Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 64

Thread: My crossdressing boyfriend takes hormones

  1. #1
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    17

    My crossdressing boyfriend takes hormones

    I have a boyfriend (for 4 months) who is a crossdresser (since age 6, now 30). I am okay with that. I enjoy shopping for him and letting him try different styles. I took him out a few times as girl and we both had good time. However, I assume that my boyfriend is a man who enjoys dressing occasstionally. I love that.

    Recently he told me that he took hormones and it has been 6 months since he started. I was devastated because I thought he wanted to be a woman and I am not a lesbian. He started the hormones with a careless mind. He looks very good as a man but he wants to achieve the female figure just a little bit. He took the pills.

    He still lives as a man and he is happy about that. However, I notice some changes on his body. Breasts developed. His sex drive is very low now and we can't have sex. His facial structure changes.

    His mind changes. He grows his hair long because he thinks it's okay. He shapes his eye brows in girls shape. He grows nails like girls nails. He thinks it's okay to wear girls sun glasses on streets. He constantly thinks about makeup and clothes. He wants to be treated like girls. He gets moody and furious at me if I don't take him to clothes shops.

    He admits he is addicted to those hormone pills. They make him feel relax and easy going. Don't feel competitive. I think he loses any motivation in career. I ask him to stop the pills. He said he can't.

    He doesn't mind him having breasts but I do. I think it's hormones making him think like that. I don't know what he wants to be (man/woman). And he doesn't know that either. He just took hormones and that's it.

    Now we need help because my boyfriend doesn't want to lose his my part. He begins to realise that hormones affect his brain. He doesn't want to lose me and I never want to lose him. I am in fears. He said he loves being woman and feels okay being a man. I don't know what I should do and what he wants to do.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    St.Louis
    Posts
    562
    Sounds like to me both of you need to do some deep searching on what you want he sounds more confused hes says he loves being awoman but also likes being a man if he keeps on taking the hormones sooner or later he is going to be all woman. Just my two cents worth from a guy who just likes the clothes.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Baltimore Maryland
    Posts
    19,641
    This sounds like you both are on a collision course you both need to talk to a therapist ASAP
    otherwise this isn't going to end well.

    Orchid

  4. #4
    </3 CatAttack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    834
    Well first of all, hormones isn't something one should mess around carelessly with. Secondly, it was not very cool of him to be on hormones and not tell you. Him getting mad at you for not taking him clothes shopping is also not very cool. It sounds like this problem can only be overcome by you two sitting down and having a long talk over the issues, or perhaps get some professional help. You guys really need to figure out what he wants/needs to do, and the only way to figure it out is by talking about it. I think, and this is just my opinion based on what you wrote, that deep down he does want to be female, but he knows that you disapprove of it and he loves you, so he tells you that he is happy with being male. If he is truly happy with being a man, then why would he take hormones, grow out his hair, shape his brows, want to be treated as a female etc..? He may claim to just be a crossdresser, but crossdressers generally only want to like, emulate/"look like" a woman. They will dress up or whatever and then be done with it, take off their wig and makeup, and return to being a man.
    like shooting stars in a barrel

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Jeanna's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    980
    I think that you should know that hormone pills are non-addictive. They are a very serious medication.Did he get the medication from a Dr.? If so then he has convinced some professional that he is trans,or, is he self medicating? If he is, he could wind up very sick or dead. It seems that he has the desire to be a woman and you want a man and you both want each other. Do you really think that this will work out?

  6. #6
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    17
    My boyfriend is self medicating.

    He does love me and keeps saying "don't give up on me". I do love him but I cannot be with him if he chooses to live as woman. I like him being crossdresser, not a woman.
    Last edited by Sandra; 09-24-2011 at 02:23 PM. Reason: merged consecutive posts please use the edit/multiquote function

  7. #7
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    4,932
    "My crossdressing boyfriend takes hormones"

    Well, he's eventually going to be your non-crossdressing girlfriend!

    No, seriously, you have to decide how much you love him (her). It's OK to be a lesbian if you love your partner, there's no law (well there are some but they are being changed) that says the person you love has to be of the opposite sex.

    You were given advice above to see a therapist. I think that's good advice. You should go as a couple.

