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Thread: Change in sex drive

  1. #1
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    Change in sex drive

    I've been on and off in my cross dressing, but at its peak, my wife and I were having some amazing encounters with each other.

    Over time, as I've dressed less and focused on career, family, etc, we're not that close physically.

    I don't want to think that my dressing was the catalyst for sex, but I'm certainly more open to things in girl mode. Is this something I should be worried about?
    -Danielle

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  2. #2
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    Danielle,
    We are all different in what drives us , sex came into my equation along with dressing at the age of 9, it's stayed with me ever since.
    As for sharing it with partners , why worry about it if they don't have a problem, I had two GFs that were perfectly OK with it, the second one got as much out of it as I did . My wife doesn't want to know but it's something I've finally come to live with , it's not an ideal situation but I respect her wishes .

  3. #3
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    Thanks Teresa,

    That makes sense. My worry is that I have to be wearing something, because otherwise there's not much there. My wife is very supportive, and will do what we need to in order to maintain a healthy relationship, as will I, but it's a recent concern.

    Most of my sexual activity is present when I'm feeling feminine, and if I put that by the wayside our physical relationship takes a hit. I'm worried this is something I'll have to address at some point.

  4. #4
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    Danielle,
    If you want to talk some more please PM me, it is a complex subject, we shouldn't feel bad for what's inside our heads !

  5. #5
    Reality Check
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    When we are young, our sex drive consumes us. My penis made some pretty poor choices when I was in my early twenties.

    As we age, our sex drive diminishes and takes a back seat to other interests. My guess is that it's more age and other things rather than anything having to do with crossdressing.

  6. #6
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    What you are going thru is pretty normal as far as your married life goes.
    Work, family,in general life as we know it.Everything else gets in the way.
    I wouldn't blame CDing on your marital sexual relations.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Nadine Robles's Avatar
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    atlegs: You should not worry at all. Remember that sex drive is absolutely 100% defined by hormones flowing through your body (more specifically testosterone) and that's all there is to it, psichology has a lot to do of course, but at the end of the day, if you could just get a syringe and inject a burst of hormones your sex drive would increase (and later plummet drastically). Always take care of your body, eat healthy and excercise, suppress fats, alcohol and flour, (after all, you've only been blessed with one!) and you'll see a significant increase in sex drive as well as other benefits, feeling more energy in general.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I do not think so, when you have less family commitments on your plate intimate activity has a tendency to be more active.
    Work on your elegance,
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  9. #9
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    Yes, family and job commitments will have an adverse effect on a sexual relationship. I would recommend two things:

    1) Take a mini vacation with your wife, and, that means without a cell phone on and no tablets. Totally disconnect from work.
    2) Go to your doctor for a check up

    I don't believe your waning sex drive is due to a necessity to wear feminine clothing or nothing happens. The interjection of feminine clothing may just be the little extra that sparks your desires, but, is not dependent on it. Of course, the more you dwell on a problem the worse it may get. If you think you can only get an erection when feminine, then it may become true.

    Get that checkup. You may not be aware of something so easy to ignore and yet so easy to detect, such as pre-diabetes.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atlegs View Post
    Over time, as I've dressed less and focused on career, family, etc, we're not that close physically.
    Danielle,

    That says it all. There's only so much of anyone to go around and as life takes it's toll getting a good nights sleep can be far more inviting than intimacy. You're not alone in this;

    http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t-during-CDing

    I wouldn't link your CD'ing and your sex life. It's more to do with simply getting older and that's something no-one what to hear sorry.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  11. #11
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadine Robles View Post
    atlegs: You should not worry at all. Remember that sex drive is absolutely 100% defined by hormones flowing through your body (more specifically testosterone) and that's all there is to it, ... if you could just get a syringe and inject a burst of hormones your sex drive would increase (and later plummet drastically).
    I won't buy that ( are you an MD?) because if that worked ED drugs wouldn't have been invented (and women would have no sex drive)
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  12. #12
    Junior Member Nadine Robles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    I won't buy that ( are you an MD?) because if that worked ED drugs wouldn't have been invented (and women would have no sex drive)
    I'm just trying to say there are other factors besides dressing that could alter your sex drive and should not put the blame on cding without being sure.
    Of course I'm not MD and if you have doubts you should ask advice from an actuall one, I just read a lot back in the day when there was no Internet and I thought there could be something wrong with me (and was too embarrassed to admit to a therapist). Look it up but I believe ED drugs are just blood vessel dilators that don't alter hormones. Of course women have sex drive too -and thank God they do - and their own set of hormones as well.

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