Dates

:fim:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

This isn't really a dating site. Unless u count those of us that "date" our female counterparts!
There r other CD sites that specialise in dating. They discuss the kind of questions u ask, quite often!

---

I MUST stop drinking when I'm on line! Disregard my reply above. Substitute the following:

I'm completely ignorant of the subject matter of your post. Since I don't know anything about it, whatever opinion I have about it, is also ignorant.

U r certainly welcome and entiteled to ask anything u like here. I'm VERY glad others here have the experience and knowledge to respond to your post intelligently! I'll shut up now. As I should have in the first place!:fim:

Doc you are too funny!
CD lover You really need to explain more about your self/ situation so we can get to know you a little.
I'm bi by accident really A girlfreind of mine was having a party and asked me to come dressed so I did.I was having a great time dancing with the guys getting felt up on occasion which was strange but I sat down on the couch to rest my feet and this very well mannered guy slid over next to me and said you look great for a guy.I said thanks and we hit it right off.
He was the only one who knew I was a guy.He is such a great guy to be with.
Very understanding and lets me be me.
Its not easy just like any relationship you have to work at it.
He knows I swing both ways but he is OK with that.
We don't look any different than two guys going to the game on Sat or hanging out at the pub.No public displays is my rule.

[SIZE=2]As many of you know I don't post here very often but I do read quite a lot of the topics. I am simply amazed by some of the responses, positive and negative. [/SIZE][SIZE=2]Here you have a guy who may or may not be sincire in his desire and some just make a joke or imidiately dismiss his question outright. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]True this is not a "Dating" site but neither is 7-11 and I'm sure a lot of romances have been started there so does it really matter where you meet someone. It sure seems like casting a net in a pond has better odds of catching a fish than throwing it in a sandtrap on a golf course. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Oddly enough the column I just wrote deals with this very issue and Sherri just hit it out of the park with her incredible answers and thoughts. Deja also had some really profound thoughts on this which are yet to be answered. I certainly can answer them and do all the time.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I'm sure some of the people who visit here or regularly contribute wonder that as well and all he did was pose the question. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]If anyone here does want the answer or is even romotely curious as to my experiance on the subject feel free to follow the links in my signiture, yes I know it's flagrant self promotion and perhaps bad form but I really want to help this guy out.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]

I am not into males only Females.

It always makes me smile, those people you expect tolerernce from can be the most intolerent.

Some are straight, some are gay and some are bi. Some are white, some are black and some are yellow. Some are male, some are female and some are inbetween. Some are stupid, some are clever and some are average.

It is these differences that makes life interesting, there is no 'normal'.

Btw, I've have trouble dating woman, so I wouldn't know about going about dating another cd/male. In fact I've trouble dating full stop. The rules keep changing.

That why I'm sticking to my SO :)

:2c:

I'm single and do date both males and females. I enjoy going out with friends and am comfortable with both sexes. I do not have sex with everyone I date and really don't understand why everyone assumes you have to have sex if you date someone. There are a lot of people whose company I enjoy that I'm not attracted to sexually. That being said, there are those that I am intimate with. I've had nothing but good experiences in whichever mode I've been in.

while i am not interested in dating ..... some here might ..........please respecter all members here...... make them feel welcome.... we all know what it's like not to feel welcome........ and i see some here that go through disrespect .... having fun with taking light hearted jabs .... shame on you .... the poster who started this thread might be all too sure on just what he wants .... but hell it could be anyone here in the same position .... looking for answers and support ...... thats why we are all here respect and answers and souport.............







*** Welcome to Crossdressers.Com ***
*** The #1 Community for Crossdressers, the Transgendered, Transsexuals, their Loved Ones and Friends ***

Crossdressers.Com was created in February 2004 by the owner ‘Admin’ and his Tech Team.
We are a dedicated forum for the transgendered, their family and friends.

In order for our forum to run efficiently, please take the time to familiarize yourself with our ** Rules ** these will help you get to know how our forum works.
In addition, the ** FAQ’s ** (Frequently Asked Questions) and ** Individual Section Guidelines ** will guide you around each of the different forum sections.

Well said Wendy :)

The dating thing is the same in any arena... Go seek, go find, have fun, get spliced or swear never to drink red wine again! ;)

I am a lifetime single, have not found women to date, for ages, am on the alternative personal sites., as Lucille. I have had countless guys wanting to meet me, and, I have nearly decided to meet, but, then, I find they are married already, or, want sex right away, the first meeting! I have been very cautious. I share Sherri's point of view on this, although, I would prefer to meet a right GG, rather than a man. Buit, there is a strong urge, to want a man to caress, and ravish Lucille, and only dressed up.

