Your thots and questions about dressers that r a bit different from u? Like me?

Hi Doc,
I have a live and let live attitude, so whatever floats your boat works. I don't get the mask on one level, but i totally get it on another; its no different to make-up really, or the use of a wig which is a huge indicator of the projected identity.

I think the only thing i personally see as incongruous, without judgement, is a skinny presentation with giant boobs and no hips; it feels too false to me, but I accept it's what the person is happy as.

I rarely use stuffing up the bra, rarely use a bra actually, and don't use hip pads as yet. Partly its financial, but mostly that's an excuse because really I want to transform my body and present as authentically me as I can, so it's hormones for breasts hopefully, and maybe some weight redistribution, but the rest is using clothing to create the shape illusion, so i design flare into the bottom of tops, choose short-ish skirts to flare out. In the end my physique won't be too different to female strength athletes who often have larger shoulders and small hips.

When you consider the therianthrope range of expression, CD is just part of a much larger spectrum, and how does one trans-species like transgender?!

Aside from facial make up, if I can't get there by naturally modifying what I've naturally got, it doesn't grab me - padding is too hot, too constrictive, too cumbersome; it's fake and its uncomfortable. Fine for many, but not for me.

So I strive for a smaller waist and to lose body fat generally - with some success. I wouldn't want a Marilyn Monroe figure, more like Claudia Schiffer.

FWIW Sherry is one of my favourite people here, mostly because I admire anybody willing to go to ultimate lengths to achieve their desire. How she deals with the heat, especially living in SoCal, I cannot begin to imagine. She must lose pounds every time!

Occasionally I'll go for the total balanced passing look but, more often than not, it's whatever accoutrements that are the fantasy of the situation that are amplified. I'll admit, I do have a thing for big breasts and that's a recurring theme. But, it is fantasy. And it's a time that you can break away from reality and be whatever your heart's desire.

Sherry,
Yes you're right I do scratch my head with Sherry but as you say that's another story !

You do make a good point about body shape, I'm one that chooses to go as natural as possible, only enough in the bra to balance my shape, I'm really happy with that, being a UK size 12 gives me a real buzz when you see many women struggling to get into clothes twice that size.
Don't forget women come in all shapes and sizes there are some very boyish figured women about as well proportioned ones.

If you saw the photo of me in the pic section at my first social outing I was wearing a dress sent to me by my counsellor which fitted perfectly as do most of the other clothes she sent. Why shouldn't I be happy with that, there's no padding to spoil the feel of wearing those clothes .

No offense taken and please don't be offended if I tell you to keep your padding and latex I'm one happy bunny as I am !

OK Doc, here's my question:
You are traveling alone (driving) and have with you everything you need for your transformation. A snowstorm hits (you're from southern California so you may have to Google "snow" - haha), you reach a motel and are snowed in for the night. Nowhere to go, nobody will see you. The newly renovated motel room is finished, except for one thing, but it was an emergency so they opened the room for you for the night. The only thing not finished was installing mirrors, and you didn't pack one. Do you dress?

With regards to Sherry's question about padding - I decided not to pad my hips as I don't find it comfortable at all, and my panties didn't feel right. When I wear skirts or dresses I may opt for a stiff slip or petticoat to do the shaping for me, or at least give me the illusion of a waist. The fuller skirt also offsets the width of my shoulders by a small but noticeable bit. Sadly, shorts and jeans don't offer me that convenience. I'm okay with my somewhat rectangular shape - the dresses I dream of would still look nice. I wouldn't like to be bottom heavy even though I love voluminous skirts.

With regards to the titular questiob on how I react to other CDers who are different - the least I can do is to accept them as they are. No two of us here are identical anyway so differences are very much inevitable, even though we all have a common denominator.

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

The newly renovated motel room is finished, except for one thing, but it was an emergency so they opened the room for you for the night. The only thing not finished was installing mirrors, and you didn't pack one. Do you dress?

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So Doc has a cell phone and a camera? Or were those lost in the snow?

