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Kristi you are so right the younger girls do have some cute stuff and like you I love it and I do have a skater skirt or two ,
But when I go out I try to blend and not draw attention so even though I would love to buy a lot of those clothes I stay with jeans and leggings but will wear longer skirts in summer. Short shorts too I love. Yes I think we all have a thing for theses clothes
Nice story. My granddaughter has a lot of fashion sense and is never ever looking like a slob. What's cute on a 15 year old is not going to be cute on a 65 year old. The only thing I've kidded her lately has been wearing jeans that are intentionally manufactured with holes/slits/etc. I kidded her I could save her a lot of money by going to Goodwill and getting some old worn out jeans and steal a little battery acid from her father's car.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krististeph
I think the best example of a woman NOT dressing appropriately was told by me several times. I worked in a highly professional office. I always wore dress slacks, shirt with collar, shined shoes, tie and my sports coat or suit jacket was hung on a hanger nearby. The office manager, a woman, frequently wore capri pants and sandals. She looked like she was at the beach. I never saw her wearing a dress in over twenty-five years. We dealt with attorneys, CPA's and business men and women. There were frequent occasions when our clients automatically assumed I was the person in charge because she was so ill attired it was an embarrassment.
So, it's also age appropriateness and what's appropriate for time and place.
Despite the protestations of some, there IS an age appropriate dress code and we all know it when we see it violated. And, just like pornography while we know it when we see it, the description is hard to put into a nicely packaged box.
For me, the violation of the rules it is simple and clear: when out in public, inappropriate age dressing is exactly the same as bad fashion. Of course, anyone can wear anything they like. The consequence is looking like a fool and having the general public deride you. No one has to care what others think. This applies to men and women. But, dressing appropriately, at any age, does NOT mean one must look frumpy. Well styled does NOT have an age requirement. Dressing inappropriately is just sad. One is not presenting the best of themselves
Perhaps I would care more about blending if the relative standards weren't so low. As it is, I dress to look good. That's how Don has dressed historically and it is also how DeeAnn dresses. That said, I don't do skimpy tops that show acres of skin or skirts so short that it sounds like separating Velcro when you stand up after sitting in a chair. What works for me is colors/patterns that stand out as well as jewelry.
Below are a couple of examples. It is the same skirt in both, so the real length shows in the left photo. The lighting on the left doesn't do justice to the blazer as it is SO RED. Slighty odd pose on the right as I'm half sitting on a bar stool.
Anyway, the leather skirt probably takes it out of the realm of office-ready, but otherwise the look is very close to what Eddie Izzard calls Executive Transvestite. Sorry folks, but the Church Lady was never an option...
I forgot to mention that I turned 67 a couple of weeks ago.
DeeAnn
When dressing, I apply the same rules as I do for guy mode....1) a place for everything, and everything in its place, and 2) when in doubt, better to be overdressed than under.
In the comfort and privacy of my own home, anything goes.
In a public setting, age- and -- I would add - context appropriate. When Amanda, I shoot for Penelope Cruz or Jennifer Aniston on a business trip.
As a 46 y.o. man, I'd look ridiculous wearing a lot of what my 18 yo son wears. Not even because it's ugly yet cool (though some of it is) but b/c I'd look silly wearing a skater shirt, baggy shorts or skinny jeans and flip-flops, topped by a snapback cap and hemp bracelet. Nothing against that look, but silly on someone my age. And my personality. It would instantly telegraph "poseur" or "trying way too hard"
Same for femme mode. Nothing wrong with mini's or microskirts, sheer plunging tops, 5 in heels per se, it's a free country after all. But c'mon, not on a 46 y.o. woman out shopping for socks or office supplies at 2 in the afternoon. Maybe if going clubbing that night, but even that's a stretch since my shoulders and proverbial man hands exclude a lot of women's clothes (almost all of which are cut for female frames, even if the sizing is large enough).
