So, I'm 29 years old and have been wearing womens clothes for as long as I can remember. I used to feel guilt, shame and embarrassment for it and over the last 2 years I have overcome those fears and have finally admitted to myself that this is a part of me, and rather than hide from it, I choose to embrace it. I came out to my girlfriend and she supported me, however over the months to come, we decided that we both want different things out of our relationship.
Having just become comfortable enough admitting it to myself, I had a hard time casting aside my preconceived notions of how she felt about it. I felt ready to wear clothing all the time immediately, and failed to communicate over those months what I wanted from her, and the attention I felt I was getting.
I had no clothes, and I was hoping that she would offer to take me shopping to pick out some outfits and grew frustrated and angry that she didn't know what I wanted from her. It's hard for her though, when I don't tell her...
Before I go off on a huge long spiel about my life, I just wanted to take the opportunity to introduce myself as Nikole. I recently told my friend, and he finally convinced me to just go and buy some stuff. It took about a year, but I finally got up the courage to go to the mall (starting at Victoria's Secret) and just start talking to a sales associate. I stopped myself about one hundred times from the parking lot to the store entrance, but finally, heart racing, palms sweaty and being totally unsure of what I was going to say, I stepped into the store.
After about 5 minutes wandering around aimlessly, a woman approached me and asked 'Can I help you?' 'Yes', I replied, 'I'm looking for an outfit, something to be worn around the house, comfortable, but not too (skanky I believe is the word I used)'. She asked if I knew what size, and earlier that morning I trotted through countless websites educating me on how to take measurements, so I handed her the slip of paper with all sorts of measurements. I leaned in towards her and slightly whispered "They're mine." I was so relieved when she barely batted an eye and proceeded to show me all sorts of clothing. She asked questions, gave advice, helped me pick out the right sizes and laughed at my comment about how I finally understand how it takes girls all day to shop. Find the right top, no bottom, right bottom, no topI can't even explain what a relief it was to be given top-notch assistance during such a difficult experience. She made me feel human, respected and the whole 2 hours we talked I never once felt judged or conscientious of the experience. She gave me the confidence to check out other stores where I found equally good customer service and friendly sales associates. I did go into a few stores while looking for a specific dress and got a few short answers and odd stares, but I just shrugged it off and kept going.
I would never have thought that my first shopping experience could be such a fun, non-threatening time. I really had a lot of fun and feel blessed to have had such a wonderful experience. I feel awful knowing many people in this situation have a hard time, and all I can say is you are human, and damn those who are too closed minded to let you choose for yourself who you want to be and how you want to dress.
This is my first post on this forum, and I look forward to sharing my experience with others. I also wanted to share a picture of the spoils of my first shopping trip. I look forward to getting to know many of you, and hope I can learn from and share with this community.
Please take a look at my purchase
Pic List
'My First Shop.jpg' = The spoils of war
'Sexy Top.jpg' = A nice sexy piece of nightwear (I love tight clothes)
'Zipper Front.jpg' = The cutest pencil skirt I ever did see, however I do have a question... Where does the zipper go! Lol, the tags are in the back, but I don't know if I should wear it with the zipper on the front, or off to the side. (Your pointers are more than welcome
Thanks for listening, I have a lot to say to someone who will hear me.
Originally Posted by Jayme
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