I really want to tell my wife ...
My wife and I have been together for over 14 years (living together for 12 and married at least 2 years).
One of my regrets is never informing her of my cross dressing when we first met. I've made 3-4 purges (I regret some items I tossed, as they were lovely - like an Undercover Wear long black lingerie gown), and in that time I kept thinking to myself that I could suppress the CDing urges.
Well, time has come for me to face my demons and tell her. I won't be jumping in with both feet, but I want to slowly ease into it so it isn't a total shock. Right now, I've been testing the waters to see my wife's reaction - for example, we were watching reruns of Frasier recently and in one episode Frasier says something like "oh Niles, he likes to wear Chinese long gowns." My wife says : you don't wear long gowns at night (something to that effect), my response : yeah, you can wear long gowns during the day.
So far, my wife has been very accepting of me wearing zentais and women's OPS (one piece swimsuits). I have a huge collection of women's swimwear and I wear it at home all the time. For me, that is a positive. How I eased into that one is I stored my swimsuits in an easy to find place (drawer where I keep my zentais), and she found them (which was something I hoped would happen). She mentioned that she found the swimwear and wanted me to try it on for her, so I did. She didn't flinch or anything, and was quite open/supportive of it. Only complaint from her is the size of the collection (100+ swimsuits) :heehee:
Anyways, I'm going to stay the course and see if I can drop little hints of my cross dressing and gauge her reaction.
I have a hunch she already knows, as I've been almost caught on a few occasions- one time I was in full dress up mode when I heard the front door open, I took off all the clothes as quick as I could and threw them into the downstairs bedroom corner. She comes downstairs wondering what I was doing and noticed I was huffing and puffing like crazy. She goes into the downstairs bedroom and looks around and I'm positive she saw the strap of my black camisole. She didn't say anything and walked back upstairs.
Another example : we were watching a commercial and this guy was wearing tights. She mentions that guys should not wear tights; I told her that I wore tights when I was a kid (for a school play), she then exclaimed "that's why ! Now I understand."
Wish me well on this endeavor, as I no longer wish to hide my CDing anymore. :battingeyelashes:
Update : I really want to tell my wife ...
I read and re - read everyone's thoughts/posts, plus read and re - read the thread "Tips on SO acceptance", plus any other related posts, and I finally told my wife about my CDing today.
I share this same sentiment with anyone else who has told their wife, I feel now a huge weight and burden has been lifted off my shoulders, and it feels great. I feel now I don't have to hide who I am, and I also feel I can now share my CDing with the woman I love.
I'll be honest, it wasn't easy but I forced myself to do it, and I have no regrets.
This is how it started :
we were both laying in bed chatting away, when there was a few second lull in our conversation, I seized my chance and I said :
"I want to thank you for being so supportive and understanding about my crossdressing in swimsuits."
her : "I don't care what you wear as long as it makes you happy, and it doesn't hurt anyone."
me : "Even if I wear pantyhose/tights ?"
her : "yes, but I don't wear pantyhose/tights."
The conversation keeps going :
her : "Just don't wear any of my stuff, as you will stretch it out. I don't want you to wear my spanx or my pumps because you will stretch them."
me : "Ok, but what if I bought my own stuff ?"
her : "Fine, fine."
Later in the conversation :
her : "I just want you to be honest and open."
me : apologizing as I haven't been honest and open about my CDing.
Near the end of our conversation, she said she if you want to dress like a woman, go ahead. She then goes to her skirt collection and suggest I try them on, to see if they will fit (the skirts have an elastic band, so they are ok). She also has a black wrap style dress with a belt and suggested I try that on too. I told her no, I want to buy my own clothes and wear those.
She also said if you want to buy woman's clothes, she will go with me to the ladies dept and make the purchase for me so people will think it is for her. She won't buy it outright, but offering to make the purchase (me handing the money to her and she goes up to pay for it) is awesome.
I then told her I want to be totally honest, and informed her that I already owned some woman's clothing and I've been storing it downstairs in the basement. She then said if you wear them I'll critic it (with a chuckle). She also said she knew a long time ago, and was wondering why I was bringing it up now.
However, she did have 2 concerns :
1) will I be dressed and going outside ? Answer is no.
2) she doesn't want me to spend too much money on women's clothing, as she knows I've already spent much money on my huge women's swimsuit collection. In other words, her concern is purely monetary.
As I am typing this in, she has gone to take a nap. I told her (before her nap) that I will be dressing up and when she wakes up I want to show her my outfit. She said fine.
My whole experience has been positive, and she did not flip out or become angry or anything. I am so thankful that she is supportive, understanding, and open minded.