Life isn't black and white. One can fantasize and even experiment and not be on the end of your spectrumQuote:
Originally Posted by Piora
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Life isn't black and white. One can fantasize and even experiment and not be on the end of your spectrumQuote:
Originally Posted by Piora
Kissed a guy many, many times as Patti; many times it led to oh so much more; loved every second of it...
Never and never will but as others have said if i was dressed and kissed a girl heck ya . Did have a gay massage guy kiss my check before I could even brush him off, Did nothing for me and wont let it happen again.
Yes, I have, and it feels so nice.
I *think* I'm probably the most 'gay' member here. (Registered Bi/Pan, here is my card)
Why is it such a stigma? Aside from all that butch bull-hockey?
I'm not asking you just for you, I'm kinda asking myself.
This isn't the norm if you think if Greece or other old cultures. How did it get to be so 'wrong'?
To the original topic, I have had male lovers who would do everything BUT kiss.
Why is that so outside the lines?
Hi Jenny:hugs:, NOT IN THIS LIFETIME. ~~...:daydreaming:...
If you kiss another guy, it's gay. And conventional (hetero) masculinity, as constructed, cannot tolerate certain deviations from its narrow strictures. Like men wearing dresses...Quote:
Originally Posted by mechamoose
IMO it's a legacy of medieval Catholic morality, modified by conservative Protestant groups such as the Puritans, Lutherans, etc., re-interpreted by the Victorians, influenced by the fundamentalist movements of the 19th century USA, and given its modern form during the post-WWII/Cold War years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennie-cd
Tracii, if that was directed at me, then I'm sorry that you took it that I was "anti-something". I'm not anti-ANYTHING when it comes to sexuality. Again, I'm not attempting to pigeon-hole anyone. That was not my intention.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
Apologies to those that didn't care for my response. I understand that it isn't cut and dried. I wasn't attempting to "pigeon-hole" anyone. Of course there is a whole plethora of sexuality. I do know that. All I was really saying, is that dressing as a woman should not alter your sexuality, when you feel a certain way dressed as a man, then that shouldn't change somehow when you're presenting as a woman - whatever sexual orientation that may be. In other words, if the thought of kissing a man is not something you'd want to do, that shouldn't make a difference to how you feel when dressed as a woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah
That's really the only point I was trying to make. Sorry if I offended some.
Yes. It was with a man that I was close with for over 30 years. I always felt feminine with him since we were more boyfriend and girlfriend and I was alays dressed when we were together. I'm too old to try and find someone to replace him in my life since he died from CA. I was lucky to have had him in my life. It did lead to intimate activity but not always since we simply enjoyed each others company and were friends as well as lovers.
I have never kissed a male and I shall never want to.
To the topic starter, why would you feel a shame? I know emotions are strange but maybe your logic can suppress the bad feeling of it :)
Yes, just once. He leaned in and kissed me. Kinda took me by surprise but I quickly enjoyed it very much. Didn't think I ever would, although I fantasied about it. Yes it did validate my femininity. If the opportunity arises again I defiantly will go for it.
Yes, and absolutely loved every minute ( or longer) of it.
I have no problem with the gay label. The guys I'm referring to were unapologetically gay.Yet somehow kissing was a line they could not cross.
Making out is one of my favorite things. I truly don't get why it is so hard.
You'd think so, but sometimes the various roles we adopt in social situations come with different expectations of what is 'acceptable' or 'appropriate' behaviour for that particular role. For example, one tends to behave differently with gay friends than straight ones, or with men than women. Or some things can be okay when drunk but not when sober. Stage hypnosis is thought by some psychologists to be a form of consensual role-playing that allows one to behave in outrageous ways under the guise of 'not being in control' of oneself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Piora
I think this is also an important consideration of how straight men can have gay sex under certain circumstances and still consider themselves straight (which is also related to the behavioural expectations of sex roles as I noted in my previous post). Really, it just goes to show that we are not fully integrated and consistent human beings and, in extreme cases, the extents to which we go to lie to and excuse ourselves.
That just seems strange to me. The only thing I can think of is that it signified to them a level of intimacy that they weren't prepared to accept - raw sex, of course, is totally fine, but kissing implies some sort of emotional commitment - or something... :doh:Quote:
Originally Posted by mechamoose
Stephanie you were so lucky to have it last for 30 years. I was with a man for three years and had many intimate activities once the kissing started. He was so gentle and understanding but, do to a job change he moved away. I sure wish I could find someone like him again. He made me feel so feminine. I miss having a male lover.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie Julianna
:) now that makes senseQuote:
Originally Posted by Piora
Never nor do I wish to.But thats just me.:hugs:
Angie
sadly no....yet...but it's on the bucket list :love:
No but to never have kissed either man or woman is an experience that should not be missed.
