Banned from Fashion Bug

Oh. My. God. I just had one of the most horrible experiences of my life (so far!!) . Boy, it just doesn't pay to be afraid to buy stuff.
Anyway, so I went to Fashion Bug tonight. I knew exactly what I wanted to buy, but then I got nervous because there were too many people in the store, too many people at the cash register, etc. So I stayed there and browsed for about 20 minutes or so and ended up leaving without buying anything (can anyone guess where this story is headed?). I drove around for a bit and parked in a nearby parking lot, thinking that I might return to Fashion Bug (little did I know I'd be banned!!!) . Anyway, while I was sitting there a cop drove by and shined his light in my front window...uh oh... then he pulled up behind me. Evidently the folks at the Bug thought I was behaving suspiciously and called the police. I was made to get out of the car, had to lean spread eagle on same as I was padded down for weapons, and then was questioned extensively while they ran my ID. I told 'em the truth - that I was there to buy a dress, that I was a crossdresser, that I was too afraid to buy dress, and that I returned to the area 'cause I was thinking about going back to the Bug (big mistake!!) . After searching my vehicle for weapons I was told I was not allowed to return to Fashion Bug. Evidently they'd seen me in there before when I was too afraid to buy things and they thought I was casing the place or what have you. Holy crap. I should have just bought wanted to buy. Now I'm banned for life. What should I do? Nothing? Should I contact the store manager? Should I write the corporate HQ? Is this going down on my permanent record? Should I contact my attorney? Any and all advice would be welcomed....

You might call the store manager and explain what happened. The people in the store were acting in a reasonable manner, they saw a suspicious subject and acted accordingly. As far as I know Fashion Bug is friendly to crossddressers. A man in a women's store buying women's clothing is far less suspicious than a man in a women's store not buying anything.

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Originally Posted by trannie T

A man in a women's store buying women's clothing is far less suspicious than a man in a women's store not buying anything.

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Yeah, tell me about it. Boy, I learned that the hard way!!!! :eek:

I don;t think there's any real danger of it being on your record, if they didn't arrest you.

Hope it all works out OK.

You did nothing wrong. Your money is as good as anybodies. If they don't want your money, fine. Move on. Find someplace else to shop. As far as I know, it's not illegal to shop trans gendered.

If I were you, I'd go straight to the head of the Fashion Bug. They probably wont do anything. But at least mention it to them. Make them aware of who we are, and that we aren't going to be discouraged.

Good luck love!

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Originally Posted by SweetCaroline

You did nothing wrong. Your money is as good as anybodies. If they don't want your money, fine. Move on. Find someplace else to shop. As far as I know, it's not illegal to shop trans gendered.

If I were you, I'd go straight to the head of the Fashion Bug. They probably wont do anything. But at least mention it to them. Make them aware of who we are, and that we aren't going to be discouraged.

Good luck love!

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I am typing an email to them right now. But, you're probably correct, they won't do anything, no one will be reprimanded, etc. After all, what do they care if they lose a few crossdressing customers? Women must vastly outnumber crossdressers as far as their customer base goes...

write to the store manager first expalining everything and apologising for causing them so much concern but you would like to return

Tell them this is because of the quality of the products

Hopefully they will let you return

They might suggest you ask for a particular assistant to put you at ease when you return I am sure they wont want to lose a customer

If that dont work then head office

The best thing I can come up with is, the next time go dressed. Or take your money elsewhere. I am sorry to here about your experience.

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Originally Posted by paulaN

The best thing I can come up with is, the next time go dressed.

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Oh god, forget that. I was told to never set foot in there again, that I'd be considered a trespasser & subject to arrest, etc...Imagine if I came in crossdressed...they'd really flip their wigs!! (pardon the expression :) )

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Originally Posted by Shelly_P

write to the store manager first expalining everything and apologising for causing them so much concern but you would like to return

Tell them this is because of the quality of the products

Hopefully they will let you return

They might suggest you ask for a particular assistant to put you at ease when you return I am sure they wont want to lose a customer

If that dont work then head office

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I just don't know what to do. The cops explained that they'd had a lot of robberies in the area so that's why the staff was suspicious. I can understand that...my behavior no doubt was suspicious, from their perspective, although you'd think they might have had *some* experience with crossdressers shopping for themselves...or attempting to shop for themselves...

Goofus, Goofus; what are we gonna do with you?

Ok, first this is NOT a legal opionion. I am not a lawyer and I do not know the laws in your state.

However; I have a lot of experiance with Corporate Law Enforcement, so what I have to say is probably true.

First don't go back to that store. You have been officially warned, and unless you have something in writting from thier HQ then going there again would be tresspassing.

