@ReineD I just thought if I made it fun for her she would be more accepting of it.
@ReineD I just thought if I made it fun for her she would be more accepting of it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but really most GGs aren't looking to have fun with this, not unless it is just a kink in the bedroom. If you wear bra and panties for comfort, then I don't think it's a fun, kinky thing for you and something you enjoy doing just once in a while? You need your fiancée's understanding. Try to explore your own feelings and what you want out of all of this, and communicate that to her. Hopefully she will be OK with whatever you have to say, but don't minimize anything. Tell her your feelings from your heart.Originally Posted by kaylyn
Reine
*giggles*
I know that my wife's big concern is that she wont have any place in my life, from a romantic / erotic stand point, with this. She is not bisexual in the least, and my dressing as a woman holds no interest for her. It's touchy, as this is a new facet to our relationship (but I not really to me in a way.. but it's complicated). Right now it's all about discussion, and figuring things out, and deciding what boundaries each of us can work with. And therapy.. There is gonna be a lot of therapy involved..
If you have ALWAYS wear bra & panties with her and she brought up her getting tired what was your reply at the moment? This is a women who knows about this and is planning to live with you and your response was to check here first? As for living together and hiding it, unless you are living in a dorm room there is likely a way to keep it less in her view. So you are usually in drab but were bra and panties all the time and get no feedback from others? I'm not getting a good picture and as others suggested why now try to make this fun for her?
Curious what you are studying in grad school? Communications?
You best work this out before you marry her because that will likely result in you two also living together.
Kaylyn, one thing I don't see mentioned is this turn-off on CDing may be a cover for something else and the CDing is a convenient scapegoat. Food for thought.
You need to get this resolved before you and her marry. I've said numerous times when a relationship is new, just about everything one does get a pass. Kind of "Love Conquers All!" Even if you're married, everything is subject to change and renegotiation. It's better to resolve this before marriage, and, especially before children.
Put the dressing on hold and see what happens.
Seems to me she’s tired of YOU and is using the dressing as an excuse.
Good luck.
In this situation I would back off for a while, maybe there is a bit too much at the moment.
Sometimes less is better and keeps the novelty alive.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Reality check, people.
Genetic Women choosing to live with us are choosing to accept "not normal" to some degree.
No little girl grows up fantasizing about "happily ever after" with a CD. Living with us is a comprimise of her expectations. We had better be worth it somehow. At the very least, we better be ready to comprimise our fantasy as well.
I recall many times thinking how perfect my last marriage was. I was getting practically everything I could hope for...and maybe a little more. In the back of my mind there was a little voice saying that this was too good to be true. But, I squashed it. I should have listened.
The divorce was focused on other things. But, I continue to wonder if I had been a little less selfish about the CDing, could we have survived her mental health breakdown differently.
Living with us is a strain. We need to know that, and always watch for signs that it may be wearing thin on our partners. And be prepared to back off a bit in order to give her some room to regroup. And, of course, time to realize how wonderful living with us really is, inspite of some "irregularities".
I think she is really telling you something important and it is not "I'm bored with your cross dressing"
Something does add up back in March Kaylyn was asking for advice about getting a boob job and dressing all the time while seeing a gender therapist? bye bye
Kaylyn, just out of curiousity, what is the fun in your CDing for your girlfriend? What do you think that you are doing to make it more fun? I would hope that you hold off getting married until any current or foreseeable future issues are resolved.
I would ask your fiance to describe what exactly it is that she is getting tired of? is it the amount of time you CD, or the amount of time that it is talked about, or whatever else too much may be. When there is advice about backing off, I think sometimes that members on here may think that means a total shut down of any and all CDing or related stuff. You may not have to do a complete shutdown, but pulling back on the reigns of it might be a good idea.
VTVicky does give some awesome insight and advice here. What was said in that post is a true reality check that many of us, myself included may need from time to time.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
I think the OP has left the building.
Sorry, I'm still here just been super busy. I had a chat with my fiancé and she said she doesn't mind the cross dressing or the bra and panties. The only reason she said what she said was because one day I made the mistake of wearing a bra and a thin shirt in a hot day around her parents and they saw my bra. She wanted to set rules about it such as around her parents maybe just panties lol. She then loaded me in the car and we went to Victoria's Secret together spending more money on lingerie for both of us than we should have and then had a fashion show when we got home. But on top of that I was super busy moving things from my house to a storage unit so that we can move at the end of the summer to our new home!!
And yeah I was talking to a gender therapist for a while and we determined transition wasn't right for me and the boob job thing was fleeting because I saw a guy did it for a bet and I was super jealous and wanted one for like a week, the end.
kaylyn, sounds like you're doing the right thing, keeping the communication going. I'm glad to hear it sounds like things are going well! Best wishes!
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