Didn't think of cell phone and camera. But a five inch screen is not a full length mirror. I was trying to set up a "nobody can see you, not even yourself" situation.

For me I don't wear pads and such because I spend my girly money on wigs makeup and my wardrobe.
From my observation women come in all shapes and sizes not many have that perfect girly figure.
Not only that while I want to pass as much as I can without standing out I know no matter how much I try and pad myself I'm still going to be read most likely

Thank u all for your comments. So interesting! I must admit to being surprised and confounded by some replies. But, all in all, I get why u like your figures the way they r: too lazy, too uncomfortable, not really who u r, can't enjoy the feel of your clothes, like looking like a man in a dress, don't give a crap, etc.:tongueout

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

Sherry, what strikes me about your choice is that it looks like so much work. Maybe I'm just a lazy cross dresser----------------------------------------------- I also prefer a narrower/athletic look so hip pads would be counter to what I like in women and hence what I like in my profile. I actually find the hourglass shape you present as too much and unflattering. I'm guessing you like women with wide hips so you emulate that. So, as always, beauty is I. Ten eye of the beholder.

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Actually, Jenn, my prosthesis often force me to adopt fuller figures than I prefer. My full suit comes with size D breasts. I can stretch them larger but not smaller! And, the hips and thighs r very wide. If I don't fill them they wrinkle and flap when I move!

My breast plate has DD breasts. I try to balance them with my bottom so I don't look top heavy.:eek:

But, that being said? Here's a photo taken in my Superbowl party outfit proving I don't always present full figured!:)
Attachment 257744

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Originally Posted by Robin414

I think I get the point Sherry, I don't have any questions honestly but i do have a thought...I think we all REALLY want to present as who we feel we ARE 'on the inside', I mean phsycologicaly, not like litteraly, all blood 'n guts 'n gross anatomy class 'n stuff ��

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I understand your post to a point, Robin. Because I've read the same thing in so many posts here. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have a "female inside". Sherry's just an illusion created from my thots and memories.:battingeyelashes:

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Originally Posted by Cheryl T

First of all to answer your question...I do wear hip/butt pads to "finish" my figure. Forms enhance the upper body but to complete the look requires filling out the bottom too.

As for your mode of dressing...good for you. It's what you enjoy and that's great.
I do have one question though. Aren't the masks and suits warm when you wear them? I recall you went to Vegas and I was there a few times and it was darn awful hot. Wasn't it even more so wearing everything that you do??

I'm really curious how I'd feel in one of your "suits" especially being able to wear a bikini and such, but I'm not a big fan of the masks.

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This is the question am constantly asked, Cheryl. Altho some of the things I wear r warm and do cause me to perspire, it doesn't seem to bother me much. Probably because my arms, head, hands, and feet breathe. And, perpiration is only an issue when u can feel it! I'm fortunate to not sweat much. And, since I wear shaping gear under my prosthesis as well as my clothing? I don't notice I've been perspiring until I take everything off!:o
By the way, my masks r mostly plastic face masks and r not warm because they don't cling to me!

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Originally Posted by Jennifer0874

I prefer to be as natural as possible. Part of what I like about dressing is that it is an expression of me, not so much me trying to make others believe I am actually female.

I do where a bra and forms but that's it. I tried padded panties before, but it just took away from the experience.

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Your's is the kind of post that has me doing double takes, Jenn! Do u mean u like to look "natural" as in "a man in a dress"? Because I have a hard time getting my head around why a dresser would strive for or enjoy that look?! But, u far from being alone!:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by summerbunny

There is this cross dresser in Hollywood that looks like a pretty girl from head to toe except for only one thing.

A full Beard.
Go figure! That one out.
I wanna see him shave and complete the look.
He looks better as a girl.

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In nearly every photo u see of Sherry, SB? I'm wearing a beard and stashe underneath!:heehee:

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Originally Posted by Shorebird

I think as we are all individual people we each have to do what's right for you whether that is simply wearing feminine underwear under guy clothes or going the all the way and fully dressing.