Second, you don't have a record. You have not been arrested. You have not gone to Court, and ; you have not been convicted.

Third; what you MIGHT have is a contact record. Meaning that for awhile your name will be on a list of people of interest for awhile.

This varies from place to place. Generally if you don't have any priors, the investigating officer isnt' going to do much paperwork on you. To much trouble. Especially if the officer believed you. ( and traffick tickets are not priors, unless you have something like vehicular manslaughter.)

In any event even that would go away in short order. Usually 90 days. Sometimes more sometimes less.

Writing an email might help. You might be surprised. I shop at a fashion bug out here and have gotten friendly with the manager. She told me that about 15 to 20 percent of her biz comes from CDs. Seems us girls are more likely to buy dresses and such than GGs.

Love

Michelle

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Originally Posted by Michellebej

Goofus, Goofus; what are we gonna do with you?

Ok, first this is NOT a legal opionion. I am not a lawyer and I do not know the laws in your state.

However; I have a lot of experiance with Corporate Law Enforcement, so what I have to say is probably true.

First don't go back to that store. You have been officially warned, and unless you have something in writting from thier HQ then going there again would be tresspassing.

Second, you don't have a record. You have not been arrested. You have not gone to Court, and ; you have not been convicted.

Third; what you MIGHT have is a contact record. Meaning that for awhile your name will be on a list of people of interest for awhile.

This varies from place to place. Generally if you don't have any priors, the investigating officer isnt' going to do much paperwork on you. To much trouble. Especially if the officer believed you. ( and traffick tickets are not priors, unless you have something like vehicular manslaughter.)

In any event even that would go away in short order. Usually 90 days. Sometimes more sometimes less.

Writing an email might help. You might be surprised. I shop at a fashion bug out here and have gotten friendly with the manager. She told me that about 15 to 20 percent of her biz comes from CDs. Seems us girls are more likely to buy dresses and such than GGs.

Love

Michelle

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Michelle:
Thanks for the info! I have already written a somewhat angry email to the corporate HQ. 15 to 20 percent? I don't think it's that high at this particular store, otherwise might it have entered their minds that I might be a nervous crossdresser rather than a potential thief? This is really disappointing because this particular Fashion Bug has formal dresses and such that their other stores in the area don't carry, at least not in my size :happy:

Incidentally, there was more than one officer - there were about 5. I'm just glad they didn't give me the Rodney King treatment...they were actually pretty cool, to their credit...

so your fear of just buying something got you banned ? .. if you just relaxed and took what you wanted to the checkout and acted like it was for your so/gf you would have been fine. in the end you had to tell the police the truth anyway.. i am sorry you had a bad day. it could be worse ..you could be in jail :eek:

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Originally Posted by MJ

so your fear of just buying something got you banned ? .. if you just relaxed and took what you wanted to the checkout and acted like it was for your so/gf you would have been fine. in the end you had to tell the police the truth anyway.. i am sorry you had a bad day. it could be worse ..you could be in jail :eek:

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Thanks, MJ...I know it could be *so* much worse. In this case, it was hard for me to pretend it was for my so/gf, since what I wanted to buy was a semi-formal dress. What guy buys formals for their girlfriends??? :happy:

One thing you should reallize, there were probably only 2 or 3 young girls working the store. If they've been robbed before, they probably were scared. I would call the manager and explain and let them know you are sorry for causing trouble. and if you are not invited back, shop at another Fashion Bug. My wife works retail and they have asked ppl not to return to their store, cuz they were kreepy. JMHO...BJ

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Originally Posted by Michellebej

Goofus, Goofus; what are we gonna do with you?

Ok, first this is NOT a legal opionion. I am not a lawyer and I do not know the laws in your state.

However; I have a lot of experiance with Corporate Law Enforcement, so what I have to say is probably true.

First don't go back to that store. You have been officially warned, and unless you have something in writting from thier HQ then going there again would be tresspassing.

Second, you don't have a record. You have not been arrested. You have not gone to Court, and ; you have not been convicted.

Third; what you MIGHT have is a contact record. Meaning that for awhile your name will be on a list of people of interest for awhile.

This varies from place to place. Generally if you don't have any priors, the investigating officer isnt' going to do much paperwork on you. To much trouble. Especially if the officer believed you. ( and traffick tickets are not priors, unless you have something like vehicular manslaughter.)

In any event even that would go away in short order. Usually 90 days. Sometimes more sometimes less.

Writing an email might help. You might be surprised. I shop at a fashion bug out here and have gotten friendly with the manager. She told me that about 15 to 20 percent of her biz comes from CDs. Seems us girls are more likely to buy dresses and such than GGs.

