Sigh, Lonely.

Part of being a CD that really sucks is the fact that its that much harder to find a GG to be with who is understanding and doesnt run to the hills when i tell them what i do. Ill meet someone and when I tell them I like to CD they just disappear. I dont want to be one of those people that keeps it a secret because I feel thats just wrong. I like to be upfront so as not to get hurt when I get attached and they run. Its been a long time since i had someone in my life and more and more I feel like Im destined to be a single person the rest of my life, which sucks. I dunno, Im just lonely and ranting. I just really wish I could meet someone awesome who is understanding.

I have been where you are and yes it feels bad but you never know who will come along.
Be yourself be honest and the right one will land in your lap when you least expect it.

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Originally Posted by Tracii G

and the right one will land in your lap when you least expect it.

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or not and you die alone in some alley in a torn soiled pretty pink dress! just sayin

Im just tired of waiting. Ive been waiting for years for someone to "come along." Im not a drinker so I hate bars and clubs and such. My options are limited where I can meet girls. Pretty much all there is is online and everyone online is a waste of time for the most part. You meet someone, talk for a bit and everything is awesome then they just disappear or lose interest. Its disheartening and makes me feel like crap ya know.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

or not and you die alone in some alley in a torn soiled pretty pink dress! just sayin

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Dying alone seems more and more of an inevitability. lol

Never lose hope and go take a listen to Raise Your Glass by Pink!

There is someone out there for you and when you find each other you'll be blown away :).

All we can do from here is give you : hugs : and tell you that your time will come, probably when you least expect it.

You just have to keep trying. It is worth it when you find one. Makes you forget all the loneliness. Its hard I know.

Now I am not a full on cross dresser. I am very happy in my panties and womens jeans. I have found a woman that loves me in panties and womens jeans. In the mornings when she stays over night, we lounge around my house in panties drinking coffee. I never have to hide the fact that I wear panties, she even likes it when I wear extra frilly, girly panties wuth lace, ribbons and floral colors. She really loves lingerie too and likes it when I take her lingerie shopping. I like the especially girly jeans with no back pockets. She likes how hot they make me look and tells me when we are out in public. I like being out in public, holding her hand shopping and women will look at my obviously girly jeans, (I wear the big flare, tight, no pocket girls jeans when I am with her) then look me in the eyes and stare. I just smile! :)

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Originally Posted by RachelRoxx

Dying alone seems more and more of an inevitability. lol

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Tell me about it..... I've already picked out my pretty pink dress.... its not soiled or torn..... yet..... sigh.....

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Originally Posted by RachelRoxx

Im just tired of waiting. Ive been waiting for years for someone to "come along." Im not a drinker so I hate bars and clubs and such. My options are limited where I can meet girls. Pretty much all there is is online and everyone online is a waste of time for the most part. You meet someone, talk for a bit and everything is awesome then they just disappear or lose interest. Its disheartening and makes me feel like crap ya know.

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I see from your profile that you're 28. Honestly, that tells me that you really haven't been waiting all that long. But be that as it may. Here's what you do. 1) keep looking on the on-line dating services (actually , lots and lots of people meet that way. 2) Besides the club and bar scene, consider joining voluntary service organizations. You'll meet some interesting and thoughtful people. 3) Don't push to hard...and try not to feel or act as though you're desparate for companionship. 4) work on your self esteem...if not being in a relationship is disheartening and makes you feel like crap, then you are basing your self worth on the wrong thing.

As a human being, your value is intrinsic - its not based on what you do, who you know, how much you earn, or what accomplishments you can claim. Believe in yourself and learn to be comfortable with yourself - or to be trite - love yourself first. Then, you'll be prepared to a relaitonship.

Being truthful has its disadvantages. It seems from the numerous CD'ers in a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" relationship with a wife have survived disclosure. The wives are willing to accept some degree of cross dressing because they know the true overall nature of their 'man.' I still think the societal no-no on cross dressing dooms new relationships from progressing. I think many women think society will look at them as having something wrong also for hanging in there with a 'guy in a dress.' Just my personal opinion.

