Gee. What a shame to see this on Yahoo! Personals.

Hi all

I found this less than flattering (to CDers) advice to daters about crossdressers after I clicked a link in a Yahoo! Personals newsletter-type bulletin (I may not be dating but I believe it's wise to read the dating advice -- even if with a grain of salt -- that can be found).

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/singles-life_breakup-nine-signs;_ylc=X3oDMTI1b3VlNWRjBF9TAzk2NTMxOTczBF9zAwR zZWMDYnJlYWt1cC1ndWlkZS1oZWFydGJyZWFrZXJzBHNsawNua W5lLXNpZ25zLWJvbHRvbg--

That's a long, ugly link, so in case it doesn't work you should be able to find it by navigating from the Yahoo! Personals front page like this:

About Dating & Relationships > Singles: Life & Times > Ten Signs That He's Not the One for You

Look at sign #3: LIKES YOUR CLOTHES... A LOT

Hugs,
Lisa

That's a terrible "editorial" on us! Can they bash a particular group like that?

Peggy

The problem with columns written on Yahoo! and MSN, I think, is that they are practically designed to leave both parties in a fledgling relationship leave disappointed. They give a ridiculously short list of "red flags" and exaggerate them so they sound like they could only be part of some horrible creep. I can't believe people actually buy into this crap. At least magazines like Cosmo put out positive tips, if unrealistic, about how to keep a relationship going.

Basically this is what this article tells one not to do:

1) Never be down

2) Agreed with this one

3) Never dress unlike a man's man

4) Never get divorced after having children

5) Don't work hard

6) Don't touch yourself inappropriately

7) Don't try to make yourself look good

8) Real men have never had family problems

9) Obviously

10) Obviously

Whoa! Run, don't walk away from a CDer! Are we that bad? Don't we have any redeeming qualities? What do our resident GG's think about that advice column?

well the offending passage is....

3) LIKES YOUR CLOTHES…A LOT: A man dressing like a woman at Halloween once is funny – twice, not so much. Three times and he also wants to shop at Victoria’s Secret with you, and it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. Look, a good man may be hard to find, but you have plenty of “girl” friends. Stay casual friends with this guy if you like, but say “bye bye” to romance and find a man who prefers trousers over panty hose.

Well, is not BAD advice is it? What I find postive about it is that it does say that that its ok to have a CD as a friend, a gal-pal, to see it any different is to see it all about sex, and I thought were were trying to get away from that. I have lots of GF who like to go out with me, shop with me, ski with me, even sleep with me, they just don't want to be in an intimate sexual relation with me, and that's cool.

what does the rest of it say?????
-don't go out with a drunk/druggie - I agree
-don't date married men - I agree
-don't date anyone in love with thier ex
-avoid sex/pron addicts
-trust your instincts
-avoid violent weapon packing people - good advice always, if for not other reason than a weapon is a male compensation for a tiny weinie and an abridgement of common sense - moreover, the person its most likely to be used on is you
-dont' date people who place more value in inanmatie object than real people
-know that to a workaholic you will never be more than number two

I find nothing wrong with this with the exception of wanting to add to #3 the sentence "Unless that is what you are into" at the end of it

not bad, i find it interesting that the cd thing appears at all, much less so high on the list, must be more of us than we think

And girls, never trust a man who can not spend the night sleeping next to a women without having sex.

That's why people with shallow minds should stay away from the written word. An open mind looks at the whole picture, where as a shallow mind believes what they read. I think who ever wrote the article should come and visit CD.com. But then again, it might bust their bubble.

Lanore

in truth, considering how many people in here confess to wanting to have sex with another boy, it might make them feels worse.

As some others have already written, the advice is not bad. As a matter of fact, it is really quite good. Even the comment about CDs offers the idea that a person could continue a friendly relationship with a CD if that person really likes the CD. I don't like getting "bad" press any more than the next girl, but this is pretty harmless. One other writer noted that it could have added "unless that's what you like"--I agree.

Pop one size fits all dating advice. Take it for the low brow conventional wisdom it is.

Did you notice all of the dating service ads listed?
Doesn't look like good advice to me.
:hugs:

considering the number of posts that feature CDs afraid to tell thier wives/GFs and the number that have and got divorced or at the least, a very much chilled relationship, then you can't call this low-brow, unless you are putting that label on all these wives and GFs / conventional seems better

Girls - at least those not in a relationship - don't lie, find a total sexual pervert super-freak who does not mind, or might even celebrate your deal in fair and open exchange for playing her game with her / that path is the happy one / be open, be honest from the start / and at the least , you might find a few GGs who will let you be one of the girls, and how bad is that?

I'm with you on this one Amanda. :yt: It's not too negative.

I do wish we were more like number 10 on the list, but you have to remember that these people are writing for the interest factor. You have to keep the reader interested, so putting something like A CDer closer to the top piques womens interest. We're exotic!:dom:

Why didn't they lead off the article with the abuser? Because that's a downer, and fewer would want to finish the article.

Hugs, Lori

I fired off the following email to them, and I think everyone here should do the same, let them have it, I say!!

Well, thank you so much for scaring women everywhere into dumping a guy that happens to be a crossdresser (in your Ten Signs That He's Not the One for You... And That You May Be Headed for a Break-Up - reason #3), lumping us with guys that batter women - thanks! There are thousands - millions - of heterosexual crossdressers in the world that are wonderful husbands, boyfriends, and fathers. You do a great disservice to women by advising them to break up with a guy just because he might like to dress as a woman from time to time. And I'll tell you what - I'll stop wearing pantyhose when women stop wearing trousers!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lisameaghan

Hi all

I found this less than flattering (to CDers) advice to daters about crossdressers after I clicked a link in a Yahoo! Personals newsletter-type bulletin (I may not be dating but I believe it's wise to read the dating advice -- even if with a grain of salt -- that can be found).

