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Thread: What causes the urge to crossdress?

  1. #1
    Member adrienner99's Avatar
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    What causes the urge to crossdress?

    I know this question is old and tired for some, but after many years of dressing it still fascinates and eludes me....Is anyone aware of any credible studies or articles on what causes the urge to dress, or of any theories that actually make sense?

    Mainly, I know I just love it and would find it miserable to live without my feminine things...and yes, the reasons may vary by individual...still I wonder if there is not some common element....

  2. #2
    Just Jen Jennialy's Avatar
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    I think if they knew for sure, they would try to cut it out of us. So we can be fixed to conform to the norm.

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    love being a girly girl! Girl's Avatar
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    It just feels right. I totally feel like a girl and so I just have to dress as a girl. I can't imagine myself any other way.
    I'm always a girl!

    [FONT="Georgia"]http://dressesskirtslingerie.blogg.se/[/FONT]

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    Member katlee's Avatar
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    When I am depressed or want the rush of something that I can control.
    Kat

    <--How I feel sometimes...more of alter ego

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    Member CD Kelley's Avatar
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    I read a paper written by a CD who is a professor at a major collage. It was a well written analisys of his development as a CD. At the end of the paper he addressed the question "why do we dress en femme". After writing a very detailed description of CDing his answer was very short "I don't know". I don't think anyone knows why so I just leave it as it just is.
    The minute you think of giving up think of the reason you held on for so long

  6. #6
    Lexi for a while... sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    There's no one simple answer to this, because we do it for an assortment of reasons, many of which aren't acceptable to the affected individual so that they refuse to admit even to themselves why they do it.. Sure, people have tried to study it, but it really defies any one answer; the most obvious reason, is that most crossdressers simply won't come out of the closet to become part of any study. The only ones of us who ever get noticed by the psychiatric societies that might be interested, are those who go to therapists; not a really good sample to study, as there's no way to know exactly how representative that sample is of the whole group. If you want a theory for one person that figured it out for himself, well that would be me (and it took decades for me to do it, probably because the therapists I went to knew less about the subject than I did). But you'll have to read my bio to learn the whole story. Link is in my signature at the bottom of my posts.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 01-26-2013 at 09:55 AM.
    My life is just one long extended game of dress up. But am I a guy dressing up as a girl, or a girl dressing up as a guy? My TG biography at: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490601 however, the beginning actually starts at post #53 there. I cannot fix the link to show the starting post.

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    Jennifer(not just)at home Jenniferathome's Avatar
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    There are not studies that can show why, only some common themes reported by cross dressers like stress relief, calming, inner peace, that kind of cross. It is obvious to me that it is genetic because no one would choose to be a cross dresser.
    Last edited by Jenniferathome; 01-26-2013 at 11:22 AM.

  8. #8
    Lexi for a while... sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    There are not studies that can show why only some common themes reported by cross dressers like stress relief, calming, inner Pete, that kind of cross. It is obvious to me that it is genetic because no one would choose to be a cross dresser.
    No one would choose to be a bigot, seriel killer, or mass murderer if they had the choice, either. The simple explanation of course is, 'sh!t happens'. Various life experiences influence our thoughts, and believe it or not, our own thoughts can change us; for good or bad, and for 'male or female'.
    I had no desire to dress as a, or be a girl, until after I was molested (other than the occasional notice that my older sister seemed to be treated better than I was, to which I attributed to her being female) and until that occurance, I felt in every way that I was a boy, behaving as such as well as self identifying as one. But, thereafter, various influences in my life continued to move me towards crossdressing, as well as distort my gender identity to the point where I began to believe that I 'felt' like a girl by the time I was a teen. Our minds aren't 'finished' when we're born, they continue to develop throughout our lives, and external events can make either temporary or permanent changes in us as our lives progress. A simple example is, that if we constantly do an activity, we get better at it, up to the extent of our physical capacity and our knowledge of it. This is not to say we are entirely consciously aware of what's going on, or that it's a 'choice'; it goes on whether we are aware of it or not, and or if we want it to happen or not. My abuser planted the seeds of gender identity disorder into my head; as years went on, assuming that he was right and that god had made a mistake, I read into past happenings in my life that I thought indicated that he was correct, which reinforced the idea that I was really female. Too young to have the knowledge to discredit his suggestion, I went along with it, gradually reinforcing it until I was teaching myself to be a girl. By the time I learned enough to dispute the idea, the feelings of being female all the time had become part of me. Knowing that it is false, does not stop the feelings. My own theory, which has been supported by a few therapists that I have spoken to, is that at some point in our lives, our gender identity becomes permanent: It is not at 'one second, one minute, one day in time', but gradually as something in our minds 'sets', much in the same way that our speech pattern sets during puberty, as at about that point it is set into us whether we will develop an accent when we learn new languages. None of this is written in stone; there are no studies being done, basically because it would require lifetime controlled studies, which we do not do on humans. And as no other creatures are advanced enough to speak to us, there is no way to do experiments with them, either.

