Crossdressers VS TGs/TSs

I am a crossdresser who feels the need to express myself beyond the current aspect of maledom.

CD'ing is an "extension" of my personality, not the need to give up one for the other.

I have a childhood friend that did transition to full time TS, and I am not like her. I don't want to give up my male self because I enjoy that aspect yet I enjoy the female style and mentality. Is this what is called bi-gendered? maybe. Nowadays I see myself as a 'cuttlefish'.., a small squid-like sea creature that disguises himself as a female in order to mate with a female while other males are present, but unaware that the female is being mated....stupid squid, ya dumb lug!. :lol:
Women wear attractive clothing with reckless abandon....something I am profoundly jealous of. Nowadays, I want to be in the game.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PaulaJaneThomas

I get sick of hearing this sort of misinformation. Transvestite and cross-dresser mean exactly the same thing.

---

I agree. The word transvestite when translated literally means "crossdresser." The only real difference between the two words is that transvestite is more often used in a derogatory sense, maybe because due to its latin origins it sounds more like a clinical term.

I don't think people should just assume that because someone considers themselves a transvestite it means their dressing is partially to get off. Transvestic Festishism and Transvestism aren't the same thing.

Though the only time I do see a distinction in the words is that I often view "Crossdressing" as more of an umbrella term for wearing clothing of the opposite sex, where as transvestism always to me seems like actually dressing as or behaving as one. I wear women's clothes as a man, and I view it as being a crossdresser but calling myself a transvestite never really has clicked for me.

But then Eddie Izzard blows that whole argument out of the water for me when he presents himself as a man in women's clothes but calls himself a transvestite. (ok, an "Executive transvestite.") so maybe it's a generational thing?

I don't really care for categorization or cubby-holing one into a certain niche, tho it is a part of our social psyche in that we love to place everything into some kind of category. However you refer to me, just respect me, as I would respect you (generally speaking). :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Holly

The last thing this community needs is more division and competition and that is exactly what the title of your thread is suggesting.

---

This 'community' has always been divided... I've come to the conclusion it always will. The best you can ever hope for is to find those who mean something to you and keep them close.

We do need contact with other CD's, TS's and hopefully you'll meet some who see beyond the dictionary and see people rather than labels or petty prejudices.

It works both ways and is why I can't do forums anymore. I have a wonderful CD in my life... She has this dodgy old TS and it would seem either one week or another one of us is going to be attacked for what we are labelled rather than who we are and it's boring.

Doesn't make any sense. We're just Debbie and Lisa...

Why is it that neighbours and friends can accept that... but here we're just a CD and a TS and consequently forced to read a near constant stream of thinly veiled bile about one group or the other? Doesn't make sense to me...

It never will.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by johnboy23

Is crossdressing for some the gateway to become transgender/transsexual?

---

Well I would not call it a gateway per se.

Look at this way -
For [most] CD'ers - Crossdressing is the final destination.

For [most] TS's - Crossdressing is a stop [or path] their train must go through to get to their final destination.

I did consider myself a CD'er for many many years.
But I always knew there was more to it [for me] then just CD'ing [the clothes].
For me [and I'm guessing some other TS's here] CD'ing was a way to deal and cope with this until I could come to terms with and accept that I was/am a TS for myself.

You see - I was not a CD'er who decided one day to become a TS because I liked CD'ing sooooooo much. Noooo! I always was a TS and CD'ing was just a stop, a way, a means for me to see and express what I really was to myself.

CD'ing will usually, most likely, not turn you into a TS. lol
Much in the same way doing "that" will not cause blindness, LOL. :lol2:

I think it is important for our community to get past conformity even with each other, what I mean is, it has been stated many times on this forum that no to TG/TS/CD individuals are the same. Couple that with the fact that we seek out the most open minded people from outside our little world, to be with and interact with.

And yet we become combative, defensive, almost to the point of violence. Or in the case of this forum and others verbally violent. I have been guilty of this I will admit, not something I am proud of.

My point is this I would like to see a community especially here we were all just who we are. Not Daphne the Bi Gender/Genderqueer/TG self described. How about Daphne, Holly,Kelly,Lisa or Tamara or who ever. Wouldn't it be great. With each other do we really need to discuss the difference between the words Transvestite and Crossdresser. Should I the man who sometimes is desperate almost to tears to be a girl, look upon my Transexual friends any differently and label them differently and say to my wife "look at least I am not like them" Should they say "well Daphne you don't want to transition your not like us do not come over any more" I realize this all sounds a bit childish. But it happens all the time. And these types of threads do nothing to help heal those divisions.

