seeking advice, comfort, or kick in the behind

[Monica93304]

Hello girls. I'm just gonna shoot from the hip here with the hope that someone can give me advice.

I turned 39 on September 26th. That day I checked myself in to the ER because of my extremely high blood pressure. Some time has passed, and not only am I taking 3 different blood pressure meds a day, but during one of my rechecks I weighed in at a staggering 267 lbs. I'm 5'9" and feel that I would make a much prettier woman if I weighed much less. Not to mention the health benefits.

To top things off, I live with relatives that don't know about "me" and I just had to close my small business that lasted almost 3 years to the day. The economy literally swept the floor with me.

Now, I feel that I want to make the change in my life that I should've made when I was 18. I want to live as a woman. Granted, I have to make a lot of things fall into place. It's tough because of my lack of income and the debt I've accumulated over the last year.

I haven't really had a chance to gather myself with everything that has happened. I feel that my 1st priority is to get healthy. But I feel that my body (my knees) have suffered with the obesity. I've been trying to eat healthier. I have lost 7 lbs in a bout 3 weeks which is fine.

How do I approach the weight loss?

I also feel that in due time I will work as a woman. In addition to that, as life gets better, I want to begin laser hair removal, and begin seeing medical professionals to help me to transition. I don't know if I can go through SRS, but I want to be able to live, look and feel as feminine as I can and go from there.

I hope I'm not being vague with everything I've stated. But I felt the need to let it all out since I don't have friends that I can spill my heart out to.

If nothing else, thanks for reading.

Love Monica.

[kimkat]

Sorry to hear about your business but I am positive you will bounce back. The first thing I would do is NOT give into these diet plans you see on TV and second check with your doctor about a safe weight loss program. The diets that promise FAST weight loss is usually do to loss of water weight. And others basically starve your body. Our bodies are designed for survival meaning that it will try to maintain weight. You will loose weight by starving yourself but once you reach your **goal weight**, and start eating normally again you will probably gain all that weight back again and then some.

Your doctor advise you on a exercise program that will be safe for you. For example, do you have any underlying conditions that could be made worse by doing certain exercises.Since you mentioned high blood pressure, is there a lower target heart rate that you does not want you to exceed during aerobic exercise.

He can also recommend you to a dietician who is able to sit down with you and discuss proper nutrition that will allow you to eat healthy and still loose weight at a safe rate. Normally this is no more then 2 pounds per week. This may seem to be the reverse of what you would think, but having SMALLER and MORE FREQUENT meals helps your body to loose weight better then to starve yourself at breakfast and lunch and then stuffing yourself for dinner.

Hope this helps, feel free to send me a PM if you have any questions.

Good luck!

Kim

[Hope]

Wow there is a lot in there.

I understand the high blood pressure, and I understand the weight issues - I am dealing with both of those myself. I topped out at 255, but I am 6'2"... still technically obese. Exercise is my main thing, my gig is pretty sedentary - so it is important for me to keep the discipline of going down to the pool a few times a week. The weight is coming off - but never as fast as I would like. Swimming really is the best exercise you can do. It works out your entire body, it is great for your cardiovascular system, it builds long, lean, toned muscle instead of big manly ripped muscle, and AND AND it won't punish your joints the way running or other workouts do. Important for big girls. On the down side, you do have to get into a swim suit... but once you are in the pool the trauma is over. And the membership at the Y is cheap - at least comparatively.

Of course you know about eating to manage your blood pressure... and I would assume being out of a failing business will help it too... time will tell on that one.

Going forward, if you are looking for work, you should take a look at the HRC list of best places to work for LGBT folks:

http://www.hrc.org/issues/workplace/11832.htm

Obviously a good gig will be key to putting your life back together and it would be oh-so-nice if you were able to keep the gig through transition and after.

[Blaire]

How do I approach the weight loss?

Slow and steady. Your 7 lbs in 3 weeks is a very good pace that will probably stay off. Don't feel pressured to dive into a fad diet.

[Rachel M]

You cant control the economy but you can control your health. Not sure if you belong to a gym, but along with a good diet you will need exercise. There are some machines you can do cardio on that do not have a lot of impact on your knees. Moderation is the key too. Work into the diet and exercise gradually. Talk to a nutritionist to begin eating healthier. Set short term obtainable goals to build you confidence. Okay, now for me to go follow the advice I just gave you. I will see you on the healthy side.
Rachel

[Andy66]

I'm not a good person to give diet advice, being ...er... "fluffy" myself, but I'm wishing you good luck with everything. By the way, you are already pretty.

