Veronica27
08-16-2012, 12:51 PM
The subject of this thread is not quite what the title might lead you to believe. I am not talking about organizing our belongings, but rather how we can change the perception of the "closet" from something shameful to being something mainstream.
There are all sorts of closets both in our homes and in other places such as the workplace, shops, hotels and so on. We have broom closets, linen closets, clothes closets, as well as a myriad of places we call cupboards or cabinets. We also have these abstract places that we call closets where people hide the fact they they may be gay, tg, cd, s&m, or any other "abnormality". In fact, if you explore the inner depths of most people's persona and psyche, you will find that virtually everyone is in some sort of closet of their own choosing.
Being in the closet can mean one of two things or both. Either your eccentricity is not visible to certain people, or else it is not known by certain people. For example a spouse may know that we crossdress, but never see it, because she does not wish to, or we do not wish to have her see us. Conversely, a friend might see us dressed to the nines at a Halloween party, without ever realizing that that is what we often do. In addition, some people may both see us and be aware, while others may never see us and be totally unaware. When looked at from this perspective, there are things about everybody that we are either unaware of, or never see. So being in the closet about crossdressing is not that unusual in the grand scheme of things as we tend to keep many things private.
Abstract closets come in many sizes and their dimensions are very fluent. We can expand or contract them as we see fit in either their visual or knowledgeable aspects. Just as virtually everybody possesses their own closets, almost every crossdresser is in his/her own closet, some quite tiny and some extremely huge. Our closets expand with everybody to whom we disclose our secret by either showing or telling (wouldn't it be refreshing if this could be a show and tell topic at school). It also expands by every adventure that we take while crossdressed, whether it be leaving the seclusion of our bedroom to explore other rooms in our home, or taking a trip to the mall to do some shopping. Every CD or TG event we attend, or walk in the park we take serves to expand our closet.
But how large can our closet become, and does it ever disappear? Some claim they are totally out of the closet, but as long as certain people remain unaware, such as an employer, then their closet exists. If there are places they would not or cannot go, such as their job, a funeral, a family gathering, then they are not totally out of their closet.
So being in the closet about our crossdressing is a totally normal and socially acceptable thing to be, in exactly the same way as your neighbour's wish to not disclose to everybody that he does crossword puzzles in the bathtub while sipping a glass of his favourite wine. By stressing the benefits of escaping from the closet and allowing ourselves the freedom to express ourselves, are we in fact harming the overall wellbeing of the community as a whole by reinforcing the stigma that there is an element of shame involved in crossdressing as evidenced by the existence of the closet to some extent for almost every crossdresser? Should we instead be normalizing the "crossdressing closet" by our words and actions? Those who are extremely out and about could emphasize the "choice" aspect of maintaining their privacy in some circumstances rather than the "need" aspect of doing so in order to maintain safety or job security etc. Those who are quite closeted should attempt to present an aura of pride rather than one of shame if accidently discovered.
All of this is difficult on a case by case basis, but if the overall thrust of the community's efforts was directed toward the normalcy aspects of crossdressing and the right to personal choice in privacy matters rather than overcoming shame or attempting to create a special "gender gifted" sense about such matters, perhaps acceptance might come more easily. The gay community gained acceptance by stressing the alternative aspect of their sexuality as opposed to a "special" aspect. Being homosexual in a majority heterosexual environment is no different from being left-handed in a majority right-handed world. I do not get a sense that the TG community has reached a stage of approaching things from that perspective, which hurts the quest of the closeted crossdresser to remove the stigma from his private affairs.
What are your thoughts?
Veronica
There are all sorts of closets both in our homes and in other places such as the workplace, shops, hotels and so on. We have broom closets, linen closets, clothes closets, as well as a myriad of places we call cupboards or cabinets. We also have these abstract places that we call closets where people hide the fact they they may be gay, tg, cd, s&m, or any other "abnormality". In fact, if you explore the inner depths of most people's persona and psyche, you will find that virtually everyone is in some sort of closet of their own choosing.
Being in the closet can mean one of two things or both. Either your eccentricity is not visible to certain people, or else it is not known by certain people. For example a spouse may know that we crossdress, but never see it, because she does not wish to, or we do not wish to have her see us. Conversely, a friend might see us dressed to the nines at a Halloween party, without ever realizing that that is what we often do. In addition, some people may both see us and be aware, while others may never see us and be totally unaware. When looked at from this perspective, there are things about everybody that we are either unaware of, or never see. So being in the closet about crossdressing is not that unusual in the grand scheme of things as we tend to keep many things private.
Abstract closets come in many sizes and their dimensions are very fluent. We can expand or contract them as we see fit in either their visual or knowledgeable aspects. Just as virtually everybody possesses their own closets, almost every crossdresser is in his/her own closet, some quite tiny and some extremely huge. Our closets expand with everybody to whom we disclose our secret by either showing or telling (wouldn't it be refreshing if this could be a show and tell topic at school). It also expands by every adventure that we take while crossdressed, whether it be leaving the seclusion of our bedroom to explore other rooms in our home, or taking a trip to the mall to do some shopping. Every CD or TG event we attend, or walk in the park we take serves to expand our closet.
But how large can our closet become, and does it ever disappear? Some claim they are totally out of the closet, but as long as certain people remain unaware, such as an employer, then their closet exists. If there are places they would not or cannot go, such as their job, a funeral, a family gathering, then they are not totally out of their closet.
So being in the closet about our crossdressing is a totally normal and socially acceptable thing to be, in exactly the same way as your neighbour's wish to not disclose to everybody that he does crossword puzzles in the bathtub while sipping a glass of his favourite wine. By stressing the benefits of escaping from the closet and allowing ourselves the freedom to express ourselves, are we in fact harming the overall wellbeing of the community as a whole by reinforcing the stigma that there is an element of shame involved in crossdressing as evidenced by the existence of the closet to some extent for almost every crossdresser? Should we instead be normalizing the "crossdressing closet" by our words and actions? Those who are extremely out and about could emphasize the "choice" aspect of maintaining their privacy in some circumstances rather than the "need" aspect of doing so in order to maintain safety or job security etc. Those who are quite closeted should attempt to present an aura of pride rather than one of shame if accidently discovered.
All of this is difficult on a case by case basis, but if the overall thrust of the community's efforts was directed toward the normalcy aspects of crossdressing and the right to personal choice in privacy matters rather than overcoming shame or attempting to create a special "gender gifted" sense about such matters, perhaps acceptance might come more easily. The gay community gained acceptance by stressing the alternative aspect of their sexuality as opposed to a "special" aspect. Being homosexual in a majority heterosexual environment is no different from being left-handed in a majority right-handed world. I do not get a sense that the TG community has reached a stage of approaching things from that perspective, which hurts the quest of the closeted crossdresser to remove the stigma from his private affairs.
What are your thoughts?
Veronica