Love

Michelle

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So do I just give up on ever setting foot in this store again, or do I speak to the store manager and try to get back in their good graces?

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Originally Posted by Billijo49504

if you are not invited back, shop at another Fashion Bug.

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Ah, but therein lies the problem. I would gladly shop at another Fashion Bug, but this particular one has stuff in my size that the others around here don't.

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Originally Posted by kellyanne

Let it be G - use online shopping - at Sears you can arrange to pick up your order at any Sears you want, have it sent to any address you want or have it sent to your home.
It come sin generic grey plastic but does have a computerized saled tag that lists the items - albeit fine print.

With all your online shopping options - no need for this to happen ever again.

Chalk it up to bad luck and a bad experience on a bad day.

( My pet peeve is the pink Panther long line... you find all your dainties , there is no one at the till or even in sight - but somehow by the time you get to the till there are 7 middle aged women all with panties and all looking at your arms full of lace garments... all wondering : what is he doing here?... 15 minutes later as the lead lady does here returns you have not moved and more women move in behind you)

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Well, frankly, I'm not going to let this experience make me afraid to shop in stores. If anything, I'm going to be more afraid of seeming suspicious than I am of just going up and buying what I want...

Hoosier Sister, ( hey I like that!)

If you can contact them by email then go for it. But; make sure that if they do give you permission you carry a copy of it in your purse when you go in. That way if you get a clerk that did not get the memo (litterlly) then you will be safe.

Love

Michelle

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Originally Posted by Michellebej

Hoosier Sister, ( hey I like that!)

If you can contact them by email then go for it. But; make sure that if they do give you permission you carry a copy of it in your purse when you go in. That way if you get a clerk that did not get the memo (litterlly) then you will be safe.

Love

Michelle

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Hell, I'll talk to the manager on the phone, I don't care...I just wonder if it's worth the effort...

Goofus, you have been given pretty good advice already. I would add just a couple of things.

1.) Geez! You idiot! Don't you listen to anyone??? Shopping is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Fashion Bug is EXTREMELY CD friendly!! You should just go in, pick out what you want, pay for it, and leave. Skulking about!! My goodness, dear. No wonder you got in trouble. I hope you learned a good lesson. I hope everyone who reads about this learns a good lesson. JUST SHOP!!! Don't be afraid.

OK hon. That was all said with a big smile and a warm friendly hug, sweetie. Please don't be offended. I was there once myself. :hugs:

2.) This is the serious part. Do you want to go back to this same store? You probably can, but you will have to write (not email) or TALK on the phone, with the store manager. APOLOGIZE for your silly behavior, explain who you are (identify yourself), tell them what you want, and why you acted that way. Ask if you can please return at a time when the manager is present. Tell the manager you want to spend money, and open a charge acount.

If you really want to shop there, I am sure they will let you back.

I agree that writing corporate headquarters will probably not result in any action. Dealing DIRECTLY with the store manager on a personal basis will work if you sincerely want to shop there.

Otherwise (and this would be my advice), move on. There are PLENTY of retail women's clothing stores and other Fashion Bugs. Try Dress Barn too. They are also CD friendly.

Now hon, How DO you shop for women's clothes? OK, here's how. When the SA comes up to you and says, "May I help you?" You smile (a nice friendly smile) and say, "Yes". Got it? you say, "Yes, you can help me".

Then you tell the SA what you are shopping for. Don't forget to smile. That's it, hon. That's all you do. Simple. The SA is a pro. That's what they do for a living. They see lots of CDers in Fashion Bug and Dress Barn. It's easy to assume that you are the only one when you are just starting out, but you aren't. There's thousands of us everywhere. Where do you think we get our clothes? We buy them. Yup! We buy them. Remember, the SA are professionals. They do this for a living. They see people all day long who want to buy stuff. You are just one more person who wants to buy stuff. They sell stuff. Go with the flow. Relax. It's actually quite fun.

Alright dear. There you have it. Now go out and shop. And don't forget to smile.

Lovies,
Stephenie

I shopped our local Fashion Bug in drab many times. I actually opened my charge acount there before I started shopping "dressed".

Hi Goofus, I don't think you did anything wrong. People have a right to meander in and out of businesses without buying anything as long as they're not shoplifting or up to anything off the wall or dangerous. I mean,it can take several excursions of up to a half hour at a time for the average person,crossdresser or otherwise,to get the general layout and distribution and departmentalizing of what a shopping center or shopping mall business is selling. And their prices and whether or not the place is nearing lunch hour or closing and if it's too crowded at this or that time of day to bother with making a purchase. I've had a couple of experiences like this and I just pointed out to those people that I won't know what to buy or even if I can afford the items if I can't have a long minute or 2 to look through stuff! Most businesses nowadays are CD freindly and if they are not really out and out freindly,for instance if they are sort of like sarcastic and reserved,they are at least accepting,shall we say. As Kellyanne has suggested,online shopping is a very good thing if you have a way to arrange it all and pull it off. You could try contacting corporate HQ for Fashion Bug. I thought they were CD freindly.