    Your partner can obviously stop taking hormone pills if he wants to. Apparently, he doesn't really want to.

    And of course, "self medication" can easily get him in lots of health trouble. If he is going to continue, it needs to be under medical supervision.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  8. #8
    Senior Member donnalee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1,205
    Anything can be psychologically addictive; the only things that I know have a physical addiction are nicotine and opiates. I think this is one of those "We have to talk" moments. Ask him if he is under medical care and explain that you are worried about his health. Try to get an understanding of why he is doing this, whether he plans to continue on his present path or not; since you have no problem with his cross dressing, he may be in a pink fog and charging blindly into areas you aren't happy with. You both need to be comfortable with the path he's taking and he needs to understand that.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  9. #9
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    17
    Thank you. He said he needs time to sort out where he is going. At the meantime I have to wait and I don't know how long. He is going to see a doctor but during this time, he still continues hormones.

    I am so stressed now. I have a life to live, love to give and dreams to pursue.

  10. #10
    </3 CatAttack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    834
    Quote Originally Posted by pradaarmani View Post
    My boyfriend is self medicating.
    Self-medication is only short term. Like, sure he can get the E and spiro from the internet or whatever now, but what about in the future when his source inevitably runs dry [for example, the online pharmacy gets shut down]? Maybe he already has plans to get a real prescription [I started off self-medicating, but I had plans worked out and am now under the supervision of an endocrinologist]. You should ask him what he plans to do about hormones in the future because as stated above, self-medicating is not long term. From his answer you will probably get a big hint about his intentions.

    Oh and if he chooses to stop, he should probably do it sooner rather than later.
    like shooting stars in a barrel

  11. #11
    Member Sandygal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    S.W Florida
    Posts
    444
    Your boyfriend is in total denial. He wants his cake and eat it too. He is so happy to have you as an accepting girlfriend and it feels so good to have someone with him while he sorts things out. No...I think he sorted things out when he started taking the pills, that's a huge step. I have wanted to take hormones for years, but I'm older and have a great fear of losing my wife and customers(I'm a one person bussiness). If my wife told me she would love me and stay with me, I would take the pills in a heartbeat. Your boyfriend made his choice, now you for better or worse, need to make yours.

  12. #12
    Jennifer(not just)at home Jenniferathome's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    3,372
    "cross dressers" do not take hormones. Your boyfriend is either transexual or horribly confused. Either way, he needs to talk with a gender therapist. Waiting for him will become waiting for "her" before long. Sorry but you need to take action now.

  13. #13
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Hamilton ,Ontario (British/Canadian)
    Posts
    9,118
    you both need to go see a gender therapist. and keep talking till you get to the root of his issues. he well may be a transsexual in total denial. taking hormones unsupervised was a very bad idea.. there are many many questions he must answer for himself way before taking hormones. lets face it your " Boyfriend " is a big mess right now his mind is changing in to a woman emotionally he's a mess.... he loves you and wants to keep you.. but he must be true to who he/she is.
    should you chose to break up do so gentle has he will find out what woman go through during a breakup... he as no idea ... and tell your boyfriend welcome to womanhood
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  14. #14
    Wife's best friend Jenny Beth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Near Vancouver, Canada
    Posts
    2,130
    I agree with others here, hormones go way beyond being just a cross dresser. Either he is not being honest with you about his desires to become a woman or he doesn't know himself what he wants out of life. You have choice to make, stick with him and be unhappy or let him know you don't want to be with him if he continues down this path. He wants it both ways but you are the one who is going to get hurt.
    [FONT=Fixedsys]You don't have to have been born female to enjoy being a girl[/FONT]

  15. #15
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    4,678
    IMHO your "boyfriend" is a loser. Lose him.

    OK, now that I got that out of my system, my more polite response might be to see a couples therapist ASAP. He is seriously confused about his future and about your lives together. If you really want to remain as a couple, you have a lot of work ahead of you, but couples therapy is a good start.

    Good luck,
    S

  16. #16
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Derby City USA North
    Posts
    64
    I'm sorry but I can't see Love here....4 months. SEEK HELP...

  17. #17
    Breakin' social taboos TGMarla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Southwest USA
    Posts
    6,559
    It seems to me that if you both continue this course, he'll become convinced that he's transexual, and you will not have a future with him. Counselling is quite in order here. And I'd get after it sooner than later.