All that said...I've grown to have a lot of respect and even awe, for the well "put-together" woman, regardless of age. It takes a huge database in your brain of styles and choices, what goes with what, what's flattering and what's not. All while trying to stay within a budget.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
These are my take in a nutshell. I wear some bits that just don't go together when I'm at home, but the light of day in the real world will never see me like that. I too have short skirts, but keep that for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
I would love to look like your avatar pic Krististeph. Fantastic look...a big wow in fact!
Becky
According to me, and I care.Quote:
Originally Posted by samantha rogers
I agree that having a devil may care attitude is healthy. But it does not work for all of us. I only feel good when I think I look reasonably ok. If I feel I look ridiculous, I feel terrible. Be it inside the house or at the mall. To each one his (her) own.
I am in the closet so i do have different outfits ranging from younger to more acceptable of my age .What i wear just depends on my mood
Appropriate dressing in all dimensions (be it your age, the weather, the occasion or location, etc.) is not something only CDs have to deal with. You can choose to ignore it or be oblivious about it, I don't care. The one thing I vehemently oppose is the notion that it's not possible to look nice over 30/40 while dressed 'appropriately'. Please stop doing your fashion research at Walmart.
Lol If you are going to quote me at least include context. Note the very next sentence said: "it's a matter of dressing to look good according to what you like. "Quote:
Originally Posted by Sky
Seems to me we are saying the same thing.
What I find amusing is hearing anyone setting up "rules" for others.
Look it boils down to taste and style.
Some people have it and some people don't.
And what looks good to one person may not look good to another.
Sure, there are obvious extreme faux pas that we all see, but it's important to separate occasion from age.
What looks good at a club is not going to look good at the mall and vice versa. What looks right for a ladies luncheon is going to look silly at the beach. That is all common sense ( unfortunately not all that common lol)
But the age thing is extremely relative and determined by personal style, body type, and the circles in which one moves. If you move in conservative circles, like an office or bank in Peoria, you are not going to dress in the same style as if you work in the fashion industry in New York or with a music recording studio in LA.
So, no, despite the "protestations of some"... Tee hee.... There are no "rules", just common sense and good taste .....as defined by yourself.
Thank you all for ringing in! As i read the comments, and other things, I'm thinking that this is actually synonymous to people who do cosplay. I know we have heard this comparison before- But I think it manifests differently:
In cosplay- people dress outside societal norms for fun. There is an element of psycho-social deviation, but within a certain allocation of societal mores: we know we are playing dress up- we understand that this is play, and typically associated with youth, but we want to do it because we do not want to be limited by arbitrary delineations.
CDs dressing to engage their inner girlhood is essentially the same, is is not? We know that this is likely to be seen as socially abrasive, and we therefore limit ourselves and dressing to our homes or locales. Yet we still have this desire to play out something we have missed.
Wow, this has been a really good thread- introspection, reflection, and lot of excellent views.
This goes beyond crossdressing- this evidently affects everyone... What a vindication of being able to dress up for fun! Thank you all.
There will always be people who are freaked out or taken aback at seeing something other than what they expected. Sometimes the variables just converge unpreferably- and many people will react poorly, for lack of ability to simply not react at all. I wonder if it is not time for us to begin to understand that some of these poor reactions are actually erroneous defenses? I think we all hope for this regardless.
This may be just a CD blog- but when many good minds get together and consider something- this really has the potential for effecting change. What a nice Christmas/solstice story! Thanks to everyone in this holiday season, for your input and ideas.
-Kristi (in a grey sweater knit stretch dress, flared/floppy skirt [admittedly perhaps a size too small]; changing into a copper colored stretch taffeta dress that looks much more mature with black silk blazer as a cover...)
