I need a push...

[Jennifer529]

I am trying to work up the nerve to go out this week-end to a local
GLTG bar,but I am so nervous,any thoughts,suggestions/
I really want to get out and have fun!
I have hidden in the background too long!

[AllieSF]

Hi Jennifer. One way to overcome one part of your fear is to go and check out the place that you want to go before you go there dressed (assuming that you do not live as a woman full time) That way you know where to park, the layout inside, where the bathrooms are, etc. Also have a drink just to get to know one of the bartenders. They do have good memories and that helps later. The second thing to do is get ready, get in your car and drive to the place and see if you have the courage to get out of the car and enter. If you have the courage, go straight to the bar sit where you want and order a drink, strong or non-alcoholic and say something nice to the bartender, even if it is saying that the place is busy or is not busy. Having a connection with the most important person there helps. Then sip your drink and just watch what happens around you. If you do not have the courage to get out of your car this time, remember that there can be other times and maybe the next time or the time after that you will get your courage to the point of going in. Do not leave your car if you are near a panic moment. Leave when you want to. Good luck and let us know what works for you.

[Jennifer529]

Thanks Allie I need all the encouragement I can get,thanks for the tips!
Hopefully i'll have a great story on Monday

[StephanieDragg]

good luck!!!! you look great !!! so be be confident and smile!!!! and wear shoes that are sexy but you can walk around in good

[stefanie]

gosh.. i remember my first time out and still get goosebumps to this day on every first step out my door....

thinking back in time... i went out by myself...took a no fear attitude and just went. Was in LA at the time and realized no one really cared... they didn't....

what would have made me more comfortable would have been to have done so with someone else... guys, girl, another tg, etc. Back then the internet was not ummm there yet... (okay, not to date my self at 26 yrs old haha)... I think nowadays there are so many way to connect with others and then have a partner or friend to go out makes it much much easier and quite frankly... fun.

I have visited Montreal quite a few times and go out there quite often... very tg friendly which also helps to relax the nerves...

I wish you a great 1st outing and a safe one

[Christina Horton]

Going to a bar like that you'll be just fine. If you want to read my first time out yaaaaaay then you'll read something that might give you the courage to do something simple as going to a gay bar. Lol.
What you been to look at is A.... From looking at you profile pic I would think your a women and B.... Most people don't (see) us. There to busy with there own Korean and just don't look up to "see" the world around them lol.
You'll be just fine and remember try not to drink much because walking in high heals can be hard enough sober on the in even street let alone drunk or with just a few in you. Have fun and remember you only get your first time once!!!!!

[Kate Simmons]

One thing that always helped me was to have a purpose in mind. I go to the club with the intention to dance, even if it's alone. That can be a bit of an ice breaker in itself. It also relaxes me and everything else seems to flow into place from there. That's what I do anyway.

[Cally]

If GLTG bars there are anything like they are here, once you are there it is all good. There are bound to be heaps of friendly folk about inside, although I tend to make more friends outside where the smokers congregate even though I don't smoke anymore.

On my first time I thought the most difficult part would be getting from the car to the bar, but I was so buzzed on adrenalin at the time, that was no problem at all. I held the view that I had come too far to chicken out now and as it turned out it was one of the best nights out I have ever had.

All the advice here is good.. don't drink too much, wibbly wobbly on heels is a sprained something in the making... and then you can't wear heels for ages.. bugga

Good Luck Jennifer .. you will be fine .. look forward to hearing how it went

Cally

If only someone would hurry up and invent the teleport, I could zap over there and go too...

[Aprilrain]

I Was compelled to go out dressed. I have no interest in clubs and was terrified as well so I just went to 24 hour stores like Walmart at 2 or3 in the morning. It was pathetic but I had to start somewhere! Soon I was going during the day and then department stores, bathrooms, restaurants etc. Now it's just my life, I don't own boy clothes any more.

[gabimartini]

Going out en femme is somewhat like skydiving. If you think too much, you don't make it out of the plane. So, just get ready and jump! It will probably be better than you think. And once you are there at the club, you probably won't want the night to end.

Good luck!

[Cynthia Anne]

Keep that pretty head up and be proud of who you are! If you think everyone else is better then you then don't go! Otherwise you deserve the same fun the rest of the world is having! Sense no one is better then you, you must go and prove it! Have fun! Hugs!

[Jenniferathome]

Go with your wife. It'll be the most fun you ever had. She's the ultimate "accessory" for helping you pass. You might be nervous, but you will see others like you inside. You will relax (have just one drink before you go, too).

[CallieH]

Good for you for having mustered up the courage to step out. Going out with a GG or CD friend would definitely help. All the best!

[TGMarla]

Certainly, walking out the door and getting in the car is half the battle, but once you're out, it feels quite natural and even a bit exhilirating. You'll feel ....well..... normal, after a while once you're out and doing things.

[MiraM]

I'm right there with you. I used to go out from time to time years ago, but have long since lost the courage/confidence to do it. I do frequent a Gay bar here with my best friend/boss, and she keeps wanting me to go there dressed. I do want to, but the more I think about it, the more I don't know if I can do it. She says I pass very well, and that I look good dressed, but my mind keeps telling me that I don't. Right now I have what I would like to wear there tonight laid out, but I just don't know :/.

[kimdl93]

I don't know any way of doing it other than self motivation. When I finally went out, it was a response to a long (2 week) period when I couldn't dress. I got home, got dressed and couldn't bring myself to change back into drab. I went out and moved the sprinkler in my front yard and realized that if I was able to do that, I could go to the dry cleaners, the grocery or a restaurant. Whatever it takes, just try to break that initial barrier.

[stacycoral]

Jennifer, you look like you could pass very easy, the hardest part is making the first conact with a person after that you will feel alive, and refreshed. Have a great time,

[Cindy M]

You can do it Jennifer! We want a report on Monday (or sooner) Go for it! You'll have fun. It was a huge adrenelin rush for me. I'm hooked! Already planning my next adventure.

Go have fun!

[Kaz]

Hi Jennifer,

Good on you and just do it! Now I have never done this and whilst the UK is not the US this is not an excuse. But... the trick to confidence is to plan ahead as has been mentioned. Check the whole place out beforehand and figure out what you will do in potential scenarios. If you don't have a friend with you, you need to have an exit strategy to get out of there and home safe. And don't drink alcohol (well especially if you are driving!)...

I suspect once in there you will have a blast... if you go in your own, the best strategy is to just get a drink and look cool... observe people... let the vibe come to you... if things happen... take it as you feel... if they don't... exit and then reflect on the experience and plan the next move!

[Eryn]

Going out en femme is somewhat like skydiving. If you think too much, you don't make it out of the plane. So, just get ready and jump!

This statement is very true, but you will be more confident if you prepare yourself well for the outing. I made a list of the things I needed to do so I wouldn't forget something important. It made my experience much calmer.

Have a great time and tell us all about your adventure!