Hi

I haven't posted in a while but I have poped in to read post from time to time and this caught my attention so I thought I might chime in here. It so happens im a “Bi” male and I just love to ware nice soft “pretty” things from time to time. As far as dating goes, I have to be attracted to “someone” ( female/male ) before I look to date them. As a general role looks get my attention and then I look in behind the pretty stuff to see what the person is made of to see if I would like to go further. Mind you, I have not gone to bed with a male as of yet but if the situation presented it self and I felt that relaxed closeness that one looks for in a partner I would and I would enjoy myself. Not for anything, but of all the places I might think I would find open minded and excepting people it would be here. I’m not by any means saying you should go to the “Bi” side of life but don’t be afraid of something different. Come on girls, we’re males that like to “crossdress” Hello

Peace girls:hugs:

Hello again to everyone haha.

I'd like to thank you all for your replies, and Sherri for letting me have a sigh of relief because I thought every poster was going to take offense to me.

To answer a few questions, I am not making this thread out of interest of trying to take any of you out on dates or to try to get into your pants, dresses, pantyhose etc., but more to know what everyone's experiences have been with dating, how did the man act, how did you want him to act and all of that. This was more of a fact finding mission you could say because I am trying to get the courage (and brains) to know how, and eventually go about, entering and dating in the CD scene...as I don't think there is much more beautiful than a girl who turns out to be a boy:o

To give some background information on me, I am recently 18, have been attracted to boys in girls clothes for a long, long, long time, live in Tasmania (which is in Australia), which is probably not the most tolerant of places haha.

So this thread was more a less me trying to root out things I might be able to use if I ever find a CD guy/girl/gurl (I don't know the right thing...and CD sounds like an object to me) to spark some romance with...because I'd hate to make a fatal mistake. So I hope that has cleared up my intentions about this topic and given you an insight into...well me :)

I understand that we are all unique and cross dress for different reasons. I am Bi-Gender and Bi-Sexual. I would have no problem dating a cross dressed man, or being dated by a man as one. (Probably get a whole different set of looks dating a GG while in drag, but who cares?) The important thing is understanding and respecting the other for who and what they are.

I know this is the bi part of me talking, but just as I don't accept the limitations of having to only dress in gender appropriate clothing, I cant understand not dating someone who you have a connection with just because they are the “Wrong” gender.

Love to all,
Robin.

Hi Lover...

If you'd had your 10 posts in I woulda sent you this in a PM, but maybe others need to read this too.

http://www.reneereyes.com/Webdocs/mtintro.html

Renee, a marvelously wise trans woman from Georgia,has put this section of her site together specifically to answer the very questions that you ask.

Have a read here!

(...and get that 10th post in!) :)

I've been out to dinner with a close male friend a few times en femme, although neither of us considered it a date per se, just two friends getting together. Guess it depends on what a person is looking for, what their needs are and how badly they need to be thought of as a woman. I don't think of myself as either really, just a person. As far as dinner, just two friends enjoying each other's company and having a good time.:)

Well... It didn't take long for my answer to get a response!!!
Sorry to have stepped on a few toes, but it looked to me like crossdresserlover was looking for information on how to date a crossdressed male. The response above kind of indicates I was right.
was I sensitive about my answer? Probably not! Did I speak my mind? Yes!
I still believe that the majority of girls on this forum do not date men. Why not? A variety of reasons.... All personal. But after the upset responses, I have rethought what I said.
I still believe that IF crossdresserlover were to find a girl to spend time with, he should treat her as he would any other woman he wanted to date!! I mean I thought that at least that part of my post was accurate.
As far as the rest of it..... I probably could have used a little more tact and maybe pulled definitions from the Oxford english dictionary instead of my own definitions!! For that I apologise.
But the good news is!!! It really, really started a lively conversation!!!!
AND!! Crossdresserlover got quite a few viewpoints and a great resource at Renee Reyes site for the future!!
Good luck finding a girl to date!!
Lisa Elizabeth

some of Us date guys and some of Us don't. Although most CDs tend to be tolerant of each others sexual orientation, some have a homophobic outlook and no only don't want to be identified as gay or bi but become extremely upset when someone suggests they are. Myself, I'm bi and do date men in certain circumstances--but I will guarantee it's not exactly what you think or what you are looking for. BTW you should know that this is not a dating forum. if you would like to know the address of some, let Me know via e-mail.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by deja true

http://www.reneereyes.com/Webdocs/mtintro.html

Renee, a marvelously wise trans woman from Georgia,has put this section of her site together specifically to answer the very questions that you ask.

