Sigh, Lonely.

[RachelRoxx]

Im just tired of waiting. Ive been waiting for years for someone to "come along." Im not a drinker so I hate bars and clubs and such. My options are limited where I can meet girls. Pretty much all there is is online and everyone online is a waste of time for the most part. You meet someone, talk for a bit and everything is awesome then they just disappear or lose interest. Its disheartening and makes me feel like crap ya know.

or not and you die alone in some alley in a torn soiled pretty pink dress! just sayin

Dying alone seems more and more of an inevitability. lol

[Mistress Frillee]

You just have to keep trying. It is worth it when you find one. Makes you forget all the loneliness. Its hard I know.

Now I am not a full on cross dresser. I am very happy in my panties and womens jeans. I have found a woman that loves me in panties and womens jeans. In the mornings when she stays over night, we lounge around my house in panties drinking coffee. I never have to hide the fact that I wear panties, she even likes it when I wear extra frilly, girly panties wuth lace, ribbons and floral colors. She really loves lingerie too and likes it when I take her lingerie shopping. I like the especially girly jeans with no back pockets. She likes how hot they make me look and tells me when we are out in public. I like being out in public, holding her hand shopping and women will look at my obviously girly jeans, (I wear the big flare, tight, no pocket girls jeans when I am with her) then look me in the eyes and stare. I just smile!

[kimdl93]

Im just tired of waiting. Ive been waiting for years for someone to "come along." Im not a drinker so I hate bars and clubs and such. My options are limited where I can meet girls. Pretty much all there is is online and everyone online is a waste of time for the most part. You meet someone, talk for a bit and everything is awesome then they just disappear or lose interest. Its disheartening and makes me feel like crap ya know.

I see from your profile that you're 28. Honestly, that tells me that you really haven't been waiting all that long. But be that as it may. Here's what you do. 1) keep looking on the on-line dating services (actually , lots and lots of people meet that way. 2) Besides the club and bar scene, consider joining voluntary service organizations. You'll meet some interesting and thoughtful people. 3) Don't push to hard...and try not to feel or act as though you're desparate for companionship. 4) work on your self esteem...if not being in a relationship is disheartening and makes you feel like crap, then you are basing your self worth on the wrong thing.

As a human being, your value is intrinsic - its not based on what you do, who you know, how much you earn, or what accomplishments you can claim. Believe in yourself and learn to be comfortable with yourself - or to be trite - love yourself first. Then, you'll be prepared to a relaitonship.

[Stephanie47]

Being truthful has its disadvantages. It seems from the numerous CD'ers in a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" relationship with a wife have survived disclosure. The wives are willing to accept some degree of cross dressing because they know the true overall nature of their 'man.' I still think the societal no-no on cross dressing dooms new relationships from progressing. I think many women think society will look at them as having something wrong also for hanging in there with a 'guy in a dress.' Just my personal opinion.

[RachelRoxx]

I see from your profile that you're 28. Honestly, that tells me that you really haven't been waiting all that long. But be that as it may. Here's what you do. 1) keep looking on the on-line dating services (actually , lots and lots of people meet that way. 2) Besides the club and bar scene, consider joining voluntary service organizations. You'll meet some interesting and thoughtful people. 3) Don't push to hard...and try not to feel or act as though you're desparate for companionship. 4) work on your self esteem...if not being in a relationship is disheartening and makes you feel like crap, then you are basing your self worth on the wrong thing.

As a human being, your value is intrinsic - its not based on what you do, who you know, how much you earn, or what accomplishments you can claim. Believe in yourself and learn to be comfortable with yourself - or to be trite - love yourself first. Then, you'll be prepared to a relaitonship.