    Or, you can simply go with the Popeye theory: 'I yam what I yam'.

    Edit; an even better example is military training, where they 'break you down' and then build you into the soldier they want you to be. For the lack of a better term, 'brainwashing' is nothing new. And when done for a long time, whether inflicted by an outside source or by our own behavior and beliefs, it becomes more and more likely to be permanent. Whether you want to believe that certain pathways in our brains become 'stronger' or whatever, continuous reinforcement of repeated behavior makes it more likely to feel 'normal' to the individual.
    The huge problem we have with crossdressing is the ingrained homophobia throughout the world; virtually every male is told from the moment we are self aware that being feminine is a horrendous thing, we're even taught that god feels it's wrong. So you have a huge population of crossdressers who can't even admit to themselves that they have any connection to wanting to do, act or be female. It goes so far as to cause some of us to split our personalities into 'our male self' and 'our fem self'. You'll often see written on these forums men talking about their other 'female personality' as a distinct different person(a). It's a way of avoiding any connection with that behavior, which their male mind simply cannot accept as part of himself.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 01-26-2013 at 11:10 AM. Reason: additional information
    My life is just one long extended game of dress up. But am I a guy dressing up as a girl, or a girl dressing up as a guy? My TG biography at: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490601 however, the beginning actually starts at post #53 there. I cannot fix the link to show the starting post.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member TeresaL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    There are not studies that can show why only some common themes reported by cross dressers like stress relief, calming, inner Pete, that kind of cross. It is obvious to me that it is genetic because no one would choose to be a cross dresser.
    There are studies from medical and psychological professions, however we may with some due, respect, reason, and our own logic refute and refuse these studies.

    Genetics is an underlying theme and/or ingredient throughout the professions. Another ingredient needed is a trigger. The long or short fuse which ignites the inborn disposition and proclivity to crossdress. Multitudes of events, persons, and physiological events can trigger our genetic behavior, no matter how long the dormancy. So we are indeed varied when tasked to come up with a valid reason.

    Latter day triggers may even occur by the influence of testosterone. Not all of us, though.

    IMO and personal experience, normal serum testosterone and lowered DHT levels increase the urge. For me, my DHT was decreased due to a popular prostrate medication. However, tests revealed that my serum levels remained normal, while DHT was reduced. My cross dressing did increase. Later, my serum level was reduced and now my cross dressing is gone. See Anne Vitale for a more professional explanation. She has patients who completely lost their desire to crossdress upon starting an HRT regimen.

    Not all of us fit that profile of course, but the need to know is available for those who wish to do the research or have the experience. HRT also is not something that would be considered for our population as a whole, and leans to the transexual side of TG umbrella. There exists a multitude of factors that need to be carefully weighed and assessed, and it is not a recommendation of mine without all the steps necessary to go down that path.

    There are more than a handful of theories, and yet there is still not a one-fits-all solution. This is simply my take, however erroneous it may be. Yet after living through my personal experiences of this, I'm not that anxious to turn in my female role for a strictly cis gender life.

    Our nature to cross the gender line is small, and not completely understood by either professionals or society in general. Society is probably our biggest stumbling block and stone casters.
    Last edited by TeresaL; 01-26-2013 at 12:13 PM.

  10. #10
    Part Time Lesbian Diva CassandraSmith's Avatar
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    For me, the potential for CDing was passed through our family as a valuation of things that were feminine. It manifested itself in several family members who are in the healing professions. For me, I was exposed to a grandmother and mother who were very strong willed and together women. My dad checked out before I was born. Mom basically wore the pants and she was very beautiful too. I think that clothing was something like armor for her and she would put on her makeup every day as if she were putting on war paint. I think I strongly identified with her power and also her self worth issues. So clothing became tied to feelings of safety and the expression of feminine energy. No wonder I was fascinated by it!!!


    Cassy

  11. #11
    "A glass of wine anytime" rachaelsloane's Avatar
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    What causes the urge to crossdress?
    I might be in the minority here, but I why does it really matter? How many wonder why they like the arts or sports?
    I enjoy it and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Where did I leave my glass of wine?