Have a read here!:)

---

I have been a big Rene Reyes fan for many years and I highly recommend reading ever thing she has on her site. We are blessed to have someone with such intelligence and insight for a resource.

I date guys...really I have had only one really nice guy that would take me out everywhere and totally treated me as a chick. All the rest really just wanted some sex and they move along pretty quickly.

There is a huge stigma for a guy that is seen with one of us in public...don't forget we CDs/Tgirls are basically in disguise while the guy is there for all to see and reconize.

I really wish sometimes I were str8! But dang it emotionally and sexuallly GGs just don't do it for me...so I just have fun little encounters with men from time to time but put most my energy when dressing into going out socializing with my Tgirl friends here in Atlanta.

I have always thought the longterm solution for a gay Tgirl like me would be to have a Tgirl GF. But thats hard too! There are not many of us and its even more rare for me to find someone thats kinda on my wavelenght and that I am attracted too.

There is one girl that really is my cup of tea. She is super pretty, great personality, dresses in a classy way, like me she is part time and still works as a guy. But dammit she is married! Oh well! Just gotta keep on having fun.

Well thats my story to answer you. LOL...I bet you really want to dress yourself. Most the guys I meet when it comes down to it that are interested in us CDs actually want to dress but don't for various reason.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Crossdresser lover

...as I don't think there is much more beautiful than a girl who turns out to be a boy:o

---

Well I'm glad he brought it up. I was hesitant to say so here before, but if you forced me into boy clothes, I'd probably come across as a "tranny chaser". Some guys like girls with long legs, big butts, small breasts... I don't think there's anything wrong with liking a woman with a penis. IF I was single, I'd date her like any other woman. I would never treat her like the admirers have treated me. If I found someone attractive, it wouldn't matter what parts they did or didn't have, I'm not going to ask, but I aslo don't deny the physical features I find attractive in my head. As long as I can look into their eyes and see a woman in there, that's all that I need.

I've always had an attraction to GG women that are angular in the jaw, muscular (think Linda Hamilton in T2 or Angela Bassett in Strange Days) but still very female personas. Pink's androgynous look makes me crazy!

It's the mix of two physical genders I find most alluring visually. That's not all there is to it, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I am fine that people see me as a boy that looks like a girl, as long as they know there isn't much "boy" in my brain.

This debate seems to mirror my own internal debate through the years. I remember when I was younger, I would be flitting around in my sister's prettiest dress and some cute heels and thinking "it's not bad, at least I don't like guys." But through the years I couldn't help to start fantasizing about being with guys while I was dressed. Especially dancing with a guy while I was in a formal dress. That seemed just the femmiest thing I could ever do. Dancing soon became kissing and making out. I remember the first time I dreamt about being with a guy as a girl, it really scared me. I am still confused, I don't know what I really want at this point. My fantasies heavily involve guys, and I think I am attracted to some real guys, but I still consider myself as a straight t-girl and like girls too.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Crossdresser lover

... to know what everyone's experiences have been with dating, how did the man act, how did you want him to act ... I am trying to get the courage (and brains) to know how, and eventually go about, entering and dating in the CD scene...as I don't think there is much more beautiful than a girl who turns out to be a boy:o

To give some background information on me, I am recently 18, have been attracted to boys in girls clothes for a long, long, long time, live in Tasmania (which is in Australia), which is probably not the most tolerant of places haha.

---

Hi again. Sorry for taking so long to reply to your second post, it's been nuts here.

Your youth makes a difference in what we might have to say to you about all this. Your biggest challenge is going to be in finding TGs your age, but then again, I have seen signs here and there that more kids are being a little more open about that sort of thing, with less stigma, and I hope that turns out to be true. If you're going to go to college, maybe you'll encounter TGs in that environment, and don't overlook the resources we've already mentioned, even if it means you have to travel to a bigger city somewhere. This is going to require some work and patience on your part to find what you want.

When you do meet TGs, it may well be within some sort of alternative culture (gay, lesbian, whatever), so that might take awhile to get used to, but otherwise, when you meet a TG, just express what you have to us and don't think you have to pretend to have a lot of experience or all the answers. You may have to be the one to break the ice and make the first move, and it's okay to be a little unsure of yourself, just don't come across as fake or needy. Be yourself, be real and don't be in it just for sex, and expect her to be levelheaded as well. Beware the CD -- or the GG, for that matter -- that is all fluff and self-absorption. Especially at your age, it's all new and edgy and amped up, which is fine, but underneath all that there needs to be a real person you can relate to and get along with.