Its not not being in a relationship that makes me feel like crap, its meeting someone and them all of a sudden just disappearing. Makes me feel like im not good enough or not interesting enough or whatever. Its kind of why my self esteem is so low, all my life ive met girls who just lose interest or meet someone else or anything to go away and it makes me feel like im just not good enough. I feel stuck in a box. I constantly have dreams where everyone i know is going somewhere and i just cant get there and it mirrors real life. All my friends are moving ahead, great jobs, great wives or girlfriends and im just stuck here, cant find a job, cant find a girl. Everyday is the same, wake up look for work, get disappointed after a while, play guitar to calm down, play Battlefield, hit everyone up to see what theyre doing, everyone is busy. By the end of the night i cry myself to sleep because i spend all day everyday home and alone. Im tearing up just writing this and thinking about it. My confidence and motivation and completely shot and gone. Like i said i dont really like bars or clubs but im dying to go out dressed. Like dying for it but i have zero confidence, no friends, no money and my height scares the ever loving crap out of me. I know i know, "get out there and try" but its hard when you have nobody to go out with. I am not going out by myself, thats just depressing. I dunno, as you can see my mind is being pulled in every possible direction and my pessimistic attitude doesnt help. Its hard to be positive when nothing has ever once worked out for me, ever.

[kimdl93]

Its not not being in a relationship that makes me feel like crap, its meeting someone and them all of a sudden just disappearing. Makes me feel like im not good enough or not interesting enough or whatever. Its kind of why my self esteem is so low, all my life ive met girls who just lose interest or meet someone else or anything to go away and it makes me feel like im just not good enough. I feel stuck in a box. I constantly have dreams where everyone i know is going somewhere and i just cant get there and it mirrors real life. All my friends are moving ahead, great jobs, great wives or girlfriends and im just stuck here, cant find a job, cant find a girl. Everyday is the same, wake up look for work, get disappointed after a while, play guitar to calm down, play Battlefield, hit everyone up to see what theyre doing, everyone is busy. By the end of the night i cry myself to sleep because i spend all day everyday home and alone. Im tearing up just writing this and thinking about it. My confidence and motivation and completely shot and gone. Like i said i dont really like bars or clubs but im dying to go out dressed. Like dying for it but i have zero confidence, no friends, no money and my height scares the ever loving crap out of me. I know i know, "get out there and try" but its hard when you have nobody to go out with. I am not going out by myself, thats just depressing. I dunno, as you can see my mind is being pulled in every possible direction and my pessimistic attitude doesnt help. Its hard to be positive when nothing has ever once worked out for me, ever.

Rachel, read over what you've just written. Then think about where your priorities should be right now, based on what you've identified. Finding a girlfriend probably shouldn't be the first thing, not even the second thing on your prioty list. Nor should going out dressed. The first thing is to work on your self esteem and the second thing is to get some kind of employment. Get those two aspects of you life in order as best you can, then I would strongly encourage you to spend some time with a therapist...or if you can it might even be better to start with the therapist. You need to work on some personal issues before worrying about friendships, lovers or getting out dressed. Seriously, this is important!

[RachelRoxx]

Rachel, read over what you've just written. Then think about where your priorities should be right now, based on what you've identified. Finding a girlfriend probably shouldn't be the first thing, not even the second thing on your prioty list. Nor should going out dressed. The first thing is to work on your self esteem and the second thing is to get some kind of employment. Get those two aspects of you life in order as best you can, then I would strongly encourage you to spend some time with a therapist...or if you can it might even be better to start with the therapist. You need to work on some personal issues before worrying about friendships, lovers or getting out dressed. Seriously, this is important!

Youre right Kim and I agree. But yes getting work is definitely something i need to do first. Its just hard to suppress strong feelings you have inside ya know? I know if i can just get a job and some money in my pocket id feel a whole lot better about myself. And i do try really hard, i send out tons of resumes, call tons of places, fill out tons of apps. And never get anything. Its tough out there right now. And if i dont find something soon im going to lose my car and if that happens ill seriously snap bacause i have less than a year left on the loan. I will explode if that happens. Believe me i want a good job more than anything, I was just ranting about how i feel in general. Plus i know working will be good for me because it will get me out of the house. And I cant stand being inside all day, which is usally why i go fishing but im poor so i dont even have gas to go fish and relax, so i jam to relax and it works for a while but then i remember im still inside and, well, blah.

And ive seen therapists but theyve never really worked for me. Id rather come here and talk about it because even though i dont personally know any of you we at least share something in common. I never feel better after talking to a total stranger about how i feel.

