For Those Who Can't "Pass"

Thanks for the tips nicole :) yeah, I think if I do decide to get it straightened I will go for a chemical relaxer, I'm also considering changing the color for the first time, hair is really the one femme thing I really haven't experiemented with yet. When I first started wearing my mom's clothes and buying bras and panties as a young teen (before I could drive) I never had a chance to even get a wig. Then for the past couple years I've cut it every morning after I shave to the lowest setting my clippers had, so growing it out is completely new and kind of fun. My office doesn't have any real rules on male hair length (checked the dress code) but I'll probably have to be just about ready to come out before I can get it chemically relaxed. (I do have quite a while before it'll be long enough for that) In the meantime I'm actually considering getting a wig so I can try to put together a more complete femme look.

As for getting smaller, I was just planning on doing a ton of cardio and a strict low calorie diet without any heavy lifting (all the stuff I used to make fun of guys who did, ha, how I've changed lol)

No hope of passing. Still I go out wholly en femme--clothes & necklaces, no makeup--to restaurants, shops, malls, galleries. Just crazy, I guess.:heehee:

This is a relevant thread for me. I don't try to pass and probably couldn't with my frame and voice.

I usually wear women's clothes that aren't labeled as "obviously female" by society (no skirts, lace, etc) however they are still from the women's section of the stores. A pair of women's jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt from J-Crew, some flats and a messenger bag/purse are perfect for me, and I can wear these and run into people I know without fear of being "read".

That said, I've been known to say "screw it" and wear women's jerseys hiking, running, or cycling out on backroads.

The way I see it, passing can be a goal and I think everyone can reach that level with a lot of effort and practice. It is style, poise, makeup, clothing, attitude, voice etc. etc. A lot of the worries about looks, hands, height can hold you back, but in reality they don't really have much impact. Passing is a percentage game... sometimes you will get it all right and pass and sometimes you won't so the answer is to try to blend and if someone reads you, you should not be upset. You are CDing afterall...so be honest and upfront if questioned about it.

...maybe we won't look like a 10...but I think it is possible for anyone to pass sometimes if you really try.

It's not always about passing; there are plenty of very ugly, fat GG's out there that we could blend in with.

It's about wanting to be beautiful, and very few of us here can manage that. Yeah, I know, 'it's all about attitude', and 'beauty comes from the inside', yada yada yada. For all the assorted reasons, the desire to be a stunningly beautiful, sexy woman resides in a lot of us, but it's just not going to happen for 99% of us, because we're simply not built that way. Yes, there are quite a number of men who will date us, even knowing that we aren't 'real women', in fact, that may be the real draw. But for those of us who aren't interested in men, that's not exactly any consolation prize.

In addition, I for one grew up being made fun of on a daily basis for my appearance, and have absolutely no desire to go through that again, ever. So trying to 'pass' isn't in the cards.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

It's not always about passing; there are plenty of very ugly, fat GG's out there that we could blend in with.

It's about wanting to be beautiful, and very few of us here can manage that. Yeah, I know, 'it's all about attitude', and 'beauty comes from the inside', yada yada yada. For all the assorted reasons, the desire to be a stunningly beautiful, sexy woman resides in a lot of us, but it's just not going to happen for 99% of us, because we're simply not built that way. Yes, there are quite a number of men who will date us, even knowing that we aren't 'real women', in fact, that may be the real draw. But for those of us who aren't interested in men, that's not exactly any consolation prize.

In addition, I for one grew up being made fun of on a daily basis for my appearance, and have absolutely no desire to go through that again, ever. So trying to 'pass' isn't in the cards.

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I don't agree. I wish I could at least pass as an ugly woman.

And even "ugly" women have their appeal. It can be the skin, the smile, whatever. They are women in all right, with this special touch that makes us envious.

But all you can see with whatever I wear is a guy

Well, it is shape that is feminine or not...

Now about being beautiful - what woman doesn't want to be such?
I mean how do you think the beauty industry got rich?

Ya know, wanting to be young and beautiful is just a natrual feminine trait.

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Originally Posted by Lainie

No hope of passing. Still I go out wholly en femme--clothes & necklaces, no makeup--to restaurants, shops, malls, galleries. Just crazy, I guess.:heehee:

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You Go Lainie, you sound like a girl after my own heart.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

In addition, I for one grew up being made fun of on a daily basis for my appearance, and have absolutely no desire to go through that again, ever. So trying to 'pass' isn't in the cards.

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The same is true of me. I've carried enough hang-ups about my appearance as a guy into my adult life that I doubt I could ever be confident going out in public en femme on any day other than Halloween unless the same special effects crew that transformed Robin Williams into Mrs. Doubtfire had just given me a makeover. :straightface: