Like I said they are so many different responses here. I like this thread. I just think being dressed as a woman and being with another crossdresser would be the ultimate. As long as I got to be the girl in the romance
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Like I said they are so many different responses here. I like this thread. I just think being dressed as a woman and being with another crossdresser would be the ultimate. As long as I got to be the girl in the romance
If you are attracted to a man when dressed then you are attracted to men when not dressed.
Stop trying to kid yourself, all you are looking for is an excuse to justify it.
Justify what?Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot
It's not the man that's attracted to, it's the idea that a man (or woman, for that matter) is attracted to the way we present as women.
Uh no, When I am dressed I am attracted to women, some CD/TS people, and once in awhile certain men. I am never attracted to men in guy mode. I don't look at them, I don't think they're cute, I completely ignore them. My feelings for women never go away no matter how I'm dressed. This seems to be common with many trans folk. I think it's the whole "validation" as women psychological bent at work, i.e., dressing as a woman brings out a "female sexuality". In other words, some of us are indeed half-woman in every way mentally, not just crossdressers, but not quite transsexuals.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot
Well, I personally like boys all the time..being dressed just kicks it into another gear.
Well I have never been attracted to a man when in male mode. Having said that when I am in full female dress I have had several men pay attention to me and on two ocassions have let them make a pass at me. In both cases they knew I was a CD and the relationship went as far as we each wanted. Would I do this in male mode? Absolutely not I enjoy women but when in female dress I feel and present like a woman and thoroughly enjoy the attention.
As my femme self, Veronnica, I must admit I am bi-sexual. I enjoy women so much that I aspire to look like and to act like one in my every day life. With that said, yes, I think about and look at men and they look at me. Yes, I do date men and yes, I do date women either as Ron or as Veronnica. Yes, with GG women, I can be that infamous lesbian. Veronnica
Hello All
This appears to be a very popular thread. I feel I must answer:heehee:. Anyway, what I have been experiencing as of lately is I believe to lack of intimacy I have seen beautiful transformations and sometimes I become excited of the beauty that these men...........( put on the table) for a lack of a better word. The beauty I see is very intoxicating and while I know they're men an in any other " fashion" I would see them as......well.........Yuk. A man in a 3 piece suit is lame to me but GG's go haywire. Anyway, when a man portrays a beauty that supposedletly belongs to a woman...........then things change for me. I desire the beauty but the realization that a man portrays that beauty somewhat betrays my lust somehow. Am I different in thinking this......?
Sorry........... I'm a little tipsy tonight and I'm sure I'm not making any sense:D
Then again not all girls are into the same kind of guys and it's counterproductive to assume you'd fit into yet another box.
I'm not interested in guys wearing suits, it does nothing for me so if I were to have questioned myself by only examining my attraction to men wearing suits I wouldn't get an accurate reading.
IMO It's just a bit too easy to look at big, buff dudes and say "nope, not attracted" when you've only examined a small fraction of the population.
fe: "hairy dudes? EW!" Is something that can be said by anyone, gay, straight, male, female and isn't really something to measure by.
I am with Kate on this one. I have been with three guys so far, and it went sort of ok. I tell them my limits, first. Have met one man , who loves to massage my legs, twice now. I have told him my boundries, and he is ok, gentleman widower. However, most men turn me off! I would rather be with a gg.
Please don't claim to know what's in my head. I explored that quite thoroughly during 15 years of BDSM activity and experimentation. I explore what I want and do not need excuses.Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot
Well, if you like boys then you do. If you don't then you don't. However, never underestimate the power of the dress. High on pink fog some times some of us want to be with a guy. I have had my moments of pink fog and played out the "how hot that guy is" but its just talk for me and part of the dressing up.
I know it's the mindset and all but if you can raise the flagpole for men while enfemme then what is the block causing everyone to find them unattractive in male mode?
In my case it was simply that I wasn't allowing myself to truly explore, maybe if some actually give your attractions a closer look things would open up a bit more?