Personally at this time I don't feel the need to try and appear feminine, I just love the feel and sensation of wearing nice underwear and a skirt or dress, and so do not use make up, wigs or forms.

I look at pictures of those of you who do dress fully to appear feminine and am in awe of the time and effort you put in to create your looks and can say the results, in the main, are fantastic.

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Thanks, Shore. And, I agree with u on individual presentations. I have hung out with a few dressers that even out in public had no desire to present as feminine beyond just wearing a dress. I respect everyone's choice to present as they like and it doesn't bother me. Glass houses---etc.! U all seem to be quite interesting and nice folks. Just not MY thing .:straightface:

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Originally Posted by CarlaWestin

Occasionally I'll go for the total balanced passing look but, more often than not, it's whatever accoutrements that are the fantasy of the situation that are amplified. I'll admit, I do have a thing for big breasts and that's a recurring theme. But, it is fantasy. And it's a time that you can break away from reality and be whatever your heart's desire.

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Sherry is pretty much a complete fantasy, Carla. So, u may understand her/me. Also, your large breast fixation seems to be quite common among dressers. Why else would I own a set of size 13's and a set even larger than those!?:D

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Originally Posted by Teresa

Sherry,
Yes you're right I do scratch my head with Sherry but as you say that's another story !

You do make a good point about body shape, I'm one that chooses to go as natural as possible, only enough in the bra to balance my shape, I'm really happy with that, being a UK size 12 gives me a real buzz when you see many women struggling to get into clothes twice that size.
Don't forget women come in all shapes and sizes there are some very boyish figured women about as well proportioned ones.

If you saw the photo of me in the pic section at my first social outing I was wearing a dress sent to me by my counsellor which fitted perfectly as do most of the other clothes she sent. Why shouldn't I be happy with that, there's no padding to spoil the feel of wearing those clothes .

No offense taken and please don't be offended if I tell you to keep your padding and latex I'm one happy bunny as I am !

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Yes, Teresa, I get that women come in all sizes and shapes. And, at one time or another I've tried to copy ALL of their looks! Including females with no figures or over weight women.:D
But, in the end I prefer to resemble the ones I find attractive.:daydreaming:

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

Didn't think of cell phone and camera. But a five inch screen is not a full length mirror. I was trying to set up a "nobody can see you, not even yourself" situation.

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Interesting "what if" post, Nicole. I imagine if I couldn't see myself and/or take photos, my motivation to dress would be minimal.:sad:

I really don't have any questions; I understand why we all would like to look as good as we can. I find it interesting that some people feel the need to do everything possible to look to the rest of the world as female, and others like myself, wear female clothing just in order to feel as if we're just a normal female, and are happy with seeing and feeling that from the viewpoint from our own eyes, alone. Perhaps because I know in my heart that there's absolutely no way I could EVER pass, maybe that's why I don't do everything I can to attempt it, because I know it's impossible. I do what I know I can achieve, and not attempt what I know I cannot. Clint Eastwood? "A man's got to know his limitations". I know mine. There's no possibility of ever looking ANYTHING like the pretty young woman that I expected to become.

Ahhh Cross dressing, in all of its infinite variety. Then we have humankind with an infinite ability to judge and exclude.

Doc,

I don't believe I look like a man in a dress. I have always been very thin. I never had broad shoulders or much in the way of muscles. I am fairly tall at almost 6'1 but only weigh between 130-140. So overall my figure is similar to a skinny woman who lacks curves. For me it is more about the clothes than an exaggeration of what the female form should be.

I dress 24/7 and people are going to know I'm not a gg. That doesn't bother me. Most assume I am transitioning which I am not.

