My wife and me have the fantasy to be a couple of lesbians. As she is my Mistress and the only being human I 'm attracted for , I could say Im 100 % hetero
My wife and me have the fantasy to be a couple of lesbians. As she is my Mistress and the only being human I 'm attracted for , I could say Im 100 % hetero
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Lipstick, high heels, panties and mini skirt...that's me!!! Farrah
Cindy, you must be tired of hearing the same old broken record, but I'm another, I've dressed since I was a small child, I'm in my late sixty's now, and I have never had any thoughts of making love with a man, just not in to it. I've been married to for 40 years and in that time, I've never thought about making love to any other women either, oh I look, and admire, but never think about doing anything about it. Besides, I think it would be hard to pick up a strange women, while wearing lace panties, and nylons.lol You've been married for twenty years, you just got surprised by a really big secret, I'm sure your husband hated keeping that secret from you, but many of us are filled with so much fear about how we will be accepted, it can be really hard to risk the results of telling, I know we should, but it is hard to do. But don't make the mistake that most make, sex and gender are not the same, I'm a macho type guy, that no one would think had a feminine thought in his head, even my own kids would be blown away by it. I was a trucker, did time in the service, and all those macho things, but at home, I love things that are soft, and pretty, and feminine, and after all this years, knowing it's something, I must do, I still have no idea, why, or where it comes from, but I know it's who I am, and I could not find happiest without it. I hope the two of you can work this out, where you can both be happy.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
All men are at least a little bit female. After all, guys have both X and Y chromosomes. Some may be even a little bit more or less female.
As for erotic fantasies?? I'll bet there are more men that do, than men that don't fantasize about sex with another man. The reality might be something that a particular man might find totally fantastic and enjoyable. On the other hand, that person might find the actually having sex with another man as unpleasant. I would venture to suggest that male nature being what it is, many CDs would enjoy any male sexual encounter embellished by the presence of a gorgeous female as well.
Hey, just saying................
Hi Cindy.
Let me add even more to this "broken record". I had no idea I was transgendered until I was 55. At that point I had been married for 32 years. My wife and I discovered Tina together. Again, with that hindsight one can see glimpses of Tina in our marriage and in my life, but intimacy interest has always been women, and for the last 38 years that woman has been my wife. Tina is clearly a part of me! Oh, btw, my wife is also hetero so she has no interest in Tina as far as intimacy is concerned.
Yet, she and I talk about Tina as a third person. Tina and she talk about my male side as a third person. Just because Tina appeared doesn't mean that I have any interest in any one outside of our marriage! The fact is that my wife now has a husband and a girlfriend and our discussions about what it's like growing up as a girl, what it's like to live as a woman, and all the other details that husbands and wives never get a chance to talk about have enriched our relationship.
For us, the revelation of Tina has been amazing. You might find it to be just that as well!
Best wishes and welcome to our not so little group!
tina
Since no one can claim to have accurate statistics, I'll add another piece of anecdotal evidence:
I've only ever been attracted to women. Married for 10 years, and I told my wife about my CDing in the second year (and wish I had told her before we married). I am 100% monogamous. We have two beautiful children together. Because I no longer have anything to hide from her, we are closer than ever.
I don't know if the thread is still available but we used to have the ability to poll and the breakdown was like 2% gay, 48% Bi and 50% hetero. So saying the majority are straight isn't really true. Bi can cover a huge variation of people tho and really straight can too as if you read threads here many who claim to be straight have bi fantasies
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
as many earlier respondents have already noted, it doesn't really matter what proportion of CDers are straight, bi or gay. That has no bearing on an individual's sexual orientation. The OP already has an answer from her SO - who was honest enough to acknowledge his CDing - so its reasonable to believe that he'd also be honest about his sexual preferences.
That's why I always give my sexual orientation as a percentage.
Some people interpret bi to mean that one must be equally attracted to either sex. Others can interpret it to mean having any attraction at all towards the same sex. The distinction can be important if the person's attraction is so strong that he feels his life is not complete unless he is able to have both types of sexual experience.
It would be interesting to see the poll done again but with categories for heteroflexible or bicurious. It would also be interesting to see how many have acted on the attraction vs. just using it as an erotic fantasy.
Cindy, you've just encapsulated in one small paragraph the aggregate feelings of GGs who find out about the CDing after years of marriage. Many CDs here think their wives' disapproval is more about a dislike of the CDing and maybe this is true for some GGs, but it is overwhelmingly true that the biggest complaint is the loss of trust resulting from having been lied to.
As to your question, you've seen the answers in this thread and also please consider that your husband has been with you for 24 years. This is a pretty good indication he is hetero. And if he hasn't cheated it is not likely he will start cheating now, least of all with men.
The 48% bi figure .. how much of this was fantasy, or a desire to be treated as a woman by a man in order to enhance feelings of femininity? There are just so many posts here that relate fantasies of being with men as being more about "feeling" or "being" a woman than an actual attraction to males. The men in these fantasies are faceless. They are just props.
Not saying there aren't bis here, just saying that I think 48% is on the high side. But then it's impossible to measure this accurately. Honestly, if there are studies about the percentage mix of sexual orientation among men in general, I'd say the same percentages would apply to CDs.
