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Thread: Femininity outside of cross dressing?

  1. #1
    Member Daisy41's Avatar
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    Femininity outside of cross dressing?

    Obviously, on a forum focused on cross dressing we see a focus on wearing the opposite gender's clothing. We identify as being a part of the "transgender" umbrella. For those transitioning, it means a lot more than the clothing. I'm just wondering if there are other non-visual things of being feminine anybody either enjoys or plays a part in naturally?

    For example: I love doing artsy/crafty things typically deemed "girly". Sewing and putting together crafts as gifts. I also enjoy talking a lot more than even my wife does. I ask her about her feelings and I look to understand what she's trying to say. I've even gotten upset because I don't feel like she expresses her feelings enough.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Good point, I think. For me I've always exhibited some stereotypically feminine interests...so much so that my older brothers teased me about it. I thought I suppressed this pretty effectively, but several times women have told me that I'm just like one of the girls. A co worker even gave me another femme name !

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I get caught out being thoughtful and sympathetic when it is not thought masculine.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  4. #4
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    Interesting question, as during the last few days I've been doing a lot of soul searching and thinking my whole life. I've actually come to the conclusion, that the two biggest decisions in my life were affected by the feminine side in me, even when at the time I wasn't that aware of it. Not sure if these really qualify for "femininity outside of cross dressing", as many males do the same thing and they would never cross dress, but here goes:

    - At age of 18 I refused compulsory military service and I suffered the consequences for it as per our laws. My main motivation for it was, that I had really no idea how to function in a group of thousands of men. The whole thing terrified me, thus I refused.

    - The occupation for which I studied (healthcare), is probably 80% to 90% female workers and very few males. After that army thing, healthcare occupation was the only place where I could feel at ease with my colleagues. And I have enjoyed my work and co-workers for the past 10 to 15 years.

    Like said, the above two wont apply to every man of being an expression of your feminine side, but I think in my case that was what affected to those two decisions.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    I kind of grew up that way. For me you can usually find me in the kitchen, trading recipes at work, decorating the house.

  6. #6
    amy wanagione's Avatar
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    I cook, clean the house , do the laundry, and i work weekends so i could be home with the kids while my wife worked during the week.

  7. #7
    Electric Grandma Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Part of it is who we are as a person, how we look at and respond to things. Some of it you can't put a gender "finger" on, it's intrinsic and you just know.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  8. #8
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    My wife says I'm so feminine I should have been born a tit. I always have been. Barbies over baseball. Once, on an sort of dare, my wife asked me to do masculine the whole time we were at the mall. Example- Don't feel the merchandise, don't make eye contact, look at items in LaSenza lingerie like you don't understand them, walk with hands in pockets (almost fell down twice), walk like godzilla, attempt to fit ladies size Coach wallet in back pocket(LOL). I failed miserably, and my wife was silently killing herself laughing. Just for the mental image, I was doing this en femme.-Celeste
    P.S. If you look in the windows of men's stores, you quickly discover that nothing has changed in your lifetime. Yuck.

  9. #9
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    For decades I have always sat on a commode to urinate. I did it for some very practical reasons and it keeps the surround in the toilet much cleaner. If you have to clean the toilet yourself( there is another feminine thing to do) you will realise how the standard male method of urinating into a toilet bowl while standing makes a tremendous amount of mess. In public places, such as airports, I always use the stalls and am appalled at how inconsiderate many men are, who do not lift the seat and make a dreadful mess.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    Actually I dress this way because I am feminine, not because I want to be feminine.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by almostalady View Post
    Actually I dress this way because I am feminine, not because I want to be feminine.
    This is what I want to be.

    I don't want to dress *like* someone, or act *like* someone, but rather just *be* me. Unfortunately I am nowhere near this. God bless you, and thank you for sharing, this really makes me feel good to think about.

    -Page

  12. #12
    Gender Explorer Meghan's Avatar
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    Great question, Daisy! There are quite a few small things I do on a daily basis that are probably pretty generally feminine, in terms of overall behavior.

    For example, last night I sat on the couch and did a manicure/pedicure over several hours. That's not the spirit of your question though, but as that was going on, I sipped on a couple of martinis (which, by the way, were wonderful. First one was passion fruit, SoCo and lime, the second was cotton candy vodka with strawberry and blue Curacao), and flipped through the new issue of Elle that arrived yesterday afternoon! I subscribe to Marie Claire and grab a Glamour every other month or so from the magazine racks (the holiday cover is stunning this year).

    I also watch a lot of Runway and of course almost every cooking show. My personal trainer puts me through a woman's workout to help shape my body. I am sure there are lots of other little things that I am not thinking of at the moment.

    Thanks again for the cool question.

    Meghan
    "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."

    ~Turkish Proverb

  13. #13
    Member JennyLynn's Avatar
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    Maybe I am the oddball here, but I find I am most feminine when I am JennyLynn, and just my manly self the rest of the time, although I do shave my legs and armpits. That reminds me of my girly side. I do like art and shopping as a guy and am always sensitive. I cry at touching movies much more so than my wife. Funny thing iis, my wife doesn't even notice my shaving!

