A Question For Everyone TS/IS/CD Or Otherwise.

[josee]

We had children because it is a very essential part of being human and it gives us someone who is very much part of us to care for and who cares for us. Children are also a lot of fun. Nothing funnier than watching a toddler play or eat. Nothing more rewarding than helping that child learn and grow to become a contributing member of society.
Children can be difficult, tiring, a huge financial strain. Bit they are almost always worth every bit of it and then some. They can also give us joy, love, a sense of pride and accomplishment. Life would seem kind of empty by comparison.
Hope this helps.

[Badtranny]

That's not to say it won't be hard since the road I am on is probably going to be a rocky one.

Oh really? PM me and tell me more. Are you taking the plunge?

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you everyone for your input.

At my place of employment we design systems for nuclear energy generation.

There I have no one that is not like me to stimulate thought outside the confines of nuclear physics and engineering.

I work alot from home on the computer which allows me the time to visit with all of you.

Thank you again for your emotional energies, positive, negative or neutral within your responses to my question.

Julia

[Aprilrain]

I have read a lot of heart felt responses and in a way i wish i could relate but the truth is we were horny and failed to use protection. I knew when I was a kid that I NEVER wanted children it just didn't make any sense to me why someone would want to be responsible for another human life. Thankfully raising kids really isn't that hard especially for the fathers, lets face it mothers carry the burden of responsibility when it comes to kids in most cases especially babies. That being said I love my kids its hard not to once they are here. I'm totally done though and am quite happy that there is no way for me to get pregnant! If I had THIS life to do over I would have made some different choices.

[Kaz]

I just wish I could help with your understanding Julia, but I have found this just about the most confusing thread ever. I have read it and re-read it and keep coming to the conclusion that you have missed out on a hell of lot. In my little old life, I have found love, respect, true affection, joy, loyalty, success at work, and more... and also on the dark side, enemies (usually because of a conflict of interests), misunderstanding, pain, loss, depression, lack of income, loss of respect, loss of employment, and the list goes on...

I have three amazing daughters. They are amazing because they are nothing special... they are not going to change the world... they are going to just get on with their lives doing what we all do. One of daughters has my wife's and my first (and possible the only) grand-daughter. She is 5 in a few weeks and seeing theam all develop and grow into adults has been the most the rewarding experience of my life.

Why did I 'breed'... for most of the animal kingdom it is in their nature. It is about the survival of species. It is not about religion. There is a basic intinct for species survival that Darwin has articulated well but so have many classical and recent philosophers. their is a scientific literature on this, as well as a social, psychological and philosophical literature.

I think this is why it is so difficult to explain and respond to the OP. I was 'motivated to breed'... because it is in my nature. I choose to CD because it is also (as I am learning) in my nature.

[Tina B.]

Not being a Vulcan, I don't see the need to have a reason for every thing I do, having children was sure not a need, but a want, I don't know about your spiraling down the generations is based on, but I did better than my father, and both of my kids have done a lot better than I did, so I guess it's alright that I bred. Being raised by such a practical women, I'm not sure you can understand doing something like that just for the fun of it.
Tina B.

[Sophie86]

Thankfully raising kids really isn't that hard especially for the parents, who don't stay home with their children.

I fixed that for you. :/

[*Vanessa*]

Hi Julia - I guess I'm an otherwise (known as TG)

second edit

motivation (first wife) - to have (unprotected) sex with a real hottie. we where 19 and 20yrs at the time.
motivation (2nd wife) - to start a family
motivation (3rd wife) - we just had a dog... too many kids already

[Aprilrain]

I fixed that for you. :/

hhhmmm? I wouldn't know. I've done both over the last 7 years, personally I'd rather have then during the day since when I would get home from work I was tired and the last thing I wanted were other people around especially a wife and kids! ESPECIALLY A WIFE!!

[Frédérique]

Many people here have children. My question is what was your motivation to breed?