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member TeresaL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rachaelsloane View Post
    I might be in the minority here, but I why does it really matter??
    It probably matters to others though, for various reasons. Firstly, the OP asked.

    As for me, my wife has asked many times. Telling her that I like panties, and it feels "oh so good," will do nothing for her but fuel a nasty feud. Those aren't answers, they are the results. (We feel good because we crossed dressed, but why did we cross dress)?

    Then, those who study behavioral fields sometimes make it to our sector of the woods to study our "oddity." They look for answers and will make their own up in white papers, thesis, and DSM type manuals.

    Not least of all is society, who without (or with(?) an answer hounds us as perverts at the very least. We aren't publicly free, yet we are public domain and moving targets when out and about. Bigots are still around,and some really do See us as fair game for prey. They will take a MtF to an alley and do anything anything. Those folks don't need answers, but knowledge might prevent just one beating or death. If only one of them that counts had an answer.

    We really should be free to be us.

    Those who don't need answers to anything are not necessarily the minority. But those that do, and are explorative in nature, or in trouble with dressing would like a fair shake, a fair deal, and an explanation.
    Last edited by TeresaL; 01-26-2013 at 01:19 PM.

  13. #13
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    It is not an old and tired question at all.
    Even if it gets repeated there is always a new idea in the melting pot.
    Personally I think it is just part of me.

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    Member anastasiafantasia's Avatar
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    For me personally as a gay male who has never worked as a drag artist i find it quite difficult to explain.I don't fit the "normal" straight male paradigm of a CDer.However i think it totally has to do with expression and escapism with me.I find i can express myself, my mood etc.. with feminine clothing more readily and easily than en homme.It also allows me to escape from everyday pressures and delve into another "persona"; however inaccurate or false it might be compared to a GG's everyday perspective.Fantasy i guess is the key word for me personally.

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    Part Time Lesbian Diva CassandraSmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rachaelsloane View Post
    I might be in the minority here, but I why does it really matter? How many wonder why they like the arts or sports?
    I enjoy it and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Where did I leave my glass of wine?
    For me, it was just an excuse to talk about myself ;-)

  16. #16
    Chickie Read only Chickhe's Avatar
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    I believe there are a lot of variables that trigger it. I think many people who CD are so repressed that eventually they become compulsive over time. I think though, there is something built in to more or lesser degrees and social conditioning has a huge influence on whether you feel like you fit the mold or not. One thing I struggled with most of my life was having different thoughts and pleasures than many people...I often hate joining groups because I just don't get the same enjoyment they are getting off repeated simple slapstick, but at the same time I still like being part of a team and what I noticed is in my own child, she recognizes that she also had huge different interests that most of her classmates...so I try to encourage her to try their ways too...just to experience life...so I wonder if some of it is just related to finding someplace you can call your own vs. feeling like a conformist... ...I am also genuiely fascinated by the transformation so...maybe we just know what's fun when we see it.
    Chickie

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    Senior Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    The biological answer is a dopamine defficiency. The cultural answer is what does it take to boost dopamine.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me.

    You can't always get what you want but if you try sometime you find you get what you need. Rolling Stones

    So many clothes; so little (girl) time.

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    hormones may be the key to much of this activity, but not all

    There have been many more, to my recollection, who have started cding just as puberty hits. I did, at about 13, and it stayed a while and then it more or less went dormant for many years. It appeared on and off but returned just about the time I turned 60. Hormones?? Very likely. Andropause is the male version of menopause. After my cancer surgery, I started to develop gynecomastia and when I got blood tests, my T was in the ballpark, but my estrogen was higher that a females count and higher had she been in menopause.
    I also think there is some psychological stimulus as well and that probably varies with the individual. Hormones would certainly explain the "older beginning CD" . There is likely some hormonal causes when the fetal brain gets masculinized as it may NOT get enough testosterone and retain some characteristics of the female brain. Female fetuses need no hormonal changes to become female. It doesn't have to be genetic necessarily. There are lots of switches that turn on and off the genes and they can get fouled up--blue eyes is a good example.
    I read a recent paper that suggests being gay IS NOT genetic as it would eventually die out since there would be no reproduction among gays but history does show us that some gays to marry, have families and thus may pass along some predisposition. Another study with quite a bit of proof shows that women who bear a lot of children a more likely than not to produce gay sons in that or other generations , so great great grandma who had 10 kids is likely to have produced some gay children. So, we could also be within that spectrum--not necessarily gay but feminine in some part of out psyche. Gay may represent the ultimate feminization of the male fetal brain, and lesbian may represent the ultimate masculinization of the female fetal brain..
    JUST a crossdresser

