By the way, why didn't you tell her? Shame.

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Originally Posted by mikell

why do we hide it ?

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I really thought that I had 'beaten' it; when in healthy loving relationships, I didn't experience any desire to crossdress, or so I thought. I was probably just suppressing it, though unaware of that at the time. So I didn't think I would have any crossdressing in my future, and so I didn't think it important to tell her. No one tells their mate everything; we leave out that which we feel insignificant, which was how I felt at the time. In retrospect, I was incorrect, but had I not lost my job, causing the rest of my life to go into turmoil, things may have worked out differently. We'll never know.

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

Oh my young friend you will learn that this isn't even close to true. Maybe half the people here get the thumbs up, the other half go through hell

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Lorileah, I can't let this one go. Your 50/50 comment intimates that ONLY cross dressing was the issue. We both know that cross dressing is never the issue alone. Maybe 50% do go through hell, but they have one foot in hell before they came out.

Jennifer, while I tend to agree with you far more than not, I do believe that an otherwise good marriage can turn south with just CDing. A lot of variables to this about the CDing. How long was it kept hidden, how far does the CDer want/need to go with it. Some women, although overall good women with good hearts just cannot grasp any gender variance. Most can I am sure, so long as their CD s/o puts her 1st and doesn't jump straight into the deep end with it. Just about every marriage and relationship has some difficulties. We are human therefore flawed. Put two people together and you have two sets of flaws combined. The good has to overcome the bad to make a relationship or marriage work well. Most will need some work here and there, tune ups, and sometimes major overhauls. That is just life. Throw in the CD wrench though and even good working marriages and relationships will get put to the test. Most can come through when both parties are willing to work and compromise.

I would say far less than half give the thumbs up.

As far as the thumbs up thumbs down. Its probably often not a straight up or down call either. GG's are unique, and some will find certain aspects of CDing tolerable or even likable while other things are too much or uncomfortable for them. My wife does not mind the shaving, but does not want to see me dressed. I have seen other comments where the wife or GF was ok with dressing but not shaving. So many variables to it all....

Basically it was the fear of loosing her.