[SIZE="2"]I don’t have children, but I assume that your question in the OP was not mutually exclusive…

I like children, now that I’m not a child anymore, but I never came close to “having” any of my own. I’ve never been married, and I never had to deal with the unintentional consequences of a sexual act. My children are all imaginary, and they are extremely undemanding…

As such, I never felt a “motivation” to breed, which may or may not be a good thing, depending on how you look at it. I’m very much the outsider in all things (except crossdressing, where I am very much an insider), marginalized on all fronts, not a team player, and thus not capable of attracting a female who would wish me to be the father of her children…

I wrote a thread about procreation not too long ago, and how it is connected with this inevitable censure of MtF crossdressing by society and, by necessity, females who wish to procreate. Being a crossdresser carries certain connotations with it, all of which undermine “normal” relationships and life in general, i.e. I’m not like other men, I’m somewhat self-absorbed, and I am, by my inherent nature, incapable of taking life very seriously. My motivation to be ME outweighs any other motivation I may have (or acquire), so “breeding” is not even a remote idea…[/SIZE]

[J'lyn GG]

I am a parent WHO STAYS HOME WITH HER KIDS. I have never had a really easy time getting pregnant, therefore, each of our 5 pregnancies were planned. I can't speak for my husband, but I KNOW I did not coerce him into having children. (that was just offensive) Why did I have children? Honestly, in the beginning, it was probably b/c I thought that was what I was supposed to do. If noone has children, we will become extinct. True? But, after that, well, every time my 12 yo says, thanks mom, you're the greatest, or my 2 yo runs to me yelling mommy, mommy, each and every hug and kiss he showers me with every day. Every smile I receive from my youngest or when he reaches for me. Watching my child ride his bike for the first time or take his first steps. Go on his first date or get behind the wheel of a car. The macaroni necklaces. The masterpieces for daddy's office. The huge mess my 2yo makes b/c he MUST help make brownies. LOL Or how about when my 16 yo realizes that we have rules b/c we love him. Those, those are the reasons we have children. There are a million reasons to have children and I can't imagine going through life without experiencing those reasons.

[sanderlay]

Julia...

Thank you for the questions. I appreciate learning more about you and how you perceive life. Thank you for your participation in this forum.

I've been single all my life and never been married or fathered a child. My own journey into understanding myself and gender presentation has been more urgent and a road block to a relationship with a SO, significant other. But if I was younger and had a partner, being at peace with myself and who I present to the world, I would have liked to have had a child or two.

In myself I think there is a primal need to nurture and pass on my life experiences. Currently I fulfill my need to nurture having pets in my life, which just happened again to me in the last month. A family who moved, my neighbor, did not take all their pets and left some behind. I stepped in to the rescue the animals, three cats and a caged rat, from being abandoned. (I'm not going to talk about my feeling of being a responsible pet owner, which my neighbor broke, and I'm having to pick up the pieces.)

Yes... there is a commitment to the welfare and nurture of a child, or any pet, under your care. This does affect my freedom and my resources. But at the same time they give back to you in ways that are priceless. Even the wildlife, deer, wild turkeys, birds, squirrels, rabbits, bears, etc..., around me as some parade their offspring by my home almost daily as they look for food are such a gift and blessing. I feel proud that I can help protect and nurture them here in this forest, some directly as they sleep in my home or outside as they find protection from hunters.

[Sophie86]

hhhmmm? I wouldn't know. I've done both over the last 7 years, personally I'd rather have then during the day since when I would get home from work I was tired and the last thing I wanted were other people around especially a wife and kids! ESPECIALLY A WIFE!!

Wow. Okay.

I've been a stay-at-home parent for 12 yrs now, since my oldest was 3. It hasn't always been easy, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it. I feel I've been blessed to have the opportunity to do this. I'm very grateful to my wife, since she's the one who had to shoulder the responsibility for paying the bills while I have been taking care of the kids and the house.

[Jeninus]

Gays rather notoriously refer to straight, married folks as "Breeders," which might be why some were offended by the use of the term, although it is a technically correct one. In my case my wife and I are childless because, with a fairly late marriage, the expense of law school and the need for my wife's income during that time and during the early years of building a practice, we just couldn't afford it. By the time we could, we agreed it was too late. We had also seen that the stress of early parenting had been at least one factor leading to my sister-in-law's divorce. We then had two Airdales, who became our "children" for 15 years. I think we both share a sense of loss that we didn't have children. I fully understand the primal need of people to have children.

[Angela2me]

hmmm, logical reason for having children. Same as logical reason for falling in love with my SO.

There really is no logical reason for it. There are often many logical reasons why not. Why not to have children or why not to full in love.
Money, time, heartache, the world (looking forward), over population, lack of food, water, health, peace.