That person you seek is out there, she just hasn't found you yet. Don't give up hope, just live your life to the fullest and do what makes you happy. sooner or later you may cross paths as life is funny like that and it will probably be in the most unexpected place.

It's always best to be up front though, if you read around the forum you'll see that a lot of the girls have been married for years upon years before they told their SO and it had the potential to be disastrous. You will skip that step doing it the way you are doing it.

I agree and I will always be honest up front, I hate secrets and its not fair to keep a secret from someone you like. I usually wait until after a few dates to tell her. But its always sooner rather than later. I see it these forums like you said the potential for disasterous results from waitng years and years to tell your SO, id rather not find someone i love and lose them, instead ill tell them before all that. lol

[Lady Panda]

As a GG ... I just want to say Nice guys DONOT finish last....If you go to a bar, jsut bear in mind those girls are looking for bad boys. so go where the nice girls go. My SO is a nice guy. I LOVE nice guys. They are the best!
Hang in there be yourself and it'll happen.

[~Joanne~]

That person you seek is out there, she just hasn't found you yet. Don't give up hope, just live your life to the fullest and do what makes you happy. sooner or later you may cross paths as life is funny like that and it will probably be in the most unexpected place.

It's always best to be up front though, if you read around the forum you'll see that a lot of the girls have been married for years upon years before they told their SO and it had the potential to be disastrous. You will skip that step doing it the way you are doing it.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Its not not being in a relationship that makes me feel like crap, its meeting someone and them all of a sudden just disappearing. Makes me feel like im not good enough or not interesting enough or whatever. Its kind of why my self esteem is so low, all my life ive met girls who just lose interest or meet someone else or anything to go away and it makes me feel like im just not good enough. I feel stuck in a box. I constantly have dreams where everyone i know is going somewhere and i just cant get there and it mirrors real life. All my friends are moving ahead, great jobs, great wives or girlfriends and im just stuck here, cant find a job, cant find a girl. Everyday is the same, wake up look for work, get disappointed after a while, play guitar to calm down, play Battlefield, hit everyone up to see what theyre doing, everyone is busy. By the end of the night i cry myself to sleep because i spend all day everyday home and alone. Im tearing up just writing this and thinking about it. My confidence and motivation and completely shot and gone. Like i said i dont really like bars or clubs but im dying to go out dressed. Like dying for it but i have zero confidence, no friends, no money and my height scares the ever loving crap out of me. I know i know, "get out there and try" but its hard when you have nobody to go out with. I am not going out by myself, thats just depressing. I dunno, as you can see my mind is being pulled in every possible direction and my pessimistic attitude doesnt help. Its hard to be positive when nothing has ever once worked out for me, ever.

Maybe it's time to write country western songs for girls like us?

Seriously, perhaps the rut you are in has nothing to do with the fact you are a crossdresser, perhaps you just need to try and just get a more positive attitude about life in general. I know that is easy to say, and possibly you need some some counciling to get there, but that is just what I see from someone looking in from the outside based on your posts.

Wish you the best!

[Mistress Frillee]

Just keep trying. Believe in yourself. I have been there, I can appreciate how hard it is. But the effort is worth it.

I usually tell the woman early on in the dating phase. The current one I told on our first date. I cant stand to be with someone that does not accept for who I am and I do not want to waste my time with a woman that is put off by this. Thats prob the reason for my success is that I rid myself of the women I should not be with which leads me to find the one I should be with more quickly.

I know this is easier said that done. You have to be ready for rejection when you bear your soul in this fashion. I have found more rejection than acceptance. But when you find a woman that is not put off by this, it washes away all past rejections.

[lingerieLiz]

I've met girls and dated them when shopping in women's stores. A lot of it is attitude and confidence about yourself. I've been married a long time, but about 10 years ago I met a SA in the lingerie department where I had tried on and purchaed a bra. We were talking and I asked if she would like to have lunch. I found her interesting to talk to nothing more. She thought I wanted a date and said she had just gotten engaged and wished she had met me before.

I've met far more girls in stores and at events than in bars. Go where the most girls are and be your self. Church girls date CDs too.