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DebroahQuote:
Originally Posted by deborah jane
You are not stupid for opening up
It can help to get your feelings out sometimes
I am sorry to hear about your two friends
Make sure you do your best for the children being a crossdresser does not mean you will lose them
As long as you are still a good father to them there is no reason why you should lose them
Hang in there and think as positively as you can
:hugs:
Thank you everyone for your support and understanding:hugs:..I guess it,s all getting to me at the moment..Sorry!!
See, it's good to talk no? Kids do go through hell when their parents break up and all you can do is keep loving them, keep taking them out etc...Quote:
Originally Posted by deborah jane
Well, first thing you should know is that this makes you human. I think we all go through this sooner or later.The reality is that this is life. It will have it's grand times, when you are riding high and own the world, and it will have it's low times when you get fed up and are pretty sure you've had more than enough.
I think this is a valuable service this forum provides - friends and people that understand you when you feel this way and need to vent. I've made my fair share of posts here when I was feeling bad. :-)
As someone else already suggested, you might try focusing on the things in your life that are good and decent. Like the fact that you HAVE children that love you. There are some here that fear they will never find someone to love them, and this you have. To them, this would be a treasure beyond measure.
One other thing you might want to consider. Try backing away from it and not taking life so darn serious. It can be hard to do, but is worthwhile. When you don't take it so serious you remove it's power to drive you to the brink. We only have one life to live, might as well relax and enjoy the ride as much as you can.
Hang in there!
You are not stupid for opening up here so you can forget that notion. As some have said try to concentrate on the good things and enjoy what you have. Remember we are here for you.
Deborah,
I may have been where u r. Divorced 3 years ago, plus 4 years separation. Two kids. Part time with her, part with me. Still doing that. I was down in the dumps for the first 2+ years of our separation, but it's over and I'm lovin' life again!
Don't be a "weekend dad". Do things u enjoy together. That means U must enjoy it a lot! They'll get your vibes, don't worry, even if they complain at first! U can just hang out at home, if u like. Kids can tell if u r faking it!
Remember, there's one thing u have complete control over, no matter what happens to u! Your attitude! If u want to be down, u will be. If u want to be up, and u can't just make yourself feel up, do something to get there!
Hang in there! We're all pulling for u!
RS
Deborah,Quote:
Originally Posted by deborah jane
It is only c**p if you let it become that! Try to adopt a positive attitude in your thinking.
Many years ago, I read about an ancient Oriental philosophy known as "Joss." Put into plain english, the philosophy is; don't worry about the things you cannot control because you cannot affect the outcome. Instead only concern yourself with the things that you can control, at least to some extent. If you think that way, you will have a whole lot less c**p in your life! Believe me, at my senior age I have experienced a whole lot more c**p than you can imagine. Including losing both my parents at a young age and my wife just a few years ago. So I know what life can send you! But how you respond is up to you. You can just give in, or you can move ahead with your life. Just say, (not very loudly!) "Go away, C**P, I don't need or want you!"
In other words, suck it up and move on!! We are all here for you!
Sissy/Stephanie
Outwardly a girl, under the silk and lace a man!
Due to work and everything in life I kept wondering and even thinking ok this is the bottom- everything is up from here, right... no I could still see the light at the end of the tunnel- so further down it went. When I thought all was lost and was ready to give up, I realized something profound- I spent a lifetime trying to be something I am and was not so why not just accept the hand dealt at this time wait for the next hand to be dealt and see where it leads- my last post a few months ago was dispair so of course everything is better- right - well of course- it led way for me to accept me, enjoy me and my SO and daughter- I finally realized we will face challenges and feel like enough is enough. Oh how many times did I pack everything up (pack in the untaped box for Alyx to just go away) to realize I was tossing and turning at night because I was now trying to be something I'm not- (comfortable in sweat pants and a t-shirt without what has come to be a part of me- more than a part- it has become me- bra, panties, a perfect pedicure, toe rings, anklet, both sets or earrings and a sexy dangly ring in my bellt button)
I must be honest the day, the week, the month, the last few months have all been hectic, awkward, discouraging, changing and finally accepting- so are there days that enough is enough- heck no- cause I am woman- hear me roar- I will overcome whatever is thrown at me- so now I will go back and read everything I have missed because I just wanted to say- you have a family here and giving up is never the answer (oh that and just being me again and being able to blab is such a great feeling)
Alyxandrah
I have a gg that is very supporttive and she knows me as a male but, when we talk together and go shoping I'm Dalece her girlfriend.Quote:
Originally Posted by joanne f
Hey Debs,
Its okay to have had enough.
Believe me when I say that I'm going through something similar right now, but its not hitting me like it used to. As a friend of mine put it the other day, "we all take our turn in the Barrel, some more than others, but its only a turn and it always ends".
Keep your head up, post about it here no matter how awful it may feel or stupid it may seem to you. Just do it so that we can share and maybe give you that ONE pick-me-up that helps you get through the next day.
Thats what this place is all about and I think most of us LIKE to be able to help in some small way.