We are the minority group that is hated the most! The per capita murder rate in the USA is one in 18,000 the same statistic for TG people is one in 12. There are not a whole lot of people who will go out of their way for our community. We can't afford any more divisiveness.

Yes there are times when we need to use the words to explain etc etc. I am a realist after all. But to each other. We should just be who we are.

It is ok to ask questions even tough ones don't get me wrong I am certainly not shy about that.

I did not mean to offend or single anyone out with this post it is just how I feel. If I did I am truly sorry. I also realize that several posts in this thread have already said much of what I am saying. Holly, Lisa and others. But it can't be stated enough.

I don't see the animosity, we're supposed to support each other regardless if we're a CD or TS. I will always help a fellow TS or CD out no matter what.

I agree with Katie to a point. There are times when the general terms are useful. On this board, for example. When one of us describes ourselves as one or the other, we all pretty much understand what's being said. I haven't noticed that on here we get too hung up on slicing it into sub-categories, ad-infinitim. I think we tend to be a pretty laid back bunch. The "problem", if it is one, within the community is the self-conceived hierarchy. I don't think it's always the full-on transexuals who see themselves at the top of the food chain, either. I think the first big sub-category of all these distinctions is gay/straight/bi. Whichever of those we categorize ourselves as is just a little better than the others. I'm guitly of it,too. Not so much the gay/straight/bi distinction, but there are others that really rub me the wrong way. None of us, including me, are without some pretty strongly held opinions. I prefer to think for the purposes of an online community that we're pretty much all this boat together. Not that it all needs to be sweetness, either. That'd be pretty boring, and not very useful. What understandably and invariably sets us off is a condecsending attitude. Maybe it could be better stated that what invariable sets off our own condescending attitude is when someone else expresses theirs. (Guilty!)

Outside the community, those categorical distinctions are so ill-defined and variable that I think most people have absolutely no idea. My ex-wife's notions are probably pretty common. Man/woman/gay/straight, and kind of a floating notion on the male side about crossdressers and transexuals. And all this after 30 years of living with me! I remember about 25 years ago, the first time I knew she had any problem with my cding I remember her saying, "but you don't look like a crossdresser, you look like a woman!" I didn't say any of this stuff, but I was thinking, "And this is a problem how? Isn't that what a crossdresser is supposed to look like?"

I think maybe her simple black and white categories kept her from seeing me as me, and it didn't matter how I defined myself. Over the years she had become convinced that I was a woman. Interestingly, she never ever even suggested that I was transexual, but she made the woman thing chrystal clear. In her eyes, the fact that I was a woman who could pretty convincingly disguise herself as a man didn't make it any better. Although I disagreed (and I'm the expert, right?), it was only her opinion that mattered to her.

The point is, it probably matters very little how we define ourselves, or how we think we stack up on the food chain. It matters much more how others see us. I'm probably kind of a Pollyanna, but the most important categories to me are nice/not nice. Everything else is a sub-category dependent on a myriad of life experiences, predjudices, and taste.

I didn't know what all the terms were growing up in the 50's . I just always figured I was the only person that was a girl in a boys body I must be sick. I dress so much and for so long now that when I have to dress as a boy, I feel like "yes" I am cross dressing. I still have to be a guy to much.for a lot of reasons. but when I don't have to I am back in girl mode. Do I pass my friends say I do ,in my mind I don't because I don't have real breast or long beautiful hair. I do have long painted nails on my fingers and my toes are painted to. I also wear my panties and girl jeans all the time I don't own any boys pants or underwear.I consider my self a Transgendered person, even though ever one else calls me some thing different. Sorry it is so long winded kisses Leia

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Katie B

Well, yes if it helps us to stop misunderstanding each other.

But look, I think you've got it backwards. Personally, I'm not asking "What does the word transvestite mean?" I'm asking "What word can I use that will accurately describe my life-experience without me having to write a doctoral thesis every time?"

Twenty years ago that word for me was transvestite, which was perfectly accurate and everybody understood. Now you mean so-and-sos have taken the word off me and told me it's dirty and I mustn't use it any more. Do you wonder I get cross?

Boo hoo... [goes into a corner and sobs].

---

I don't wonder why you get cross at all, and believe me I was not trying to single you out. Like I said we do need to use words to describe us. And the whole thing is a little silly if you are comfortable wit the term Transvestite than you should be able to use it to describe yourself.

I wil just think of you as Katie :) I guess what I am trying to say is that the labels shouldn't matter to us here when we are talking to each other. Very often they do, I hope that makes some sense.

When we finally get to the point where we drop the titles and labels and consider one another as individuals (regardless of biology or presentation) we accomplish something positive.:)