Dressing around your SO

My wife's comfort level is to accept, but not participate. At times I can fully dress at home, but she usually will stay upstairs. I often wear some make up and she will tolerate that in my presence, with a comment or two in a non hurtful way. On a rare occasion she will come downstairs to watch TV with me when I'm not overly dressed. Wearing levis, forms, wig and make up in a casual top is more tolerated then a dress, heels, etc. I can at times go out fully dressed, but on my own. I will go to Diva Las Vegas for a full week of dressing, but again on my own with her acceptance. My exploration of my female side is growing and is OK as long as I keep things in balance.

Mine is good with me as long as I do not do makeup.... I am only allowed to do makeup if there is a reason, like its Halloween and I take full advantage of that. :-) However, she does encourage me to dress up, as she thinks I look hot in women's clothing but she wants my face to look like a man.

My wife has known for about two years now. She accepts that it is something that I do
and even supports a bit during bedroom play, occasionally. That is about it. Other than
that, she wants no part of it, doesn't want to see it, etc.

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Originally Posted by Joanne f

Once you put on a wig and wake up you change your identity and some just do not want to see a different person it instantly makes them feel uncomfortable which can be quite understandable yet on the other hand some are happier to see someone different as it gives them lesser of a connection to that person so they can cope with it more .

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I was going to ask about this- specifically if itś the dressing which is accepted or bothersome or the presentation as a female- you know going out of your / our way to actually resemble a female instead of a man wearing female clothing. A bit off topic- I of course would like to achieve the feminine appearance. more than the actual dressing. If I could seem female in all male clothes that would not bother me at all! On the other hand, I get upset to the extent that I still seem male and thus ¨ugly" so the wig and presentable makeup skills make me feel better about myself. Recently my wife has begun to purchase and use makeup which she has never done before. I am wondering if it is a subtle invite to improve my own meager skills or if getting better at it would just be upsetting to her. Yes, I know need to have a conversationg about this but getting the lay of the land as it seems to others is always a prelude to such conversations for me.

Tina is a product of our marriage, as we discovered the femme side of me a few decades into our marriage. As a result, Tina "coming to visit" is a joint decision. Often we'll take care of whatever my male self needs to handle that day, and then the nails get done. After they harden she kisses my male self goodbye, and about an hour later says "hi" to Tina, treating her as a live-in house guest/girlfriend. Tina has her own life and the long-lasting excitement is to find out who this "Tina person" really is! My wife will always say, "so Tina, how have you been...what have you been doing since your last visit" and off we go talking girl-talk about everything.

Tina does sometimes "visit" when there are some detailed things to do that my male self just hates to do, and then Tina is there for a different purpose, whether my wife is there or not, but when my wife is back, Tina or I tell "about our day".

LOL...I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day with this marriage of ours! :)

ROFL

tina

As long as it stays in the house my wife seems fine with me dressing as much as I want, which sometimes will last for a week or more. I will go from just throwing on a girls tee and jeans, some days it's all of it. The only time the wife showed signs of stress was when I was trying to develop a feminine voice, she seemed uncomfortable with that. And she only uses my feminine name in the third person.
Tina B.

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Originally Posted by lavistaa62

I was going to ask about this- specifically if itś the dressing which is accepted or bothersome or the presentation as a female- .

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It can be ether you just have to see what signals your wife/so are giving off to understand the way they are looking at it and some can even be happy with both ways , just watch, understand and listen to the signals and body language they will be there , and yes ask about the makeup it will show that you are taking some interest in your wife .

For the past 5 years, I've been dressed nearly 24/7 at home, though for the past 6 months, my youngest step daughter has been home, which cuts into my time just a bit. Fortunately, she works an afternoon-evening shift, so I still have part of the day. My wife's comfort level seems pretty high, since I usually wear some make up and full femme attire at home. When we go out in public, I usually am dressed in androgynous tops, a touch of make up and sandals w/heels.

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Originally Posted by Katesback

So to reiterate I would not have a problem with him having girl time but I would not want any part of it, whould not want to discuss it with him, and finally would not want to be around it.

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Sorry, but :rolleyes:. Are you trying to see what type of reactions you'll get? Lol. Talk about double standards.

It's just my opinion, but I suspect those partners that don't want to see you in a wig or make-up still want to see their man at all times. Maybe they can rationalise it as just a bit of a fetish thing in their own minds.

My wife still doesn't want to see me dressed although she has seen recent pictures. I try to present as feminine an image as possible it has to include wig and make-up. Unfortunately my wife takes a lot of convincing that because I may look passably attractive (From a distance in a dark room :D ) that doesn't automatically mean I want to be a woman (full-time) nor does it make me attracted to men.