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member franlee's Avatar
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    Self gradification, whether it be narsistic, sexual or theariputic including any combonation this should cover the base of it. Now we can go further and define it but I have never seen a situation where it was a "have to" to live. I would verture to bet that in almost all situation the urge comes from a need for sexualality and stimulation to what ever degree, I have found it true that at my age the big "O" is not always the climax to stimulation, a pysical act is not even called for except the touching and feel of the clothes and application of makeup, sometimes and most for me is just relaxation and be able to escape the problems and worries of the moment. Recess, if you will! But for the new beginners it is more intense, I would lay odds on it if the truth could be revealed in each case.
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  20. #20
    Member AllyCDTV's Avatar
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    I've seen a few of the studies discussing the biochemical link to it and I feel it has some general validity. Stress and the social environment probably also come into play. All of these contain a wide variety of variables and what combination works to influence one to crossdress is surely different for all individuals. A big factor for me and one that I see rarely discussed is that I have always been aroused by blonds with bangs and big boobs so I created one to look at in the mirror and get off on. Sorry not very scientific and high minded but it works for me.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think." - The Buddha

  21. #21
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adrienner99 View Post
    I know this question is old and tired for some, but after many years of dressing it still fascinates and eludes me....Is anyone aware of any credible studies or articles on what causes the urge to dress, or of any theories that actually make sense?
    This has been a question for at least 8,000 years. India has hjira, men/women who are believed to be both male and female. The god Brahma is often depicted with 4 faces, one of which is a woman. Transsexualism is probably almost as old as when women focused on gathering and men focused on hunting. Weaker males often stayed home with the women, learned to gather, learned herbs, learned medicine, learned to cook, and learned "magic". Native Americans often considered transsexuals to be two-spirit people who became healers, wise men, and guides. In many northern civilizations, women were warriors, and effeminate men became wizards.

    It was spread of Islam, and the Christian imitation of Islamic morality that promoted the concept of gender conformity.

    About 1 in 100 children are born with sexual ambiguity, sometimes called "intersexed", born with visibly different parts, including smaller than normal penis, un-descended testicles, girl with larger than normal vulva and/or clitoris. About 1 in 10 children are born with secondary characteristics - males with index fingers longer than their ring fingers, females with ring fingers longer than their index fingers. Cat scans on these children when they are older often show an underdeveloped limbic system in males, and and larger limbic system in females.

    20th century society is more tolerant of more masculine women. Perhaps the World War II experiences of Rosie the Riveter made those of that era who became parents after the war. Among the baby boomers, about 1 in 5 girls was a "tom-boy" and about 1 in 6 boys was a "sissy" in first grade. By third grade, the MtF boys had learned to live in stealth mode, often to avoid not only persecution of the other boys, but also of fathers who had served in the military during WW II and had a very dim view of 4Fs, and other "draft dodgers" who stayed home during the war. Girls on the other hand, were given permission to wear pants, at first after school and week-ends, but by the late 1960s, most schools were allowing girls to wear pants and baggy shirts to school. By the 1970s, women were wearing pants to school, church, almost anywhere. By the mid 1970s, the style was "unisex" - but with the emphasis on letting girls dress more like boys.

    On the other hand, boys were forced into their male gender roles, often violently. In elementary school, they were often bullied as "sissies", in Junior high, they were mislabeled as "queer", "fairy", "faggot" and other terms for homosexuals. Since they were living in stealth mode, trying to avoid these labels, they often buried their own feelings and desires. As young children, they could wish a magical transformation, Disney movies showed them frogs who turned to princes, Cinderella becoming a princess, Beasts who became princes, on Gilligan's Island a machine transferred the minds of the characters into the bodies of the other characters. Even Star Trek had an episode where Captain Kirk's conciousness was transferred into the body of a woman.

    By puberty, however, sex education classes explained to them the differences between genders. Then came the predictable changes of puberty. As voices dropped, hair grew, and muscles formed, hope was lost. For many, even the possibility of a sex change like the one Christine Jorgensen had seemed impossible. It was too late. Many tried to commit suicide. Many succeeded in killing themselves. Other turned to drugs, alcohol, fighting, and high risk behaviors. They die in accidents, fights, or at the hands of homophobic bigots.

    Almost anywhere in the cycle, the young by tried cross-dressing. Initially, it might be just a desire to see what it's like to be a girl, or it might be the desire to actually become a girl. At the same time, the intense fear of being labeled, being discovered, being targeted, can trigger both transsexuals and cross-dressers to go into deep stealth mode. Often, the only remnant of their feminine desires is the desire to cross-dress. Other desires, such as social activities, become more acceptable as they begin dating, socializing with women in later high school, college, and in career.