I am going to throw something in that differs highly from a lot of people here.... Now, perhaps because I am not a public dresser, no real need to add in any shapewear to enhance an image. Even if I was a public dresser, and the thoughts have crossed my mind at times whether to at some point, and where, what and how, I don't know for sure I would go real far with the shapewear. One thing I have read quite often is from dressers who will wear the forms and bra to bed. This I do not get. It is not that I would not want breasts, but I would only want my own. To have anything fake just seems.... fake. Wearing a bra just because seems pointless to me. forms may not even really need them anyway.... I know this all sounds odd to many perhaps, and the idea of dressing period as a guy doesn't REALLY make sense when you get right down to it. I am not in any way knocking anyone for doing what feels right for them. I am only just expressing what I feel, or perhaps don't feel. If it isn't really mine, I do not seem all that interested.

There are many many women today which have so little breast tissue, or curvy hips. Having large breasts and very curvy hips actually stands out far more than no curve or very little if any breast. Perhaps too, one reason why I have not pushed further with public dressing is because I would only want to blend to the point of total passing, which without surgery and hormones, is not happening. Again, I want to state, I have nothing against those who go out in public. I do not feel it is wrong for them, or that they look bad, this is about how I feel. If I were to go out, and one day this may change and perhaps my perceptions may as well, but right now, being a classy well dressed well presenting transgender does not hold much interest for me. If I could pull it off so that no one other than those who know me would know, I would probably head straight for the big door, instead of the closet door.

Sometimes, I wonder why others wear bras and pads. Bras alone without padding make no sense to me. And to me adding pads is something I never do. I feel like padding is pretending to be someone I'm not.

But I'll accept anything anyone is wearing. I can't say much because I think what I do is strange enough.

I find it extremely ironic (and highly hypocritical) that the common term being thrown around in this thread is 'FAKE'... Really? LMFAO... EVERYTHING I do to achieve my appearance is FAKE. Do you look and act like something you're not? You're fake. Don't like your eye color, so you wear colored contacts? FAKE. You have a gut, but want to fit into a dress, so you wear a cincher? FAKE. Don't have long enough hair to style, or don't like the color, so you wear wigs? FAKE. Weren't born with real breasts, but you want some? Forms, or implants? You pick... BOTH FAKE. Where does one draw the line? And if you are willing to wear breastforms (or anything to fill a bra with), then how is it so damn different from any other garment meant to femininize? BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL FAKE!

Now, I'm talking purely from the standpoint of ones appearance, not ones mindset or feelings of being trapped in the wrong body... So please, educate me... For those people who want to look feminine, but are not interested in body modification, hormones, or transitioning.... How are they not ALL fake? Because it seems to me, that most of the ones that look better than average are usually sporting one or more (or all) things fake.

JUST SAYIN'

Sherry I have to say that it's understandable why we all love you here. You are one of the least judgmental, kindest people ever! :) I think it's wonderful that you started this thread in an attempt to get the various factions of crossdressers to understand each other. Good for you!

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Originally Posted by Tracy Hazel Lee

I find it extremely ironic (and highly hypocritical) that the common term being thrown around in this thread is 'FAKE'... Really? LMFAO... EVERYTHING I do to achieve my appearance is FAKE. '

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Thank you for mentioning this. I want to add that anything I, as a GG do to alter my appearance is fake as well, from eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, foundation, blush, etc. Using these things alters my natural appearance to give me a more youthful look. Fake. Women who wear girdles to flatten a tummy? Fake. Women who dye or perm their hair? Fake. lol. Hair extensions, push up bras, rinsing hair to hide the gray? Fake. Fake. Fake. Heels? Fake.

Nothing wrong with being fake, I do it all the time too, but it's nice to recognize it for what it is.

lorileah i dont think its just a phenomenon in your part of the world, kinda noticed that here in jersey no matter what exit (jersey thing) we come in all shapes, sizes, and sexes....so i will agree with you.... when the us soccer team won the championship recently they were paraded about the tv land and found that my legs are exactly shaped like one player who lived here, big ole side dimples , wish the rest of my body matched....but some women look look like linebackers, some men look petite and wishy washy, just as i would never assume a women is pregnant i never assume a women was a man no matter how much they may look like one....

so i recently acquired forms ( they help my confidence) and picked up a corset (just until i stop cheating on my diet) and buttpads because my wife always reminds me i have no butt.