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Originally Posted by Stephenie S

Goofus, you have been given pretty good advice already. I would add just a couple of things.

1.) Geez! You idiot! Don't you listen to anyone??? Shopping is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Fashion Bug is EXTREMELY CD friendly!! You should just go in, pick out what you want, pay for it, and leave. Skulking about!! My goodness, dear. No wonder you got in trouble. I hope you learned a good lesson. I hope everyone who reads about this learns a good lesson. JUST SHOP!!! Don't be afraid.

OK hon. That was all said with a big smile and a warm friendly hug, sweetie. Please don't be offended. I was there once myself. :hugs:

2.) This is the serious part. Do you want to go back to this same store? You probably can, but you will have to write (not email) or TALK on the phone, with the store manager. APOLOGIZE for your silly behavior, explain who you are (identify yourself), tell them what you want, and why you acted that way. Ask if you can please return at a time when the manager is present. Tell the manager you want to spend money, and open a charge acount.

If you really want to shop there, I am sure they will let you back.

I agree that writing corporate headquarters will probably not result in any action. Dealing DIRECTLY with the store manager on a personal basis will work if you sincerely want to shop there.

Otherwise (and this would be my advice), move on. There are PLENTY of retail women's clothing stores and other Fashion Bugs. Try Dress Barn too. They are also CD friendly.

Now hon, How DO you shop for women's clothes? OK, here's how. When the SA comes up to you and says, "May I help you?" You smile (a nice friendly smile) and say, "Yes". Got it? you say, "Yes, you can help me".

Then you tell the SA what you are shopping for. Don't forget to smile. That's it, hon. That's all you do. Simple. The SA is a pro. That's what they do for a living. They see lots of CDers in Fashion Bug and Dress Barn. It's easy to assume that you are the only one when you are just starting out, but you aren't. There's thousands of us everywhere. Where do you think we get our clothes? We buy them. Yup! We buy them. Remember, the SA are professionals. They do this for a living. They see people all day long who want to buy stuff. You are just one more person who wants to buy stuff. They sell stuff. Go with the flow. Relax. It's actually quite fun.

Alright dear. There you have it. Now go out and shop. And don't forget to smile.

Lovies,
Stephenie

I shopped our local Fashion Bug in drab many times. I actually opened my charge acount there before I started shopping "dressed".

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Stephenie, I don't know where you live, but I live in a somewhat backward, conservative area. I'm really not sure that CD's are flooding this store, otherwise would they have been so suspicious of me? Also, I probably would have gone in and bought what I wanted and not skulked about IF THERE HAD BEEN FEWER PEOPLE IN THE STORE. As it was, the place was hopping, and that made me a little nervous and afraid that I'd be made fun of, ridiculed, etc. There were ... a lot of ... African American women in the store...and...I know this is racist on my part, but it seems like some African Americans are less inhibited about saying whatever's on their mind, so I was afraid that that was what was going to happen when I bought my purchase up to the till. So there's another angle on this saga for ya...it was racist of me to assume that I'd be ridiculed, I admit, and that was part of my problem...and even if they *did* ridicule me, so what, right?

idot't see why you girls get so nervous just go in the store get what you want pay for it and be on your way nobody is going to slap you :hugs:
Angie

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Katie

Not that you owe them anything, but you could show them your web page, and that you're not some robber casing the place but a CUSTOMER. Have you spent your money there before? Wouldn't hurt to mention it if you have.

Show them this site, and this thread and how it potentially reflects badly on the company.

Did anyone in the store offer you help while you were there? There's no reason for you to be so nervous, but the store reaction was way over the top.

I'd pursue this to the HQ if necessary, if for no other reason than to try to prevent anyone else from being harassed in that store. If thngs don't work out, don't go to another of their stores. Find a company that actually wants your $.

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They offered me help...I said in a friendly way that I was just looking...honestly, I guess I'm naive, but I never thought in a million years that they'd call the cops on me...

Jennifer, I should mention that I was in drab for this whole misadventure...

Goofus

what I dont get is you look so fem, I think no one would have paid you any mind, if they looked at you, it was probably to check out the cute outfit you were wearing and thinking...Damn, she looks good in that....:hugs:

I'm sorry to hear you had the fashion police called on you...literally. That stinks. I think you could have avoided all of this trouble if you had taken the courage it took to tell the police the truth about what you were doing and used it to buy the dress in the store. My suggestion to you would be to not go back in there ever, for any reason, and just shop online at the fashionbug.com where you can take as much time as you want buying your stuff.

Believe me I know how hard it is to shop sometimes. I tend to be a nervous shopper and on a bad day I will pace around a store a few times before I get up the nerve to go look at things. Other times I'll get out of line when other people come up behind me. I guess it's just part of my natural shyness. Though I do shop in public quite frequently without problem, I actually prefer to shop online. It's so much easier. The only thing I have to worry about is when the package comes it won't be marked with anything that will embarrass me.

I hope we don't see your episode on COPS or hear about it on the evening news. I wouldn't be surprised if we did however. I know how the media loves to humiliate crossdressers.

Dear Goofus,

How did the policeman know it was you after driving off and returning to another park?

Did you drop your drivers licence in the store or some other ID?

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Originally Posted by Trisha CD

I'm sorry to hear you had the fashion police called on you...literally. That stinks. I think you could have avoided all of this trouble if you had taken the courage it took to tell the police the truth about what you were doing and used it to buy the dress in the store. My suggestion to you would be to not go back in there ever, for any reason, and just shop online at the fashionbug.com where you can take as much time as you want buying your stuff.

Believe me I know how hard it is to shop sometimes. I tend to be a nervous shopper and on a bad day I will pace around a store a few times before I get up the nerve to go look at things. Other times I'll get out of line when other people come up behind me. I guess it's just part of my natural shyness. Though I do shop in public quite frequently without problem, I actually prefer to shop online. It's so much easier. The only thing I have to worry about is when the package comes it won't be marked with anything that will embarrass me.

I hope we don't see your episode on COPS or hear about it on the evening news. I wouldn't be surprised if we did however. I know how the media loves to humiliate crossdressers.

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Luckily there were no TV cameras in sight. I don't know, I guess it could be an item in the paper, I doubt they mention me by name, however.

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Originally Posted by Jan W

Dear Goofus,

How did the policeman know it was you after driving off and returning to another park?

Did you drop your drivers licence in the store or some other ID?

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No, one of the SA's totally had the eagle eyes on me. I guess I should have suspected something right then and there. She got a really good look at my vehicle. She no doubt called the cops and gave them a description of me and my vehicle...

>shaking head from side to side in disbelief<

i know when i frist started to buy my own things i was a bit nervious but i picked them out went to the check outs and was rang up (i dont use the self checkouts,i like personal service), and then i leave,,, no one says anything even those in line and if they do BIG FRIGGIN DEAL its not llike they know u,,,,

i still get a bit red when i place nail polish bottles on the belt but i still buy them,, :D
i had one young checkout girl tell me that the silver color i had on wasnt my color,,
i do 90% of my shoping at wal mart and they ARE always busy no matter what time u go in,,,

live and learn Goofus:hugs:

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Originally Posted by obsessedwithpantyhose

i had one young checkout girl tell me that the silver color i had on wasnt my color,,

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I was checking out somewhere and had a guy as me where I got my purple nail polish from, he said it would match an outfit that he had. So I told him.....

just think when you are more comfortable with yourself this might be a funny story you can look back on.

Anyways i do all my shopping at wal-mart. it helped me get over the whole "buying clothes thing" because time after time no one cared what i was buying. so hang in there! like all things it takes practice and practice takes time and repetition. :hugs:

In my book.

I shop at a Fashion Bug in a town in Mississippi. The managers have always gone out of their way. They know I am a CD. So the backwater theory does not hold.

The racist thing is unusual, Goofus. I promise you black women, old or young, are a lot more tolerant of me than any white women. I guess they see a lot weirder stuff going on...(just my guess). I prefer to shop in the black areas of town because there are less people that know me there. They also have larger sizes that fit me. And many of the customers establish conversations with me while I shop calling me baby and sweetie and love and such nice things. You could have gotten unlucky where a real racist b**** got you.

You acted way suspiciously when getting in your car and parking within their sight. But we have all done this at some point or another (I think) and that is still not a crime. I can't tell you how many times I have gone in a store and seen 10 women at the checkout and I just decided to wait outside to go back in to get my panties and other stuff and check out. Gee. I can tell you I have gone in and out of the same store 3 or 4 times consecutively especially if I get a call while I am in the store.

The thing that I do not like and may keep me out of Fashion Bug after hearing this story is that they banned you after you explained your story. Or did they ban you before anyone heard your side of the story? Maybe I will write them too and if I do not hear back anything I will stop going there. Really the bottom line is you did nothing wrong and you should not be banned.

CD friendly or not, this is major BS.