Good topic. At the opposite end, I'm always amazed at the number of CDs who seem to want to dress like their grandmothers. Dr. Freud would have a ball analyzing that one. Then there's region-appropriate fashion. I remember going to CD gatherings with folks from all over the country and being fashion-critiqued by sisters from back east where more formal, tailored dresses and such were the norm. Some of them thought California casual (you know, the way GGs dress here on the Left Coast) wasn't sufficiently ladylike.
But on the miniskirt issue, true micro-minis are for micro-skinny teens and twentysomethings. I have a few that are mid-thigh short, but they're pretty pedestrian in style, like this sassy senior citizen look:
I think Katy888 really has her finger on the problem -- venue appropriateness. Clothes I wear to the Mall are different than clothes I wear to the club not because I suddenly get younger (or older) but because they're appropriate to the place I'm at. If I'm with a mature crowd of people my age-isn, I'll trot out a flirtier outfit because, honey, I look good to a 60-something crowd. ;) But what would be sexy amongst my peers would be ridiculous if I was the oldest person in the room. I won't give up my miniskirt, but I won't inflict it on an unwilling audience either.
I just bought a Helly Hansen 'Embla' jacket, looked kinda 'tween' on the rack. Got home and tried it on...holy crap...talk about a "figure flattering fit' and being a funky pearlescent rose color I'm pretty sure I don't look like a blendy 50 yr old woman in it...but it's sooo freaking cute I gotta have 😀
Interesting point about regional differences, I didn't think about that. I could totally see such a divide. I'll need to remember that, next time I go out dressed outside of NYC.Quote:
Originally Posted by Acastina
I'll chime in here…as an early 60'sd gal, I feel like I can get away with shorter sweater dresses as long as I'm doing leggings with them. I pretty much follow my wife's lead on this…she's also sixty-ish and looks absolutely GREAT in a short sweater dress and Leggings.
Some time ago, I had an experience that made me examine my tastes. I had bought a cute, shortish pencil skirt and sometime later put it together with a suitable top, cardigan and heels for another trip to the same dress shop. The twenty year old SA who knows me well (as a customer ) greeted me and complemented my outfit, saying "I have that same skirt and I just love it. I wore it until it fell apart ". My thought was, "OH crap. Now I'm dressing like a twenty year old" Not a good feeling when you're 55. Way inappropriate. I related the story to other SAs in the store, and made it quite clear that I wanted them to help me avoid that. "Don't worry. " they said, "What you find in this store is more classy than trendy, so she's dressing in a more mature way, not you dressing too young." Whew! They are also great at helping me avoid looking old and frumpy. There's a whole world of clothes out there that look good at any age, so you can look attractive even at advanced ages.
Oh dear ... throw in the hand grenade (age appropriate dressing) and watch the explosion with (fashion) police running everywhere lol. Here's another rule, men shouldn't dress as women :eek: ... ok broke that rule too so what's one more. We all know the rules, its just a question of whether we choose to follow them.
May be right that people think bad thoughts about my dress sense. Frankly though I suspect that most people don't notice or don't care. Feeling good about how I look is important to me and there's a disconnect between my male and female ages.
The older I get and I'm 65 next week the less I care about what people think. A heart attack this year reinforced the frailty of life and uncertainty about the future. So its short skirts and dresses for me showing good looking legs. A sprightly lady in her mid 70s came up to me yesterday and said how cool my dress looked (it was hot here) and how attractive. Made my day :) Then I had lunch with a girlfriend, greeted warmly by staff in a number of shops, exchanged smiles with passers-by. Another very enjoyable day out interacting with the real world dressed age inappropriately.
We're all flouting society's most deeply held rules about gender. And we're worried about age appropriateness? Really?
Ageism, sexism, body shaming - a general sense of "let's liberate ourselves ... so we can live under more restrictions than where we started..."
Newsflash - according to a big ol' chunk of the western world, all the clothes being discussed are inappropriate at ANY age for the people in this thread!