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

I see from your profile that you're 28. Honestly, that tells me that you really haven't been waiting all that long. But be that as it may. Here's what you do. 1) keep looking on the on-line dating services (actually , lots and lots of people meet that way. 2) Besides the club and bar scene, consider joining voluntary service organizations. You'll meet some interesting and thoughtful people. 3) Don't push to hard...and try not to feel or act as though you're desparate for companionship. 4) work on your self esteem...if not being in a relationship is disheartening and makes you feel like crap, then you are basing your self worth on the wrong thing.

As a human being, your value is intrinsic - its not based on what you do, who you know, how much you earn, or what accomplishments you can claim. Believe in yourself and learn to be comfortable with yourself - or to be trite - love yourself first. Then, you'll be prepared to a relaitonship.

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Its not not being in a relationship that makes me feel like crap, its meeting someone and them all of a sudden just disappearing. Makes me feel like im not good enough or not interesting enough or whatever. Its kind of why my self esteem is so low, all my life ive met girls who just lose interest or meet someone else or anything to go away and it makes me feel like im just not good enough. I feel stuck in a box. I constantly have dreams where everyone i know is going somewhere and i just cant get there and it mirrors real life. All my friends are moving ahead, great jobs, great wives or girlfriends and im just stuck here, cant find a job, cant find a girl. Everyday is the same, wake up look for work, get disappointed after a while, play guitar to calm down, play Battlefield, hit everyone up to see what theyre doing, everyone is busy. By the end of the night i cry myself to sleep because i spend all day everyday home and alone. Im tearing up just writing this and thinking about it. My confidence and motivation and completely shot and gone. Like i said i dont really like bars or clubs but im dying to go out dressed. Like dying for it but i have zero confidence, no friends, no money and my height scares the ever loving crap out of me. I know i know, "get out there and try" but its hard when you have nobody to go out with. I am not going out by myself, thats just depressing. I dunno, as you can see my mind is being pulled in every possible direction and my pessimistic attitude doesnt help. Its hard to be positive when nothing has ever once worked out for me, ever.

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Originally Posted by RachelRoxx

Its not not being in a relationship that makes me feel like crap, its meeting someone and them all of a sudden just disappearing. Makes me feel like im not good enough or not interesting enough or whatever. Its kind of why my self esteem is so low, all my life ive met girls who just lose interest or meet someone else or anything to go away and it makes me feel like im just not good enough. I feel stuck in a box. I constantly have dreams where everyone i know is going somewhere and i just cant get there and it mirrors real life. All my friends are moving ahead, great jobs, great wives or girlfriends and im just stuck here, cant find a job, cant find a girl. Everyday is the same, wake up look for work, get disappointed after a while, play guitar to calm down, play Battlefield, hit everyone up to see what theyre doing, everyone is busy. By the end of the night i cry myself to sleep because i spend all day everyday home and alone. Im tearing up just writing this and thinking about it. My confidence and motivation and completely shot and gone. Like i said i dont really like bars or clubs but im dying to go out dressed. Like dying for it but i have zero confidence, no friends, no money and my height scares the ever loving crap out of me. I know i know, "get out there and try" but its hard when you have nobody to go out with. I am not going out by myself, thats just depressing. I dunno, as you can see my mind is being pulled in every possible direction and my pessimistic attitude doesnt help. Its hard to be positive when nothing has ever once worked out for me, ever.

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Rachel, read over what you've just written. Then think about where your priorities should be right now, based on what you've identified. Finding a girlfriend probably shouldn't be the first thing, not even the second thing on your prioty list. Nor should going out dressed. The first thing is to work on your self esteem and the second thing is to get some kind of employment. Get those two aspects of you life in order as best you can, then I would strongly encourage you to spend some time with a therapist...or if you can it might even be better to start with the therapist. You need to work on some personal issues before worrying about friendships, lovers or getting out dressed. Seriously, this is important!

That person you seek is out there, she just hasn't found you yet. Don't give up hope, just live your life to the fullest and do what makes you happy. sooner or later you may cross paths as life is funny like that and it will probably be in the most unexpected place.

It's always best to be up front though, if you read around the forum you'll see that a lot of the girls have been married for years upon years before they told their SO and it had the potential to be disastrous. You will skip that step doing it the way you are doing it.

