Nigella, I agree with every word, wish I could have put it so well! Katie, it can happen, I know because I do dress whenever I want to, and it's just fine with the wife. As she says, if I'm happy, she's happy.
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Nigella, I agree with every word, wish I could have put it so well! Katie, it can happen, I know because I do dress whenever I want to, and it's just fine with the wife. As she says, if I'm happy, she's happy.
Fifty percent of the marriages end in divorce for one reason or another. And, that does not include the marriages that are not dissolved that should be. For the younger cross dressers, eliminate some of the losing percentage by fully disclosing your cross dressing current and ultimate desires before marriage. When married respect established boundaries, stated or inferred. They exist even in a DADT relationshio. Take a chance.
well, I'm single and its no better. especially since I seek a tg soul mate. at least some of you had relationships and kids, for some of us it doesn't seem to be an option.
One of the things that I see here far too often is the lament that someone can't find an accepting partner and wants to know how to find one. The key to me is to find a loving and compatible partner and then come clean. You can't base the beginning of a relationship on acceptance. I would guess that a majority of the relationships here where the spouse or girlfriend is completely accepting will have a spouse or girlfriend that says they love the CD/TG/TS for who they are and the changes and/or dressing don't make a difference. I know of only one relationship here that at least started because one member was a CD. I am probably not going out on a limb to say that relationship has flourished because of the love and not so much the dressing.
When we were married .13 yrs ago,
I was very upfront about what my Tg issues were and she accepted me as I was .
To this day she is still supportive ,but the problem is that I am not where I was 13 yrs ago . I was content to have someone that accepted me and was willing to go out with me.
I now want to be 24/7 ,but I made a commentment and we are trying to find the correct balance .
This is actually true universally, and not just for CD/TV/TG/DVD/VHS folks, isn't it? How many perfectly vanilla people (particularly women) have had it drummed into their heads since childhood, in some cases, that you must be married, no matter what and as soon as possible, then had it all end miserably because they took the quick option just to not be alone? I've seen far too much of that around me in my life, and I've always sworn it wouldn't happen to me!Quote:
Originally Posted by Bree_K
I dated one girl a few years ago that was into CD/TG guys....that was before I came out and accepted myself.
I dated a girl a couple of months ago at a Halloween party that I hit it off quite well. I was wearing a pink little girl style dress with a poufy petticoat, we talked all night, but she got shaky knees a few days aftwards. I think the outfit inevitably freaked her out.
I'm afraid I can't be not CD/TG these days, it's all been with me since age 7. :sad:
The reality is I'm like every other boring hetero guy......except I'm someone who does not like the constraints of gender.....and unfortunately, the more I'm around women, the more I want to be like them. The feelings of jealousy in how women express themselves rocket up. So therefore such a thing creates an extra burden in finding a mate.
Yup. The grass is always greener on the other side. But being in a couple is only better than being single when you're with THE ONE.Quote:
Originally Posted by JustineFallow
In my experience most women are more accepting of their partner having a more feminine body that is breasts and or long hair etc and just a few female clothing items, under dressing for one rather than pull off the whole look. The complete feminization freaks some completely out. Being single I can work both ends of the spectrum with out issue. At times I do want to be totally fem but taking someone along for the ride that doesn't want to go is painful for both and not really fair to either side.
It's not like we usually have much of a choice. Either deceive the girl about who and what we are, or tell the truth and be alone anyway is how it usually works out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marleena
Sad but true, Sometimes Miss. Single older men are the least accepted people in America, and more of us commit suicide, than any other demo. So, it is bad enough being a rejected loner, but, being CDTG multiplies our chances of being alone
all our lives.
many people are better off staying singleQuote:
Originally Posted by Marleena
The easy answer is: don't get into a romantic relationship without everything on the table from the start (that is, from the point it becomes clear that a romantic relationship has actually formed) or with anyone who is not completely accepting.
This doesn't work very well for people who are already in such relationships and have been, in many cases, for decades. This doesn't work for people who were unaware of the nature of transgenderedness at the time, or who still struggle with self-acceptance. It's a vaccine, not a cure.
But if you're in a position to apply it, do so. I won't even consider anything else. (It helps that, in a romantic relationship, I want to be thought of as a girlfriend, not a boyfriend, so there are no conflicting desires of mine in play. It also helps that I don't feel any pressing need to get into a relationship, though it would be nice.)
Edited to add what was going to be another post:
Good points. That's why I don't even try with straight women (though I'm attracted to women as well as some non-binary people). They want a boyfriend. I want to be a girlfriend. It won't work.Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia_in_Pa
Actually, I've never tried directly for a romantic relationship at all, and don't plan to start, but that's not the point.
I know im better off being by myself and probally will always .i told my x wife 3 yrs before we got married and our breakup was caused mostly by the cding .Thou there were other issues this is what mainly caused the breakup .We do get along but do not talk about the cding .Now my x GF was very supportive in the beginning but did back track i tried to be very honest with her and tried to take it slow it did not work out .i was the one who gave up i wanted the all supporting spouse and got selfish (my fault yes) .
We still talk and are very good friends and she does still ask questions and is still trying to learn after being apart for 2 yrs now .i have also not dressed in front of her in those 2 yrs and did not for quite awhile before the relationship ended .So for now im happily but unhappily by myself which i think is best as i do not want to put another gg throu this only to have it fail
Just because you haven't found the right person doesn't mean they don't exist? That's true for everyone, not just CDers! We all have things in our lives that could make or break a relationship it's all in what you do with them and who you share them with. If it's not meant to be then it just isn't going to work no matter how hard you try, accept that and move on.
Yes it's a tall order to find a GG ( if that's what you're looking for) who can accept all sides of you, but it's just as tough for someone with other problems to find someone who will accept all sides of them as well?? But it is possible with the right attitude!
I've been married for 30 years and have been CDing most of that time with my wife knowing. If I was single that whole time who knows what gender I would be now, if I would of had some therapy in my twenty's. But I can't say that I would change a thing. I love my wife more than anything, I have two great kids and now grandkids. I have a great life. It is hard now that I'm in therapy to try and understand my feelings, if it was just me it would be easier to come out and explore more fully Janelle. But I'm not so I deal with that the best I can.