[girlalex]

agreed. you already look pretty in fact you are passable as far as i can see in the pic. I hope you the best

[Monica73]

Funny, I'm in a very similar position similar weight and height. I have HBP, sleep apnea and other stuff too. I'm working out though and was able to lose 12 pounds pretty easily just by doing cardio an hour a day 4x/wk. That is without a diet change which I'm also working on. I haven't come out yet so I'm not planning on going enfemme all the time, but would love too. Just take it one day at a time on the health stuff you can do it. If it helps watch the Biggest Loser...inspires me to keep going!

[Frédérique]

I haven't really had a chance to gather myself with everything that has happened. I feel that my 1st priority is to get healthy. But I feel that my body (my knees) have suffered with the obesity. I've been trying to eat healthier. I have lost 7 lbs in a bout 3 weeks which is fine.
How do I approach the weight loss?

[SIZE="2"]My family has a history of obesity and blood pressure problems – I’ve been fortunate, but my sister has the same health problems you have described. Since we’ve been living together, and I’ve been doing all the cooking, my sister has improved a great deal – she’s lost weight and given up some of her daily pills. We simply have three meals a day, properly spaced, with small (but decent) portions…[/SIZE]

He can also recommend you to a dietician who is able to sit down with you and discuss proper nutrition that will allow you to eat healthy and still loose weight at a safe rate. Normally this is no more then 2 pounds per week. This may seem to be the reverse of what you would think, but having SMALLER and MORE FREQUENT meals helps your body to loose weight better then to starve yourself at breakfast and lunch and then stuffing yourself for dinner.

[SIZE="2"]Kim is exactly right – weight comes off no more than 2-3 pounds a week when everything is going along smoothly. I notice other changes when we are eating “properly” – everything tastes wonderful, you can sleep soundly, and you can think clearly. I like to gather these feelings in my mind to help stave off cravings for bad stuff, and it works every time. It’s like that journey of 10,000 miles – it all begins with one step. Stay on the path until you gain some momentum, then you’ll be able to make it all the way to your goal… [/SIZE]

[Joanne f]

It is always a tricky subject when you get on to weight issues but if it is your weight that is causing the high blood pressure then that really has to be your main goal at the moment , if you can get that sorted then i am sure all the rest will follow as and when you want it .
You have had some good advice on how to do that so i cannot really add more to it just a sensible diet and exercise, good luck on what ever you want to do .

[Karren H]

5 years ago I was in the same place... 220 and 5' 9" and couldn't walk up a flight of steps.. BP through the roof and high cholestorl.. I knew if I didn't do something I would die soon.. So I borrowed the sons old hockey equipment and joind up for some senior hockey classes to brush up and after that joined a local draft league... Built a slide board to practice skating in my garage.. Started eating salads and fruit and no snacks after dinner.. One portion during meals... The solution is simple.. Burn more calories than you consume.. I lost 50 pounds in 9 months and have been able (+/- 10 pounds) to keep it off for 5 years..

You can do this if I could.. Can... You just need to think of it as a change in lifestyle instead of a diet.. Because when the diet is over the weight comes back on.. I weigh myself every morning to decide how I can eat that day.. And I fall off expecially during Steeler and Penguins games.. But back on the next day!!

Exersize every day... Take walks at noon... Get a step counter and try to hit 10,000 steps a day... Park your car farther way from the office or shop when you go shopping... Eat fruit... Raisins make great snacks... Stay away from fast foods... Drink diet beverages or beter yet water... Lots of water... Get a scale and a bp cuff and use them every day... Wright the results down.. Find a used treadmill.. Great for the winter.. Shovel the snow off your own walk and do the neighbors too!! Great exersize and doing nice things makes you feel good too!


So consider yourself oficially kicked in the butt!!

[Paula_56]

Health first girl

I too have given up in diets and just eat healthly find an excercise that you do all the time. I walk, do it anyway anytime, 30 minutes a day you will see a big change

I cut out processed foods, eat high protien, low fats, tons of cheese and fresf fruit


If you are hungry eat, but eat something healthly, thats a the way the weight will come off and stay off

next is a job..........tough one have you tried health care

I have a transgendered friend who did a career change and now works as a CNA with older people in a nursing home. The older people love her and accept she is kind and caring and has found a niche inthe world

Evolve girl one day at a time.

[iwearstockings]

Don't go on some fad diet but DO the following and you will stabilize and lose weight slowly a little at a time. It will take a couple of weeks before you see any change so try your best to stick to it for at least that long. Once you start to see results it makes you feel great and its easier to carry on with it.
Try to do a 30 min brisk walk every other day.

Give up bread and potatoes completely.(eat your favorite sandwich but remove that bread!!)
Give up alcohol completely.
Give up sugary soft drinks completely.( cut down on diet cola as the acid is badfor your teeth. Water is best.)