One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is to have the courage to be open about your attraction and don't be embarrassed or ashamed to be seen in the company of a CD. Yes, society being what it is, you will have to be a little selective about where you go together, but there are lots of chances to be together, and don't be afraid to push the envelope whenever you can. Be proud of her, treat her with the respect and romance you would a GG and you'll go a long way in winning her heart -- and make sure she is equally proud of being with you. Treat each other with a lot of tenderness and consideration.

And at your age, don't feel like it's the end of the world if you date awhile and one of you decides to keep it light or even move on -- there will probably be a lot of dating in your life before you find "the one".

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deidra Cowen

... All the rest really just wanted some sex and they move along pretty quickly.

---

Ain't that the truth!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deidra Cowen

There is a huge stigma for a guy that is seen with one of us in public

---

I know this is true, and I see evidence of it every time I chat online with a guy or go out, but I guess I've been doing this so long now I've lost sight of exactly why the stigma is there, at least within "alternative" environments or contexts (i.e. gay/lesbian/etc) where "unusual" pairings are the norm. I see guys at the clubs or wherever that I know are interested but they just don't have the courage to act on their interest in front of others (but get me alone with no one else around to see and oh yeah, they're all too willing to act on their impulses). Sure, some of them are friendly, but then again some of them can't even handle that, god forbid ask me to dance or otherwise show some romantic interest. I wish someone, preferably one of them, would sit down with me and explain to me exactly why being seen with me is such a problem. Again, assuming we're functioning within a tolerant environment, what exactly is the nature of the stigma?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deidra Cowen

...don't forget we CDs/Tgirls are basically in disguise while the guy is there for all to see and reconize.

---

That's a good point. And I presume that what's going through his head is, "Ohmygod, I can't let all my [gay] friends know I'm attracted to that! How would I ever live down the shame?!?"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deidra Cowen

I have always thought the longterm solution for a gay Tgirl like me would be to have a Tgirl GF. But thats hard too! There are not many of us and its even more rare for me to find someone thats kinda on my wavelenght and that I am attracted too.

---

Not to mention that most of us prefer to be the "bottom", or the more submissive, in the relationship, which raises the often insurmountable problem of who's going to be the top.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deidra Cowen

I bet you really want to dress yourself. Most the guys I meet when it comes down to it that are interested in us CDs actually want to dress but don't for various reason.

---

Again you've hit the nail on the head. So many of the guys that contact me like to wear panties or want to dress a little in private for fun and games. And they don't understand why the idea of a hairy-legged guy in pantyhose and mustache doesn't turn me on. :D My heart always sinks when I hear that sort of thing cuz I know it's going nowhere -- if I'm going to date a guy, I want him to be a guy, or else get out the razor and makeup and go for it.

Since I am married and my wife draws the line at flirting I haven't had any real dates. Danced with one gay guy once and have received compliments from any number of our admirers that come with my T-girl friends and I. I consider myself hetero but not quite as rabid as I used to think. I am a little curious and if single would probably at least consider dating a guy. And don't read "dating" as "having sex". Back in my day they were two very separate things!

As others have said, dating a CD/TG entails all the regular things that a nice guy should consider plus other baggage that comes with our special situation. I think a real world situation would work much better than trying to start something on-line. Just go out to some of the drag bars or clubs that t-girls hang out at. Ask some bartenders and I'm sure you'll find them in most large metro areas. Hang out, buy a few drinks for some of the girls, flirt a little, talk a little, get to know some of them. Just like natel girls, they want to get to know you and they want you to get to know them. You may just make some friends and who knows what else will happen.

I am married and I do not date! Dating is a thing IMHO goes for more than one time. I have met with an admirer one time and for the 10 minutes we talked and he was begging for my panties and or hose I said I had to go to work as I was just called back in, he asked about my "Husband" I played along and he begged for a kiss, I said no but the persisted and kissed me on the lips! It was my first kiss and last kiss from a male and it took 6 months for that image to get out of my head! BTW my male side wanted to knock him out!

If you are interested in a CDer to date go find a TG group and hang with them I'm sure you will hit it off with someone or at least learn more about it.
My first kiss with a guy happened when I was dressed at a party so it didn't look odd but it was different.
I got to know him through out the night and he seemed very nice. He knew I was a male.It took him the better part of an hour to figure it out but he did and he still approached me and asked for a dance.
At the end of the dance he bent down and gave me a very nice soft kiss on the lips.I was not sure how to react at first but it was a great kiss.
But it was his personality that hooked me.
As far as "gay sex" no thanks I won't do that.