I have been cross dressing for a while now but I'm concerned hows its going to affect my life negatively in the future and i don't want that to happen. Its something that i love doing but i sometimes feel wrong for feeling this way. I don't know what i should do.
Welcome to the club house.
When your young, trying to develope a career, family life etc, then cross dressing can be quite an issue, which is why many people of my age, hid the desire.
When you find the right partner, have been forced back to the bottom of the career ladder and no longer care about money, then cross dressing opens a new path of understanding and increases the depth of relationships - well that's how my life worked out and I've heaps of fun (as per my blog), but it might not be so for others.
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
I think it is confusing because our culture is built on not crossdressing. Seriously, parents and older kids are really vigilant about stopping it whenever they see it, because it upsets the apple cart. On the other hand, all this effort is expended because as lot of boys and girls want to crossdress.
Focus on that! It is very natural, doesn't hurt anyone, and allows us to feel more whole. The trick is realizing that we have to stand up for ourselves. This is true about every aspect of life where people seem to want us to do the wrong thing for ourselves.
We are all beautiful...!
The only way to avoid ANYTHING negative occuring is to stop doing it. And for most, that's not an option, because the desire never goes away. So you'll have to choose which way to go about it, and that can depend on your age and location. We know that more young people are tolerant of crossdressers; what we don't know, is if there are more younger WOMEN who are attracted to crossdressers. And that's the biggest problem that will affect your life: Finding a mate who's ok with it. There are a few that will tolerate it, a few more who DADT, and a whole lot who simply can't deal with it, and won't date a crossdresser at all.Originally Posted by marcusa17
Learn to accept yourself as you are. Figure out to what end you are doing it, because when the woman asks why, you had better have a defined reason, or she will come up with her own, and it probably won't be the reason you want her to come to.Its something that i love doing but i sometimes feel wrong for feeling this way.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Marcus, I can completely identified myself with you.
I don't know how old are you or where you are but it doesn't matter.
What I can say is about my experience.
It's been a long journey as a crossdresser, im in my fifties and after 37 years married i told all my truth to my wife, and not just that im crossdresser but im bisexual.you you say for while, how long is it?
In my experiece, what I learn is to reject feelings as fear, blame, shame and concerns about the future.
All those feelings don't let you think clear. They make your life unhappy and are like devil seeds dropped in your mind that keep growing up ant stop you to fulfill who you really are.
Few days ago read an article about old people dying in hospitals if they have regrets, they say that their regrets weren't about things done but things they didn't do.
If you're young I can tell you with a great grade of assurance that in few years, LGBT won't be an issue as today is.
If you are not young enough to change your life towards your desires, do what you can ddf o don't letting anybody stop you....
Kisses,
Vanessa
Marcus, first welcome to the forum. Don't feel wrong but do take care of yourself and yes when you are young, it is confusing until you find yourself.
Part Time Girl
Hi Marcusa. First off your on the right track asking for advice here. So many of us spent many years alone with just our own questions and guilt. The trick is to just be honest with your self. From there you will hopefuly find it a little easier to be open and honest with long term partners you meet. Then it's probably a bit of a lottery and no guarantee of the perfect life. But crusially you will have given yourself a decent chance of one.
Last edited by Jane G; 06-13-2016 at 11:50 AM.
Welcome you made a right move by coming here.
Its OK to ask questions because that is how we learn.
You are 18 and trying to figure out about life, being an adult seems daunting and you are worried.
Hey we have all been there and know what thats all about.
I will say you need to fully accept who you are and find a way to be cool with it.Yes you like to dress as a female and thats OK.
Just because you dress does not mean you are trans or gay it just means you like to wear womens clothes.
If you enjoy it then do it but don't think you HAVE to tell everyone you know about what you do.
YOU and only YOU control your cross dressing. When anything interferes with life, work, friends, and family, it's a problem. Cross dressing should be just a thing, just a part of you. If it defines you and your life, it has become more than "just a thing," and need professional attention: counselor.
Sounds simplistic but then don't let it negatively affect your life. I disagree with others that you control your crossdressing, but I do believe you can control its impact. That will certainly include accepting your need to crossdress. And it may include making it be a part of your everyday identity and making choices that accommodate this fact about yourself and insisting that others around you accept it as well. There's an argument to be made that doing that might expose you to negative affects. But I think being closeted certainly exposes you to negative affects.
Tough to give good advice in a sentance or two but I'd say first off, take this wonderful forum for what it is...support, but not nessesarily encouragment, only you know how deep it goes.
A gender therapist can better help YOU answer the deeper questions.
I think the more you talk to people that understand, the more questions you'll be able to answer about yourself. A therapist helped me figure that out too. I only saw her for a few months but it was enough to help. Just talking about things really helped. Hopefully finding this place will also give you some answers too!
WOW
Welcome to the club. LOL
I have a therapist who has been so good for me.
Also,
There are is a lot of people going thru the same thing.
Good Luck lots of good people here.
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