road trip - bathroom question

[SaraLin]

I'm looking at the possibility of taking an extended SOLO road trip in about a month. It will be about 12 hours drive time each way.
I'm seriously thinking about it being a completely Sara drive each way.
This will be almost entirely in the interstates between Fla and Tenn.
I'm fine with stopping for gas, and if I decide to eat, I'll probably just hit a drive thru, so no problems there.
BUT - I don't think I'll be able to hold my bladder that long. I'll probably have to visit the ladies' room at least once.

Now, I'm not particularly brave, and I don't think I'm all that "passable", so this has me worried - especially with the haters feeling more entitled to act out lately.

Here's my question:
Where is the best (safest) - rest stops on the interstate, fast food places, or someplace I haven't thought of?

OH - FWIW, I'll be wearing the outfit in the "blendy" post I made in the picture section a while back. I'd include a link to it, but I have no idea how to do that.

Sara

[GretchenM]

Well, first of all, enjoy your trip. I think rest stops unless there are a lot of people there are probably not the safe place to be. Predators of all kinds tend to hang out at such places. I suspect fast food venues are better even though the food often is the most hazardous thing there - not very healthy. Avoid truck stops.

Since you are planning on using a "blendy" approach that should be less of a problem, but even here in very liberal Denver I have gotten the evil eye when wearing a lavender T-shirt and look otherwise like any other guy. Be careful of any tells you might be presenting that your personal gender identity is not close to the binary tradition. I usually carry a shoulder back that is very unisex, but even that has drawn attention lately when for years very few cared, even in quite conservative neighborhoods. I still take it with me, but when I arrive I look around and if there seems to be an abundance of men that show hints of being like one of the Proud Boys I take what I need out and go in without the bag. I hate looking at people with such a stereotype, but they are viewing everybody else from a stereotype and target anyone who is "out of line." Sadly, we have to kind of do the same thing.

Sara just keep in mind that you will be traveling through a part of the country where there are individuals that want to impose their beliefs on anything that differs widely from what they think should be the norm.

[Michaela Jane]

I carry one of these in the car for a "just in case" I am caught short. Personally, I would probably use it rather than face any unforeseen problems.
336088

[Aunt Kelly]

Rest stops are fine, day or night, if they are well populated. Any gas station or convenience store will likely be fine. The main thing to do, and I know this can be a tall order for someone who has not been out much, is relax, and smile politely. If you act nervous or guilty, you're going to invite scrutiny and alarm. Just go in, do the necessary, and get out, just like any other customer.
Happy trails!

[bridget thronton]

I generally use fast food or convenience store restrooms when I travel dressed (they are often single user)

[Ressie]

I would opt for fast food places because they have single person bathrooms with locks on doors. Most people go thru the drive thru of those places too and fewer people go inside.

[Stephanie47]

If you're going to on the interstate road system you'll probably find lots of major shopping malls along the way. Many malls seem to have single use/family bathrooms primarily used for changing diapers on babies/toddlers. You probably can research on the internet for malls and their amenities.

[Emily in the south]

I like Bridget & Ressie's fast food restroom suggestion. There are many located close to interstate exits, so easy to stop there. I have used them as well as Starbucks restrooms as well.

Enjoy your road trip, let us know how it all goes.

Emily

[RachelB.]

Enjoy your trip! I used to stop at fast food places that had single user bathrooms. That way you can lock the door and take care of business. I have noticed that a lot of convenience stores are just labeling the restrooms and not specifying the gender. That way you don't end up with a line at one and an empty right next door.

[Molly Wells]

I have made a couple of hours long trips across Texas while dressed. The interstate rest areas usually have a "family restroom" if you feel uncomfortable with the ladies. I have done that a couple of times when the rest stops were busy and I was uncomfortable using the ladies.
Molly

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I travel the same area all the time. FL, GA, NC, TN, KY. Truck stops and rest areas are your friends. Lots of people who just don't care, they're just trying to get someplace too. I don't travel en femme, but I've spent lots of time in those places with painted toes, toe rings, anklets, leggings, women's tops, without so much as a second glance. Honestly the only people who are going to look at you are the ones holding the door open, and they just want you to get through the door so they can move on.

I see all kinds of people in all kinds of outfits at these stops, probably because being the weirdo that I am I look more than "normal" people, and no one cares what anyone else is wearing.

[docrobbysherry]

If all else fails? Bring along a loose man's jacket and pants. Remove your wig and put on a ball cap, men's shoes, dark glasses, and use a stall in the men's room!:thumbsup:

[SaraLin]

Michaela Jane,
Thanks for the suggestion, but since I'll be wearing capris and shapewear underneath, I don't think it would work.

AND TO ALL THE OTHERS:
Thank you all for your feedback. I honestly don't know if I'll chicken out or not (hope not!).
I just don't want any "unpleasantness" to mess things up.

I've still got to figure out how to de-transform before I get there, since the people up there don't know.
<sigh> problems, problems.