Zoe

Michelle, I know it's annoying, but to answer your poll, my wife's comfort level is really high. She is extremely encouraging. We go out together as girlfriends at least once per week. I came out to her only last August (2010) and have let her be in control of how fast things moved in the progression of my feminine presentation. I was advised to let her govern the speed of things by several very wise forum members. Wow, did a little patience pay off. I know that isn't a guarantee of success, but it sure doesn't hurt. I think women get turned off if they feel the relationship is being threatened. If they feel they're in control (because they are), then it becomes more acceptable. This is how it's been for me at least.

It was a long time coming but now I can dress completly or not without her being at all concerned.She actually suggests I dress and often brings me new things to try on.She helps with my makeup and hair,corrects my walk and mannerisms and is just generally suportive and accepting.

My SO doesn't care dress up or not. She probably more attracted to me as Janette than Jared.

Im lucky that my Lovely Wife,has no limits on my dressing at home,she does like to see her Man a cpl days a week.which I'm totally cool with,Its great too that she loves going out with me when am dressed

My wife doesn't want to see Lisa and I'm fine with that!!! She is very supportive up to that point.

I dress all the time around the house and am comfortable wearing whatever I desire around my SO.
Most of the time I'm in jeans or slacks as I'm doing something about the house, but if I have some free time I might slip on a skirt and just relax.

its all good at home totally ok with it all ,but like someone else said she really doesn't wear make up or jewelry . she helps me buy anything ginafaye needs . just one rule we keep it private ,only for us ,and very careful about the kids and grandkids coming over or just dropping in........but if there were no social taboos..i would dress all the time....really can you even have choices in the mens dept other than work boots ,flannel shirts and jeans?

It ain't going to happen. Well, maybe just once as I get thrown out of the house in a dress and heels.

Currently my wife and I have the DADT policy. My clothes hang freely in our wardrobe and she knows I quite regularly get out to the shopping malls en femme. Last week I did the "little push" thing, in an attempt to engage conversation and possibly massage the boundaries a little, a bit naughty I know, but so far it's looking kinda promising. All I want is to be able to dress at home every now and then (certainly not every day) when it's just my wife and I there without any repercussions to my well being! Pipe dream maybe - but I'm allowed to dream :daydreaming:

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Originally Posted by Joanne f

Once you put on a wig and wake up you change your identity and some just do not want to see a different person it instantly makes them feel uncomfortable which can be quite understandable ....

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That's my thoughts exactly.

I have no desire to apply a face full of powder and a head full of long hair in front of my wife.

Just to give you an idea of what i mean i have a brown colour wig which i once put on with my wife , well i saw an instant reaction to it from her and asked " what is wrong" she replied "can you take that off please " which i did and she said put the blond one one , but i left it off and asked what was the difference , she replied " it just did not look like you in the brown one and i did not like that , she just did not like seeing someone else.
I never seam to keep them on for long in any case for some reason i like the no hair with makeup and long dangle earrings :heehee: ( i know i will never be a proper cross dresser) :heehee:

My SO likes for me to be dressed including makeup, but she prefers me to wear my own hair. She does not like the wigs. I don't feel dressed without a wig since my hair is not long enough to style fem. But if it makes her happy and she likes my look without it, I'm more then OK with it.

It seems as though lately we are on the Don't ask, Don't tell plan. My wiife would rather not talk about it, although she will tolerate underdressing.

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Originally Posted by Jamie Parks

things are a bit complicated with me and my SO, she tells me she has no problem with me being dressed around the house (and her) but I can tell that the words coming out of her mouth don't match her true feelings about it(like when you get a really crappy x-mas gift but you dont want to offend the person who gave it to you so you put on a fake smile and say thank you)...I can see the look of disapproval all over her when she See's me dressed, when I am dressed we mostly stay in different rooms(I try to follow her around but I can tell when I am not welcome). So on "paper" it is fine for me to dress as I choose but in reality she would rather not see it.

P.S. she does help me by buying things I want so she is in no way totally aginst it

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Well I feel a little like that too, still unsure 100% whether she fully accepts Polly or not. I still feel awkward around her dressed en femme. Like yours (and many other SOs) she has helped me a great deal - bought me clothes, makeup - even done a couple of makeovers for me. I think she'd be happier with me if I looked a lot better and I certainly do look a lot better these days - probably would pass if I went out in daylight. It's just this awkwardness I feel when I'm in en femme mode around her. She married a fella and here he is looking like a girl... We do sit down together however but even after 30+yrs, this feeling still hasn't gone away... Perhaps it's more me than her but I can't 100% be sure.

xx Polly R

I wear house dresses and conventional men's clothing around the house 60/40. My wife tolerates it but does not really like it. However, she has asked me a couple of times when I was going to start hormone treatment and last night she said, "John, you really want to be a woman."

Johanna

Dressing in from of my wife is strickly verboten. No way, no how.