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

Rachel, read over what you've just written. Then think about where your priorities should be right now, based on what you've identified. Finding a girlfriend probably shouldn't be the first thing, not even the second thing on your prioty list. Nor should going out dressed. The first thing is to work on your self esteem and the second thing is to get some kind of employment. Get those two aspects of you life in order as best you can, then I would strongly encourage you to spend some time with a therapist...or if you can it might even be better to start with the therapist. You need to work on some personal issues before worrying about friendships, lovers or getting out dressed. Seriously, this is important!

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Youre right Kim and I agree. But yes getting work is definitely something i need to do first. Its just hard to suppress strong feelings you have inside ya know? I know if i can just get a job and some money in my pocket id feel a whole lot better about myself. And i do try really hard, i send out tons of resumes, call tons of places, fill out tons of apps. And never get anything. Its tough out there right now. And if i dont find something soon im going to lose my car and if that happens ill seriously snap bacause i have less than a year left on the loan. I will explode if that happens. Believe me i want a good job more than anything, I was just ranting about how i feel in general. Plus i know working will be good for me because it will get me out of the house. And I cant stand being inside all day, which is usally why i go fishing but im poor so i dont even have gas to go fish and relax, so i jam to relax and it works for a while but then i remember im still inside and, well, blah.

And ive seen therapists but theyve never really worked for me. Id rather come here and talk about it because even though i dont personally know any of you we at least share something in common. I never feel better after talking to a total stranger about how i feel.

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Originally Posted by Miss Joanne

That person you seek is out there, she just hasn't found you yet. Don't give up hope, just live your life to the fullest and do what makes you happy. sooner or later you may cross paths as life is funny like that and it will probably be in the most unexpected place.

It's always best to be up front though, if you read around the forum you'll see that a lot of the girls have been married for years upon years before they told their SO and it had the potential to be disastrous. You will skip that step doing it the way you are doing it.

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I agree and I will always be honest up front, I hate secrets and its not fair to keep a secret from someone you like. I usually wait until after a few dates to tell her. But its always sooner rather than later. I see it these forums like you said the potential for disasterous results from waitng years and years to tell your SO, id rather not find someone i love and lose them, instead ill tell them before all that. lol

You just have to keep fishing and smiling. You will make a great catch some day.

Find a TG support group in your area lots of couples out there and one of them may have a friend looking for someone just like you.

Ant the winner of Ms happy goes to Karren.
:-)

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Originally Posted by RachelRoxx

Its not not being in a relationship that makes me feel like crap, its meeting someone and them all of a sudden just disappearing. Makes me feel like im not good enough or not interesting enough or whatever. Its kind of why my self esteem is so low, all my life ive met girls who just lose interest or meet someone else or anything to go away and it makes me feel like im just not good enough. I feel stuck in a box. I constantly have dreams where everyone i know is going somewhere and i just cant get there and it mirrors real life. All my friends are moving ahead, great jobs, great wives or girlfriends and im just stuck here, cant find a job, cant find a girl. Everyday is the same, wake up look for work, get disappointed after a while, play guitar to calm down, play Battlefield, hit everyone up to see what theyre doing, everyone is busy. By the end of the night i cry myself to sleep because i spend all day everyday home and alone. Im tearing up just writing this and thinking about it. My confidence and motivation and completely shot and gone. Like i said i dont really like bars or clubs but im dying to go out dressed. Like dying for it but i have zero confidence, no friends, no money and my height scares the ever loving crap out of me. I know i know, "get out there and try" but its hard when you have nobody to go out with. I am not going out by myself, thats just depressing. I dunno, as you can see my mind is being pulled in every possible direction and my pessimistic attitude doesnt help. Its hard to be positive when nothing has ever once worked out for me, ever.

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Maybe it's time to write country western songs for girls like us?

Seriously, perhaps the rut you are in has nothing to do with the fact you are a crossdresser, perhaps you just need to try and just get a more positive attitude about life in general. I know that is easy to say, and possibly you need some some counciling to get there, but that is just what I see from someone looking in from the outside based on your posts.

Wish you the best!

Just keep trying. Believe in yourself. I have been there, I can appreciate how hard it is. But the effort is worth it.

