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Wow Linda, I'm really sorry to read your post. I've been dressing for as long as I can remember. It is a part of me that will always be there and it is something about me that I truly enjoy and embrace.
When my wife I were dating I told her about it. I explained to her that this is something I enjoy and it makes me feel nice about my softer side. My wife was very accepting of it right from the start. I'll admit she was a little taken back at first but after the first few times I dressed up with her she was fine with it.
I've been very lucky to find someone who not only accepts it but embraces it and there are many times when we are out at the stoes when she will pull something off the rack and say how pretty I would look in it and even will buy some outfits for me as well.
She has never once had an issue with my wearing something sexy during lovemaking or even going out wearing something pretty. I hope you find that one day in this life so you can be who you are without the feeling of guilt or having to pretend to be something or someone you are not.
I feel sad for you that you have to hide such a huge part of who you are. I wonder how your wife would feel if you expected her to deny something that is so very true to your core of who you are?
Hope things improve for you and maybe you should get your wife to read these responses. Maybe it would help her to accept the man she married.
Good luck.
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Hi Linda,
I didn't realize just how much we had in common when we exchanged messages recently. I am in exactly the same situation as you and unfortunately so many of the other girls. My wife and I have tried couples counseling, I have tried private counseling but to no avail. I am now seeing a therapist, at her request, to get me fixed and to make me stop that stupid habit of mine.
My therapist, and the counselors have tried to make her understand that there is really nothing wrong with my crossdressing and that she should try and be more understanding and possibly accepting of it, yet she totally refuses to hear a word that is said. She wants to be in total control of everything, especially my life. It is not good enough that she does not participate, does not see me dressed or even sees pictures of me dressed, she wants to control my life and actions. According to her, I am not allowed to leave the house dressed or even get dressed more than one a month.
I understand her feelings and make allowances to accommodate them. All I am asking is that she understand my feeling and needs and accommodate them. Unfortunately this does not appear to be something that will ever happen.
My therapist is now getting me ready to accept the fact that in most probability my marriage will neither be able to succeed nor continue. He is also working with me to accept and understand that I will most probably be living as Nicole full time in the not too distant future. While this is wonderful news to me, it means the end of over 40 years of marriage. For this I feel anger and hatred towards her. I feel guilty for feeling this way but my therapist tells me that it is a normal feeling under the circumstances.
So, here we all are, in this same miserable situation. I can see no way out for myself, but I sincerely hope that all of you find ways to resolve you differences and make your relationships work.
Nicole
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wow what a great thread,, well
omg totally ditto ditto ditto..
My wife are in a very happy dont ask dont tell kinda playful mood rightnow,,
she just came over and thru a comestic glossy addof a mixed sexed group photo, and said , geesh that would be fun.. I said as a girl or boy,, she laughed and left..
my point is even thou there is tension and stress, have fun , be positive,, and think happy,, (thank you Laura P for the wisdom)
I know its all sounds sappy but freaken way better than the opposite,, so go for it,, if the worst case happens, at least you tried.
hey I'm no role model here ladies..
ciao roberta
