How or when do I tell the grandchildren

[Katy Dee]

Can anyone help me?
I am living with my partner, who is not my grandchildrens natural Grandfather, However they love him as if he is. My predicament is, do I tell them when they are older or while young, or ever, that their Grandpa dresses in lady's clothing. Would it be advisable for him to just appear en-femme while they are young enough not to understand. My grandson is two and a half and my grandaughter is 7months old .I don't want to hide it from them. They will eventually have to know as my partner is en-femme most of the time. I don't see them very much, living in Spain, and them in the UK but when they are here, I do not see why my partner should have to give up what is natural to him. I am sure there are those out there with the same problem?
I would appreciate any advice whatever the outcome.
Hugs

Katy Dee

[janet73]

If he is en femme most of the time, and that is how he is most comfortable, then I say do it sooner rather than later. There will be confusion regardless, and it would seem to make more sense to do it now...

Let us know how this plays out!

[Katy Dee]

Hi Janet .Thanks for your input.I suppose at the end of the day it is down to my daughter as to how she feels. She has no problem with my partner and shares likes and dislikes with him etc, but it is her children she has to consider I suppose. When we last discussed it she wasn't sure what is the best to do. I want them growing up to accept everything different in their lives. BUT this is the real world.
Thanks again
Katy Dee

[suzy cool]

How old are they and why do they need to know?

[Sheila]

How old are they and why do they need to know?

Below from the initial post should answer your query

My grandson is two and a half and my grandaughter is 7months old .I don't want to hide it from them.

They will eventually have to know as my partner is en-femme most of the time. I don't see them very much, living in Spain, and them in the UK but when they are here, I do not see why my partner should have to give up what is natural to him. I am sure there are those out there with the same problem?
I would appreciate any advice whatever the outcome.
Hugs

Katy Dee

[paulaN]

Heck I have not told my kids yet. They are 21 and 19. So I don't think I will make any recommendations to you.

[janet p]

When my 2yr old grandson saw me dressed fully for the first time about to months ago he hid behind mommy(daughter) like he was meeting a stranger now he doesn't even think twice about it.So who knows how they will react???

[Jonianne]

It sounds like you and your partner are quite open about the crossdressing and with that being the case, I would imagine the earlier the grandchildren know and see her in her comfortable self, then the crisis of finding out later in life would be eliminated. In your case, it doesn't sound like it will be much of a problem.

BTW I like your photo album with you and your partner - nice pictures!

[KandisTX]

In all honesty, you don't get to decide this. It is up to the childs parents whether or not they should be told. Speak with them, and if they are okay with it then proceed.

Kandis

[stacylynn1]

Why Would You Tell Them Damm Selfish If You Ask Me

[Katy Dee]

Hi Joni. Thank for your comments. I appreciate any advice. Gld you liked the pics in my album. I am so new to all this technology! Still a novice!

Hugs Katy

Hello Stacylynn. You arte entitled to your opinions, but the reason I wanted advice was because I am NOT selfish. That was the point of me asking the question in the first place, because I am considerate!

[Violet]

Hi Katy. I think ultimately, the choice is up to your grandkids' parents. However, it sounds like your daughter is very open minded about it, and that you are as well. My instinct says it will be easier for the children to accept if it's presented to them as a normal, everyday part of life early on.

When I was very, very young, and I saw two men holding hands for the first time, I asked my mom about it and she said, "Oh, they fell in love. Sometimes, two men will fall in love, or two women, just like a man and a woman do." And because it was presented so matter-of-factly to me, I just never thought anything of it. I was actually surprised to learn that people had issues with gay people later on in life.

Anyway, I don't think it's selfish to tell them. I think it's helpful, actually, to the greater TG world, to have kids brought up knowing that people do it and it's not weird.

[Christina Horton]

[QUOTE=KandisTX;1476652]In all honesty, you don't get to decide this. It is up to the childs parents whether or not they should be told. Speak with them, and if they are okay with it then proceed.


I think that it is you and your SOs to decide. If she lives that way it's her life. Kids will except it better and faster then most grown ups do. So tell you daugter that's what has to happen. But that's my worth. Hope things go good. Oh are you a G G you look like one. Well huggs all.

[suzy cool]

Ah ok sorry I missed the age thing. But the question was mainly about your reasons for wanting to share this with them. I would think at such a young age it would confuse them. It confuses me even now and I'm a LOT older..

[Sam44]

I'll be making a similar decision soon: both of my daughters are pregnant right now

In my opinion (and as KandisTX said) you should try to respect the wishes of the parents.

That said I'm reminded of my parent's attitude about nudity: tho they took reasonable precautions they knew that at some point they'd be "caught", whether it was an emergency barf in the bathtub when the toilet was in use, the kids walking in on them "in the act", an accident, whatever... So when it happened they just kept acting normally (with no embarrassment, etc.) and answered honestly any questions that came up. It keep such situations from becoming emotionally charged, etc.

My wife thinks we should strive to hide any of my women's clothing, etc. With the parent's permission I'm more inclined to keep living as we do, but not to needlessly bring the issue up. We'll have to cross that bridge as we get there.

[unclejoann]

I have shown my painted toenails to my granddaughter for several years. It is only occasionally that she would see me without shoes, so it is not on her mind. Now, my wife basically disapproves of me doing this but has not made any big thing about it ... just raised eyebrows. My granddaughter's mother has never seen the painted toenails, and I never asked if it was ok.

My granddaughter noticed that I had a couple of spots of paint on my toes one time when we were sitting around the pool (I had not cleaned them off very well), she turned to her friend and said, "my grandpa paints his nails" very matter of factly.

My granddaughter can handle it just fine. She loves me and never judges. The adults will judge ... but I am interested in having a future generation that accepts differences between people, so i am willing to take the chance.