Yes dressed as Lisa only,bisexual
I never have, but it's on my bucket list. I fantasize about being with another CD. It was interesting reading the various experiences.
Never. Anyway, I hate men. They are smelly and obnoxious, so I find it best to keep my distance. These days you would have to go a very long way to find a man without any sort of FACIAL HAIR. That is another thing that puts me off.
Julie.
Yea, the Muslims aren't too fond of homosexuality either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayo
To answer the original question, no, I have never kissed a man and as a married crossdresser who is only out to his wife and never gets close and personal with anyone else while dressed, it's not likely to happen in this lifetime.
For me, strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig does not change my sexual preference. I can't imagine getting romantic with another male.
Since coming out (to myself at least) as CD I've thought about this a lot, not ever having done so. I feel the idea of being attractive to (an attractive) man somewhat erotic in itself. BUT I don't feel that it would ever go beyond that. On the other hand, to all the affirmedly "straight" girls, try this thought experiment:
Imagine your ideal woman (celeb/actress or whatever). Now imagine a cismale who looks incredibly like that person apart from the physical hardware/plumbing. Call him A. Now imagine a thoroughly unattractive or even repulsive ciswoman. Call them B. You are now offered the choice of having intimate relations with either A or B in return for a no strings payment of $1m (or an appropriately larger sum of you are rich - im not!). You have to choose A or B or something awful will happen to you or someone you care about. Whom do you choose?
I suspect many would choose A. Not all, but a good few who would have categorised themselves as straight. I might even choose A myself.
The point of course is that gender and sexuality are not only different issues but also not necessarily polar or binary choices. After all, its not the female plumbing ITSELF that is intrinsically attractive or erotic, so what is it? If as some propose it is femininity then of course one might go for A for a very good reason. As someone said, we need an expanded vocabulary with which to think about and discuss these issues. More to the point, so does society in general and the muggle world in particular.
Thoughts?
Julia
True, but that has nothing to do with the particular strain of sexual puritanism that has prevailed in Western Europe and especially the countries of the old British Empire.Quote:
Originally Posted by Krisi
Dressed as a woman and looking attractive it is easy to get carried away at a party. :-)
Kissed a man, Yes. And it is amazing the range of kissability with males, some rough, itchy and scratchy, or quick but not sensual while some are delicious, sensual and make me all tingles. And it did lead to more kissing other places....
I have, several and am surprised how some find it so terrible.
XXXXXXXX from me.
I only kiss women. I let men kiss me. :D
No and no desire to.
I'm a lebian, no desire to kiss some scrufty face. Now, kissing another woman en femme would be heaven.
Unfortunately, only done that in a nightgown.
I spent an evening but not quite a night with a guy once. I'm glad I did; since I married a GG I think I'd have questions about my sexuality that I might be tempted to answer experimentally, and I don't need that. However, if Johhny Rzeznik should happen to come down out of the clouds in a spaceship with a one-hour time warp on hand, I'm hopping in no matter what I'm wearing =)
To the OP, my gender is fluid, but I'm getting more comfortable with my mean which is somewhere in between, which is how I'm presenting mostly lately, so to turn the question inside-out, I don't find that I feel more or less fem when I'm with my girl, should someone feel more or less fem when they're with a guy? Do GG's feel more fem if they have a lumbersexual boyfriend vs. a 'nice' guy? I think the answer to all this is probably a definite yes for some people, and a no for people like me. Which is what makes this site so fun, hearing from everyone! We seem to have nothing in common except we wear feminine clothing =)
Hugs,
Summer
Yes. I would not have normally. When I was 16, I met a man who was older who allowed me to crossdress at his house and drink alcohol. Yes he would have been considered a molester today. But he helped me with lingerie, dresses, heels, walking, mannerisms etc. One night, after he had helped me with makeup, he kissed me, and I kissed him back, and soon we were french kissing. I rather enjoyed it. I don't kiss all the men, just very very select few. And no beards! Yucky!
Several times I have kissed men and women. Woyld I do it again. If the mood was right and the situation was right. Did Iblike it? Absolutely! When enfemme nothing to me feels more sensual then having a stong set of hands holding me tight making me feel more woman then any clothes could ever do. Having a man tell me I am beautiful and kiss me deeply is one of the best feeling I have ever had. Yes I am sure some get the same from a woman. However when I kiss a woman while yes it is sexy the feeling is never the same. A man just seems to justify the femme feeling more for me.
Yes and the results have been mixed. Some guys are not good kissers and it was very awkward. But a couple of guys were SOOO good that it excited me as much as kissing a woman. For me it is about the person, not the gender. Passion is passion.