  14. #14
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    10-15 years ago I was able to find time to work in the kitchen and things like that but those days are only memories. These are supposed to be the Golden Years but they have turned into the Speedway Years. Met with a contractor this AM, checking on another job after lunch, meeting with my attorney at a job site at 7:30 in the morning. (Yecch) Way too early! Doesn't leave much time for Jolene to cook a turkey dinner like she used to do in the past. It is hard to "get in touch with your feminine" side when life is a Nascar ride. Don't take me wrong because I am not trying to feel sorry for myself. My wife and thousands of other women wake up each morning to the same thing. It is not feminine or masculine. Just life. Sometimes it gets in the way of fishing, hunting, cake baking, and all those other things that both men and women love to do. At least, I do. :-)

  15. #15
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    Now that we know Tina exists, it's all so more reasonable. It's not that my male self was "girly", but he crochets, loves to cook, prefers everything clean and orderly, and really enjoyed dressing up well as a male (tux!)! The issue was that he also enjoys actions that are considered "male" and the mix was a bit bizarre. Now that we have it sorted out my two gendered selves understand us much more!

  16. #16
    Just a girl on a trip cyndigurl45's Avatar
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    EH not so much I just do it all in a more feminine fashion and manner, my all time favorite is the difference in requirements, an example I'm an avid 3 gun shooter and I was ranked in the top 80% in International competition being male. But now I'm in the top 95% of female shooters, my skill level really hasn't changed only the requirements.........

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
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    Hmmm. I am generally into arts and crafts, but suck at it. I like to cook, and find it very enjoyable cooking for, and with, my GF. I find it satisfying to do the washing up for her when she cooks. ( this is more a case of wanting to do my share ) I recently signed up for a knitting evening that some girls are doing at work, ( my GF is going as well and plans on re-teaching me to knit ) I will often complement GG at work on clothing choice, some of the guys too.
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote courtesy of my SO when we first discussed my clothing choices.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  18. #18
    Junior Member cardigansissy's Avatar
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    Love the question. I'm a really good listener and am comfortable in female company. I had a girl friend invite me to her hen night years ago, which was lovely. Iy enjoy chick flicks. I recently bought "A Good Yarn" by Debbie Macomber, thinking I'd have to force myself to get to the end. I haven't read a book so easily and contentedly in years. I subscribe to Piecework(really interesting historical articles), Crochet Today, Crochet World, Crochet!, Creative Knitting and Interweave Knits. I haven't crocheted or knitted yet, but I'm getting very inspired to give it a go! I've ordered some starter kits for Cross Stich and embroidery, should be arriving soon. I also take Ladies Home Journal, The Oprah Magazine, Redbook, Woman's Day, More, Woman's Weekly and The Lady.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    [SIZE="3"][FONT="Trebuchet MS"]Trying to hide my girliness a little less everyday, all suggestions appreciated. Check out my cardigans, and my wishlist ones, here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8842813@N06[/FONT]/[/SIZE]

  19. #19
    Laura So Cal Laura28's Avatar
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    For me, I love to do the house work, wich is great as my wife hates it. I do the laundry and all the cleaning as well as the laundry.

  20. #20
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
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    This is something I can relate to Daisy.
    I walk down the street in drab and I am still Suzy inside.

    I love to alter dresses to fit and look more like I want them to look.
    I love to cook although men also make good cooks.
    I cry watching an old romantic film.
    I could go on.

    But what is femininity?
    For me its feeling like Suzy, and I love it, dressed or not.

  21. #21
    Member SandraInHose's Avatar
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    There are things I do that my dad's generation would have considered feminine, such as housecleaning, grocery shopping, and things like that. But I do not feel like these are the least bit feminine in a household where both of us have full-time careers. So much for that.

    However I do possess certain traits that men consider feminine. I love romantic comedies, and I cry at sad movies or sentimental things 10 times more often than my wife does. And I can talk fashion with women better than most women can <LOL>

    But I am not a 'Niles Crane' type either. I chew my nails, get my calloused hands dirty, play hockey, lift weights, and do enough other masculine things that I doubt anybody would even consider me a candidate for CDing. Just goes to show you how much the general public still doesn't know about the subject.
    Last edited by SandraInHose; 12-26-2012 at 07:08 PM.
    "Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season" ('Carry On Wayward Son' by Kansas)

  22. #22
    Jersey Girl out and about Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I think my biggest "tell" is when I see a female friend who has gotten her hair styled or a new outfit and I find myself blurting out that I noticed it and how nice it is or whatever. I don't think they make the connection but it hits me a few seconds after I have said it.
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  23. #23
    Member CarleyR's Avatar
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    All of us have both feminine and masculine characteristics, and it is better to recognize and appreciate the blend that each of us represents, than to force any or all of us to fit the caricature at the end of the spectrum. I am happy with myself as a guy and can only be a guy. But I have feminine characteristics, too, from crying at both sad and happy events (from weddings to funerals to anything that hurts or discourages a kid), to loving romantic movies and shunning hard-action ones. An enjoyment of occasional CDing fits in the feminine side. As this forum demonstrates, God dodn't make people from just two cookie cutters, one with a skirt and one with pants.

  24. #24
    Junior Member Nanaya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarleyR View Post
    All of us have both feminine and masculine characteristics, and it is better to recognize and appreciate the blend that each of us represents, than to force any or all of us to fit the caricature at the end of the spectrum. I am happy with myself as a guy and can only be a guy. But I have feminine characteristics, too, from crying at both sad and happy events (from weddings to funerals to anything that hurts or discourages a kid), to loving romantic movies and shunning hard-action ones. An enjoyment of occasional CDing fits in the feminine side. As this forum demonstrates, God dodn't make people from just two cookie cutters, one with a skirt and one with pants.
    Not all of us. I'm 100% male. Not because I'm holding back a female side, I just don't HAVE one. I wear female clothes out of interest for the clothes themselves.

  25. #25
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    I work in the sports/fashion industry doing sports/fashion things.....like drawing and playing with colors.

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