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/singles-life_breakup-nine-signs;_ylc=X3oDMTI1b3VlNWRjBF9TAzk2NTMxOTczBF9zAwR zZWMDYnJlYWt1cC1ndWlkZS1oZWFydGJyZWFrZXJzBHNsawNua W5lLXNpZ25zLWJvbHRvbg--

That's a long, ugly link, so in case it doesn't work you should be able to find it by navigating from the Yahoo! Personals front page like this:

About Dating & Relationships > Singles: Life & Times > Ten Signs That He's Not the One for You

Look at sign #3: LIKES YOUR CLOTHES... A LOT

Hugs,
Lisa

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FromGoofus:

I fired off the following email to them, and I think everyone here should do the same, let them have it, I say!!

"Well, thank you so much for scaring women everywhere into dumping a guy that happens to be a crossdresser (in your Ten Signs That He's Not the One for You... And That You May Be Headed for a Break-Up - reason #3), lumping us with guys that batter women - thanks! There are thousands - millions - of heterosexual crossdressers in the world that are wonderful husbands, boyfriends, and fathers. You do a great disservice to women by advising them to break up with a guy just because he might like to dress as a woman from time to time. And I'll tell you what - I'll stop wearing pantyhose when women stop wearing trousers!"

Good one Goofus! You go girl!

Peggy

most women can spot an abuser a mile away, but as we know from these boards CDs can lie like a rug, to thier friends, family and loved ones, like I said, the only thing I would change would be to add "unless that is your thing"

stupefying imbecility...but any person who unquestioningly accepts unsolicited advice from an internet-based advice column gets what he/she deserves. FYI note that the analysis on a few of the non-CD matters is similarly moronic.

That sounds Like a bunch of CRAP, who are they to say we can't LOVE or have a lasting relationship!

let's review...

if you have a daughter do you want her to marry...
someone with drug problems, or a problem drinker?
somone who would put thier job ahead of thier family?
someone who has a history of violence? (and a weapon is a signal of violence, make no mistake about that - to carry one is to think you need to use one - if you don't think you will be involved in violence, you don't go 'armed with intent")
someone who thinks that things are more important than people?
someone who is downloading porn, going to strip shows or hiring hookers?
someone who has other girlfriends, or past relations that they have not got over?

do you?

do you want her to marry someone who has a sexual preoccupation with women's clothes but will not tell her the truth about it?

Actually, I found the whole article rather offensive as a 'male' and a 'CD'er'

What makes these two twits such experts. I've seen plenty of really pathetic behaviour on both side of the fence when it comes to the 'Mating Game'. Tell you the truth, I am fortunate enough to be in a really great relationship (Marriage), However if I were single, the choices out there aren't much chop, I'd probably stay single...:2c:

Pity the poor fools who got stuck with these two MORONS

Sarah R. :bunny:

Well, you know.... what do you expect from a Yahoo dating page? It seems, to me, like a (slightly) older girls version of what you get in those lame sugar filled teenage magazines. It's all about following the flock...like moronic mindless sheep. All they said in this article was stereotypical trite for the single girl. Half the things were so obvious (don't date an alcoholic or a drug addict) and the other half were just what you are "supposed to do" to be "normal"....whatever normal is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Amanda Jane

let's review...

if you have a daughter do you want her to marry...
someone with drug problems, or a problem drinker?
somone who would put thier job ahead of thier family?
someone who has a history of violence? (and a weapon is a signal of violence, make no mistake about that - to carry one is to think you need to use one - if you don't think you will be involved in violence, you don't go 'armed with intent")
someone who thinks that things are more important than people?
someone who is downloading porn, going to strip shows or hiring hookers?
someone who has other girlfriends, or past relations that they have not got over?

do you?

do you want her to marry someone who has a sexual preoccupation with women's clothes but will not tell her the truth about it?

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Actually, I would want my daughter, (or my son) to marry someone they loves in the real meaning of the word, and someone that loves them back the same way. Period. No qualifications on that at all...

And before you ask, if you ask me what the true meaning of the word 'love' is, then I am sorry for you, for you have not found it. Period.

the "twits" you refer to are in fact people who know more about men than men do. We call them 'women."

and really, you want your daughter to marry a drunk, or a meth head (who can, by the way know what love is, they love booze, they love meth)?

Is is OK for her 'love' to beat her - because, as many such people say - they did it out of love?

Like Amanda already said, it is most interesting that CDing is mentioned at all and on a high rank.
That is somehow encouraging.

One thing that buggs me a bit though, is that physical attacks are rank 9 only.:rolleyes:
These ladies seem to be a bit weird.

yeah, I'm amazed that this made the list.. does this really happen so often that it needs to be on a list?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Peggy55

FromGoofus:

I fired off the following email to them, and I think everyone here should do the same, let them have it, I say!!

"Well, thank you so much for scaring women everywhere into dumping a guy that happens to be a crossdresser (in your Ten Signs That He's Not the One for You... And That You May Be Headed for a Break-Up - reason #3), lumping us with guys that batter women - thanks! There are thousands - millions - of heterosexual crossdressers in the world that are wonderful husbands, boyfriends, and fathers. You do a great disservice to women by advising them to break up with a guy just because he might like to dress as a woman from time to time. And I'll tell you what - I'll stop wearing pantyhose when women stop wearing trousers!"

Good one Goofus! You go girl!

Peggy

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Why thank you Peggy :happy: