our fem-side some times or all the times. There is not a right way or a wrong way to do this just you need to do whats in your heart and be happy. Cuz if your not happy or like yourself then How can you LOVE YOURSELF!!!1


If it is building then I bet you with in a year will want more and if you tell your GF you only want to wear a little under garments well your setting yourself up for a huge fall and your GF will be hurt the most cuz you (lied to her) even if you (are lying to yourself) and don't know it yet.

Just as I said tell her your not sure how far you might need to take this and it could be all the way to dressing full time or worse yet in the very slight case maybe even SRS. I have a friends that started out just dressing and now she is thinking of SRS and that was not even in her mind at the onset of her CDing.Just make sure it something you both will always keep an open dialog going.

As for "You'll never know what it means to me." Trust me we have all been there with the needing advice and that advice helping us so much. I gained strength and courage form the girls and GGs here and with out them I would not be the women I am today. I thank God for this site and the girls and Guys here. I have learned so much and looks like your on the same path as I.

Just keep an open mind and never say never ever.

Remember only you can prevent forest fires only you....Oh sorry Smokey was talking through me ....Remember only you can say what you need you just have to know that the urge to dress may go up and down but they will never ( Oh I told you to never say that Oh Shit) go away. Food for thought!!!!

[ReineD]

Once I purged, I thought I would be happy just wearing panties and lingerie. Because honestly, panties are what excite me the most. I wear them almost full-time (I did wear full-time in my previous relationship). The reason for the thread is that now I'm starting to feel what was a first a slight urge to dress fully. But it seems to be growing, thus my need for help.

Emily, this says it all. I know it is important to strike a balance with your partner's needs too, but you cannot deny yourself. It will only get worse if you are not up front with her. Your love is new and right now you may feel that you can compromise. But the first flush of romance will fade in a few years. If you are already wanting to express your femininity more than just wearing underthings, it will be too easy to get into the push/pull of having you want to dress more and having her wanting you to dress less, if she is led to understand that you only want to wear panties.

She deserves to be told the truth now. Think of it this way: if you didn't have a gf, how much CDing would you be doing? Usually after having perfected a look, a CDer moves on to needing to go out and interact with others en femme (TG support groups, shopping, dining out, etc). Your gf can choose to participate or not, but she needs to know your needs so there will be no surprises down the line.

Your relationship will stand a much better chance at succeeding if you can be clear with her now.

[lilmissemily]

Thank you all. I guess I'm going to have to take the leap of faith and tell her how I feel. Hopefully she will understand and be supportive, even if she doesn't want to share this with me.

[Fab Karen]

( stops dialing the FBI ) Ohhh, you didn't murder someone. You're talking about yourself.
A leopard doesn't change its spots. Honest communication is key to a healthy relationship- done tactfully of course. Sometimes compromises are needed- and that does not mean ONE person doing all the compromising.

[charlie]

Hello Emily!
Sit down with your girlfriend and let her help you set the limits of Emily that she can cope with. Women usually seem not to want to have a lesbian in the house. They want their man. They can put up with fun quirks, but usually not a full time woman. Sit down and set limits. If she does not want Emily in bed with her, so be it. Maybe she does, but does not want Emily to go to tea with her. Limits my friend is the answer, rather then you finding the limits by exceeding them and being left.

[Samantha B L]

Emily,Crossdressing is almost certainly hormonal or somehow neurological in nature. It probably runs in families. You can quit for awhile but it always comes back. I think CD's should always thoroughly discuss their dressing with anybody they develope a fulltime serious relationship with. Being a CD doesn't mean you're perverted or sick.

[5150 Girl]

...Apparently, according to her, I got so wrapped up in being Emily (wanting to have Emily be in the bedroom, wanting to dress as Emily more, etc.) that she began to resent her –*and my male self in the process.

But now I'm starting to feel like maybe Emily wants to come back. I don't have a wig anymore, or forms, or any clothes aside from lingerie. But sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to be her again.

Of course you do,,, this life is imprinted into your DNA, and there isn't thing one you can do to change that!

What you and your girlfiend have to do is sit down and talk about expectations, and boundries. You have to strike a balance between your desires and wants and your girlfriends desires and wants.

Yep, that sounds about right...
and while you're at it, plese go read my post in the "loved Ones' forum, slugged "When kitty met Polarbear"

[lilmissemily]

Ok, a quick update...

So we talked last weekend, and I told her I wanted to expand my dressing. She told me that while she is comfortable with the panties and lingerie, she wants to wait a little before seeing anything else. She said she totally supports me, and I'm welcome to do whatever I like when she's not around, but she isn't ready for the full Emily yet.

[Rianna Humble]

That's progress, take it at her pace and you may be surprised how well it goes.

[JulieC]

Ok, a quick update...

So we talked last weekend, and I told her I wanted to expand my dressing. She told me that while she is comfortable with the panties and lingerie, she wants to wait a little before seeing anything else. She said she totally supports me, and I'm welcome to do whatever I like when she's not around, but she isn't ready for the full Emily yet.

Sounds fantastic! Abide by her wishes.