Michelia

Next time take the dress to the register and just pay for it. If asked, say you're going to be in a charity drag show. Women seem to love that. Before I went full time, I'd always say that, and more often than not, they offered to help me, or asked about shoes or jewelry. If you act like it's no big deal, they'll react the same way.

As I always say, f*** 'em if they can't take a joke! :D

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

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Originally Posted by goofus

I am typing an email to them right now. But, you're probably correct, they won't do anything, no one will be reprimanded, etc. After all, what do they care if they lose a few crossdressing customers? Women must vastly outnumber crossdressers as far as their customer base goes...

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Do not send an Email. Have your attorney send a real letter unless there is more to the story.

well the sales clerks may have been frightened and thought they were justified called police , but going into a store open to the public and not buying anything is not a crime. neither is being in your car in a parking lot that is open to the public.the fact that someone is scared doesn't make
anything you did wrong.As far as the police searching your car they were only able to do that because you gave them permission.I don't think they had anything to convince a judge they needed a search warrant .but if they could have found anything in their free search they would have used it against you( what if someone dropped a perscription pill outta their pocket
by accident?)remember you have rights that protect you from ramdom searches. you also have the right to not answer any questions without an attorney present.If you would have said anything they could have twisted
to be able to file a charge the possibility exists.I had an attorney tell me to NEVER consent to a search of anything. they think they have cause let them get a warrant. most times if you don't consent they will just say ok. But why give them a free fishing trip . And who said you was banned from the store?
was it an employee, a store manager or just the police so they didn't get another call. without knowing where that statement came from its hard to know if it has any official status. sorry for your bad experience!!

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Originally Posted by girl_in_pantyhose

just think when you are more comfortable with yourself this might be a funny story you can look back on.

Anyways i do all my shopping at wal-mart. it helped me get over the whole "buying clothes thing" because time after time no one cared what i was buying. so hang in there! like all things it takes practice and practice takes time and repetition. :hugs:

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Well I already kinda see the humor in it actually :happy: . As for Wal-Mart, I think they're evil corporate *******s and I refuse to shop there. Besides, I can't imagine their clothes are all that stylish?

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Originally Posted by Michelia

In my book.

I shop at a Fashion Bug in a town in Mississippi. The managers have always gone out of their way. They know I am a CD. So the backwater theory does not hold.

The racist thing is unusual, Goofus. I promise you black women, old or young, are a lot more tolerant of me than any white women. I guess they see a lot weirder stuff going on...(just my guess). I prefer to shop in the black areas of town because there are less people that know me there. They also have larger sizes that fit me. And many of the customers establish conversations with me while I shop calling me baby and sweetie and love and such nice things. You could have gotten unlucky where a real racist b**** got you.

You acted way suspiciously when getting in your car and parking within their sight. But we have all done this at some point or another (I think) and that is still not a crime. I can't tell you how many times I have gone in a store and seen 10 women at the checkout and I just decided to wait outside to go back in to get my panties and other stuff and check out. Gee. I can tell you I have gone in and out of the same store 3 or 4 times consecutively especially if I get a call while I am in the store.

The thing that I do not like and may keep me out of Fashion Bug after hearing this story is that they banned you after you explained your story. Or did they ban you before anyone heard your side of the story? Maybe I will write them too and if I do not hear back anything I will stop going there. Really the bottom line is you did nothing wrong and you should not be banned.

CD friendly or not, this is major BS.

Michelia

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Yeah, like I said, it was racist on my part to make assumptions. And the cops said I wasn't to go back there again because I made the staff uncomfortable, even after I told them my side of the story. And I agree - it is at least minor BS :happy:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MarciManseau

Next time take the dress to the register and just pay for it. If asked, say you're going to be in a charity drag show. Women seem to love that. Before I went full time, I'd always say that, and more often than not, they offered to help me, or asked about shoes or jewelry. If you act like it's no big deal, they'll react the same way.

As I always say, f*** 'em if they can't take a joke! :D

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

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Yeah, there's that. But I usually prefer to be honest...although maybe the occasional white lie wouldn't hurt...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tammi

well the sales clerks may have been frightened and thought they were justified called police , but going into a store open to the public and not buying anything is not a crime. neither is being in your car in a parking lot that is open to the public.the fact that someone is scared doesn't make
anything you did wrong.As far as the police searching your car they were only able to do that because you gave them permission.I don't think they had anything to convince a judge they needed a search warrant .but if they could have found anything in their free search they would have used it against you( what if someone dropped a perscription pill outta their pocket
by accident?)remember you have rights that protect you from ramdom searches. you also have the right to not answer any questions without an attorney present.If you would have said anything they could have twisted
to be able to file a charge the possibility exists.I had an attorney tell me to NEVER consent to a search of anything. they think they have cause let them get a warrant. most times if you don't consent they will just say ok. But why give them a free fishing trip . And who said you was banned from the store?
was it an employee, a store manager or just the police so they didn't get another call. without knowing where that statement came from its hard to know if it has any official status. sorry for your bad experience!!