Think about what you're attracted to in him while enfemme, look for the same type of men while in male mode and do an HONEST comparison on how you feel.
Don't use porn though, naked dudes are your call though.
I am attracted to women, and it doesn't change whether I am dressed or not; neither does the type of woman I find attractive change whether I am dressed or not. (Come to think of it, my attraction to women and the type of women I find attractive hasn't changed at all since early puberty.)
Maybe it is because I am an introvert and am wired differently than most people, but I just don't find male attention flattering or desirable (the only man I want to find me attractive is myself.) If there were women who got all excited by seeing me dressed, I would desire their attention, but since that scenario is really just fantasy I don't send much time worrying about it.
not into men at all, i will only notice and date women
I usually think about how to avoid men
Interesting statistics.
Excluding the "don't knows", double posts, and back and forth discussion, so far there are 23 definite "NOs". And there are 34 positive responses, ranging from definite yesses, to 'exciting thought', to 'interesting idea', to 'yes but fantasy only', to 'only when I'm dressed'.
So the tally is:
NO - 40%
Yes, maybe, interesting, when dressed only, fantasy only - 60%
I always look at the ladies, mostly wishing I was one of them.. at least for a bit..
I do have a tendency toward fanaticizing about an encounter with a guy, but ONLY when dressed.. So OP, you aren't totally alone..
Other than that, I'm lookin' and admiring the ladies..
It's maddening sometimes how easy it is for me to switch my gender spirit (spirit?) and lauded, expected sexual desires. In my normal life, I lust after women just like any guy. But once transformed into womanhood, it's only men who I find desirable, wishing so much to be with and adored by a man. Such fantasies drive me into a netherworld completely. Thinking I'm some hybrid heterosexual, able to somehow take-in both worlds, both gender identities. But truth be told, I'd choose a life as a woman and those desires in a heartbeat, if only I could. :daydreaming:
I have to admit I do like men when I am Adrienne......
Definitely all about the girls for me in both male and female mode. I have nothing against being gay, I just love women so much. I love smooth legs, shapely curves, long hair... Though I do/can find other crossdressers and transgender s attractive. I got hit on by a guy once in a club, and I very quickly announced that I was a lesbian. He wouldn't go away, but thankfully a girl I didn't know overheard the conversation and rescued me. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for that girl.
Another time was when a guy was trying to get past me, and he rested his hand on the small of back. Now I see how women can get creeped out by moves like that.
I am bi, (though primarily hetero), so it doesn't change for me. However the feelings for men intensify when I am dressed. I very much want to experience sex with a man when I am en femme, and hope to be able to experience it.
It's interesting. When Sarah emerged last year, she came along with a sexual change. I went from a 99.9% heterosexual to being what I've finally started calling myself "polysexual". I still like women the best, but I'm into some guys and I really like crossdressers and transgenders. It doesn't have anything to do with whether or not I'm dressed.
Dressed or not, I like them both :)
Reine,
Thank you for taking your time to level this conversation out,
I looked but did move on.
Quite interesting when looked at logically.
It's kind of funny...I love females who are more boyish and boys who are girly. I guess I am attracted to my fellow gender-benders. It does not change according to my clothing. I am the same in my head all the time. I am attracted to some women, and some men. Lately I'm more about the guys. It's taken me a long time to be comfortable with this, but I'm happy I've finally come to terms with being bisexual (though still single :cry:)
One psychological theory holds that we are all born bisexual. Then physical and social forces push most of is into the hetero camp. One of the main goals of most cross dressers is to pass as a woman. The more successful we are the more male attention we draw. `Not so long ago I was in that "not into men in no way" club but as I spend half of my time en femme now (still not publically) I've become more accepting to the idea of living with a man as a woman.
well some of us like me aare bisexual and we like guys and girls alike, although drssing as a girl is a world apart
None of the people I know seem to understand. I don't like men, neither physically or romantically, however, I like being a woman and having sex with a man REALLY makes me feel like I'm a woman.