I usually tell the woman early on in the dating phase. The current one I told on our first date. I cant stand to be with someone that does not accept for who I am and I do not want to waste my time with a woman that is put off by this. Thats prob the reason for my success is that I rid myself of the women I should not be with which leads me to find the one I should be with more quickly.

I know this is easier said that done. You have to be ready for rejection when you bear your soul in this fashion. I have found more rejection than acceptance. But when you find a woman that is not put off by this, it washes away all past rejections.

Thanks girls. I guess sometimes I just need to hear people who have gone through it tell me its going to be ok. I know it will be, Im a good person, just sometimes i feel the saying is true that nice guys finish last. Or in my case nice CD's. Haha. Its part of why I love this site. We all have been through some of the same things and we all have something in common. Thanks ladies. You are all awesome, every single one of you.

In know how you feel,been there felt the same way,first I don't know what type of work you do but keep trying and maybe take something out of your field just temporary and get back on your feet.I know because I have had to take some bad jobs before but it payed the bills(just barely) and then self worth comes back,things get better,confidence grows and that is an important part of going out and meeting people.It says you live in philly,you say you play guitar,why not play in public?somewhere near city hall,maybe a girl will stop to talk to an interesting musician.All things in good time,get out enjoy your freedom,breath in the air(cough,cough),soak up the sun,do some girl watching and pick up some tips through observation,"allways look on the bright side of life",you know the song.
luck and joy Lisa

THis song always puts a smile on my face when I play it. Cliffs of Dover by Eric Johnson. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55nAwmVLQSk

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Originally Posted by RachelRoxx

Part of being a CD that really sucks is the fact that its that much harder to find a GG to be with who is understanding and doesnt run to the hills when i tell them what i do. Ill meet someone and when I tell them I like to CD they just disappear. I dont want to be one of those people that keeps it a secret because I feel thats just wrong. I like to be upfront so as not to get hurt when I get attached and they run. Its been a long time since i had someone in my life and more and more I feel like Im destined to be a single person the rest of my life, which sucks. I dunno, Im just lonely and ranting. I just really wish I could meet someone awesome who is understanding.

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Hi Rachel
Listen, when you meet a girl and you think she may be the one,then concentrate on her,forget about everything else .Your going to need to build a foundation on love and trust first before you throw this out at her. I sense,(dont wig out everyone, just an opinion,no offense meant) women and men are like children. How would you feel if some girl popped out something off the wall to you after 6 mos of dating? Like a child you need to earn thier trust and love before you tell something like that.

I know......I know.............Whaaaaaaaaaat?:heehee:

Thera

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Originally Posted by Thera Home

Hi Rachel
Listen, when you meet a girl and you think she may be the one,then concentrate on her,forget about everything else .Your going to need to build a foundation on love and trust first before you throw this out at her. I sense,(dont wig out everyone, just an opinion,no offense meant) women and men are like children. How would you feel if some girl popped out something off the wall to you after 6 mos of dating? Like a child you need to earn thier trust and love before you tell something like that.

I know......I know.............Whaaaaaaaaaat?:heehee:

Thera

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Well personally I would be extremely pissed that she didnt tell me right off the bat. I dont want to fall in love with someone then have them tell me something that could be a dealbreaker. So ill stick to being upfront after a few dates to avoid heartbreak. My heart has been broken too many times and ive built a re enforced concrete wall around it with barbed wire and land mines protecting it. lol. It will not happen again. But whatever works for some i guess. Just doesnt work for me.

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Originally Posted by Thera Home

.Your going to need to build a foundation on love and trust first before you throw this out at her.
Thera

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Oh right and then after this trust and love has been built up, she is told about the cding...yeah then all that trust just went out of the window! You should really read some of the posts from the GGs here.

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Originally Posted by Sandra

Oh right and then after this trust and love has been built up, she is told about the cding...yeah then all that trust just went out of the window! You should really read some of the posts from the GGs here.

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Exactly. I think, and most ould agree, its better to be upfront and honest in the beginning rather than later. All that "love and trust" will be destroyed when she finds out ive been keeping a secret for so long. Really bad idea. Plus its better for the protection of my heart to just say it in the beginning rather than say it later and risk being heartbroken.