Reine
Can I just add one more point here? Not everybody will agree with me I know.
Can we really be so hard on a man for hiding his C.Ding from his wife?
I know its wrong but it’s also very easy to understand.
It’s hard to ask a wife to go on trusting her husband after keeping such a secret but with a secret like this perhaps understandable.
SUZY
Tack one up for hetero. I'm married with a two year old son. My wife and son are wonderful! I wouldn't trade them for the world. I do think that every guy/girl has questioned their sexuality one time or another. That does NOT make them gay or bi. They have to make a decision on what THEY like. Nothing wrong with personal preference.
"If you think you can or can't, you're right" -Henry Ford
I have been married for 27 years and fully enjoy using my man parts making love to my wife. I am only attracted to women. I have no desires of any kind to be with a man. I guess that makes me hetero.
Cindyo, i suspect that perhaps as many as 90% are straight, 2% transgendered and only 3% are gay. Gay men like "men" not women. My wife asked me the very same question when I came out to her. I actually thought it was funny that she could think I was gay! Of course, it is a fair question, I mean I had just told her that I like to wear women's clothes but I had had decades to come to grips with my cross dressing. I highly recommend you talk about it often and get as comfortable with this as you can. It's fair for you to ask anything. good luck
I am a little skeptical about that 80% hetero statistic. Look at all the closeted cd's and cd's who hide the fact from their SO's.. or go to great lengths to hide it, and suddenly they are going to be truthful about their sexuality? I think that the poll you mention might be closer to correct.
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-07-2011 at 08:52 PM.
Instead of guessing, here are some statistics. Anyone is welcome to post additional statistics:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demogra...al_orientation
- US (2011): 3.5% gay or bi, which leaves 97.5% hetero. Percentage of total pop that is TG = .3%.
- UK (2010): 1% gay, .5% bi, which leaves 98.5% hetero (with 3% "don't know").
- Australia (2003): 2% gay, 1% bi, 97% hetero (with 8% bi curious).
- Canada (2003): 1% gay, 1% bi, which leaves 98% hetero.
- Denmark (1992): 3% gay or bi, which leaves 97% hetero.
- France (1992): 4% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 96% hetero.
- Norway (1998): 3% gay or bi (at least one experience), which leaves 97% hetero.
I really find it hard to believe that as much as 50% CDs would be gay or bi based on these figures, especially since sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender ID. Even if you double the above gay/bi statistics to apply to TGs, it would still mean that over 90% of TGs are hetero.
Reine
I always considered myself totally hetero, but the last couple of years I find myself attracted to passable CD's. So I'm not exactly sure where that puts me....
100% hetero and happily married for 14 years. My wife actually dislikes my taste in music more than my taste in clothes...
I only pretend to be hetero so I can pick up chicks.
can't we come up with a definitive percentage?
It can't be all that hard.......really.
You push away political agendas and religion aside, and you might actually get somewhere.
I'll keep it short and sweet. I love my wife and she loves me. (I'm the CD) anyway, is it so hard to believe that she, a full fleged female like to wear men's clothing and do men's things while I, a fully fledged man, likes to wear women's clothes and do women's things? Both facts only show that words like "gender," "fledged," and "fully" are a matter of perspective.
And that's all I have to say about that.
My personal analysis of being out & about amongst other CD/TG folks 50% bi/ 50% straight....not as many committed gay, but a few transitioned TS, that are somewhe between straight/bi/gay. I've discovered some who are gay/bi curious, but ni'm not that into it.....mainly because I'm boring.
Keep in mind that this forum is not an actual representation of statistics. I have it good because I'm somewhere between Philadelphia and NY City, and I reach Boston and DC as well. I can' speak for Kansas City or Denver or the rural areas in between.
Nathalie, I think that it is very hard too get any truly meaningful data on the "T" side of the LGBT statistics. Many people in the "LGB" side are still in the closet, however, maybe enough are out now to make their stats reliable. There is a completely different story when we get to the "T" part. Most of us are in the closet to the real world, use pseudo names to represent who we are and to hide behind so that no one can trace our memberships in various forums, etc. back to the real us. The recent thread on a college wanting to ask about someone's "T' leanings in order to try to direct some specific scholarships funds their way was highly criticized as being unworkable and potentially very "outing" to whoever answers those questions truthfully. I liked the idea but am concerned about anyone's ability in today's world to keep that info truly secure and private. Therefore, most of us are really very hard to accurately count to be able to come up with reliable and fairly accurate statistics that could be meaningfully utilized for other constructive purposes.
If someone knows where better data is, great, but in over 4 years here, no one has come up with any good ones for us "T" people.
Kel, I don't know where you see the WAG. Here are the original sources for the statistics. If you disagree with the validity of these sources, then please do post alternatives.
- US: http://services.law.ucla.edu/william...LGBT-Final.pdf
- UK: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11398629
- Australia: "Sex in Australia - The Australian study of health and relationships", Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society. (Published as the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health vol 27 no 2.)
- Canada: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quoti...40615b-eng.htm
You can look at the references below the article for the rest.
Reine