How do you deal with peoples reactions?

[Naomi Rayne]

As CDers there are many types of reactions we may possibly get due to many different things. Style is all personal choice, but being "different" is frowned upon in society. I have been working more and more to understand and decipher just what i want out of my want to CD and sometimes it has put me a bit on the sidelines because i do not want to out myself in some way or show that i am different in some way in order to avoid the potential bad reactions that are out there.

Lately i have been big on toenails and fingernails. I have been painting my toenails for a couple months now and i recently started to paint my fingernails in a french manicure style. Nobody has yet to notice my fingernails and say something about them to me if they had noticed.

Being that its the summer where i am i have had plenty of opportunities to go swimming with friends. I have held back because none of my friends know about me and i do not want to take off my toenail polish just to swim and then have to put it back on at some other time because i enjoy having my toenails painted.

For those of you that do paint your nails or toenails or do something else that can be particularly noticeable, What are some of the reactions you have gotten from others? (good or bad) How do you deal with the bad reactions? How have you learned to overcome them and not worry so much about what others might think?

[AmberDay]

I cause confusion with a lot of people. My coworkers do not know about me but have noticed I shave my legs, wear pink earings, and grow out my fingernails and coat them with clear shiny nail polish. They say,"Did you paint your nails Jason?" or "Do you shave your legs?" I say yes, but they also know I am married so they have this look that things aren't adding up. I'm not going to tell them I crossdress, but not going to completly hide it.

On another note, I had my nails painted silver while eating at Bob Evan's and our waitress complemented them. I gave her an extra two dollar tip.

Amber

[Gerrijerry]

well you say you have your finger nails done. People notice them. However co-workers and friends would not normally say anything about it. They may talk to each other but not to you. So since you are already out with your finger nails no one will reallt care about your toes. IN fact I would expect that they would think you have them done already. Go swimming enjoy. If some one says something just say yes they are manicured and polished I prefer them that way. Nothing more 99% of people are curious but in our world today people know what CD are and REALLY MOST DO NOT CARE.

[abigail43]

I go out all the time and people are always looking and in strange ways I often get looks of unbelief and comments from children about look mummy taht man is wearing a dress you just have to learn to ignore these things it is not about what others think it is about me and how I feel , I figure as long as I am not hurting any one then I see it as a learning experience for others .If they only knew how ignorant they were.

[Naomi Rayne]

well you say you have your finger nails done. People notice them. However co-workers and friends would not normally say anything about it. They may talk to each other but not to you. So since you are already out with your finger nails no one will reallt care about your toes. IN fact I would expect that they would think you have them done already. Go swimming enjoy. If some one says something just say yes they are manicured and polished I prefer them that way. Nothing more 99% of people are curious but in our world today people know what CD are and REALLY MOST DO NOT CARE.

My fingernails are done. But not enough that its obvious. I keep my natural pink tone of the fingers and add off white to my tips. The biggest thing that people would notice before the off white is that they are shiny. But my toes i paint colors.
In regards to my friends or people that im with i would think most of them were just curious, but i also think there are a couple that would have nothing all that nice to say. These are the ones i am worried about, not so much because i would have to stand up for myself, thats no problem, but it could cause that awkward atmosphere among people.

[Christina Horton]

Lately i have been big on toenails and fingernails. I have been painting my toenails for a couple months now and i recently started to paint my fingernails in a french manicure style. Nobody has yet to notice my fingernails and say something about them to me if they had noticed................Being that its the summer where i am i have had plenty of opportunities to go swimming with friends. I have held back because none of my friends know about me and i do not want to take off my toenail polish just to swim and then have to put it back on at some other time because i enjoy having my toenails painted.

Ok well first of all. If you have french tips people will notice them . Will they say anything No. Guys will not say anything unless the nails are PINK , Why I'm not sure but that way what happened to me when I had my nails painted and long for a year 24/7. The women would comment on the but the men would only comment on my nails when they were PINK. GO figger Tigger!!!!!

They won't say anything cuz they don't know what to say. I would be talking to someone and I would watch them glance and my hands and do that like once every few seconds . It was soooooooo Funny. But yes people who you know know you have french tips. Sorry it's just a fact.

I made a thread about my nails I had for a year and will give you the link.http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=115011

No one cares that your nails are painted but they are curious as to why but can't ask .

as for dealing with peoples reactions , I just look people in the eye when out dressed and smile to them. Remember when they see one of us , it could very well be the first time they have ever seen a CD. Like the first time you see a movie or TV star in person. You want to talk to them but are afraid to. Or just want to stare at them . Same type of thing here just that we don't make the same kind of money. LOL.