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I consented to the search 'cause I figured it would be best to be cooperative. I had nothing to hide - I hadn't stolen anything, I didn't have a weapon, and I don't do drugs so they wouldn't have found that. The cop told me that if I went back to the store it'd be considered trespassing and I'd be subject to arrest. I'm not sure where it came from, if the FB staff requested it or what.

Hi goofus,

I'm really sorry you had to go through that. You've been given some pretty good advice here, so I won't add much. But as tammi said, just because a police officer told you that you were banned from the store, that doesn't make it necessarilly so. You owe it to yourself to find out how much official clout that statement holds. On the other hand, a store, contrary to what some think, is not a public space, and they can exclude entry to whomever they think is a disruption, as long as they are not breaking any anti-discrimination laws. You should find out if you really are banned, but just the same, I would move on. There are plenty of great places left to shop. Heck, I have a huge wardrobe and I've never even been in a fashion bug!

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Katie

For what?

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Someone asked why goofus could be in jail.

And for nothing

ANYWAYS people, here it is -
Goofus probably did make them a little nervous. I used to work as a cashier and I would get nervous when people would wander around too long. I guess not too many men are in Fashion Bug, so they didn't quite know what to think.

Goofus - I doubt the police even believed you when you said you were a CD. It is one of the few times when people DON'T believe us. :heehee:

When can you go back to the store? Well, I say give it about 3 months.
The cashiers probably won't remember you anyways. It is not likely they have a photo of you behind the counter with the words "Do not allow this person into the store."

The cashiers who called on you today probably won't even be working there in 3 months. Cashiers hate their job, hate the work, hate the customers, and simply do not last long.

SIDE NOTE - I always laugh when stores say they "banned someone for life". I always think "Yeah like they are gonna remember who is banned".

Wow! The Xmas shopping season was so disappointing to retailers that they're having people arrested if they don't buy anything. That's desperation!:eek:

Dear g.
Your story is very amazing for me. I can't understand how a store can ban a custommer (as far as nobody prooved you are criminal, I think you are a custommer, and nothing else). In my country the custommers bans the stores, and not the oposite. All "public" place are supposed to be "open" to the public and must let you enter. No store can "forbid" a customer to enter in the store (as long as he don't commit any crime).
Then even if there is some legal possibility in your state (apparently there is???) for a store to ban a custommer, I assume that you should have the right to know WHY you are banned. And then WHY????? Why were you banned? You commited no crime. Entering a store, walking a store, is not "suspicious". I don't buy it. If you were a shoplifter, you will never been "suspicious" you blend with the crowd and stole as discretly as possible you don't spend 30 minutes walking the store. No honey in my point of view you were not "suspicious" of being preparing any crime. Therefore the store manager attitude to call the police on you seams disproportionate and even probably criminal. He is the one who should be putted in jail, since whitout any reason (you are a customer, and not "suspicious" of shoplifting) he put you in a lot of trouble.
Somebody recently explained here she was shopping "en femme", and when she went out one of the custommers called the police. She could go away but as she knows the store manager she learned then that the police effectivly came and ask if the "suspicious" person was behaving in an inapropiate way etc...
Somebody former member of the police told that as everybody in the store (except the "molested" guy) testified to the police that she was behaving correctly she could go after the guy.
I don't know in your state but for me the just thing should be you banning the store (I personnaly never buyed in a fashion bug, but if I see one I promess to stay away). And the just thing should be you asking why they called the police on you. And the just thing should be the people who called the police on you being molested not you, because again you committed no crime, and apparently somebody difamated you or worse segregated you.
My advice: when victims are feeling guilty it's time to fight for your rights, eventually vote for somebody who will protect the customers, not the "shop managers". And please don't go to this store, something stinks there.
Kisses
Carla

Carla, the thing about stores here in the USA is they have a right to refuse business to anyone.

Now granted Goofus had no bad intentions, but the store personnel did not know that. As far as they knew, goofus might have been waiting for the perfect time to pull a gun and rob the place.


I have said this but here it is again - Cashiers don't make a lot of money. They do not care about sales or anything except their next break or time to go home. Therefore, don't expect particularly good treatment from them.
NO one wants to do a cashier's job. It is a job people sometimes make snide ass remarks about. The best thing to do is not draw their attention.