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

after much observation and consideration I have formed a conclusion at least for my part of the world...there isn't one standard A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame! I have to live my life like this and yes I did start with all the squeezing and plumping and crushing and restricting undergarments. Then, one day, I looked around and realized, no one was looking that closely at me. Then I looked closely at them, there were women with large breasts, small breasts and no breasts at all. There were women with waists, there were women with convex waists, there were women with no waists. Then I looked at butts, big, moderate, tight soft, and NONE! I started thinking, what women did I admire how they looked...Hmm, Lauren Bacall in "To have and have not" very boyish in what she wore yet feminine as all get out. Amy Van Dyken Olympic swimming champion, Square shoulders...no hips and no rear. Still sexy. Venus and Serena Williams, athletic and yet they didn't have all than much a dent for a waist and fairly large hands.

So point is. hips, no hips, boobs, no boobs, shoulders, big hands. I don't dress to blend, I get noticed but after 55 years of not being noticed I like when people do a double take. I am sure some know, maybe they all knew (but I doubt it because I have had to "inform" some men who hit on me at various times...and then there was the guy who tripped himself watching me walk away).

I haven't met Sherry, maybe someday I will and I may very well be taken aback for a moment, and I will apologize in advance if I do, but I think you would be a kick to party with. I have many many TG friends who don't fit the "mold" the walk the actions even some who over compensate on what they think women do...They are still some of the greatest people in the world.


Oh and quickly, I have no hips...I don't care :)

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my thots and questions about dressers that r a bit different from u? Like me?

hi doc, you did have me guessing when i first got here, like i stated in a previous post i thought you may have been famous, so being honest i think it would freak me out until i sat and talked awhile i guess, but like i said in that previous post you are quite attractive without it. from what you have shared here with us you are and honest and fun person....

i never have a problem with someone dressing younger than theyre age, i do it at home but have not as ive stepped out into the wild....attended a support event in drab this time but someone showed up in an evening gown, man in a dresss all the way, sat by me most of the night, at first i was uncomfortable but as time passed and conversation ensued it did not phase me as much, not how i would do it though, when i go to these and i dress it is way more casual.

its hard to not pre judge folks by how they look, knew a millionaire who drove around in a fairly simple pickup and wore ripped jeans and ratty shirts even though they had the means for more lavish things....i guess it sucks that we pre judge people but whats most important is how you act after you really meet them and get to know them....

THL, that's telling it like it is. To add to what you said, some use all the fake transformation aids (shapewear including pads, makeup, wigs, etc.) and then say "I just want to be my real self".
Yes, I use all that stuff, because for a short time anyway, I don't want to be my real self.

Kind of reminds me of my favourite clip
what part of your body could I not get at the mall?

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

----------------------------------------------------------------- Perhaps because I know in my heart that there's absolutely no way I could EVER pass, maybe that's why I don't do everything I can to attempt it, because I know it's impossible. I do what I know I can achieve, and not attempt what I know I cannot. Clint Eastwood? "A man's got to know his limitations". I know mine. There's no possibility of ever looking ANYTHING like the pretty young woman that I expected to become.

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This thread is NOT about passing, Miss. It's about how u wish to see yourself in your mirror. When we go out many of us dress quite different. Dressing to blend, etc. :thumbsdn:

I wish to see a young woman in my mirror. And, after years of learning a variety of techniques, I do!:daydreaming:

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Originally Posted by gendermutt

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There are many many women today which have so little breast tissue, or curvy hips. Having large breasts and very curvy hips actually stands out far more than no curve or very little if any breast. Perhaps too, one reason why I have not pushed further with public dressing is because I would only want to blend to the point of total passing, which without surgery and hormones, is not happening. Again, I want to state, I have nothing against those who go out in public. I do not feel it is wrong for them, or that they look bad, this is about how I feel. If I were to go out, and one day this may change and perhaps my perceptions may as well, but right now, being a classy well dressed well presenting transgender does not hold much interest for me. If I could pull it off so that no one other than those who know me would know, I would probably head straight for the big door, instead of the closet door