    Any money found in the laundry is MINE!


    "This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"

    www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/

  18. #18
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    17
    He doesn't give me answer about what he wants to be. If he wants to stop the pills, that's great and we seek help to get rid of the addiction. If he wants to continue the hormones, that's fine and he has to leave me and let me carry on with my own life. At the moment, he cannot give any answer and still taking hormones everyday.

    He said once that he "may" stop the hormones. But he wants to see a doctor first. I don't know his true intention.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Manhattan LES, and also own a condo in western PA.
    Posts
    687
    You should seek professional counseling together.

    It's not uncommon for crossdressers to indulge in body shaping via exercise and diet to attain a more feminine appearance. It's possible he originally took the hormones for that purpose, but has become psychologically addicted to them and the sense of reassurance he gets from the mere act of ingesting them.

    On the other hand, it's also possible, as another poster suggested, that he is a transsexual who is in denial.

    He definitely needs help to find out who he is and where he is going. It's also possible that you need counseling. It's unusual for gender women to be so accepting of male crossdressing, and I wonder if there is something about a feminine man which is needful for you.

    Based on your chronology your boyfriend had been taking female hormones for two months when you began your relationship with him, and had been crossdressing for almost 25 years. I think he was a lot further along towards feminization when you met him than you're willing to admit. I find it hard to believe that he could have started growing his hair long, letting his finger nails grow long, tweezing his eyebrows in feminine shapes, wearing girls sunglasses, and shopping at women's clothing stores in the space of four months. I'm curious, how far along in your relationship did he tell you he was a crossdresser? Did he tell you about the hormones voluntarily or did you discover them? Does he shave his body hair? Does he wear earrings in both ears?

    Both of you need to do some soul searching, and you should do it with trained, competent assistance.

  20. #20
    Member makin' it real's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    S.F. Bay Area
    Posts
    240
    Aw, Prada, it sounds like you're in a tough place. And it sounds like your boyfriend is too.

    I have been using herbs to do the same thing the hormones are doing for your boyfriend, and I know just how tough it can be to stop. There have been several times I told myself I'm going to stop now, because the changes in my body are enough, or the changes in my body are too much; but then I'd be overwhelmed by how wonderful it feels to have my body shaped like this, and to have my mind and emotions think and feel like this, and I'd keep on taking the supplements. I am afraid to stop because I'm afraid I'll lose these wonderful feelings.

    It's strange, really. Over the past two weeks I have drastically reduced my use of supplements by simply not replacing them as I run out. I'm now down to a single herb, once a day. I feel some anxiety, and miss the female feelings, but am also better able to take positive actions for my future instead of simply reveling in the pleasures of the moment. I'm still wrestling with how much further to go, and I'm still clear that I am a man who most enjoys being with women, but it's also clear that I am a gender-blender who can no longer be considered just a man, and I'm still working out how I want to present to the world.

    I'm getting lots of help in this exploration through counseling with a very helpful therapist. It's still up to me to make the changes I want, just as it will be up to your boyfriend to identify his own feelings and then take actions based on them, but my therapist helps me see my thoughts and feelings more clearly. Maybe one will help your boyfriend too. I'm a strong supporter of therapy, because I've seen it help a lot of my friends. But the work still comes down to the person in therapy. I'd recommend counseling more for him than for you, but couples counseling could be helpful as well as long as he's in private sessions too. He needs to work out who he is separate from you as well as together with you.

    I wish you both well,

    ~Rachel

  21. #21
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    17
    I found out he was a crossdress a few days after dating him becuase I saw photos. First he denied but two weeks later he admitted. At first I was not into the idea of cd but he made me like it. Now i like it.

    He shaved all body hair. He wants to wear earings.

    He wrote a blog about starting hormones. I read. I questioned him but he said what he wrote was not real. It's just for fun. Later I saw this bank statement (he wanted to show me the balance) and he bought something from website that sells drugs including hormones. I asked him but he said it was something for his dad. I noticed the lumps under his nipples. His sperm became very clear and the amonut was very little. He had no interest in sex. I knew something was going on.

    Only last week he told me about the hormones (he was drunk). I was shocked. He said he needed help.

