One thing to remember is we are the hardest critic of our self. Don't be so hard on our self. Hugs
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One thing to remember is we are the hardest critic of our self. Don't be so hard on our self. Hugs
I'm having similar thoughts to you Camille.
Recently I was fully dressed and went out to fill up the car with petrol. All went well, EXCEPT for one guy who, while walking back across the forecourt must have made me. I tried to ignore him, but after we had both gotten into our cars, I could see out of the corner of my eye he was leaning forward, craning his neck to get a better look. I didn't want to make eye contact, so I half turned away and had a rummage in my handbag until he eventually drove off. My first 'daylight' outing, out of the car, and I was totally busted. I felt real panic that it was someone who knew me, and that they had recognised me. I mean, who else would be so rude to stare that much? I felt really bad, and really quite depressed.
After a week or so, and I had seen all my work colleagues and social friends, and no-one has said anything, I started to relax a bit.
Now, a few weeks later, I am still feeling like my confidence has taken a knock. But, the good news is that of all the other people at the petrol station, no-one else seemed to notice. There was about a dozen other people there, one of whom was a girl maybe in her twenties, who I saw look over, and then look away.
So I guess, what I'm trying to say is that it's too easy to worry about all this. As others have said, most people don't care. I was stressing because I wasn't far from home, and I was waiting for someone I knew to say something like "Was that you I saw at **** getting petrol on Sunday?" It hasn't happened.
I'm thinking that I need to open up to a friend of mine who lives about hundred miles away, and let Daphne head down there for a weekend. I suspect that if I'm far from home, I'll care less about being out and about.
Daphne
xx
Maybe he wasn't staring at you because he suspected but because he so you as a little piece of eye candy.
I have the same feelings Camille many have had here especially my first time out and that was not long ago. Rhian is so true in that sometimes we are just too hard on ourself especially with what we all here are doing. I dress nicely some nights and than later after photo session look and think what the hell am I doing and other times I like them. Its good to be somewhat critical you learn and make improvements based on every dressing. Don't get down on yourself keep going and enjoy. I posted a black dress pic i took over the weekend at everybody loves the look here. For me this could have easily been one of those sessions I deleted all the photos. Glad I didn't and will keep on truckin. Getting ready for my second big outing and from the things I learned will for sure be more comfortable in my look.
Rhian, that's a lovely thought. No way of knowing if it's true, but I'm going to use that to help push out some of my insecurities.
Thank you,
xx
I learned a long time ago, whether dressed as a man or as a woman, that the eye sees what the mind wants to see. When I've taken pictures of myself en femme or viewed manly pictures, my true age and physique comes through. I fool nobody, including myself. Therefore, my forays among the populace are in the evening, and, hopefully it is raining so I can use an umbrella. When at home I ignore closeups in the mirrors. From a distance with nothing around me to give a hint of my male size, I look nice.. or so my eye tells me!
Camille:
I've looked at your pictures, and you really did succeed in looking like a woman. Of course you can see the man underneath, and so can I if I look hard. But you have to look hard, and you have to know what you're looking for. Most people don't look at an attractive woman (you) looking for the man underneath. You are attractive enough to draw a few stares. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm sure everyone you encountered saw you as a woman.
Besides, as others have said, if you have the courage to go out and meet the world as a woman, you deserve to feel proud of yourself.
Others have said it, but I wanted to add another voice of reassurance. Looking at the photos you shared in the other thread, I would not have known that you were anything but a woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by Camille15
Of the photos, the only ones that would have made me question your sex (intentional word choice) are the two closeups where you are looking down at the camera, and much of that is down to how wide-angle lenses (Sample - http://provideocoalition.com/images/...n-1_thumb.jpeg) modify and distort features.
But, u said it better than I ever have. Like u, I have no interest or desire to go out dressed and be instantly made as a man in a dress. :sad:
Many years ago I became so discouraged seeing that image in my mirror that I was ready to give up dressing before I really started! Then, I stumbled upon Sherry. Since then, her special faces allow me to see a female in my mirror every time I dress!:daydreaming:
There is a lite years difference in going out and passing. And going out as a MiaD, with confidence, dressed to blend, and to be happily treated politely and respectfully by folks that made u. Most of the time! I hear the snickering and whispered in ear comments whenever I go out dressed in public.:Angry3:
Like Nikki, going out as Sherry on Halloween the last few years I have passed on occasion. The treatment she/I received was markedly different!