Eat everything else in moderation, eat plenty and heartily but count calories and try not to exceed 2500 in any one day. Remember it's not eating fat that makes you fat, its eating too many calories.
JMHO
Good luck

[AmberLynn]

Yea i know what's being said. I have had high blood pressure for some time and i have allway's been heavey.

for the blood pressure watch the salt,that can be a major no no
pop is your worst enemy,i love my pop though
avoid fried food,i eat fried food maybe 1 time a month,other then that it's baked chicken or pasta. and pasta is not bad for you in modaration with light sauce

Im lazy so arobic's or stair stepping is out lol,but i love to walk and bike. Im goning to start bikeing again thru the winter "excersie bike inside" when i quit rideing i was doing 5-10 miles a day easy and was about 30 pounds lighter.

And like everyone eles said,avoid the fad diet's,they may make you lose weight fast but it will 9/10 times come back with a vengence

[sabrina mercedes]

I am so sorry to hear about your business.
I have been in a similar situation late '90's. We sold ours and relieved the stress.
The weight loss aspect I can relate to, as well.
Although I was not over-weight, I still wanted to loss some.
The best way for me was a low-carb diet.
I cut out the sweets, flour products, i.e. bread, tortillas along with chips and focused on protein like chicken and fish, as well as salads and greem vegetables.
Researchers have done studies and found that more weight was lost, eating habits changed and health conditions improved more with this diet then any others.
It really isn't a diet as much as it is a change in eating and lifestyle.
Exercise helps, also. Mostly walking at a brisk pace each day for about a mile. Malls usually make great walking venues.
Good luck, Sabrina

[KayC]

My personal favorite because it's healthy and unlike other weight loss programs, it doesn't just deal with losing the weight (they'll all make you lose the weight but then what happens when you've lost it and stopped the program, you gain it back plus some) it deals with the root causes of having gained the weight...it tackles them one at a time. It works on self esteem and positive healthy thinking and living. I used to be a Prism Consultant, primarily because I believe in the program and know that it works. You CAN get to your right weight and be healthy!
You don't have to buy "special foods", the food plan involves cutting caloric intake and fats, and sticking to healthy foods...utilize fats that come from plants rather than animals, and eat whole grains, cut out sugars, avoid processed foods and stick to natural foods, eat all food groups. Get daily exercise, even just a ten minute walk makes a difference!

[Persephone]

Everyone has offered some good advice, but personally I'd avoid "dieting." You may loose weight, but as some others have said, afterwards you tend to put it back on.

I'm a huge believer in Weight Watchers®. It is not a diet, it is a system by which you learn to enjoy eating better and taking care of your body. There are no rules like "no bread, no pasta" or any of that diet stuff.

On Weight Watchers I lost 40 pounds and I've kept it off, my son lost 50 pounds, and my spouse lost over 80 pounds and they've kept it off.

I'm a size 6-8 jeans, I look and feel great, and I'm loving life.

You can find them in the phone book and the first meeting is free. You don't have to buy special foods or only eat certain things.

Go for it, girl!

[kimkat]

Give up bread and potatoes completely.(eat your favorite sandwich but remove that bread!!)
Give up alcohol completely.
Give up sugary soft drinks completely.( cut down on diet cola as the acid is badfor your teeth. Water is best.)

Good luck

Just something to add to that. Just because something says "sugar free" or "fat free" does not necessarely mean it is better for you. Compare the total calories of product in question to the "regular producet". You will be suprised that some of them actually have HIGHER calories then the regular product. Another thing to look at is how they report the "serving size". The way I look at it is like this: See what their serving size is and think about how much an average person would consume. I think they like to "adjust" their serving size in a way that makes their product look good to anyone who just "glances" at the label.

Kim

[MelanieCA]

I'm a huge believer in Weight Watchers®. It is not a diet, it is a system by which you learn to enjoy eating better and taking care of your body. There are no rules like "no bread, no pasta" or any of that diet stuff.

I will second this. I'm a huge advocate of Weight Watchers. My wife lost 150 lbs. on Weight Watchers and looks fantastic now. It took some time, of course, but because of the habits she learned, she now she eats healthfully without giving it a second thought.

After seeing the results, my mother decided to start on Weight Watchers, and she's lost 40 lbs. so far.

[DiannaRose]

My wife did weight watchers, too, and it helped a lot. What she did, though, was follow the points during the week, then on Saturdays she allowed herself to eat what she wanted (within reason...she didn't pig out). She lost a pound or three every week steadily, and she felt better about herself.