*hugs to you*
Zarabeth
If you can't find a way to cheer yourself up and it is lasting for several days go see your doctor. Otherwise, do something that has made you happy in the past and try to forget about the crap for a while. I noticed that 'if you don't stir the crap around it doesn't smell as bad'.
...to help with your list of problems:
What an a** ***e! Ba***rd! And you were young, not your fault and nothing to be ashamed of!
Oh crap!, you picked the wrong friends twice! Maybe that was your fault, but what can you do now? Keep trying.
The wife is leaving over crossdressing?...be honest, it has to be more than just that...maybe you forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste one too many times.
The kids, you will never 'loose' them... could be difficult to see them after, but they will always be yours!
House, work, health... you are right, these things are usually related to crap... sigh!
...Hold on tight, you will eventually feel better. I promise!
I think J-Lo had enough. She made a pretty terrible movie about it.
I've certainly had enough ... Lemme tell ya about how my life has gone in the past year.
My windshield got cracked by a rock. I lost my job. My car got broken into (of course they broke out a window, and it rained for a week immediately following the break-in). My fiancee left me. I became suicidal and was so freaked out I got my parents to pay for me to get therapy. My phone got shut off. My electric got shut off and killed some really nice fish I had. I had to borrow money from my parents to keep from getting evicted (not cool at my age). I got a decent summer job driving a truck but I wasn't getting many hours...
I got a bogus $130 speeding ticket the week of my birthday from a back-woods cop who was 30 min. away from his jurisdiction. They wouldn't tell me my court date; they said they'd mail it to me, which they didn't, so of course I missed my court date which resulted in me getting my license suspended and a warrant block on my registration so I couldn't renew my plates. So I couldn't renew my plates until this corrupt court mailed me a reinstatement letter after I sent them double the price of the ticket ($260). While I waited for them, I got two more tickets for expired tags and almost thrown in jail. After the registration block was cleared I had to pay more fees and drive 2 hours out of town to get my license/registration reinstated.
I was dating another girl, but began to realize she was totally insane, then found out that she had actually been committed to a mental hospital three times. The bigger problem is that she was still obsessed with her ex-husband. My car got broken into a second time, of course stealing my stereo again and breaking one of my windows again and damaging the locks again. I got a new job but it barely pays more than minimum wage. I was dating an old high school friend who's great and I've always liked, but I really shouldn't have been because her husband died six months ago and she's totally unstable. She's got the most beautiful 2-year-old, though.
I feel pretty lonely and empty, and there are 3 different girls who want to date me, but I've dated all of them before, and two of them told me to get lost. They don't want me. They're just lonely themselves. And the relationships were stressful anyway. So I'm pretty OK where I'm at. I guess I'm depressed, but I'm not going to kill myself, since the porn on my computer and fake boobs in my closet would probably make my mom kill herself, and even if I got rid of that stuff, well, people would be pretty upset. I think once you're depressed for long enough, you realize that none of it really matters, and it's extremely liberating (unless you have religious hang-ups where you want to kill yourself but you're afraid of hell). I mean, in a way I'm extremely depressed, but at the same time I kinda feel great.
Yes I feel like that sometimes. But, I just ride it out, and usually i feel better at a later time. Also, I try to dress, which satisfies the urge, and calms me. I know its frustrating. Just try to enjoy it. I cannot say that I enjoy much else like I enjoy becoming a girl. Sometimes I wish I did.
Thank you everyone who posted here and sent me PMs..I don,t know what to say except thanks...:hugs::love:...I guess just being here and knowing people care is making a differance..Thank you for letting me let it out and thank you everyone for being there for me..You are my "true" friends..:love:Debs
Today is a new day...Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!
Wish me luck on my journey!!
debs,
i know how you feel with regards to your children i feel the same way every-time i had to take mine home it hurt . but remember when you have them no matter how crappy you feel try to give them a great time and let the children know you love them . and your friends well as long as you remember them with love they will always be with you in your heart :love:
I feel like I am at that point now.. that throwing everything away would be acceptable.. but I know that isn't a choice.. Carly is part of me, and I have accepted this fact.. weather anyone else could.. this I'm not sure of... I think back to when I was in high school and had so little in the way of pantyhose and now I have such a huge amount, and yet I feel like the "good old days" were maybe a little more acceptable.. to me I think if I were to come out of the closet that the amount of clothing that I do have now would cause a freak out of mammoth proportion.. I feel like I can explain away the clothes I have up to the third skirt.. then it would be dicey...
Sheesh...and you call me self loathing!Quote:
Originally Posted by racquel937
Wake up and smell the coffee Girlie.
I have had my share of things go wrong in my life and have asked myself that very question, but unless you are suicidal , like I have been, you just put your head up and move on, life is always going to put challenges in front of you, but its what your moral core is made out of,or what you want it to be, that determines how you deal with it.
Enough is never enough, give me the "Good,the Bad and the Ugly" and I will take what I want and kick the rest out of my way.
Believe in and trust yourself, you are the only one you can count on. :love: Monica.