I just don't think 'gay' is the right label for me. I could only be in love with a woman and I'm only attracted to women but I have sex with men to intensify my fantasy of being a woman. I guess, technically, that makes me bi-sexual but even that label implies that I like men, which I don't.
Not attracted to men at all,and consider myself hetero. However, I have to admit that when dressed and in Kristy mode I often fantasize what it would be like to have the total experience. I'd say that if I was in the pink fog,and WITH a GG prodding me ans assisting I could be easily be persuaded to give it a try.But,that's the only way that I'd be in any way attracted.Does that make sense ?
No, you're not gay. The term for you (IMO) is 'autogynephilic', which means 'the love of oneself as a woman'. It's essentially an attraction to the self as a woman who has the power to entice men. The man then just becomes a prop to your fantasy, since you're not really attracted to him as a person.Quote:
Originally Posted by aalynn88
I don't completely buy into the 'autogynephilic' angle. I don't necessarily become aroused at the thought of me being a woman. But when I get dressed to the nines and "become" a woman, I want to experience all the mental, emotional, and physical experiences that women experience, up to and including sex. Autogynephilia seems to be a description of the sexual component only, and in my opinion is insufficient in explaining the phenomena because of the all-encompassing experience I described above.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I respect that about you Cheryl but also think to myself "sigh..." because you're a cute, Southern sultry girl. And me... I don't like guys i.e. male self-identified individuals whether straight gay or bi nor whether dressed drab or posing as female.Quote:
Originally Posted by CherylFlint
No value judgement against anyone..just my own preference. I only like girls. Real girls. Whether GG (FAB) or M2F transgendered girls. But true girls nevertheless. Which is why "crossdresser" is non-specific to me. An all encompassing umbrella term that spreads a very wide net - captures ALL of us (purposefully). Nothing wrong with that. Quite a service this website provides. Love it, nooo complaints.
But to me, how I self-identify with the woman in me? It's like...what's in the middle that counts. Deeep down in your heart. In your soul. Are you or are you Not a girl? (Thats a rhetorical question, not aimed at You hun - m just thinking out loud).
Eeeeenyways...thought your query interesting. An opportunity to highlight a difference probly not too many can appreciate: the concept of a M2F TG LEZ --> = a M2F transgendered girl whose attracted only to other girls like herself, plus GG girls as well. This must be viewed as lesbianisn from the pov of the M2F TG LEZ whether she's with a GG or another M2F TG girl. Whether the latter is lez or as in your case Cheryl, by an obverse line of reasoning, heterosexual. (thus my "sigh...").
TY hun :battingeyelashes:
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Just because it may not fit you doesn't mean that it doesn't fit anyone else. If you're attracted to men and you want to have sex with them because of your attraction, then you are not autogynephilic. But the OP said that s/he wasn't attracted to men so in his/her case it may well apply. Many CDers here have indeed said that AGP applies to them. So it may be more accurate for you to say that you don't buy into the concept as it applies to you? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaM
I always liked boys. I check out women, however, usually to admire what hey are wearing.
for me personally, I don't feel like I am able to be attracted to men, and it doesn't strike me as the sort of thing that can be gained by switching clothes. That would kind of be like me saying "I don't know how to perform heart surgery unless I'm dressed as a doctor."
I thought I was experiencing bi-sexual tendencies. I have not had these fantasies at all however since I realized it was ok to dress. As I have never been attracted to men, even as we discussed the possibility of exploring these feelings, I felt no attraction to men. Just wanted to have sex with one. Rita trying to express herself perhaps?
I am Bi so i enjoy both men and women when either dressed or drab. When dressed as a woman, i prefer to be the female in the relationship, even with other women.
. There were times when dressed I thought Hmmmm? But no. its not me. I'll stay with women
Girls! Girls! Girls! ...I dig them Girls!