So really, find things you feel good about wearing. Feel good about yourself. Also know that your presentation does send a message. If you care about that, then make sure you know what message you mean to send, and that it's the one you mean to send. (If you even care - again, since we're breaking the rules here, not caring seems like a valid answer to me.) There is nothing wrong to my mind about dressing to get attention - provided you are prepared to deal with that attention once you get it. (A lot of times, this is more about attitude than anything else.)
The rules about this stuff gain a whole lot more meaning if you are dealing with a workplace or other organized social setting. Also, a lot of women, both cis and trans, dress to AVOID attention, because sometimes the attention we get is a whole lot of hassle. But we live this way. Y'all are, for the most part, just visiting girl-town, so there's really no problem doing touristy things like mini-skirts. This is yet another example, perhaps, where living there is different than visiting!
I love that image! I sort of picture myself in my inappropriate clothing, camera-to-eye checking out the sights so I can write snappy one-liners about them on the postcards I send home. :) Thanks for that.Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaQ
Hell-o Kristi,
Dressing for your own pleasure. Hmmmm, isn't that kinda what we are all doing?
So who cares how we dress in privacy, or in public. If it pleases you, what others may think
is their own problem.
Of course there are certain situations where a "dress code" may be
given some thought, but there are certainly "age appropriate" fashions for each situation.
I can dress like that twenty something year old would dress at the mall, the club, wherever she may go.
Nobody should tell the fifty something year old to dress any other way than the way they want.http://reelz.com/trailer-clips/49396...sin-vinny-clip
Much Love,
Kristyn
I never quite understood the whole 'act your age' thing. Nor do I understand why people start behaving differently as they age; I see my cohorts starting to change their speech, wear 'grandpa' style clothes, feeling like they should wake up with the sun and take naps 'because that's what we're supposed to do'. When I ask, I get told that 'well, we're not young anymore, so we shouldn't act like we are'. Really? Why not? Why is wearing clothes that someone might customarily wear in their late teens/early 20's any different from wearing girl or boy clothes? We go to great lengths to try to get people to accept our wearing clothes that are customarily restricted to women; yet, we self impose what we might think that others feel are age appropriate clothes, for ourselves (and others)? That's pretty crazy, if I do say so myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krististeph
I don't consider myself lecherous because I hang out with much younger people. There's something really weird about believing that what we're turned on by will somehow magically change as we age, as if at some point, we will star to get sexually excited by short gray hair, wrinkled skin, and grandma styled clothes.
I watch as many of my friends intentionally change themselves into old people. Probably because they really believe that they're supposed to be that way. I think it's nuts, myself. I may not be able to do all the things I used to do, or as often, but I'm not going to start sitting in a rocking chair reminiscing about 'the good old days' any time soon. Tomorrow's the 'good old days'. And then the next day. When you stop believing that, life is pretty much over.
Age appropriate. What a ridiculous concept.
There are no rules wear whatever you want.
I have to agree with sometimes_miss. I was looking at a site the had 20-60+ girls and what the dress code is. I felt the sixty year old girls looked better than the twenty year olds. The dress is just more refined and just as pretty as them
I have violated the known rules with this outfit: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...fore-and-after without knowing it. I thought I looked good. My wife gave me feedback I didn't like because I like the skirt in question but she commented that it was too short, too young and too reminiscent of a "school-girl" look. That is not what I was going for and it's embarrassing to think I was out like this. Not that I care what strangers think about me, but I that was dressed poorly. I received some additional feedback from a woman I respect and the critique was exactly the same. Along with that feedback came this:
"It's all very subtle and I think that women are especially attuned to the messages that clothes give because, well, we control the message and the desired effect on men. Men, on the other hand, just look at a woman and think either "wow" or "neutral".
Just try to understand that when you dress a certain way, you are giving messages about yourself and this gives an impression of what you want."
While the wear-want-you-want crowd is somewhat vocal, I thought the "message" idea above was new and interesting. What "message" do you want to send? Are you dressed that way?
Food for thought.