  22. #22
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    7,516
    Quote Originally Posted by pradaarmani View Post
    Only last week he told me about the hormones (he was drunk). I was shocked. He said he needed help.
    Yes, he does need help from a therapist and possibly a gender therapist.

    He has been either lying to you or lying to himself. Either one is not good for a relationship.

  23. #23
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Alpharetta, GA
    Posts
    4,644
    Your boyfriend does need help, but from a doctor who specializes in Gender problems!! He has apparently become addicted to the hormones, which is not at all unusual. With medical help he can stop the addiction if he wants to. Your description of him makes it sound as though he wants to become a female. If that is the case, you may have a tough time changing him!! He can change, but it has to come from within him, not from you or anyone else!!

    I have been a crossdresser for 70 years, and do know what I am talking about!! BTW, I dress only because I like to! I have no desire at all to be a woman, and never have had that desire!
    Last edited by sissystephanie; 09-24-2011 at 01:15 PM.
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  24. #24
    Junior Member shapeshifter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Washington, D.C. area
    Posts
    74
    Quote Originally Posted by pradaarmani View Post
    He admits he is addicted to those hormone pills. They make him feel relax and easy going. ... I ask him to stop the pills. He said he can't.
    This is a warning sign to me. A LOT of transsexual women, myself included, find relaxation (or more accurately, the absence of chronic anxiety) to be an effect of estrogen. Many trans women find stopping HRT to be horrible. On the other hand, a cis man who takes estrogen would probably feel horrible, much like a trans man does.

    She's Not The Man I Married by Helen Boyd is a book written by a woman with a formerly crossdressing husband who now wants to transition. Maybe reading it would be good for both of you? http://www.amazon.com/Shes-Not-Man-M.../dp/1580051936

    I think you two should get to a gender therapist ASAP! Also, does he have any contact with the trans community? A trans support group may help too (some are creepy, some are wonder). Meeting transsexual and transgender people, crossdressers, etc might help him learn more about himself.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    980
    I understand that you love him and you want to be with him as a man who crossdresses. My wife and i have been married for 10 years this dec. She is also very accepting of me crossdressing as a man, we have grown leaps and bounds together as a couple. She has known since before we were married, but there were many phases of my own mentality and trying to deal with Gender Dysphoria that led me into dark places within myself. Guilt, shame, Self hate, depression, suicidal thoughts......among others.....
    Her acceptance of me and my own acceptance of myself has brought me into a healthy mentality with dealing with gender dysphoria.

    One thing she cannot support, is actively taking steps to change the chemical me....i.e. Hormones or Supplements. This greatly affects the male physically and makes changes in the brain chemically. Not to mention loss of sex drive and other side effects.

    Luckilyfor us i do not wish to change my body other then my body hair. Which was a big deal in the beginning of our acceptance together. It was something important to me when i became comfortable with myself enough to start having thoughts of going out enfemme.

    I have always had long hair in guy mode. Since i was like 12 (i am in my 30's now). I take care of it and cut it in a normal guy rocker fashion and she loves it. The reason i bring this up is that there are guys out there with long hair and you shouldnt really be concerned too much about that.

    However the hormones you should be very concerned about. But even more to the point, If he has lied to you about taking them then that should really be more of a concern than anything. If he is self medicating there could be very bad side effects. He needs to see a doctor. I can not stress that enough!.

    If you love him then help him find his path in life. It may not coincide with what you want out of the relationship tho. But at least help him to find the healthy ways to go about going on Male to Female hormones.

    Maybe you need to express what you really like and dont like about crossdressing to him, there is nothing wrong with you voicing your boundaries. And standing by them.

    Your BF sounds as tho he is mentally on the road for MtF transitioning and going about it in the worst way for his mental and physical health. But if he is not then you need to voice how you feel about him being TG and what boundaries are deal breakers for you.

    I hope this finds you well and GL. I do wish you two the best. I am around and feel free to PM me if you have any questions you dont want to ask on the open boards. i will be glad to help if i can.

    a Kindred spirit,
    -Donni-
    Last edited by DonniDarkness; 09-24-2011 at 10:11 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Christian Personals | Celebrity Gossip
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


Browse Crossdressers By State