Hi Lover...
If you'd had your 10 posts in I woulda sent you this in a PM, but maybe others need to read this too.
http://www.reneereyes.com/Webdocs/mtintro.html
Renee, a marvelously wise trans woman from Georgia,has put this section of her site together specifically to answer the very questions that you ask.
Have a read here!
(...and get that 10th post in!)