Many times. It really makes you feel totally connected and womanly :)
Yeaaah and was too sexy (french kisses)
I like this. I think I might choose A myself--and if I didn't, then I'd probably ask myself why I didn't and might regret not doing so. And to answer the original question, I have, and it has led to more than kissing and I would probably do it again and enjoy it more than before because I'd worry less about these things. However, and maybe this is odd, but I would only do so again (and have only done so before) while en femme. I've had gay men hit on me while I'm not dressed and quite frankly it does nothing for me. That they *like* me as a boy doesn't rev my motor. But, as Julia said above, the notion that I am attractive as a woman to an (attractive) man *is* erotic, and maybe that's because I want to be found as attractive since I don't shave or cinch or fumble with press on nails etc because I want to look unattractive. And as a great admirer of femininity overall, that I can be thought of (even in an admitted abstract) as a woman, well then I feel entirely fulfilled. And if he's good looking? Then probably turned on. Maybe it makes me bi. Makes it makes me gay. Maybe I just like the attention. Maybe it doesn't matter. If I look good in those pumps and dress girlfriend, I will feel pretty free to enjoy myself ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia1984
I don't want to sound like the ***** of Babylon, but probably about twenty-five total, all but one while I was presenting as a girl. I don't like furry faces, but more because the fur gets wet and slimy in the process of making out than the scratchiness. Other than that, I enjoy it a lot.
I *think* it is OK for me to answer this - I'm always in full femme!Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny22
Yes, I have kissed a man. Or rather, he kissed me. (Actually I did this just about 5 minutes ago with my fiancé.)
Well, for the most part, women don't kiss as hard as men do. Or at least my fiancé kisses much harder, and more aggressively than my girlfriend, or any of the women I've been with, does. He has a mustache, that's something different if you are only used to women. His body is angular and hard. Overall, I'd say it's a pretty different experience than kissing a woman. Yup. It is a *nice* experience too!
No, I didn't feel more feminine - I always feel exactly like the woman I am. Which is a pretty darn feminine woman, as it turns out. I'm a girly-girl, for the most part - that is to say I fall within stereotypically feminine norms. But no, who I'm with doesn't affect how I feel about myself. I can kiss my girlfriend, and feel totally feminine too.
Having said that, though, there are a couple of things that I have experienced that I think are probably more what you are really asking about. Being with a man is VALIDATING as a woman. Having doors held for you, meals bought for you, being actively pursued, etc. is a wonderful experience. It is easy to get sucked into this, and get your identity really wrapped up in all that. I don't recommend that. Another factor that goes along with this is that being seen as a straight woman, part of a straight couple, is much easier socially. NO ONE stares at you. NO ONE comes up and tells you what a cute couple you are (this has happened with me and my girlfriend). In general, you are just one of the other straight couples, out doing something that straight couples do. Being straight is easier, there is no doubt about this. I'm not actually straight - but it looks that way to outsiders when I'm with my boyfriend. (That I keep mentioning a girlfriend as well should tell you that I'm bisexual.)
Oh, as to whether or not kissing a man leads to other activities, no, not really. I mean, I decided before we went out on our first date that I was going to sleep with him unless something just went horribly, horribly wrong during our date. Actually, I guess if he'd been a really awkward and terrible kisser, it might have lead to something NOT happening. But when I go out with someone, I know one way or another whether or not I want to have sex with them well in advance. (This has surprised everyone I've been with since transition, because they all think I'll be timid, and they'll have to gently coax things in that direction. Ha! About 30 minutes into the date, most of them start to wonder "what have I gotten myself into?")
No nor do I want to.
I kissed a boy and I liked it.
Hmmm... maybe I could make a song about that
Never have, nor do I wish to, I'm just a plain lesbian :).
Yes, one time another cross-dresser was celebrating her 30th birthday. I gave her a nice deep French kiss. Of course I was very drunk at the time.
I have kissed a few men and I have to say not my cup of tea. (which would be sweet tea) It could be the fact that most of the men I have kissed had no idea how to kiss which made things a tad more difficult. I do enjoy kissing other Cds and women. I guess that would make me lesbian in a way. =)
And I've kissed a few women that don't kiss good either!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebekah Paige
Does my grandmother and her scratchy beard count?
I have always loved women in general but as I age it has been a curiosity to me and recently I have been having fantasies of what it would be like hooking up with other cross dressers in a safe environment to see what would happen. Devone
Never.
Never even kissed my dad. The only male people I've ever kissed are my sons.
I did, being en femme. One of the most awkward experiences of my life I must say. Felt weird at first, then I guess, I did feel more feminine as a result, yes. But weird none the less...