It's simple really. I'm completely relaxed and confortable dressing at home. And, always stressed dressed out in vanilla land.
I'm a closet dresser at heart. Even if I do go out dressed!:battingeyelashes:
I did not find your posting in the piccie section so I can't comment.
I can only say we are over critical of our selves as we see things others do not.
It is hard when you put in all the effort to look like a women and after all that you see all your maleness in the mirror and it does hurt. You have few choices, you can stay home safely, you can try to improve your presentation or try to accept that it is okay to be out dressed and not pass completely.
Thanks everyone for your kind and thoughtful responses to my post. It all helps, and it's good to know that there are so many others like me out there going through (or having gone through) a similar journey. Lord knows none of this ever asked for this, but we are all trying to figure it out in our own way. I'm thankful for this community that helps one another.
Thanks to those too who were kind enough to tell me that they think I blended well. I am sure I am being overly critical of myself. And the comments folks made about who will notice me (or likely NOT notice me), camera angles, etc, really helped. For those who posted about not caring what others think about me... I truly don't. I just don't see the point of going out if it's not to try and pass/blend most of the time. That's just me. It's the part of me that wants to be recognized as a woman, and (currently) requires external validation for that.
In the end I need to take some time and let all of this marinate. I definitely already feel the urge to go out again. Perhaps just even fooling some of the people some of the time is enough for me. I don't know.
I also need to discuss this more with my wife before I take it any further. Going out one time without her knowing I can comfortably pass off to myself as "I just had to do it once". But more than that feels too dishonest for me. She's mostly afraid someone will target me, and knowing I was out would make her too anxious.
Thanks again everyone.
Love,
Camille
RE: "even as a pretty one if possible"
Don't you think every girl / woman desires to be looked on as "pretty"
For a guy / crossdresser to have the same emotion is to say you want it all or nothing at all.
I can't tell from your avatar how young / old / attractive / big / small / sexy you appear to be.
But consider this, some day you will be fat / old / wrinkled and maybe even worse. And that's only if you are lucky enough to love that long.
Tomorrow you most likely will not be any thinner / cuter / sexier than you are today, and most likely next year you will be..........
Forget that, Live your life as best you can, doing what makes you feel good and try to look at life as a one way street.
You will never be given a chance to relive today, and tomorrow may never come.
Try to do what makes you feel good w/o causing harm to yourself or others.
Try to live true to who you are.
Just think how insecure a chubby teenager feels in today's society.
You have it made......... Enjoy what you have while you have it.
Camille - you make a number of very good and extremely realistic points. Your goals are nearly a carbon-copy of mine in so far as all I want to do is be passable and blend in with the right crowd. I love to search for photos of women on line that have the look and style that is appealing to me and try to picture myself in that look. I have recently just started testing the "public" waters. Being married however, puts a huge damper on my ability to pursue this whenever I want. Things would be completely different otherwise. The thing of it is that I haven't truly putting myself into a really public situation. The other day, I ran a few errands while dressed as Emily (2-1/2" heel, tan pantyhose, black skirt 2" above knee, black leather coat with scarf, sunglasses, wig, etc.). The things I did though weren't what folks would call in public such as taking papers to recycle container, going to post office, gassing up the car. However, I am pretty sure that at all locations, I was visible to a few people, which felt incredibly good. I like to think to myself "who really cares what they think" but that fear is still very much front and center with me. But, as you say, to just blend in is all you want. I would easily say that how I was dressed (during the middle of the morning I might add - 10am) one would easily think I am doing a few things on my way to work or an early break from work. Bottom line though is that I am feeling more and more confident and comfortable doing these sorts of things.
Keep pursuing your dream. I have to imagine it is a wonderful dream to say the least!
Emily
I couldnt agree more. You looked incredible in your photos. Your posts gave me confidence.
Awesome, and definitely keeping her in the loop is super important. Where in NorCal are you? If you want a friend to make next time more comfortable, I'm happy to hang out anywhere in the Bay Area! Bring your wife if she's comfortable/interested, and let's get some food and do some retail therapy. Consider that a standing offer, and whenever you (or both of you) are ready, just let me know. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Camille15