You're exactly right. The biggest roadblock for males and introspection with regard to our own sexuality is most often societal programming. This is a huge difference between CDs/TGs and the majority of genetic women. If you're raising (or have raised) kids, you know that they are very much programmed via childhood play and exposure to friends and popular culture, and young girls and boys' experiences during the "growing up" process are VERY different. Some of us choose later in life to override that "learned" programming and actively explore our desires with honesty, and some of us just don't allow ourselves to do that for a multitude of reasons. It's not to say every single person out there would be bisexual or gay if they just think about it harder. It seems the result just depends on the person and their internal wiring.Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
As for me, when I recently began to embrace this kind of honest introspection, I realized I was really only allowing myself crumbs of honest self assessment when I was in a more feminine mindset, which was when I was presenting fully as female. I also figured out that the only thing that was holding me back from accepting a more honest look at my desires was fear... in the form of the unnecessary need to protect my male ego. Sxometimes that comes in the form of needing my sexuality to fit into a simple and easy to understand box.
I do find that generally I'm more attracted to the female image than male, but there are rare specimens of males that I do find to be yummy. For me it's just the matter of embracing the reality of what qualities in others I find to be attractive, and to this day, it's not an easy subject to be honest with myself about. I work at it though.
This is just one more thing my wife and I talk about from time to time, and I think she finds it somewhat cute that I realize these things about myself weeks or even months after she has figured them out based on my behavior in a memorable situation for her, or just in my words relating to other conversations... :)
I find I'm generally not attracted to men or FTM no matter what I'm wearing. But that doesn't mean I don't like playing with other men's parts, and I'm attracted to crossdressers, so, hmmmm.....
When you are dressed and make up nicely and attractively why is it surprising that you find men attractive? Isn't it quite natural to feel attracted to men when you are fully living the moment as an attractive woman.
I came out years ago through my local drag scene, mistakenly assuming that men who like to dress as women were gay. I adore gay guys, but after dating a few, found that I wasn't physically attracted to them. Flirting, dancing, and being all touchy is fun and validating, and I feel most comfortable around gay guys because they are supportive and not usually interested in taking things any further with someone appearing female. I sometimes fantasize about being a lady down there and making love that way (AGP?), but I'm physically attracted to women no matter how I am dressed. Dressing is just a fun, creative thing I need to do every so often. I wish more GG's were cool with it!
Been there, done that. I admit, I have even crossed the line with a couple of them (at the same time); I must have done it more out of curiosity, I suppose, because of the afterwards feelings - I cried all night (no need to get into it now). What I got out of this experience, though, was that I discovered that going that far is with a man is not a usual goal for me. When I am out and about, I don't look for men, but I definitely still enjoy the attention I get by them. Once you realize the power you can have over men, it's pretty hard not to wanna experience it every once in a while, especially if you run into one that can treat you right. I don't shy away when they flirt, and generally do respond positively, possibly because I take their action as a form of approval for my sexiness and passing. I also get the biggest thrill from feeling how horny and excited I can make them. But at the end of the day, I believe, unless the man is super sexy and hot, other than GG's, I am only open to crossing the line with other CD's.Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnR
I'm definitely open to something happening with a man when I'm dressed. I don't so much want a man as I want to be wanted by a man...that turns me on. If that man is a passable CD, though, then I'd find myself wanting her just as much as I want to be wanted.
Exactly! I wish more people could understand this. Everyone I know just thinks I'm gay. It just sucks being misunderstood by everyone you know. Since I came out of the closet over a year ago, I lost my girlfriend and I don't think there is a single woman in the world who would want to be with me now BUT, I would rather be free to go where I please, when I please, as a woman than to have a big secret. I am living an authentic life!!!!!!!!! They don't have to understand.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I agree with Tonyav I dont think I would like to be with just a man but another crossdresser that would be awesome
When dressed as Jessica I am very attracted to guys and have gone out with a few and enjoyed being their woman for the weekend date.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alaina Ann
When dressed I look at other females as my competition.
Put me in the column of "Definitely more curious about being with/attracted to men while dressed." No, I don't find most men attractive the rest of the time, and even while dressed a lot of them hold no appeal. But the curiosity is strong when I'm dressed. As an earlier poster noted, maybe it's part of wanting a more complete female experience.