But there are not often logical reasons why we do.
It is all about L O V E. (and some selfishness)

Angela

[PretzelGirl]

I have read a lot of heart felt responses and in a way i wish i could relate but the truth is we were horny and failed to use protection.

Way too broad sweeping. I adopted two out of three of my kids. Obviously that has nothing to do with being horny.

[kimdl93]

As stated before, I genuinely wanted children. I have two sons. Being part of their growth into fine young adults has been the most rewarding aspect of my life....simple as that.

[RenneB]

I produced a pair of what I call biological replacements. One female, one male. Something deep down inside me said that it was the right thing to do at the time. When I looked into their eyes for the very first time, I saw the creator my God. Wow what a feeling.

Now leap forward 15 years and they're teenagers. They walk, talk (apparently talking back is second nature to them) and act on their own. OMG what did I do? They turned out just like me.... LOL ROTF CGU..... (that LOL Rolling On The Floor - Can't Get Up)

Renne.....

[sometimes_miss]

Our initial motivation is to have sex. Breeding is a 'side effect'. Social pressures in the past few thousand years (an microscopic amount of time that the human species has existed) have encouraged 'breeding' in order to continue each 'tribe' or social group.
Me, I have no urge to 'breed'. While some people like to think their genes are superior to others and think that makes it more important that they have kids, I have no such delusion. Basically, all our genes 'suck'. We live, spend astronimical amounts of energy in the pursuit of reproduction, we die, and in general, contribute very, very little to the advancement of the species.

[Kate Simmons]

None of my three were really planned but the joy of having children and being with them as they grow cannot really be explained, only experienced.

[Julogden]

My motivation to breed was, I enjoyed sex with my wife and I love children and wanted my own family.

Seems an obvious answer to a very simple question Julia?

You assume my children are a burden!
I have to say this is a sad and troublesome thread Julia. [Are you asking this as a kind of joke?]

Suzy, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Carol

[larry07]

I feel compelled to add another angle to the discussion of having children, not related to crossdressing, but related to being a human being. The population of the earth is now around seven billion - 2.5 times what it was when I was born, 58 years ago. The US population has more than doubled. The survival of our species does not seem to be at risk, though our prolific growth has been responsible for the loss of many other species.

There is no longer doubt that human activity is changing the climate. Today's children will have to deal with a very different planet than the one we have been accustomed to. The assumption that our children will have a better life than we have can no longer be made. Water, food, and many other resources are already becoming scarce and expensive in many areas and coming changes will make the situation much worse.

I'll get off my soapbox now, but I would hope that more of those who feel compelled to have children would consider adoption. Many ideas and concepts that we have taken for granted need to be modified.

Larry

[Julia_in_Pa]

Your very welcome Debbie

[Sophie86]

Our initial motivation is to have sex. Breeding is a 'side effect'.

My wife and I managed to have sex for 9 years without conceiving a child, and could have continued that indefinitely. Having children wasn't a side effect of some other motivation. It was a conscious decision based on the fact that we both wanted a child, and felt we had reached a point in our lives where we could raise one well. When we decided to have a second child five years later that was also a decision based on what we wanted in our lives.

The assumption that our children will have a better life than we have can no longer be made.

That's very true, and will remain true so long as the political landscape is dominated by statists.

[jillleanne]

If we need to get to the scientific basis for life, here goes; my genetic DNA structure is designed for one purpose and that is to produce offspring to maintain the continued genetic structure of my DNA. It is not a matter of desire but rather a need to protect my DNA within the animal kingdom for survival by design. The medium used to carry the DNA forward is the act of producing offspring. Simple.
The benefit received from that DNA design is I am blessed with emotions, intelligence, senses, reason, etc., and these benefits give me the ability to reciprocate the benefits to other DNA carriers. That includes love, reasoning, and survival.
Producing offspring, or more humanly, bearing children is a natural event necessitated by the need for survival. Outside influences are only superficial and have nothing to do with one's decision or ability to have children, other things equal. The icing on the cake if you will, is the ability to share a short time of existence with others, to be able to emotionally protect, love, teach, learn, and all the other things that make having children so wonderful. Being gender enhanced to any degree has absolutely nothing to do with bearing children nor create any negative effects in the decision making process of such nor in the act of raising children.
If a child perceives any such ideas, it is simply a false perception of the child and they should openly discuss it with the parents or a professional that can help them come to terms with the true reality.