If people are going to read you then show them that wee just people to and be so nice that when they tell there friends all about the CD the saw that they say "and she ahh er He....what ever was soooo nice too." That way its a good thing.EH.

[Naomi Rayne]

Ok well first of all. If you have french tips people will notice them . Will they say anything No. Guys will not say anything unless the nails are PINK , Why I'm not sure but that way what happened to me when I had my nails painted and long for a year 24/7. The women would comment on the but the men would only comment on my nails when they were PINK. GO figger Tigger!!!!!

They won't say anything cuz they don't know what to say. I would be talking to someone and I would watch them glance and my hands and do that like once every few seconds . It was soooooooo Funny. But yes people who you know know you have french tips. Sorry it's just a fact.

I made a thread about my nails I had for a year and will give you the link.http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=115011

No one cares that your nails are painted but they are curious as to why but can't ask .

as for dealing with peoples reactions , I just look people in the eye when out dressed and smile to them. Remember when they see one of us , it could very well be the first time they have ever seen a CD. Like the first time you see a movie or TV star in person. You want to talk to them but are afraid to. Or just want to stare at them . Same type of thing here just that we don't make the same kind of money. LOL.

If people are going to read you then show them that wee just people to and be so nice that when they tell there friends all about the CD the saw that they say "and she ahh er He....what ever was soooo nice too." That way its a good thing.EH.

This was very well put. I got a lot more confidence out of this for some reason. So thank you . Its strange that guys wont comment on them unless they are pink. Of course women would be the ones who would notice more because they get their nails done and would be much more in tune ( i guess you could call it that) with noticing the difference.

I read your post on the nails and first i would like to tell you that i love them, both the pink and the other ones. It must be nice to have long acrylic nails. My natural nails have the potential to grow that long as i have very nice natural nails so i let them grow. although they are not that long they are decently noticeable. In the end it does not matter what people say and i do not care how they react. I was more so curious about how others dealt with the bad reactions of people because i have just started doing this to my nails and could be potentially noticeable to certain people.

My SO is very supportive of me and does not mind if they are painted. I also have a select few friends that do know i CD and encourage me to do as i please because after all its just paint. My SO has also told me that she doesnt usually notice the white tips. More so what she does notice is when they catch the light. So they very first thing is that they are shiney. Which i have no trouble with because i have been putting a clear coat over my nails for quite some time now and only had one or 2 people notice which was no big deal.

[Nicole Erin]

I no longer care what people think. As long as there is not a threat of violence, I don't even pay attention. I have had good and bad reactions to who I am. I just don't care.

[Fab Karen]

First of all, if a friend would shun you because of it, they aren't your friend. As for strangers, as long as violence is not involved, who cares what they think? Look at it the same way as if in guy-mode you chose to go around in a day-glo pink suit ( actually you'd get noticed a LOT more that way than dr.a.g. )

[Chickhe]

How about making the first move... Say, I'll go swimming, but don't ask me about my painted toenails... or just say you have some nail fungi and had to paint them with the medicine, but they looked yellow so your wife painted them red so that they looked better!

[Diane Elizabeth]

For those that think coworkers won't say anything, I beg to differ. I have several obnoxious loud uncouth co-workers that love to pry into my personal life. So until I am ready to come out into the open I will not paint my fingernails for work.

[Naomi Rayne]

How about making the first move... Say, I'll go swimming, but don't ask me about my painted toenails... or just say you have some nail fungi and had to paint them with the medicine, but they looked yellow so your wife painted them red so that they looked better!

I love this idea lol. I am trying to find ways to fit it in. Today i took the paint off to go swimming and the GG's i was with were talking about nail polish and i wanted to just be like oh yeah i have great polishes too, sorry that i took mine off for you gals haha. In the end i couldnt bring myself to do it but the thought was funny.

For those that think coworkers won't say anything, I beg to differ. I have several obnoxious loud uncouth co-workers that love to pry into my personal life. So until I am ready to come out into the open I will not paint my fingernails for work.

I dont really have co-workers like that but i can definitely understand that decision.

[Jamie001]

NO DON'T MAKE EXCUSES! There is no reason to be ashamed. Just tell people that you like having red toenails. It's really that simple.

How about making the first move... Say, I'll go swimming, but don't ask me about my painted toenails... or just say you have some nail fungi and had to paint them with the medicine, but they looked yellow so your wife painted them red so that they looked better!

[AriannaVillota]

I'm past the point of caring what others think. It gets to the point where I only have enough energy to worry about myself. =)

[Christina Horton]

How about making the first move... Say, I'll go swimming, but don't ask me about my painted toenails... or just say you have some nail fungi and had to paint them with the medicine, but they looked yellow so your wife painted them red so that they looked better!

Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why....make any excuse on your painted nails. If they ask just say you like them that way and so does your SO and leave it at that. If your not ready to (come out) don't say any more if you don't care what they think just tell them your CD. 99% of the people I tell just go "oh ok " some thinks it's neat others just don't understand.But all don't have any real prob with it cuz "I ANT THERE FEET OR HANDS PEOPLE"............."THERE YOURS" ! But thats just my thoughts on it. Make up your own mind and do what YOU want. That's all anyone can do.

[Naomi Rayne]

Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why....make any excuse on your painted nails. If they ask just say you like them that way and so does your SO and leave it at that. If your not ready to (come out) don't say any more if you don't care what they think just tell them your CD. 99% of the people I tell just go "oh ok " some thinks it's neat others just don't understand.But all don't have any real prob with it cuz "I ANT THERE FEET OR HANDS PEOPLE"............."THERE YOURS" ! But thats just my thoughts on it. Make up your own mind and do what YOU want. That's all anyone can do.

Its not that your wrong, because your not. I just cant bring myself to not hide them. Its some wall i just cant seem to get over. I am working on it though. Little by little.

[Joanne f]

I have my finger nails done in what i would call a translucent (had to be trans) purple all the time and even when people notice they really say anything apart from "i like your nails" but this week i have changed it to a pink/movie sort of colour which has sparkly bits in it ,OK a bit young for me but i like it, and i have noticed that i am getting a reaction from females when i pay for something , they seam to be more friendly and one even touched my hand in a odd way , but yesterday i did have a young girl who served me at the checkout and kept look in disbelief which brought a big smile to my face .

[Mirani]

How about making the first move... Say, I'll go swimming, but don't ask me about my painted toenails... or just say you have some nail fungi and had to paint them with the medicine, but they looked yellow so your wife painted them red so that they looked better!

Don't start down that one. It is silly and obviously not true.
So:

Q "Why do you paint your nails?"
A "I like to"
Q "Why?"
A "I don't need to justify it - as I said I like to"
Q "But painting nails is for women"
A "Obviously not"
Q "Doesn't make sense to me"
A "Never mind"

End of.

[Joanne f]

That has just reminded me of a time when i went into a local supermarket with red varnish on and i went to the checkout and it was someone i know and also know she is bit of a nosey bitch , Q" Why have you got red varnish on "
A "because it is not blue" a spaced out look from her and just carried on , and knowing her she told everyone after me about it .

[marlacd]

I use swimming as an excuse to change the color of my toenails!

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I've never really had a bad reaction from other people while dressed, particurely straight people. I go out to a gay place in brsbane and a few straight gg's go there with freinds. One night a girl said my make-up did'nt suit me, but thats the only bad feedback i've had. Mostly, i get great feedback cause i always wear formal whatever the occasion. I like long dresses, skirts so I always wear them out whenever I get the chance. However, sometimes other cd's have had something to say like "Why do you always wear long flowing dresses, you should show some leg". i've been honest, i'm not into shorter skirts or dresses, plus I think longer dresses are more lady-like.

[Katheryn]

Being that its the summer where i am i have had plenty of opportunities to go swimming with friends. I have held back because none of my friends know about me and i do not want to take off my toenail polish just to swim and then have to put it back on at some other time because i enjoy having my toenails painted.

A suggestion there as I am a pedi fan....


They make waterproof swim shoes that cover toes pretty well, I have a pair by Nike. They're not high heeled however....

For those of you that do paint your nails or toenails or do something else that can be particularly noticeable, What are some of the reactions you have gotten from others? (good or bad) How do you deal with the bad reactions? How have you learned to overcome them and not worry so much about what others might think?

I had a full set of acrylics done for a trip to North Carolina. The hills on the west side. Other than getting stopped at each airport for a security check, no problems. Got some strange stares by some of the locals at restaurants, but got a few compliments from some of the young ladies working at stores in Boone where we stopped for a day.

Kate

[Jenny Doolittle]

Confidence = Dressing for yourself and not for others.

[wanagione]

I shave my arms, legs, well ,everything. I work mostly with gg's i know they notice it but they don't say anything to me at all about it. As for outside of work, no one really says anything about it at all. I do have one ear pierced, they noticed that and did ask me about it. but that has been 2 years now and its do common its not an issue.

[Mi$$ Despair]

I never had a prob with anybody concerning my nails or eyemakeup in my male mode, few second takes by tough rednecky guys but they don't give a shit and go about.

Only go outside in female mode for gigs and few other events I'm asked to attend, so everyone expects it.