I also sometimes put on the weight a little, and I find when I do that my asthma kicks up. For that reason alone I've been trying to eat more salads and less burgers, moire shrimp and fewer french fries. I'm not focusing on any diet plan per se, just trying to eat better, talk a walk every day, or, weather not permitting, at least do a few sit-ups to tighten the tum a little.

My wife thinks it all just so I can be healthier, but always in the back of my mind is getting to something a little closer to an hourglass figure than a michelin man one. I have dresses that would smoke on me if I could only bring my waist in a little.

Good luck and God's strength as you work to become more healthy, Monica!

[kasha]

I think its amazing to see all the great health tips from our community. I'll add a few more.

Fresh fruit smooties - when you get into walking more. Walk to the nearest grocery and buy some strawberries and milk. Find a blender and there you go. Fruit has lots of vitamins and fiber. And milk has calcium which some studies have shown helps keep fat from sticking around.

Peanuts - have been shown to have a high satiety (you feel fuller with ingesting less calories) and are great sources of protein and healthy fats

Pack your meals - I prepare my meals in bulk then pack them in containers. It helps me with portion control and reminds me to eat 6 times a day.

As far as the other stuff . . . you know it's gonna be a difficult path. Stay strong, don't get disheartened, and believe in yourself. Focus on your job, your health and being happy. The rest will fall into place if you have those three things.

One last thing, I don't want to speak for the rest of the girls here, but I believe you can accomplish your goals. Please keep us informed on your progress, we can at least be your cheerleaders!

[giuseppina]

There is only one guaranteed way to loose weight: you must consume more calories than you eat.

From your description, it would not surprise me if your blood sugars are on the high side, which leads to diabetes.

A good target for weight loss is two to three kilograms per month. More than that may cause more health problems than you already have. I am a similar height, and I was told to drop to 90kg (200lb) a few years ago, which I did. If you are on the small side, a lower target is required. I have rather wide shoulders and wide hips for my height.

If you follow Canada's food guide (or another like document) with the minimum portion size for meats and dairy you can't go too far wrong. There aren't many calories in most fruits and vegetables. A registered dietician will be able to provide a more detailed picture.

Empty calories (soft drinks, alcohol, pies, cakes, cookies, etc.) are excellent foods to stay away from.

Despite what some may say, carbohydrates are not the bane of mankind as long as sugars are avoided. Complex carbohydrates (grains, fibre, etc) need not be cut from your diet.

Foods containing tropical oils (palm, coconut, and others) are highly saturated and tend to increase your blood pressure. Partially hydrogenated oils (trans fats) of any kind are even worse. If your blood pressure is sodium sensitive, highly salted foods should be substantially reduced.

Finally, nutrition is not generally part of the training medical doctors receive before graduation and licensure. In my view, it should be.

[sherri]

To the solid advice others have given you, I would add that my initial research and ensuing experience suggests that you have to get in 60 to 90 minutes of vigorous exercise 4 to 5 days a week. And again, there is an initial barrier to break through, but it really does start to feel good, something you begin to look forward to. The winning formula I came up with is alternating aerobic (walking, biking, jogging, but swimming is excellent too) with weights and floor exercises. Done correctly, both categories give you much needed cardio, which will help your bp. Be careful with the weights etc -- you're looking to tone up, not build muscle mass. And don't forget to throw in all the little extra exercise during the day like Karen suggested. It really adds up. I haven't used an elevator in 2 years.

I can't stress enough how important attitude is. If you look at weight loss as torture it probably will be. The antithesis of that is getting into it. It can be really engaging and interesting, even fun. So much so that I would suggest that you give it your best effort for a few months before you start in on HRT or anything, see how you feel about things then. Besides, the payoff on feminization will be so much better once you've shed the weight! Just keep thinking about all the sexy new outfits you get to buy!

And btw, you're pretty now, but I predict that if you get down under 180 pounds, you're gonna be drop-dead gorgeous. Seriously.

[sherri52]

Hi Monica: Don't try to lose the weight to fast. The best is moderation and exercise. Eat a better variety of food in smaller quantities. Do not skip meals, just eat a little less and have a good selection of fruits, veggies, and fish or turkey ( a great diet food). Walk as much as you can, keep it to a designatd area that is close to where other people are. Walking is one of the easiest exercises that will help you lose weight.

[CherylFlint]

Get a dog and go for walks. Actually, if you have a dog and are a good owner, you will take the dog for at least two walks a day. Walk, walk, walk. Sixty steps per minute. Fast walk, four miles a day will bring you down to around 190 in two years. Stay away from second helpings, sugar is very bad for us.
If you ever expect to pass, as the saying goes, "You can neither be too rich nor too thin".