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That's a toughie - If I were 10 y.o. again and knew how I would feel years later - I think I would try to tell my mother (she always wanted a daughter - God rest her soul) and hope she would help me with it all - It would be a big risk, but I think that in the long run it might have worked out.
I would have studied better and picked a profession that I could have done as a woman.
Another with the conundrum of probably would have transitioned to a certain extent and lived openly, but having a family i love and would likely not have been. sigh....
I came close to transitioning in my 20s... when I still had a chance of passing and becoming pleasant-looking, if not beautiful, woman. Instead I fell in love with she who would become my wife and that, my friends, was that.
While I was able to wear my sisters clothes growing up and passed back in the 50s/60s. I'm not sure what I would do different. I was able to date as a girl, but was not interested or sexually attracted to guys. I enjoyed wearing the clothes and appearing as a girl. I feel comfortable interacting with women as a woman. As for my wife she has always been my love and sexual attraction.
Bailee,
Amazing question. Thanks.
If I were 10 yrs old again, I'm pretty sure I'd be the same unaware and in-denial soul about my condition until I reached a time I could come to grips. But I know what you're suggesting. If you somehow were back to those key times in your early femme life, what would you do.
What's amazing about your question is that I often replay and mentally review a period in my life when I was at such a crossroad. I didn't fully appreciate it at the time.
In the time after I graduated college to when I met my wife, I worked (and worked hard). I had almost no social life. I knew no one in an unfamiliar city. And I was still struggling with on-going gender identity and sexual orientation issues. For the first time (back then in my early 20s) , I bought some of my own women's apparel; panties and then a slip I wore around my apartment (though I'd sworn to "go straight" as part of my new professional careerism).
I was out shopping for makeup (to begin trying it ) around holiday season. A very sharp, classy, green dress caught my attention and for some reason I couldn't get it off my mind. I'd never owned a dress, especially one that fit. I obsessed about that dress for days, and resolved that when I returned from home after the holidays, I was going to buy that dress for myself.
Over that holiday, back in my home city, I met the woman who would be my wife of 40 yrs; and she happened to live in the same city where I worked and lived. We started dating. The green dress completely escaped my attention. This was Destiny. We married 7 months after we first met.
For me, that was one of those decision points in life that make themselves. The right choice presented itself before me; the chance to have a loving life, a family and a companion. I took it without thinking twice. Had I ignored the gift set before me and followed the path of dressing; then more dressing, and (who knows) perhaps transitioning to life as a full time woman. Yes, I could almost see that in me and happening. But I'm overjoyed that my life turned out as wonderful and satisfying as it has, and have no regrets. But I don't think I would have regrets had I chosen another path, more dedicated to the real inner Me, expressing more of my femininity. I wonder about it often, and it gives me warm wonderful fantasies (that I'm only able NOW to live out some of them).
My only wish upon going back would be for more self-awareness, and earlier. I struggled with "this" far too long; and at times it really hurt. It's only in my mature adulthood (almost 65) that I've fully come to grips with myself. Thank God.
No I would not change anything. It was a tuff struggle though life and still we have a good life and a good partner. And well since both side of my brain is on. I very creative. And when I was an Systems Engineer, I was still creative and the typical engineer was not creative. But I could see stuff and come up with answers that they could not.come up with. So I have always felt it was a gift and had a lot of women in my life as a result. But hoot it would be nice to be young again.
mmmm, I dont know that I would change the times I grew up and became an adult. I would change may attitude, which was mostly fear driven.
I am with Marlene, I think the only real change would be telling my mother. I pretty sure she knew already and she contributed to my dressing.