I am sorry you had a bad experience, at least you were not dressed enfemme when the police showed up, any way what you must do when buying feminine clothes is hold your head high, show confidence, and act like you belong there. acting nervous and looking around with your face down sets off warning signs someone is acting suspicious, we as crossdressers need to act with confidence when we are buying womens clothes, so what the line is long, just get in line and buy that dress, who cares what someone might think, I do it all the time, I like it when there is lines at womens stores, because I like talking to the ladies in line, it has always been a positive experience for me, I have done it in small towns as well as big towns with all different races of peaple aroud, and like Michelia wrote black women are the most understanding I have found also, I do like how they call me sugar or hun. Another thing you should not do is sit outside the store in your car if you are nervous, just get in your car and leave imediately so as to not draw attention to youself. anyway good luck next time.:hugs: Vivian

Doing absolutely nothing and being harassed to this extent.It really ticks me off.I have also been a victim of unwarranted harassment by police in the past and am sorry to hear you had to put up with this.I'm really hoping this wasn't a SA who just had a bad attitude about you violating womens privacy in stores or something. I mean it sounded like the police might have been told that they saw you taking something also.Could it be one of the clerks is biased and told them they didn't want to see you back period.

goofus, you sound just like me, when i started buying femme things for myself umteen yrs. ago. so nervous and scared. rather in femme or drab. nowdays, doesn't bother whatsoever. usually in drab. don't care anymore. my money is as green as the next guy/girl. example, bought some lovely heels at a DSW recently (in drab) checking out, the young cashier (female) said ohh these are lovely, but there not for you. i replied, weel sweetie, what do you think i'd look better in. she blushed and smiled she knew.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MlleErin

Carla, the thing about stores here in the USA is they have a right to refuse business to anyone.

Now granted Goofus had no bad intentions, but the store personnel did not know that. As far as they knew, goofus might have been waiting for the perfect time to pull a gun and rob the place.


I have said this but here it is again - Cashiers don't make a lot of money. They do not care about sales or anything except their next break or time to go home. Therefore, don't expect particularly good treatment from them.
NO one wants to do a cashier's job. It is a job people sometimes make snide ass remarks about. The best thing to do is not draw their attention.

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OK Erin, "stores" have right (sounds weird to me, I thought people had rights!). But then custommers have no rights? For exemple the right to check if the ban is not due to discrimination? Because it is probably the case here, and even if it not the case here, is it possible to a "store" to ban people due to race religion genre behaviour thoughts opinion and get rid of it? Not having any explanation to give just because they use the right the "store" has? There is a clear issue here between property and liberty.

Kisses
Carla

Goofus, Stephenie and others have already let you have it so I will take it easy on you. If I was one of the SA's I would have called the cops on you also. Especially knowing after the fact there had been robberies recently in the area. You already know what you did wrong so do not do it again. So grow up and act your age. Shoplifters skulk about in a store. If you are in a store and are shopping than shop, and let the SA's help you as that is their job. Actually next time walk into the store and to the the first SA you see and ask for help. And it does not matter if you are in male mode or enfemme. I have shopped many stores in both modes and have tried on clothes in both male and femme modes including Fashion Bug. Accept yourself, accept who you are, accept what you want to do, then others will accept you. Act like a shopper and you will be treated as one. That is my experience.

If you want to shop there more call and talk with the store manager. When talking with the store manager and you get them told who you are and why you are calling, you may even try to set up a meeting with them just to talk face to face prior to shopping their again.

KimberlyS - CD
joe in a skirt

PS you know others can feel your self acceptance, when you are browsing at Victoria Secret in very obvious male mode including 2 day beard; and when after the SA has talked your ear off for 15 minutes about all the details of new bra she was showing and telling you about; she pauses and then asks "so would you like to try this bra on tonight". :heehee: I guess it was that obvious I did. You can do it also.

That's just plain nutty. A friend of mine is a regular customer of the local FB near her. They know full well she is a CD and she even gets solicitations in the mail from the president of the company. Some people.:rolleyes:

I’m stunned how quickly all of this could blow up the way it has. I’ve never heard of staff calling the police before, except in cases of shoplifting. It goes to show how it all can get out of hand. If a sick female relative had asked you to go into the store and buy something for her you would have probably gone in there, pick it out and pay for it without too much thought. But because you know it was for you, then obviously you felt embarrassed. But it’s no different to young guys buying condoms I guess !

Advice: Next time take Karren Hutton in there with you. You’d have a ball and end up buying what you wanted with no bother ! :heehee:

I think I would send them an e-mail, or phone, just to explain, even if you don't ever go back - they can then see they over reacted

That really sounds like something that could happen to me. I feel your pain I really do. I doubt if it would be going on your record though. I would say if you go to the manager it could be fixed.