    For many of us, it's like being a Jew in Nazi Germany. We become so adept and keeping our secrets, hiding our stash, playing numerous different roles, depending on who we are with, becoming adept "social chameleons", that we can become almost anything and anyone, except ourselves. We even deny our desires. We have lost hope that we could ever become the beautiful girls we wanted to be. We look at women in beautiful outfits and we know we can't BE those women, the best we can do is wear the clothes. For those of us who have large Adam's apples, who have grown too tall, and can only wear plus sizes because our chests and shoulders have grown too large, even the possibility of living as a woman seems beyond our hopes.

    This is a time of wondering and despair. We find our secret times and places, where we can put on a sexy outfit and wonder what it would be like to be a beautiful girl, to go to a prom, or a dance, or even be a bridesmaid at wedding, or even to be the bride. Then we are confronted by the realities of our reflection in the mirror, the picture that gives us away. A carefully posed picture might give us the illusion, but we know that we can't go out and pass as beautiful women. Still, for the few hours we can dress, we have the fantasy of being a woman, being seduced by a man or woman who will seduce us as beautiful, sexy, desirable creatures who are wanted and loved for who we are.

    But as the time for dressing ends, the despair returns. The loss, the knowledge of a hope that can never be fulfilled, a wish that can never be granted, slaps us in the face. We go back to our masquerade, and we do our best to enjoy our lives as men as much as we can. If our wives dress more masculine, we may even resent their ability to cross-dress in public. If they dress very feminine, we may find ourselves struggling with envy and jealousy, wishing we could be as beautiful as they are. We do everything we can to live and conform to our male gender roles, to survive. Our careers, our families, our marriages, our standing in the community, depends on our ability to maintain the facade.

    Mainly, I know I just love it and would find it miserable to live without my feminine things...and yes, the reasons may vary by individual...still I wonder if there is not some common element....
    There is a question on a "Gender test" that I find very interesting.

    I have a magic wand. It can turn you into a man or woman, at will. If I change you into a woman, you will immediately have a family, friends, and career that you love just as much as your current family, friends, and career. If you get changed into a man, you will continue to be a man, and won't ever be able to cross-dress again. Would you:
    1 - Change into a woman and give the wand back?
    2 - Change into a man and give the wand back?
    3 - Change into a woman and keep the wand so you could change back and forth depending on the time of day?

    Keep in mind that as a woman, you don't HAVE to dress up all the time. You could wear pants, flats, and baggy sweaters when you don't feel like wearing skirt, heels, and tight top. If you wanted.

    Which would you choose?

    Is it possible that 1 in 5 boys who started out as sissies, and 1 in 10 who survived to become adults - are still transsexual?
    Could it be that claiming to be cross-dressers is our way of accepting an otherwise unacceptable situation?
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  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Jenny Gurl's Avatar
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    With me it was Nature not Nurture

    I don't know exactly what causes it, but I know in me it was nature and not nurture. I was born with a feminine side, it was not a choice or anything that happened to me in my childhood. I remember as far back as Kindergarten being more comfortable around the girls, and wishing it was acceptable for me to dress like they did. Expressing a creative person within me with clothing, hair, and makeup was something I longed for but quickly found it was socially unacceptable and something to keep hidden. I hope someday they do find the TG Gene so it will be confirmed that it is something that a person has no choice in and they may be able to express themselves without fear of being persecuted. When I see these brave crossdressers here breaking down the social barriers by going out into public and changing the way we are perceived by the public it makes me proud. I have read accounts of outings of many here and it makes so happy to see so many people blazing a path for future generations. I hope some day we are accepted for who we are and not the stereotypical way we are suppose to look and act based on our sex.

  23. #23
    Jeannie Jeannie's Avatar
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    Nothing in particular causes the urge to dress, I just like to do it. I am very fortunate to have a wife that goes along with it and helps me. I am also retired and sometimes I have nothing better to do so getting my girly on is it.
    Marilyn Monroe: I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    I believe it's something hard wired into our system, and we'reborn with it. The urge might manifest itself at different ages in all of us but it's there from the begining of life. I too, thoroughly enjoy my feminine side and would feel incomplete without it. For me, the urge manifested itself at around age seven and will be with me until my carcass is being covered with dirt.
    Luv and Jill


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  25. #25
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    IMHO The subconscious mind is always working and fully aware.The rational mind more or less is an interface between us and are environment.We might not even be aware of the real "triggers".

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