And Doc - the pants and jacket are an idea I'll give a bit more thought to - at my destination as well as on the way. I just don't want to break up my Sara time, if I can avoid it.


And here's a bonus question: (maybe the GG's could help?)
When you go in, do you take your purse or leave it in the car?
Me - I'd be inclined to take it with me.
Right?

[Andrea Renea]

Most Targets, Walmarts and rest areas have family restrooms.

Dollar Trees have single restrooms used for both male and female.

Fast food places are typically single or two stall rest rooms.

Some gas station but the one on the interstates are usually very busy.

I've used all of the above and women restrooms with no issues

Just do your business and don't linger.

[char GG]

Many have given good advice about places for rest room stops.

As to taking or leaving a purse - I either take mine with me, or I keep a blanket in the backseat, put the purse on the floor, and throw the blanket over it. Never leave a purse on the seat or in plain sight.

[SaraLin]

Thanks Char.
If we're travelling together, my wife will have me hide her purse (like you suggested) for a rest area stop.
I just wasn't sure that this would be the same for a lady travelling alone.

[southerngirl]

Starbucks seems to have plentiful locations and they are LGBTQ friendly. Their bathrooms are single person use as well.

If you use a multi stall bathroom and are nervous, wear a mask like we did back in the COVID days. Some people still wear masks as a precaution so it will not seem too out of the ordinary. It will disguise your features well enough to keep them guessing.

Southern Girl

[kimdl93]

I have traveled in this manner quite a bit. My preference is to stop at busy places, and to avoid rest areas with no vehicles. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but bad things are less likely to happen when there are lots of people around.

My other suggestion is to observe other women travelers. They dress casual and comfy, for good reason. You will blend right in.

[Connie D50]

I would say a daytime rest area shoould be fine. I also think McD's or BK the restroom most the time are just to the right when you enter.

[SheriM]

I have traveled enfemme. I usually go to a rest stop for a bathroom break. I drive in and look around. If there is a bus or large group, or a mom with small kids, i'll wait or keep traveling. Usually look for empty rest stops so I can get in without causing any possible issues. I usually use the ladies room but only if I am totally dressed with wig and makeup to look as good as is possible. I've passed by numerous ladies and most do not look or make eye contact. I'm dressed up more than most with an above-the-knee skirt, high heels and hose but people don't seem to notice.
I've also used the women's rest room in fast food places. Again, go into a stall, complete the task and leave. When in a skirt and heels, using the men's is just not an option.

[docrobbysherry]

If u get hassled when you're out alone? I don't think carrying a purse will matter!:straightface:

[Natalie5004]

Stand tall and be proud. Act like you expect to use the ladies bathroom and just do it. Remember you have every right to be out and about. Per Obi-Wan Kenobi, "There is nothing to see here."

[EllieOPKS]

You can also consider major hotels. They always have restrooms in vicinity of the front desk and they always seem to be clean.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Modern technology to the rescue. You can go to refugerestrooms.org and find a safe single user restroom wherever you are traveling.

Some fast food places have single user restrooms, though not all. Where I used to go.

[Dutchess]

Living where I do .. I have not carried my purse in about a year and a half unless I am going somewhere special ( when I go see one of my own horses racing at the track ) then its a special purse that goes with whatever I have on OR my racing silks colors usually so its more of an accessory.

Everyday here in Los Angeles I only do Gpay on my phone .. Its safer for me that way .. If I need my ID I slide it into my phone case . Pretty much eliminates card info /id theft too . I carry as little with me as I can .. If I am in my car ( I am usually on foot or Lyft) and somehow have it , I lock it in my trunk . In the city or out in the mountains on a hike .

[SaraLin]

UPDATE: "On your mark, get set, - never mind"

My SO has decided that I shouldn't make the trip - at least until Sept.

She gets periodic treatments that help her with her pain/mobility, and her next one is at the end of August.
She figures she'll be better able to be on her own afterwards.
I certainly can't argue with that.

So - I'm a bit disappointed, but I can't say that I'm all that surprised.
It's almost a truism for me that if I try to plan something, it won't work out.
"The best laid plans of mice and men" and all that.

I definitely will keep all your suggestions in mind though. If/when I do get to make the trip, I'm sure the info will come in handy.

[LisaMarieDayton]

A former therapist of mine had a list of single use restrooms at gas stations and fast food places that she discovered and provided by her CD/TG clients that she would hand out in my area. It would be a handy app to create and use; A safe bathroom locater.

[nancy58]

As others have said, the first thing to do is to relax. When I use a public restroom en femme, I do the same thing I do in male mode -- get in, take care of business, wash hands, and get out. The Interstate rest areas in Fla., SC, NC, and Va. have not been overly crowded, so there's been no standing in line hoping I won't be clocked. Target on a weekend was quite nerve-wracking for that reason. Starbucks often has single-person restrooms, and some of them are labeled as unisex. Note that when I go out dressed, I try to look like a cisgender woman of my age; I wouldn't have the nerve to go into a women's room otherwise. When wearing androgynous clothes and no wig, I act male.