If i could go back to 10 years old? That is quite a while ago. Would my fem side be more prominent. Not until my 20s when i am out of the house and on my own. Just not possible before then. What would i do different? i would still join the military, maybe the Air Force instead. I would still go to college and get my degree, go to another college or university instead of the one i went to, major in something else since i don't really use my Accounting degree anymore. I would definitely not marry my first ex wife. It has been said that we are all entitled to one monumental screw up in life, and that was a doozy. It would result in my daughter probably not being born, but due to our divorce, she has suffered alot of stress and harm. we have been in court since we divorced in 05 over custody issues. She is now 15 and alienated from me by my ex. My dressing has nothing to do with it. My current wife is a total 180 degrees polar opposite. Supportive, non judgmental and a good personality. My ex has none of that. My fem side would probably not exist with her. With my current wife, my fem side exists and is supported to an extent, as i have noted many times before in other posts. If what we have now was around in the late 70s and 80s, i am sure life would be much easier, but then again, by the time we get to the 21st century, can you imagine what would exist if what we have now was already around back then? As for the fem side, if what we have now was the attitude back then, i think there would still be those groups who no matter what, would look down on CD'ers and the like, but i think things would be much better than now simply because all we have now would have occurred 30-40 years ago. Hope that makes sense.
I chose to take door number 1 a long time ago and I know where that path took me. All in all, I am comfortable where I wound up. Although for number 2 would have provided more opportunity for my cross dressing self, I'm not sure that the path would have taken me to the same comfortable point that I am at how. So, it is nice to imagine but that's about it.
At ten years of age, I fully believed that I was really supposed to be a girl and that god had made a mistake. I didn't yet have the knowledge to dispute that feeling. And, without any affection from normal sources, was still drawn to the relationship with my abuser (who had started this whole mess), who I was by then beginning to initiate contact with in order to be his pseudo-female mate. All to feed the desperate need for affection and socialization that I was experiencing as a child with no other friends and cold, unemotional family members.
Uh, not the world. Small pockets of it, yes; the world? No. There are still people being executed due to simple sexual differences. In other countries, it's even done publicly. Here, most often it's probably done under the radar, as not every town has a gender activist to identify when a death is possibly related to the victim's gender bending.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailee
Not sure where you live, perhaps in San Francisco? But 'Most' cities do not have a pride week or parades regarding homosexuality of other gender bending individuals. Sure, places like NYC do. But 'most' cities? Nope.Quote:
Children have more freedom to choose to identify as the gender they are comfortable with<snip> Most cities have a "pride week" with parades and very inclusive events.
At some point, people have to stop pretending that they have some other personality distinct from our 'male' personality. It's all YOU. Please don't think I'm trying to be mean about this. But it's a similar mechanism to that which some people use to claim things like, 'Oh, that wasn't the real me, I just had too much to drink'. It's ALL US. Many of us just suppress it most of the time. But make no mistake; all the feminine feelings and desires that we have are at the very core of who we are. We aren't really that rough tough macho guy; that's the facade we put up in a desperate attempt to fool both ourselves and others. Those female traits didn't come out of no where. They came from deep inside of US, but because we feel so guilty about it, we feel the need to pretend that that it's not REALLY us.Quote:
would your female persona
^This is the big one. Today at least we have forums like this as well as some therapists who can tell us it's not some transitory phase we're going through; that there's something permanently different about us that we're going to have to deal with FOREVER. Because I, too, thought that I had 'beaten it' after not crossdressing for a decade. There was no way for me to know that it would come back to bite me in the ass once again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teresa
This is a big one. We know how important that it is for a woman to be sexually attractive. Even average girls can do things that make them alluring. Most of us could never even approach average. I'm over six feet tall, with size XL hands and size 16 feet (I think that's size 50 in European sizes), with a strong brow ridge on my forehead and a barrel chest. There's no way I would ever be perceived as pretty had I transitioned. I would have had to get a job working with the blind to avoid all the double takes given me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilyy137
For a lot of us, there's no excitment about crossdressing. It just feels normal.Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlaWestin
I would never give up dressing but i know i would have done more of it alot sooner than i did and with that young body OMG!:daydreaming:
Not sure I'd do anything different, in my early teens I was already experimenting with articles of female clothing but had no desire to fully dress at that point. I would probably start fully dressing earlier though, I had the desire to fully crossdress probably since my late teens but didn't do it until I was almost 30 so I feel I missed out dressing on some prime years