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Yes, there r many women who resemble men, Mutt. But, I've looked like a man for 70+ years. And, since I dress for me, I get no thrill out of looking like a manish woman. :sad:

Dressers have stated here that they like to look "natural". For their stated reasons they seem content with a man in a dress appearance. I'm fine with that for THEM!:heehee:
Even if they're fine with going out in that presentation. Like u, I despise presenting that way in public. But, my only choices r to go out as a man in a dress or stay home!:doh:

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

THL, that's telling it like it is. To add to what you said, some use all the fake transformation aids (shapewear including pads, makeup, wigs, etc.) and then say "I just want to be my real self".
Yes, I use all that stuff, because for a short time anyway, I don't want to be my real self.

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I'm with u, Nicole. I'm a skinny old man. Why would I want to see THAT in my mirror when Sherry can appear to be practically any attractive, young woman I can dream up?:D

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Originally Posted by mikell

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hi doc, you did have me guessing when i first got here, like i stated in a previous post i thought you may have been famous----------------------------------------------------------

i never have a problem with someone dressing younger than theyre age, i do it at home but have not as ive stepped out into the wild....attended a support event in drab this time but someone showed up in an evening gown, man in a dresss all the way, sat by me most of the night, at first i was uncomfortable but as time passed and conversation ensued it did not phase me as much, not how i would do it though, when i go to these and i dress it is way more casual.

its hard to not pre judge folks by how they look, knew a millionaire who drove around in a fairly simple pickup and wore ripped jeans and ratty shirts even though they had the means for more lavish things....i guess it sucks that we pre judge people but whats most important is how you act after you really meet them and get to know them....

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More like infamous, Mikell.:brolleyes:

Reine mentions our "judgementalism", too. We ALL r judgemental whether we like it or not. Including me.:sad:
But, I've learned a lot in my 70+ years. Including that those I wish to avoid can be the most interesting and remarkable folks in the room. If I can just get past whatever it is about them that puts me off. :)

I've always looked at it as a person's own choice. Crossdressing can be very selfish in that we like to think we're dressing for other's purpose( to see and admire) but mostly it's for our own (imho) I sometimes wear hip pads and a corset to give me the shape I like to see in women. I prefer skirts and dresses because I'm a big admirers of legs. My makeup skills suck because that's not what I gravitate towards , it's mostly neck down. I rarely comment on pics here unless it falls in these criterion(right word?) I've heard GGs say they dress for men but more for other GGs . I dress for me (and sometimes you when I share pics) . If your dressing is doing for you what you hoped it would , far be it for me to judge what and / or why . I hope you enjoy it as I do

I think we all do what makes us feel good and makes us happy. We are like snow flakes all different and beautiful, or maybe I'm just a flake?? Hugs Jaymee

My goal is that when I look in the mirror before I go out is to see the image smile back then I'm happy.

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Yes, there r many women who resemble men, Mutt. But, I've looked like a man for 70+ years. And, since I dress for me, I get no thrill out of looking like a manish woman.

Dressers have stated here that they like to look "natural". For their stated reasons they seem content with a man in a dress appearance. I'm fine with that for THEM!
Even if they're fine with going out in that presentation. Like u, I despise presenting that way in public. But, my only choices r to go out as a man in a dress or stay home!

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I don't think that the women who are without curves or very small to no breasts necessarily look like men. I dated just such a girl, and she was extremely feminine looking in appearance. Very tiny, very long hair down to almost her butt, she just did not have the curvature most women do. Nothing masculine about her though.

I do want to reiterate that I have nothing but the kindest of words for CDers going out in public. Just because at some point for almost all, their actual gender is recognizable is not anything to be felt wronged or bad or anything negative. Again, it is just me. Who knows, one day I may change my mind about all that. I have thought about it before. For now, for a general going out thing, I just prefer not to, and it is just me, it has no bearing whatsoever on any other CDers. Many of you look wonderful as do you doc. And the mask you wear is not at all needed IMO.